Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO, Home Box Office Inc., WarnerMedia, Production Partners

Old Man

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HBO original comedy Curb Your Enthusiasm drops s10e3 tonight February 2nd, 2020.

#CurbYourEnthusiasm has yet to be renewed for an 11th season.

rottentomatoes: 93%

metacritic: 80

imdb: 8.7

emmys: 2 wins

golden globes: 1 win

SAG awards: 6 nominations

Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO, Home Box Office Inc., WarnerMedia, Production Partners, Larry DavidLarry David

Larry David endures elderly life outside of Los Angeles, California.

Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO, Home Box Office Inc., WarnerMedia, Production Partners, Larry DavidOUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES

6 nominations: 2003, 2004, 2006, 2010, 2012, 2018

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy

3 nominations: 2003, 2005, 2006

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series

3 nominations: 2006, 2010, 2018

“Let me ask you something.  You happy with your color?  Yeah.  You’re mahogany.  No.  Ah, well, what is it?  What is it?  That’s what white people’s skin tone is.  It’s just different kinds of hot cereal.  Black people, your skin tone’s like, it depends on the amount of milk you put in the coffee.  Yoo-hoo’s a good color.  Yeah, Yoo-hoo’s a really good color.  There you go.” — Larry David

“Randi.  Yeah.  I know, I know, I know.  Yeah.  Eh.  It’s a little late, frankly, for the ‘Happy New Years,’ you know?  Yeah, that’s too long.  The statue of limitations has kind of run out on the ‘New Years.’  Three days.  Plenty.  By the way, everything doesn’t have to be happy.  Why does everything have to be happy?  Yeah.  Look at you.  That’s, that’s huge.  If you need some name tips, I’m your guy.  Yeah.  Maybe something, uh, Swedish, perhaps?  You like saying that, don’t you.  Yeah.  I think you wanted me to know.  In some ways, yes.  In some ways, no.  All right.  Enjoy your workout.  What are you doing?  What’s with the– what’s with the jogging?  Working out?  You, you’re jostling the fetus.  You can’t– you can’t run in your condition.  Maybe you want to consult your blacksmith.  See what he says about it.  I pity that fetus.  Oh, my God.  I can’t watch this.  Yeah, Happy New Year.” — Larry David

“Hey, hey, hey.  Come on.  Come on, man.  You’re over-talcing here.  Ugh!  Yeah, yeah.  I couldn’t even breathe in there.  He was putting talc under his arm, on his balls… it was disgusting.  I mean, who still uses that?  Can’t be good for you.  Really?  That’s incredible.  Boy.  You don’t see… you don’t see any of those in LA, do you?  I like that.  Mocha– Mocha Joe’s.  Mocha Joe.  I know a Mocha Joe.  You want some coffee?  Let’s go in here.” — Larry David

“Oh, boy, oh, boy.  Mocha Joe!  Hey!  This is unreal.  I’ll get a– do you have scones?  Great.  I’ll have a scone, and a, uh, cup of coffee.  There you go.  Keep the change.  Mm.  It’s a little soft.  Yeah.  Scones are supposed to be hard.  This is like a muffin.  Yeah, fresh hard.  I’m not quite sure you know what a scone is, Mocha Joe.  Do you?  You may have a looser definition of a scone than I do.  I don’t think it’s really open to interpretation, though.  Yeah, I’ll keep the scone-slash-muffin.  Yeah.  Muffin.  Yeah.” — Larry David

“Oh, my God.  Look at this table.  Do you believe it?  Hey, uh, hey, Mocha Joe.  Check out this table.  It’s a wobb– you got a wobbly table, here.  Stop moving it?  It’s– every time I, I, I lean on it, it’s gonna move.  I’m gonna sit with my foot on the table?  Mocha Joe, can I give you a little advice.  Nobody likes a wobbly table.  Fastest way to lose customers is wobbly tables.  Aah.  Taste your coffee.  It’s cold.  Hey, Mocha Joe.  This is cold coffee.  Is your coffee cold?  Can, can I get a n– can I get a new cup?  So you’re not gonna give me a new cup.  That’s a hot cup of coffee?  Would you stick your nose in a hot cup of coffee?  Because I want to prove to you that it’s cold coffee.  Watch this.  That’s cold coffee.  It does.  What’d you say to me?  With pleasure!  You think I want to sit here with a wobbly table, and drink cold black coffee?  No, thank you.  Happy New Year, Mocha Joe!” — Larry David

“Your dog?  He’s eating out of my bowl.  It’s an office bowl for humans.  Not for dogs.  No, that’s not enough.  It needs to be sterilized.  I can’t, I can’t… share a bowl with a dog.  Ah!  Wait a second.  Wait a second.  Look at this.  Is that new?  All right, what– what the hell is that?  Why is one eye closed?  Huh?  What is all that?  Yeah, it’s very personal.  The whole world can see it, but it’s personal.  Okay, okay.  Hey, let me ask you something, okay?  If I walked in here with a horn on my head, would you say, ‘what are you doing with a horn on your head?’  I’d say, ‘oh, I can’t tell you.  It’s personal.’  Really?  Then why didn’t you put it on your ass?  Ah.  All right.  Okay.  May I?  We, I was… cleaning my glasses.  No good?  Hmm.  Okay.” — Larry David

“And he called me, uh… he called me old and bald.  I swear to God.  You’re gonna boycott Mocha Joe’s?  Hey!  Hey.  Look at this guy.  Look at this guy.  Alright.  Okay.  Enjoy your coffee.  He’s boycotting.  That’s a big move.  Oh!  What the hell?  Geez.  Unbelievable.  I’m starving.  Oh!  Pigs in a blanket.  What’s better?  I’ve been following her around all night, but she never has any.  Yeah.  Ladies and gentlemen, the 16th president of these United States… …Abraham Lincoln.  Let’s give him a round of applause.  It is such an honor to be standing near you, Mr. President.  Oh, really?  I know you look ridiculous.  How about that?  Hey, you know what?  Somebody has to stand up for that fetus.  I know you don’t go on a treadmill eight months pregnant. You don’t have to be a genius to figure that out.  Do you think that’s good for the fetus?  All that jostling?  ‘Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth to this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, dedicated…’ you’re too late.  ‘Happy New Year.’  Come on.  It’s three weeks.  It’s ridiculous.  Oh, man.  I can’t believe it.  Aw, I missed ’em again.  It’s unbelievable.  Hey.  Good.  Phil Rosenthal.  Somebody Feed Phil.  He should be feeding other people.  You know what I’m gonna do with him tonight?  The Big Goodbye.  I’m employing The Big Goodbye.  How great is The Big Goodybe?  You avoid the person all night… and then at the end, when you’re about to leave, you go, ‘ah!’  You give ’em a big goodbye.  Then they feel good… they’re very happy that you spent this time with them at the end of the night, and… and you slip out.  Yeah, I’ll do it.  Yeah.  Of course.  Ted.” — Larry David

“I’d like to thank Jeff and Susie for inviting us into their beautiful home.  Well, I think the house is very nice.  And, and, and look at all our other friends who are kind enough to join us.  There’s, there’s Ted Danson.  And how about Susie, our inimitable hostess?  Are you having a good time?  I’m… I’m not gonna kiss a dummy.  What a great audience.  Thank you.  Thank you.  You don’t need to call her when you land.  If there’s a plane crash, we’ll know about it.  Ah!  There you are.  Finally gotcha.” — Larry David

“Get out of here?  What are you talking about?  Ogling you?  Are you nuts?  I, I, I’ve been ogling the pigs in a blanket.  What?  I want one.  Hey.  Excuse me.  Huh?  Were we a hit?  We were the highlight of this party.  What are– what are you doing?  Uber?  I’ll take you home.  Ah, it’s nothing.  Um, just give me… okay.  All right.  Thanks.  Are you kidding?  I can’t believe I didn’t get a chance to talk to you all night, and now I’m on my way out.  What a shame.  The Big Goodbye?  What are you– what are you talking about?  I wasn’t giving you a Big– I never heard of the Big Goodbye.  No, it wasn’t.  It was just a normal goodbye.  That’s a normal goodbye.  Ethiopia.  I don’t think I’m running off to Ethiopia– I… I… I don’t like to leave the continent, you know.  Nah.  Okay.” — Larry David

“You know, did I ever tell you that I once did a, uh, premature Big Goodbye?  I did a Big Goodbye and then I didn’t– and I didn’t leave.  I ran into her in the kitchen about an hour later.  She said, ‘I thought you left.’  I said, ‘well, you know.  I got, uh… something happened.’  I don’t know.  I made up a story.  I, but I, I can’t believe that… that he knew about the Big Goodbye.  That was unbelievable to me.  Yeah.  You… I would do it again.” — Larry David

“By the way, before we get into that, are you aware that you have  a wobbly table here?  Look at this.  Look at this table.  It’s unbelievable.  If all tables in your house wobbled, you could live like that?  You could live in a wobble-house?  I, I don’t know how you can go to bed at night.  What?  What are you so… I’m, I’m your ex-husband.  No, he’s not such a good person, okay?  You don’t do that.  You don’t date a friend’s ex-wife.  I mean, it’s crazy.  You know what it is?  Morally superior.  Yes.  I hear that a lot.  You’re better than me.  I can relate to what you’re saying, ’cause I don’t, I don’t feel that way with people.  I feel morally inferior to people.  But I feel that way with animals ’cause they’re generally so stupid, and I can– especially insects, I can crush them.  You know, and, and they eat each other.  I mean, they’re crazy, animals.  So, yeah.  I feel smarter and morally superior to them.  Hey.  Uh… let me ask you something.  Is there any chance that… we might meet up again?  I’m gonna tell you something, okay?  If we ever get back together… …and somehow this table appeared on, on our bedside… …it would be fixed immediately.  Immediately.  I could not live with a wobbly table.  Okay.” — Larry David

“What?  What are you?  My mother?  All right, I was at a party, okay?  I was at Jeff’s party.  Huh?  I’m not tappin’.  I’m not tappin’.  When I’m tappin’ I always tell you.  You wanna know who I’m tappin’?  You wanna know who I’m tappin’?” — Larry David

“I can’t get out of it.  It’s Phil Rosenthal.  He’s just– what do you do?  How many times can you say no?  I did the Big Goodbye.  He was right through it.  I did that the last time I had lunch with him.  Yeah, it was a great party.  I did.  I had a nice time.  Yep.  Yeah.  I’m a nice guy.  Yeah.  I’m a nice guy.  Yeah.  Pretty much.  Dropped her off.  Said good night.  Went on my merry way.  Is there something you would like to know, or– something you’re not saying?  Um… no, they’re not normal questions.  You’re fishing– you’re on a little fishing expedition.  We’re something?  You know what?  You’re something.  You’re something.  That’s right.  Yeah.  Yeah.  Listen.  You cannot say anything to Susie.  Cannot.  Under any circumstances.  Cheryl swore me to secrecy.  She didn’t want me to tell you.  But I had to.  I couldn’t– how could I not?  I’m a human being, for God’s sake.  Right?  I’m hoping to get back together, but… I’ll be surprised if I see her again.  Yeah.  Um… Arnie Norton asked if he could play.  Really?  I gotta.” — Larry David

“Hey, Phil!  Good to see you.  Sit.  Sit down.  Sit down.  Boy, I’m so glad we did this.  It was such a good idea.  You, you were definitely right.  I’m, I’m starving.  I hope this place is good.  You know what else?  I’ve been thinking… really thinking about this Ethiopia thing.  Wasn’t that one of the shithole countries?  I can’t remember if that was on the list or not.  Oh!  Oh!  Really?  Let’s… send, send an Uber or something.  No, no!  You know what?  Phil… ah!  Fill her up.” — Larry David

“Ah!  Arigato!  Arigato!  Huh.  Sad.  Very sad.  Sad.  Whoa.  Oh, God.  Oh, God.  Oh, God.  Oh, God.  I’m sorry, I didn’t see you.  I’m sorry, I didn’t see you!  I’m sorry.  I didn’t see you.  Will do.  Will do.  Okay.  Thank you.” — Larry David

“What are you– what are you doing here?  Come here.  come out.  I want to talk to you.  No, come on.  Come on out here.  Come on.  I want to talk to you.  Come on.  Aw, fuck it.  What are you doing here?  You said you were gonna boycott this place.  Oh, this is a boycott?  Sitting here drinking coffee?  That’s a boy– that’s quite a boycott.  That’s not what you said.  You said you’re boycotting this place.  And you’re never coming back here.  You didn’t say with me.  Look!  Who the fuck needs you for a boycott if I’m boycotting already?  I don’t need you to boycott.  You said you’re boycotting, but you didn’t boycott.  I– I don’t understand.  I si– I don’t understand you.  Oh, my God.  Now she’s drinking coffee!  It’s unbelievable.  Susie’s friend.  I saw her in the gym the other day.  She’s eight months pregnant.  She was running on a treadmill.  She has no regard for this fetus.  Now she’s drinking coffee.  Is it hot?  Let me see that for a second.  Okay.  That’s not hot coffee, okay?  If that was hot coffee, I, I would have burned my nose.  Not hot.  Oh, really?  Huh.  Is that so?  With pleasure.  Mark my words, Mocha Joe, and mark them well.  I don’t know how, and I don’t know when, but I will exact vengeance.  As God as my witness, I will bring you to the brink of extinction, or I will die trying.  Happy New Year, Mocha Joe!  Happy New Year.” — Larry David

“What the fuck!  Fuck!  Shit.  Damn it.  Frickin’ dog.  I’ll be out in a second.  Oh.  ‘Cause I spit cereal up all over my shirt, because there was dog hair in it.  Right?  So… what’s going on?  What do you… what, what are you doing here?  What are you talking about?  Well, I did have the hat on, yeah.  No, no.  Look, I got this idea to wear that hat so I wouldn’t have to have lunch with Phil Rosenthal.  And it worked like a charm.  He saw me in the hate and he left the restaurant.  It was amazing.  You know what?  It’s really comin’ in handy.  Exactly!  It’s, it’s a great people repellent.  You know, look.  When you’re a celebrity, you can do anything you want.  You can grab ’em by the *****– what?  Oh, no, no!  No, I– no, I’m– no!  No, no, I’m just– no!  What?  Hey!  What?  No!  I’m in the bathrobe ’cause your fuckin’ dog got hair and that’s not Weinstein!” — Larry David

“I’ll take it.  Yeah, so you did, Mocha Joe.  So you did.  I’ve merely come to inform you that I have leased the place next door, where I’ll be opening up a coffee shop exactly the same as yours.  Only charging much lower prices.  All for the express purpose of taking you down.  Yeah.  Yeah.  I’ll get beans.  I’ll get better beans.  Mocha Joe.  I will find better beans.  You know what?  I’m gonna call it?  Latte Larry’s.” — Larry David

“Y-yes.  Yes, yes.  Yeah, I’m positive.  I’m a little surprised, is all.  Come in.  Wow.  Holy cow.  I can’t– I can’t believe you’re here.  Um… give me two minutes.  Two minutes.  I’ll be right back.  Stay right there.  I need that talcum powder.  It’s an emergency.  Get me the talcum powder!  Cheryl.  Ooh.  Ooh.  No good?  Oh!  Oh, my God.  Easy.  Hey.  Jesus, slow down.  Oh, she, uh, swallowed some talcum powder, and is having an allergic reaction to it.  Kind of a personal question, don’t you think?  So sorry!” — Larry David

“Oh, my God.  You look so much better.  Oh.  Are you kidding?  I couldn’t even look at you before.  I mean, I was… really, like, hideous.  You looked… disgusting.  I could barely glance at you.  Yeah.  Yeah.  Yeah, I’m sorry about that.  Yeah.  But you know, I was thinking, if that happened when we were married and your face… for some reason, stayed that way, what would I have done?  Well, I mean, could I have lived with you looking like that?  What are you– what are you doing here?  Randi’s here?  She got stung by a wasp.  Bravo!  Bravo, Poirot.  What?  What?  How does he– how does he know you’re in the hospital?  Just keep your fuckin’ trap shut!  Oh.  Hey!  Oh!  Oh, my God!  You?  Oh, please.  After what that fetus has been through, this’ll be a day at the beach.  Happy New Year!” — Larry David

Cheryl David, Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO, Home Box Office Inc., WarnerMedia, Production Partners, Cheryl Hines Cheryl David, Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO, Home Box Office Inc., WarnerMedia, Production Partners, Cheryl HinesCheryl David


2 nominations: 2003, 2006

“I know.  Susie loves this house even more than her last one.  It was too big.  Um, are you up for doing our old ventriloquist act?  I don’t know.  Susie wants to see it.  You will?  Okay, good.  Can we do it pretty soon?  Because I want Ted to see it before he leaves.  Thank you.” — Cheryl David

“I like the other one.  Did they throw that fish smell in for free?  Wow, is he handsome!  He sure thinks so.  Susie, I love the curtains, but why did you make a jacket out of it?  A good time?  Are you kidding me?  I’m with a bunch of stiffs, the food sucks, the drinks aren’t strong enough, and your hand is up my ass.  Hey.  Don’t look so down.  Are you mad?  Let’s kiss and make up.  Aw.  That’s the end.  Thank you.  Okay.  Oh, I know.  You gotta stay… …healthy.  Okay.  Okay, I’ll walk you, Ted.” — Cheryl David

“Wow.  Ah.  Hey.  We were a hit.  Highlight of the party.  Yeah, I mean, it’s been a while, but we’ve still got it.  I’m gonna go home.  I’m just getting an Uber.  You don’t have to do that.  Okay.  Okay.  Thank you.  That’s– give me two minutes.” — Cheryl David

“So what does that mean?  You said goodbye and then you didn’t leave?  Come on.  And what did they do?  They were mad?  Come on.  And what do you say?  What do you even say?  Well, I can’t believe that you kissed me when you knew I had a cold.  That was pretty unbelievable.” — Cheryl David

“Wow, Larry.  What are we doing?  Yeah, it doesn’t bother me.  We need to talk about Ted.  We need to talk about everything that just happened here.  What?  Oh… Ted is such a good person.  Now… what?  I think when I’m with you, it makes me feel… …better about myself?  Yes.  Yeah.  So, I’m not perfect, but at least I’m better than you.  Yeah.  Yeah?  We’ll see.  We’ll see.  You can’t stay here.  Yeah.  Yeah?  Oh, my God.  Larry, please.  Go.” — Cheryl David

“Can I come in?  Are you sure?  Okay.  Well… you told me, right?  I mean– did you powder down there?  I’m allergic.  Oh, my God.  Oh, my God.  Oh!  Call 9-1-1!  Do I?  Yeah, because of you.  You’re the one that put the talcum powder– uh, I’m allergic, and you– it’s because of you.  What do you mean what would you have done?  You’re such an asshole.  You are such… I mean, I’m, I’m fighting for my life, and this is what you’re… Susie?  I had an allergic reaction to shellfish.  Oh, no.  Hey.  Ted is in the garage.  He’s on his way up.  You– you can’t be here.  Because he just flew in from San Francisco and he texted me when he landed.  I…” — Cheryl David

Leon Black, Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO, Home Box Office Inc., WarnerMedia, Production Partners, J. B. SmooveLeon Black

“Fuckin’ love my color.  Fuckin’ mahogany.  Yeah.  Hell, yeah.  You happy with your color?  Huh?  No?  You’re like a… a porridge, a cream of wheat, a farina, that kind of shit.  Right.  Right, right.  Fuckin’ right.  I’m like a fuckin’ Yoo-hoo.  I shake that motherfucker up.  I’m shakin’ it up.  Fuckin’ good color.  Shit.  Yeah.  Somewhere between–” — Leon Black

“Right.  I use that shit all the time.  Not if you’re allergic to it.  My Auntie Rey put some of that shit on her, and went into anaphylactic shock.  Yeah.  Started shakin’ and shit.  Took her to the ER.  Man, they had to pump her stomach for nothing.  Yeah, man.  Look at this guy in the MAGA hat.  You fuckin’ don’t.  You know what I noticed?  No one ever wears those hats on backwards.  I mean, if you’re gonna get your ass kicked, you want to see it coming.  Yeah.  Sure.  Okay.  Get a little latte.  Leon.  Let me get a latte.  Hey, you got any Danishes?  You’re fuckin’ up.” — Leon Black

“Wow.  Wow.  I got an uncle with a wobbly leg.  I can’t stand that motherfucker.  Leaning on shit all the time.  It’s cold.  Hey, man.  Look, we don’t wanna be fuckin’ haters right now, but this shit is cold.  Hey.  Larry might be one or two of these things, but not all three.” — Leon Black

“Ha-ha!  Where the fuck you been at?  Fuck yeah, I am.  That party was over a long time ago.  Yeah.  This right here– this right here?  It’s called tappin’ hours.  This is the hours when people are tappin’ ass.  Old white men should not be out this fuckin’ late.  There’s no late night yacht club, or late night garage sales and shit like that.  You out here fuckin’.  I come home and spread the fuckin’ news.  Who the fuck you tappin’?” — Leon Black

“Ha-ha!  Fuckin’ my movie up.  What you want?  What you got goin’ on?  Fuck!  Who you tappin’?  What?  My man Larry David re-tappin’ that ass!” — Leon Black

Jeff Green, Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO, Home Box Office Inc., WarnerMedia, Production Partners, Jeff GarlinJeff Green

“How about that?  That’s a friend.  He’s boycotting.  That’s a big move, boycott.  I’m the host of the party.  Yes, I’m not Harvey Weinstein.  Okay.  All the time, women, men– doesn’t matter.  And suddenly, I’m this guy.  Unbelievable.  Oh… they go fast.  I don’t care how foo-foo the other items are, and people love ’em, pigs in a blanket.  Okay.  Bravo!  Bravo!  Cheryl and Larry.  Cheryl and Larry.  Fantastic.  Thank you all for coming.  Thanks for coming.” — Jeff Green

“You couldn’t do the Big Goodbye?  Ah!  You know what I’ll do?  I’ll call you in the middle of lunch.  Say it’s an emergency and you gotta go.  Oh, boy.  That guy’s relentless.  There’s a lot of implications.  A lot of implications.  Sure, I won’t.  I’ll eat whatever the fuck I want.  Hey.  Did you sleep with Cheryl?  You did?  Ah.  I think it’s great.  Yes.  Wha– what are you hoping to get out of it, though?  Hmm.  We on for golf Saturday?  I’m not playing with him.  He’s a Trump supporter.  Never play with a Trump supporter.  See him around town with that hat.  ‘Make America Great Again.’  I don’t need that crap.  He just– he makes me want top not be anywhere near him.  I don’t know.  You can check with Carl.  See if he wants to play.” — Jeff Green

“Larry?  Okay.  What’s with the robe?  Disgusting.  What the fuck is going on with you?  You’re wearing a MAGA hat at a sushi restaurant?  Is that true?  What, are you pro-Trump?  Mm.  I’m not surprised.  Yeah, ’cause no one’s gonna wanna be anywhere near you.” — Jeff Green

Susie Green, Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO, Home Box Office Inc., WarnerMedia, Production Partners, Susie EssmanSusie Green

“Larry, I am extremely displeased with your behavior.  Yeah, yeah.  You’re funny.  Like you know anything about fashion.  This hat is very similar to the one that Kate Middleton wore.  Okay?  You don’t know shit.  Yeah.  Yeah, fine.  You act ridiculous.  Why are you harassing my friend Randi at the gym?  You don’t know anything about fetuses.  Why not?  Why not?  It’s not your job to mansplain to Randi!  Jeff, there’s people I want you to meet.  I love that bit.  Always loved that bit.  Thank you for coming.” –Susie Green

“Hey, Lar, that was some party last night, huh?  You had a good time?  Yeah.  So you drove Cheryl home?  That was very nice of you.  Considering Ted’s out of town– yeah.  So, what, did you just drop her off, or– hmm.  Mm-hmm.  No, no, no.  You know, can a person not just ask a, a normal question?  You know, you two are something.  You two make crap up– don’t eat all the leftovers.  We need them for dinner.” –Susie Green

“What are you doing here?  Randi had contractions, and… she’s walking around the halls trying to induce, ’cause nothing’s happening, so I thought I’d come and keep her company.  Yeah.  Cheryl, what happened?  Okay.  I knew it.  I knew something was going on with you two.  I could smell it.  That night at our house.  The ventriloquist.  He drove you home.  Something’s been going on here.  I knew it.  I knew it!  You better leave.  You better leave, Larry.  Because he’s her significant other, and you’re her significant nothing!  Go!” –Susie Green

Ted Danson, Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO, Home Box Office Inc., WarnerMedia, Production Partners, Ted DansonTed Danson

“Well, the last one stunk.  Oh!  I wouldn’t.  She’s got a cold.  You were very funny.  I’m sorry, but I gotta catch my plane.  Actually, you know what, I better not,  I don’t wanna catch a cold.  I’m sorry.  Yeah.  I’ll call you when I land.  Thank you, guys.  That was a great evening.” — Ted Danson

Richard Lewis, Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO, Home Box Office Inc., WarnerMedia, Production Partners, Richard LewisRichard Lewis

“What?  you know, I’ll tell you something.  I love coffee, and I love his coffee, but you’re one of my old– you are my oldest friend.  I’m gonna boycott that place.  I’m boycotting.  I’m boycotting Mocha Joe.  You can’t do that to my friend.  We were in the same hospital together.  He can’t fuck with my friend.  I’m gonna get some coffee.  Isn’t it almost a month already?  Ah, look, well, they have nothing to say, these people.  How do you know it’s a happy new year, anyway?  What?  Shit.  That’s Rosen– Phil Rosenthal.  He just talks about his shows all the time.  His own show, and how about– Romano is on 500 times a day.  Oh, geez, with all the chaos in the world, in third-world countries, feed him?  It should be called Phil Feeds Everybody.  What’s that?  It’s the greatest movie in history.  I’ve been doing it for years, since you taught me.  Of course.  Bye!  Goodbye and god luck to you and your family.  It’s genius.” — Richard Lewis

“♪ Now, now… ♪ I want my coffee and my Danish right now, now, now ♪.  What do you mean what am I doin’ here?  You come here.  No, you come.  I’m not leaving.  You come.  You come.  You come.  I am boycotting this place.  I told you, for the rest of my dying days, I will never come to this place with you.  Ever.  I said I was– what are you?  My Jewish puppet master?  I can do whatever the fuck I want alone, but with you, I will never come in here.  I swear on my life.  Are you done?  Who’s that?  Who?” — Richard Lewis

“This coffee, by the way, is unbelievable.  It’s fantastic.  It’s very hot.  Hey, don’t touch my– I don’t like– don’t touch it.  What the– hey, stop it!  What are you, a fuckin’ goose?  Who asked for a nose test?  I didn’t want a nose test!  What, are you outta your mind?  Yes, he’s bothering me.  Yeah, really.  Hey, Happy New Year, man.” — Richard Lewis

Phil Rosenthal, Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO, Home Box Office Inc., WarnerMedia, Production Partners, Phil RosenthalPhil Rosenthal

“Hey, Larry!  Hey!  How you been?  Yeah, great to see you.  You giving me The Big Goodbye?  Big Goodbye.  Where you avoid me all night, and then you think you can cure it by having a Big Goodbye.  I know.  I’ve been around.  It seems like a Big Goodbye.  Yeah?  Have lunch with me Wednesday.  We have a lot to talk about.  Listen, we’re doing Raymond in Portugal.  Yeah.  Everybody Loves Joam.  It’s fantastic.  I get to go.  And then I have the whole Somebody Feed Phil show.  I want you to do my show.  I want to go to Ethiopia with you.  Ethiopia’s great.  Sure, you eat with your hands.  It’s fantastic.  Everybody shares, and, and the thing– no?  All right.  You know what?  We’ll start lunch Wednesday.  We’ll see where it goes.  Say yes to me and you can go.  Okay.” — Phil Rosenthal

“Oh, hello, there.  Hi.  I’m Phil Rosenthal.  I have a twelve o’clock.  Yes.  Right this way.  Very impressive.  Yeah, yeah, it’s great.  It’s big portions on the food and everything.  It’s really… a fantastic place.  Um… yeah, actually, I heard that we have some budget cuts, and Ethiopia’s a little… ex-expensive to shoot in.  Oh, look.  I’m getting a thing.  Oh, yeah.  Oh, look at that.  Um, uh… my son’s flight, uh, got in early.  And I gotta get him.  I gotta go get him.  Yeah, no, really.  He needs to see me because he has a little anxiety.  No, no.  We’ll, we’ll, we’ll… we’ll… something.” — Phil Rosenthal

Randi, Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO, Home Box Office Inc., WarnerMedia, Production Partners, Lennon ParhamRandi

“Hey.  Larry.  You got it.  I’m a friend of Susie’s.  Happy New Year.  Why?  It just happened a couple of weeks ago, right?  Three days?  I’m having a pretty good day.  Yeah, I’m about eight months.  What would you suggest?  Yeah, I’m… my husband is African-American, so I’m not sure that would, I don’t know, gel.  Do I like saying that he’s African-American?  Does it change your opinion of me?  Okay.  What?  I’m… I’m working out.  Yeah.  Uh, yes, I can.  I was advised by my midwife that I should continue to work out.  Oh, I don’t, uh, want to get into it with you, but, um… my fetus, my problem, okay?  Happy New Year.” — Randi

“God!  Larry!  Are you fucking kidding me, you piece of shit?  Okay, if anything happens to this baby, it’s gonna be your fault.” — Randi

Mocha Joe, Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO, Home Box Office Inc., WarnerMedia, Production Partners, Saverio GuerraMocha Joe

“Thank you so much.  I appreciate it.  Have a great day.  Whoa!  Blast from the past.  Larry David.  Wow.  Long time, no see, man.  What are you doin’ here?  What’s your name?  Leon.  Nice to meet you.  Do you believe it?  Huh?  What can I get you guys?  Yeah.  Right there.  They’re beautiful.  Cup of coffee and a scone.  What about you, Leon?  All right.  one scone, a coffee, a latte.  That’s $11.50.  Oh, thanks for the top.  Appreciate it.  A latte and a coffee, please.  Thank you.  What, the scone?  Well, not really.  It’s supposed to be fresh.  Well, that’s a fresh scone.  Oh, I know what a scone is.  Yeah.  You want the scone, or not?  So you’re gonna keep the scone?  Enjoy the scone, Larry.  Uh, no.  Next.  Yeah?  Yeah?  Yeah, well, stop moving it.  Put your foot on it, like everybody else does.  yeah, that’s how you hold it down.  The floors are wobbly.  Yeah.  Hmm.  Yeah.  What?  Whoa, whoa.  Wait a second.  That coffee is not cold.  Your coffee’s hot, right?  No.  No.  ‘Cause that’s a hot cup of coffee.  It was hot when I gave it to you– it’s a hot cup of coffee.  It was hot when I gave it to you.  Why would you stick your nose– that doesn’t prove anything except… …that you’re an old, bald nut!  You heard me.  Now get out, you old, bald fuck!  Yeah.  Yeah, good,  Get out.  Happy New Year, Larry.” — Mocha Joe

“What the hell is going on here?  Is he bothering you, Mr. Lewis?  You know what, Larry?  Get out.  This is what it’s come to.  You’re banned.  For life.  I never wanna see you in here again.  Yeah.  You’re banned.  Banned!  Get out!  Happy New Year, Larry.” — Mocha Joe

“What are you doin’ here, Larry?  I thought I told you to get out and not come back.  Knock yourself out.  I welcome the competition.  I’m not afraid of you.  You don’t have the beans.  I’m the only guy in Los Angeles who has these beans.  Oh, you won’t find better beans than my beans.  No better beans, Larry.  Mm-hmm, good luck.  See ya, Larry.  What?” — Mocha Joe

Alice, Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO, Home Box Office Inc., WarnerMedia, Production Partners, Megan FergusonAlice

“Morning, Larry.  How are you?  Bogey!  Oh, I just got that bowl from the kitchen.  I thought that was an office bowl.  I mean I wash it at the end of the day with soap, and then I dry it, and– uh, I’ve got some mail for you.  And there’s some other stuff.  Yeah.  Relatively.  Oh, well, it’s kind of personal.  I don’t– I don’t share it with everybody.  Okay, okay.  I got the tattoo because of an event in my life, and it means something special to me.  It’s just for me.  I have something from the business manager that you need to sign.  Uh, it’s just…  there’s an initial, and a date, and I think three signatures.  Oh, what are you doing?  That’s my shirt.  You can’t clean your glasses with a shirt that I’m wearing while I’m wearing it.  It’s inappropriate.  It’s crossing a boundary.  No good.” — Alice

“Hello, Larry David’s office.  Yes, may I ask what this is regarding?  Oh, my gosh.  I’m so sorry.  What– what happened?  You know he did something like that to me, too?  Yeah.  Everything was fine.  And one day he… asked about a tattoo I have on my arm, and I wouldn’t tell him what it meant, and then he got obsessive about it.  And why did I have it on my arm, and why didn’t I have it on my butt, somewhere private.  Oh, yeah.  And that’s just the beginning.  And he grabbed my shirt to wipe his glasses.  hold on.  I have to shut the door.” — Alice

“What did you say?  Why are you wearing a bath robe?  And that hat!  Oh, my God!  You’re friends with that monster?  No!  No, no, no, no, no!  I’m getting a lawyer!” — Alice


“Hi.  Oh, yes.  Mr. David’s already here.  Yes.  Right this way.  He was early.  Enjoy.” — Hostess

Party Guest

“Oh, my God.  Who invited you?  You pig.  Oh, my God.  Oh, I’m so– oh, my God!  I’m so sorry.  I’m sorry.  Thank you.  I’m sorry.  He looks like Harvey Weinstein.  He looks just like him.” — Party Guest

First Female Party Guest, Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO, Home Box Office Inc., WarnerMedia, Production Partners, Megan GranoParty Guest 2

“No, uh, Nancy, that is not Harvey Weinstein.  I’m so sorry, Jeff.  My sister’s from out of town.  I’m  just, I’m really sorry.” — Party Guest 2

Party Guest 3

“Larry, Happy New Year.”

Party Crowd


Valerie Ashburn, Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO, Home Box Office Inc., WarnerMedia, Production Partners, Briga HeelanParty Caterer (Valerie Ashburn)

“Sir, I need you to get out of here.  I need you to leave this room ’cause you’ve been ogling me… the entire night.  Am I– oh, my God.  Yeah.  Not the first time this has happened.” — Valerie Ashburn

“Hi, my name is Valerie Ashburn.  I’d like to speak to Larry David.  Sure.  This is regarding him sexually assaulting me at a party.  I was catering at a party.  Larry was molesting me with his eyes the entire night.  And then when I went into a pantry, he followed me in, cornered me, and he grabbed my breast.  I was lucky to get out of there.  No.  Oh, my God.  Okay.  So this is a pattern.” — Valerie Ashburn


“What happened?  Did she ingest anything else?”

Doctor 2

“Just slow down!”

Hospital Orderly

“Excuse me, sir!”

Sushi Joint Patron

“All right.  Two seats at the sushi bar.  You know what?  Actually, I think we’d prefer to sit at a table, please.”

Sushi Chef


Motorcyclist, Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO, Home Box Office Inc., WarnerMedia, Production Partners, Dave ReavesMotorcyclist

“Hey!  What the fuck are you doing?  Motherfucker!  What the fuck?  What are you trying to do, man?  What the fuck are you doing?  You little fucker!  What the fuck?  I ought to rip you outta that fuckin’ car!  You little shit.  Oh.  Just be more careful next time, okay?”

Commercial Realtor

“It’s all yours.”


“Two medium cappuccinos.”

Gym Guy

“You gotta stay dry.  Happy New Year!”

Mocha Joe Customer

“Thank you.”

Pedestrian 1

“What?  Wait, excuse me?”

Pedestrian 2

“What the– what the fuck?”


Roger Swindell

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It’s magnificent. It’s a work of art.

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Cheryl, JB, and Susie tell all.

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Oy is right. January 19 at 10:30PM on @HBO.

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Trick or treat.

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New season. Same Leon.

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“I’m not in the mood, Ted.” 🍰

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Next Sunday. Get ex-cited.

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Days till Richard Lewis: 5

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Where there’s Larry, there’s Jeff.

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