Venerable Combatants

The History Channel‘s war-torn period drama #Vikings premieres the second-half of its fourth-season on Wednesday.

#Vikings season 5 has been confirmed.

Rottentomatoes: 93%

Metacritic: 71

IMDb: 8.6

Emmys: 8 nominations

***SPOILERS AHEAD***



Ragnar Lothbrok, The History Channel, Vikings

Ragnar Lothbrok

Viking chieftain Ragnar Lothbrok and his brother Rollo grow tired of the same old summer raids to the east, of Baltic tribesmen in Russia and Finland.

Ragnar happens upon a sunboard and sunstone, and him and his crew end up pillaging a small village off the coast of Great Britain in the kingdom of Northumbria, to the west.  These exploits would become known as the Lindisfarne raids of 793.

Ragnar’s lord Earl Haraldson intercepts the load but lets Ragnar’s crew keep one item each.  He chooses a captive priest, Ethelstan.

Ethelstan informs Ragnar of many more potential plunders to be had in similarly effortless fashions and he acquires the green-light to go back on this highly cost-effective and lucrative excursion.

Rag has some disagreements with the Earl and is forced to flee from his home, wounded.  He holes up at a Floki residence nearby and licks his wounds, and then challenges the Earl in singular hand-to-hand combat and prevails, usurping his title, as is the custom.

Ragnar is pitted against his brother Rollo via a villain Jarl Borg.  This conflict resolves and a trifecta (Lothbrok, Borg, Horik) of Swedish / DanishScandinavian noblemen collude on raiding the shores of Great Britain for more easy plunders.

#Vikings, The History Channel

#Vikings, The History Channel

Rag’s paramour Princess Aslaug whom he impregnated sojourns to his native Kattegat and blows up his spot, as a result Lagertha leaves.

Borg is disincluded in the raids and leaves, resentful.  As a result he assails Kattegat.  In dire straits, Rag is bailed out militarily by Lagertha and his son Björn.

Horik’s forces are thinned by those of a British King Ecbert in Wessex, whom they now seek revenge upon.  They reassimilate with Jarl Borg, as they need his ships, and head back west as the original trifecta.

They clash forces with Ecbert, sustain heavy losses and a defeat, and return home.  King Horik antagonizes Ragnar and is slain as a result, making Ragnar King of Denmark.

King Ragnar strikes a seemingly symbiotic agreement with King Ecbert, of Wessex that involves colonization and fighting as mercenaries for the kingdom of Mercia.

Ragnar and his Vassals contend for the restoration of the throne of Mercia for princess Kwenthrith, and lose many men, but their British settlement is destroyed anyway.

A reformed contingent attempts to invade Paris unsuccessfully.  They stick around however, and persevere, breaching the cities gates.  The pagans negotiate a large monetary settlement.

Ragnar has himself baptized by a French priest so he can hope to join his perished friend Ethelstan in the afterlife.  This causes brief dissension among the Norsemen ranks.

Ragnar takes to opium via his oriental paramour, whom he slays, and his second attempt to invade Paris is unsuccessful, he subsequently abandons his people in disarray.

Six years later he returns to Kattegat, jeers a crowd, and challenges some locals to his Danish crown, the old-fashioned way, in personal hand-to-hand combat.


Ragnar Lothbrok, The History Channel, Vikings

Ragnar Lothbrok, The History Channel, Vikings

Ragnar Lothbrok, The History Channel, Vikings

Ragnar Lothbrok, The History Channel, Vikings

“Thank you, brother.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Watch.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“I’m taking Bjorn to the thing tomorrow.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“He’s twelve years old.  He’ll need a silk ribbon, Lagertha.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“You’re a handsome boy.  Funny ears, though.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“I can do without it for a few days.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“I always dream of you.  Last night, I dreamt you were feeding me blood pudding.  It means your giving me your heart.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Get your dog, boy.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“The Earl will deal with some criminal offences and then, we’ll discuss the summer raids.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1The Earl decides.  He owns the ships.  He’ll send us to the east, as always, to the Baltic lands.  But I want to know what is to the West – what cities and Gods are over there.  See, I’m not satisfied… with this.  Odin gave his eye to acquire knowledge, but I would give far more.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

“I went to confess my love to her but I was set upon by a bear and an enormous hound who guarded her home.  I killed the bear with my spear and I managed to strange the hound with my bare hands.  And that is how I gained her hand in marriage.  Did she tell you the same story?” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Are you ready to receive your arm right and become a man?  And what does a man do?” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“That’s right.  Could you look after our family?” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Say I wasn’t there.  I have a big decision to make.  It may change many things.  Now, go to sleep.  You have a big day tomorrow.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Why don’t you go lie down, hmm?” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Now, this candle is the sun.  Every day… the sun rises up into the sky until noon.  See how the shadow shortens.  At noon, it is at its shortest.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Didn’t I just tell you to listen!?  The day before sailing you mark a circle around the pointer where the shadow is at its shortest at noon.  The next day at sea you place the board back into water around noon and watch the shadow if the shadow only touches the circle…” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Yes.  and if it passes outside the circle, like this…” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Yes.  And what if it never reaches the circle?” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“That’s it!  Keep the noon shadow on the circle and your course will be true, west.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Using this.  Follow me outside.  They call it a sunstone.  Oh!  You see?  There is the sun.  Now we go west.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“You have to.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“He wants to die well, without fear, to atone for his sins.  You must watch, for his sake.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“He should not have done that.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“You hear that, boy?  This is how things are done around here.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“My lord.  We all want to feast, but we also want to know where we will be raiding this summer.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Every year we go to the same places!  But there is an alternative… if you choose.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Let me see.  It’s a fine ring.  Stay with your uncle.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Yes, lord.  Lord- I can’t be sure.  But I believe that- I understand.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“To talk to the Gods.  It’s what we do.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1I want to know what the Gods have in store.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

“I’m more interested in myself.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“To have this great future, must I challenge the law?” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“So I should take the laws of men into my own hands?  Answer me.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“You haven’t helped me at all, ancient one.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“We have someone special to visit.  His name is Floki.  Yes, only different.  He’s not a god.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Because he’s shy.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Floki is a boat-builder… among other things.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“So, what about our boat?” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“The hull is deeper.  How will my men set their oars?” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“And you think it could handle long sea voyages?  But will it be strong enough?” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“For the anchor.  It’s all I have left from last summer’s raids.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“I missed you.  Did anything happen while we were away?  Did you miss me?” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Is that what you want?  Hmm?  You want me to make you laugh?” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Let him stay awhile.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Good night, my children.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“It’s nearly ready.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1We are brothers.  You and I will always be equal.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

“I must go piss.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“I saw something.  A sign.  It made me certain we’re doing the right thing.  Good night, brother.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Set the sail.  Floki!  The sail!  No she bloody won’t!” — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1I’ll set the sail.  Shut up, man.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

“You have done well, my friend.  Although I knew I could trust you.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“You are here, firstly, because you have nothing better to do.  See, all you lot live idle and wasted lives.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“We have built a new boat.  And with this boat, for the first time, we can go west.  Across the great sea, to a place called England, where countless riches await us.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1We have discovered a way.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1Just stories.  All things begin and end as stories.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

“The Earl knows nothing about our new boat.  He knows nothing about the new way of navigating.  This is why he refuses to let us go west.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1We can offer you a chance to shine in battle and impress the Gods, and to bring back such plunder that you have never seen before.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Have you got the balls to join us?” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Prepare to leave in the next few weeks, and tell no one who doesn’t need to know.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“I already told you.  I don’t want you to come.  I need to leave the children and the farm in the hands of someone I trust.  What if the Earl finds out we have gone without his permission?  He might try and claim our family home.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“What if there is no west?  This is the most dangerous and stupid voyage ever.  What if we both die, hmm?  Then who would take care of the children – Rollo?!?” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“All right, all right.  You go.  You go and I shall stay here and look after the children.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1My love.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

“How could I forget?  You keep reminding me.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“We were just having an argument.  Back to bed!” — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1It’s a fine thing, when a little pig teaches the boar a lesson.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Where is my anchor?  It was promised for today.  Maybe your blacksmith is a liar.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“I still don’t see Knut.  That troubles me.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Storms coming.  Should we let down the sail?  Floki, should we let down the sail?” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“If anyone is mad, it is you.  Sit down.  And shut up.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“If the birds do not return, there is land.  But if they do… ” — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1They know we’re here.  No one throw their lives away unnecessarily.  Even to impress the Gods.  Stay close.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Perhaps they think their God protects them.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Of all the treasures I see in this place.  You chose to save this.  Why?” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“I forbid it.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1My lord, we were more fortunate than others.  We had Thor on our side.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

“My lord, me and Floki paid for the boat.  Surely we’re entitled to… some reward, and my crew…” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“I will take the priest for my slave.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1He was looking for an excuse to kill us.  Why would we go to Valhalla after such miserable and pointless deaths?  Brother, believe me, this is not the end, it’s just the beginning.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1We don’t like those in our house to go hungry or thirsty.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

“I am very curious about England.  Does it have one King who rules over the whole country?” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Then why is his kingdom so full of treasure?” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“I want to learn some of your language.  Will you teach me, priest?” — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1I find him very useful, as you will discover.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1I want to sail west again.  I have spoken at great lengths with my christian slave.  He is not a stupid person, however stupid his God is.  He has traveled a great deal, and he has told me that there are many countries to the west.  He has also told me about his England, about his kings and his customs.  He has informed me of a large village near to the temple that we raided before.  And in this town there are other temples, and surely other riches.  You see.  This town is clearly worth a visit.  Give us back our boat.  Let us go there and find out.  What do you have to lose?  Any plunder we take will be yours to do with as you please.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Yes, you could, my lord.  But why put yourself in danger?  Why not leave it to someone who has more… experience of this journey, and someone who is more expendable?” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“You will not regret this.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“I have the Earl’s permission to sail back to England.  I want to leave as soon as possible.  Tomorrow.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“I don’t regard him as a slave.  He’s a responsible person.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1We are northmen.  Yes, traders, yes.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

“We will come with you.  Don’t worry.  He doesn’t trust you.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1No.  We attack tomorrow.  It is a large town.  We have only a few men.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Then we attack tomorrow.  You will understand tomorrow.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Take care today.  Don’t take any foolish risks and don’t get separated from the others.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1Shield wall!Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Yes, he is happier than even we are, with our boat and… these goods.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“One day, he will.  If the Gods will it.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Sometimes your God sounds a lot like one of ours.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Why did the Gods keep me alive?  That is the question I keep asking myself.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“I can do nothing until I am well.  Where is the boat?  Floki can always build us another one.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1Our fates are already decided.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1He was also a great man and a warrior.  He earned his renown in this life, and now, in death, he deserves such a funeral.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1We can’t afford to lose half our men by being stupid and attacking.  We wait until the odds are in our favor.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Is this what you really want, brother?” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“No man can walk through life without things happening to him, Lagertha.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1I am weary and I am blood-sickened, and that is the truth.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

“We should not crash our dirty clothes in front of others.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“It’s not so easy, with your mother.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1As you all know it has taken a long time to prepare ourselves: to build our ships, and to replace the young men that we lost to the plague.  But now, now we are ready, and this summer we shall finally go west again.  We will return to England, for that land was so generous to us the last time.  But this time, we shall not go alone.  For King Horik and Jarl Borg have agreed to join us.  And perhaps we will not have to return so quickly, but stay in their land for awhile, explore it, maybe even winter there.  Who knows?  But, I tell you, these are interesting times.  The world is changing and we must change with it.  We must act together, for everyone’s sake.  And now that I have put your minds to rest, who is hungry?Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

“You chose to fight against me.  Tell me, why should I ever trust you again?  Shouldn’t you be asking for forgiveness after everything you have done?” — Ragnar Lothbrok

“You have suffered.  But many people suffered more because of what you did.  Let me think on it.  And I’ll give you my decision.  You broke my heart.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1You did not hesitate today.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1I am a farmer and the son of a farmer.  This is what I understand.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

“The Gods are having a good time with me, today.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1We live to fight another day.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1Power is always dangerous.  It attracts the worst.  And corrupts the best.  I never asked for power.  Power is only given to those who are prepared to lower themselves to pick it up.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

“We are all fated to die on a certain day, yes?  But it is our own choice to do as we please until that day comes.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1We fight.  That is how we win.  And that is how we die.  Do you understand?Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

“Forgive me, my friend, not for what I have done.  But for what I am about to do.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1There will come a time when you will be responsible for our people. For now.  But when your time comes,  you must lead with your head, not with your heart.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1In my world, I am constantly torn between killing myself, or everyone around me.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

“I am King.  Anything is possible.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1One of us will die today.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

“It appears my return is not welcome.  You’ve obviously all made your mind up about me.  I cannot blame you for that.  Well, boys, who is going to do it, then?  Who’s going to kill me?  Well, I don’t mind.  Go ahead.  Please.” — Ragnar Lothbrok

Quote1I dare you.  Put me out of my misery.Quote2 — Ragnar Lothbrok

Visceral, impulsive, grounded, Ragnar Lothbrok is an Artisan.

 

Lagertha Ingstad, The History Channel, Vikings

Lagertha Ingstad

Lagertha Ingstad is the first wife of Ragnar Lothbrok.  She is a weathered warrior and capable shield-maiden.

Lagertha slays her husband and becomes Earl of Ingstad.


Lagertha Ingstad, The History Channel, Vikings“Here’s one.  Come on.  Let’s go home.” — Lagertha Ingstad

“What are you two doing?” — Lagertha Ingstad

“Not yet.  He’s not old enough.  Take him next year.  Next year is soon enough.” — Lagertha Ingstad

“Don’t sleep with lots of women in Kattegat.” — Lagertha Ingstad

Quote1Is that another way of saying you love me?Quote2 — Lagertha Ingstad

“What does that mean?” — Lagertha Ingstad

“Good.  Like this, nice and tight… and on three.  One, two, three.  Very good, Gyda.” — Lagertha Ingstad

“Gyda, feed the goats.” — Lagertha Ingstad

“What do you want?  If you’re thirsty, I will give you a drink.  If you’re hungry, I will feed you.  Otherwise, you must go.” — Lagertha Ingstad

Quote1You couldn’t kill me if you tried for a hundred years.Quote2 — Lagertha Ingstad

“I ached with love longing.  My belly was empty of laughter.” — Lagertha Ingstad

“I don’t want to laugh now.  I want to ride you like a bull.  Like a wild bull.” — Lagertha Ingstad

“Was?  Come on, children.  To bed.  Let’s leave the men.” — Lagertha Ingstad

“To bed!  Say good night.” — Lagertha Ingstad

“Don’t talk like that.” — Lagertha Ingstad

“That’s too bad.” — Lagertha Ingstad

“No.  I would never insult you.  You’re too great a warrior… but perhaps not so great a man.” — Lagertha Ingstad

“So when do we sail?” — Lagertha Ingstad

“This was going to be the most exciting voyage of our lives.  To go west!  I dreamed of it many times, and in my dreams we are always together.” — Lagertha Ingstad

“You have no right to say that!” — Lagertha Ingstad

“Never mind that.  Defend yourself.  How dare you?  Am I not good enough for you?  Am I not strong enough for you?  Don’t you remember?  I saved your life.” — Lagertha Ingstad

“I’m so mad at you right now!” — Lagertha Ingstad

“The great sea is held in place by Jomungand, the serpent, whose giant body encircles it and who keeps his tail in his mouth to complete the circle and stop the waves breaking loose.  But one day, the god Thor, son of Earth, was fishing in the sea for the serpent, using a bull’s head for bait.  Jormungand reared up and the waves pummeled the shore as he twisted and writhed in a fury.  They were well matched, serpent and god, in that furious fight.  The seas boiled around them, but then the hook became dislodged, and the serpent slithered free, and sank again, so quickly, beneath the waves.  And soon, the sea was calm, once more, as if nothing had disturbed it.” — Lagertha Ingstad

Quote1We all wish you success.  We will sacrifice to Odin.Quote2 — Lagertha Ingstad

Quote1But the farm, the children.Quote2 — Lagertha Ingstad

“I was just going to say the same thing to you, my love.” — Lagertha Ingstad

“Well, what are you waiting for?” — Lagertha Ingstad

“I killed him.” — Lagertha Ingstad

“They also slaughtered our livestock.  We have nothing left.” — Lagertha Ingstad

Quote1We also need to eat.  And we are already eating some of your winter supplies, Floki.  And I am ashamed.Quote2 — Lagertha Ingstad

“Never see her again.  Never again.” — Lagertha Ingstad

Quote1You insult and humiliate me I have no choice but to leave you.Quote2 — Lagertha Ingstad

Quote1Hello, Ragnar.  I have heard of your troubles.  I have brought these warriors to help you.Quote2 — Lagertha Ingstad

Quote1Then we too, thank the Gods.Quote2 — Lagertha Ingstad

“And sacrifice to Freyr to ensure its success.” — Lagertha Ingstad

“What am I supposed to do with that knowledge?” — Lagertha Ingstad

Quote1You’re a man now Björn, act like one.Quote2 — Lagertha Ingstad

Fierce, resilient, compassionate, and nurturing Lagertha Inglestad is an Idealist.


Rollo Lothbrok, The History Channel, Vikings

Rollo Lothrbrok

Rollo Lothbrok takes up in Paris after the invasion with a nobleman’s title, estates, and a princess bride.

His naval and military intelligence serve as paramount in quelling Ragnar’s second invasion of the city.


Rollo Lothbrok, The History Channel, Vikings

“So, here you are, brother.” — Rollo Lothbrok

“By frey and all the Gods how you’ve grown.” — Rollo Lothbrok

“Are you here for the thing?  You’re a real man now.” — Rollo Lothbrok

“Come, let’s get a drink.” — Rollo Lothbrok

“Looking a little pale, Bjorn.” — Rollo Lothbrok

“So where do you think the Earl is going to send us this year?  Those bastards to the east are as poor as we are.” — Rollo Lothbrok

Quote1Your course remains true?Quote2 — Rollo Lothbrok

“Then you have drifted and you must steer further south.” — Rollo Lothbrok

“Then you are too far south and must steer more to the north.” — Rollo Lothbrok

“But what if there is no sun, hmm?  How can the board help you then?  How could you find your way?” — Rollo Lothbrok

Quote1It’s his only hope of reaching Valhalla.Quote2 — Rollo Lothbrok

“Someone told me he wanted that land for himself.  And he knew Trygvasson had the best claim to it, but refused to sell it.” — Rollo Lothbrok

“No.  Tell us.  We want to know.  We have a right to know.” — Rollo Lothbrok

“Hello, young Bjorn.  Where are your parents?” — Rollo Lothbrok

“So, Gyda, is your mother teaching you how to use a shield?  Your mother was a famous shield-maiden.  Is a famous shield-maiden.” — Rollo Lothbrok

“Tell me your news.  What about the boat?” — Rollo Lothbrok

Quote1I won’t go under your command.  I won’t go unless we’re all equal.Quote2 — Rollo Lothbrok

Quote1Then we must find a crew.  Not many men will go against the wishes of Haraldson.  Many will be afraid, some may even go to him and betray us.Quote2 — Rollo Lothbrok

“What did you see?” — Rollo Lothbrok

“Listen to him.” — Rollo Lothbrok

Quote1Yes, we do.  And I have Ragnar’s word that we will all be equal and share equally the spoils of our raid.Quote2 — Rollo Lothbrok

Quote1May the Gods bless us with powerful winds and calm seas.Quote2 — Rollo Lothbrok

“Arne, get to work.” — Rollo Lothbrok

“How can you forbid it, little brother.  We are equals, and I say he dies.  This is what we care for your God.” — Rollo Lothbrok

Quote1Why did you give away everything so easily?  We wasted our time.  I never should have believed in you.Quote2 — Rollo Lothbrok

“Well… at least we didn’t give everything away so easily.” — Rollo Lothbrok

Quote1You have your Odin and I have mine.Quote2 — Rollo Lothbrok

Quote1Answer me this, Knut.  Are you really with us?  Understand this!  A war band lives… and dies together.  If you cannot trust the men to either side of you, or in front of you, you are already a dead man.Quote2 — Rollo Lothbrok

Quote1It’s a trap.  Don’t listen.  They’ll kill us.Quote2 — Rollo Lothbrok

“They’re preparing some kind of ambush.  Let’s kill them and be done with it.” — Rollo Lothbrok

Quote1Then surprise is our biggest advantage.Quote2 — Rollo Lothbrok

Quote1Don’t grieve him.  Don’t pity him.  Guess where he is now?  The Valkyries are taking him home to Valhalla.  Right at this moment he is…  he is drinking ale with the Gods.Quote2 — Rollo Lothbrok

Quote1Nevertheless, I will swear, brother.  I swear to be true to you, your wife and your family… as long as your good fortune holds.Quote2 — Rollo Lothbrok

“How will we ever be equal now, my brother?” — Rollo Lothbrok

Quote1I ask only for the opportunity to regain your respect, to fight beside you again in battle.  I have nothing.Quote2 — Rollo Lothbrok

Quote1Tell him I shall answer him in blood.Quote2 — Rollo Lothbrok

Quote1Carrying around my heavy heart, cursing the Gods, cursing myself, and then drinking ale until I almost forgot everything.Quote2 — Rollo Lothbrok

“I accept your judgement.” — Rollo Lothbrok

“Be strong.  Be a man.  Coax her back from Valhalla.  But make it worth her while, for she is already at the gates.” — Rollo Lothbrok

Quote1The Gods are mistaken.Quote2 — Rollo Lothbrok

Undaunted, durable, vigorous, and bullheaded Rollo Lothbrok is a Guardian.


Flóke Vilgerðarson, The History Channel, VikingsFlóke Vilgerðarson

Flóke Vilgerðarson is a shipwright of great skill, who designs and builds the longship that carries the vikings across the North Sea to Great Britain.

Flóke slays Ethelstan and is arrested for his murder.  He is released after Ragnar has a vision of Ethelstan pleading for mercy.

Flóke Vilgerðarson, The History Channel, Vikings

“Hello.  How are you?” — Flóke Vilgerðarson

“Let me see.  Ah!  You have your father’s eyes… unfortunately.” — Flóke Vilgerðarson

“It means he will be like you.  And therefore he will want to do better than you, and you will hate him for it.” — Flóke Vilgerðarson

“Oh, it’s the same with trees.  I can tell which trees make the best planks just by looking at them.  I can look inside the tree.” — Flóke Vilgerðarson

“This is one.  Inside this tree are two almost perfect planks.  They will bend, then curve, like a woman’s body from the thighs to the back.  When I split this tree I will find them.  Do you think I’m joking?  I joke about many things, son of Ragnar, but never about ship-building.  Do you imagine ships are just dead things?” — Flóke Vilgerðarson

“It will be lighter, and carry a bigger sail.  The construction is different.  It’s built with a strong central plank.  The two strales above it are nailed directly onto the knees of the frame.  But the ones below- Look! -are cleated and lashed onto the frames, not nailed, so they can move in relation to each other.  This means the boat won’t butt against the waves like a goat, but move over them like a ripple.” — Flóke Vilgerðarson

“I will cut them into the sheerstrakes, and the ports can be closed when the boat is at sea.” — Flóke Vilgerðarson

Quote1That’s why I’m building it.Quote2 — Flóke Vilgerðarson

Quote1We won’t know until we try.Quote2 — Flóke Vilgerðarson

Quote1Don’t worry.  We’ll soon be as rich as dwarves!Quote2 — Flóke Vilgerðarson

Quote1She’ll sink.  I shouldn’t have pretended to build such a boat.   It’s beyond my humble capabilities.Quote2 — Flóke Vilgerðarson

Quote1I’m sorry Ragnar.  I’ve wasted all your money.  It was all a joke.Quote2 — Flóke Vilgerðarson

“Now it runs on its cool keel.  Oh, it’s beautiful.  Why didn’t you believe me?  I told you I could do it.  Now it’s all up to you, Ragnar Lothbrok.” — Flóke Vilgerðarson

“I don’t think so.  This hair is from his daughter’s head.  I promised him that if he went to Earl Haraldson I would find a way to kill her.” — Flóke Vilgerðarson

“Well, that’s because he isn’t here.  He hasn’t sent word either.” — Flóke Vilgerðarson

Quote1We live in a sea of troubles.  But look, some are ended.Quote2 — Flóke Vilgerðarson

“Here, this is yours.  And this is mine.” — Flóke Vilgerðarson

“Yes, we have to take the sail down, and then we must row.  If we are not moving forward, then we will be soaked by the waves and sink.” — Flóke Vilgerðarson

Quote1You are alive.  Ragnar is alive.  Your children are alive.  You have everything left.Quote2 — Flóke Vilgerðarson

“The Gods will provide.” — Flóke Vilgerðarson

“Just eat your soup, priest.” — Flóke Vilgerðarson

Quote1Well, I’ve been busy like a dwarf, building your new boats Ragnar Lothbrok, even in the ice and the snow.  The boats are nearly finished.  I think we all want to know where we’ll be raiding this summer.Quote2 — Flóke Vilgerðarson

Quote1They worship a false God.  They’re fleas and vermin.Quote2 — Flóke Vilgerðarson

“The Gods made everyone swear an oath that he would be safe.  Nothing could injure Odin’s favourite son.  Everyone rejoiced that it was impossible to harm Balder.  All except Loki.  The sly one watched with distaste and impatience.  And it sickened him to see how Balder was immune from all sorts of attacks.” — Flóke Vilgerðarson

Quote1I came to talk to the Gods.  They are angry, Rollo.  And I’m so afraid that we must one day choose between them and your brother.Quote2 — Flóke Vilgerðarson

Quote1The Gods are never mistaken.Quote2 — Flóke Vilgerðarson

“Who asked you, priest?” — Flóke Vilgerðarson

“Are you joking?  The lure of an imaginary land.  Traveling somewhere that doesn’t exist.  Of course I’m coming.” — Flóke Vilgerðarson

Inventive, engineering, interested chiefly in sciences and technology Flóke Vilgerðarson is a Rational.


Bjorn Ironside, The History Channel, VikingsBjörn Ironside

Björn Ironside is Ragnar’s first born son, he takes a trip out into the wilderness to see if he can hack it and become a man.

While on this journey of self-discovery he is braced by a would-be-assassin, sent by parties attempting to claim vengeance for King Horik.  Björn literally guts him.

Björn and family friend Floki head for the Mediterranean Sea.


“What will happen at the thing?” — Björn Ironside

“And will Earl Haraldson let you?” — Björn Ironside

“Yes.  He fights.  He looks after his family.” — Björn Ironside

“What do you mean?  You look after us.” — Björn Ironside

“Hello, Rollo.” — Björn Ironside

“Why did he do that?” — Björn Ironside

“Yes, lord.  Yes, lord.  Yes, lord.” — Björn Ironside

“Where are we going now?  I’m so tired.” — Björn Ironside

“Floki?  Like Loki the God?” — Björn Ironside

“Well.  Thank you, sir.” — Björn Ironside

“How can you tell that by just looking at my face?” — Björn Ironside

“They are having sex.” — Björn Ironside

“But I’m a man, I have a ring.” — Björn Ironside

“Stop!  Are you mad?  You could have killed each other!   Is that what you want?  Well, never argue like that again.” — Björn Ironside

“But who is to be in charge?  Father!  You cannot place a slave above me, your natural son.” — Björn Ironside

“You need a drink, priest.” — Björn Ironside

“We call her the angel of death.” — Björn Ironside

“Don’t argue, you two.” — Björn Ironside

“I choose my father.” — Björn Ironside

“You and I, father, are bound both by ties of memory and blood.” — Björn Ironside

“I think what happened in Paris finally broke him.  You can all say whatever you want but he was a human.  People started to talk as if he was a God.  He was not a god, he was a man!  A man with many dreams and many failings.  I’ve learned that in the years since he went away.  If I was him, I wouldn’t come back.  Despite all his failings, he’s still the greatest man in the world to me.” — Björn Ironside

“I learned from my father.  The only way to tell if something is real… … is to sail there.  I hope you’ll come with me Floki.” — Björn Ironside


Cattleman’s Cosmos

HBO sci-fi thriller series #Westworld premieres its eighth-episode tonight.

Westworld season 2 has been confirmed.

Rottentomatoes: 89%

Metacritic: 74

IMDb: 9.1

***SPOILERS AHEAD***



Continue reading Cattleman’s Cosmos

Costly Coronet

Netflix British-monarchy period drama The Crown premiered last friday and reportedly required a pretty penny($125m).

The Crown season 2 has been confirmed, as the series is expected to span six seasons total.

Rottentomatoes: 91%

Metacritic: 82

IMDb: 9.3

***SPOILERS AHEAD***



Continue reading Costly Coronet

Scholastic Manslaughter

ABC Network‘s criminal law drama How to Get Away with Murder dropped S3E7 this thursday.

HTGAWM season 4 has not been confirmed.

Rottentomatoes: 90%

Metacritic: 68

IMDb: 8.3

Emmys: 1 win 3 nominations

***SPOILERS AHEAD***



Continue reading Scholastic Manslaughter

Obsidian Reflector

Netflix‘s anthology sci-fi thriller Black Mirror dropped its third season last week and is essentially a modern rendition of The Twilight Zone.

Black Mirror season 4 has been confirmed.

Rottentomatoes: 96%

Metacritic: 82

IMDb: 8.8

***Spoilers Ahead***



Continue reading Obsidian Reflector

Gallivanting Immortals

AMCtv zombie-apocalypse drama The Walking Dead premieres it’s 7th season tonight.

The Walking Dead is based on the D.C. comic-book-series of the same name and has been renewed for an 8th season.

Rottentomatoes : 84%

Metacritic: 82

IMDb: 8.6

Emmys: 2 wins 15 nominations

***SPOILERS AHEAD***


Continue reading Gallivanting Immortals

Adamantine Enclosure

Netflix/Marvel superhero drama Luke Cage dropped its first season, the third piece of larger puzzle The Defenders.

The Defenders assembled for the first time last week at NYCC 2016.

Rottentomatoes: 96%

Metacritic: 79

IMDb: 8.2

***SPOILERS AHEAD***


Continue reading Adamantine Enclosure

Sans Repentance

Showtime trashy family comedy Shameless premiered it’s 7th season last week and the first episode is available for free on youtube here.

Shameless’ renewal status is in limbo pending ratings diametrics.

Rottentomatoes: 92%

Metacritic: 66

IMDb: 8.7

Emmys: 2 wins 10 nominations



Frank Gallagher, Showtime, Shameless

Frank Gallagher

Vernon Francis Gallagher is the father of six children and subsists in various parts of southside Chicago.

Frank is an unemployed booze-hound, and the son of Neville and Sarah Elizabeth Gallagher.

He married Monica Gallagher, with whom he has seven children (Fiona, Phillip, Carl, Debbie, Liam, Stella, Ben), and one, Ian, who was fathered by one of three of his brothers.

Frank is a rampant deadbeat alcoholic, drug addict, relentless drifter, and morally deficient freeloader, who siphons money out of his children in various ways to barely scrape out a living.

Frank Gallagher, Showtime, Shameless

His mother Margaret ‘Peggy’ Gallagher is an OG ex-con fresh out the joint.  Tragically she passes while on medical furlough.

Frank has a romance and lives with his kids’ neighbor Sheila Jackson, a borderline delusional housewife, who is afflicted with agoraphobia and cooks him free food.  She also makes him wear furry animal costumes during sexual encounters and sticks objects up his butt hole.

Frank spends the lion’s share of his time at The Alibi Room, a local bar.  Him and Sheils discontinue their romance temporarily, but remain friends.

Frank even helps his successor recovering sex-addict Jody Silverman acclimate himself to Sheila’s requests, while he lives at her home and eats her gourmet culinary exploits.  She kicks him out intermittently for the various atrocities he commits.

Mostly, he cares little for the welfare of his children unless it benefits him directly, but can display care and concern for them in varying circumstances.

Eventually his liver fails as the result of his chronic alcoholism.

He scouts his daughter Samantha for a liver transplant, whom he’s never met before, but she is not a match, and he needs $150k to perform the operation.

Sammi and Sheila buy an operation from an unlicensed Bangladeshi surgeon, who is actually a cab driver.  He and a few paid actors perform a song and dance, put Frank under, steal his kidney, and $26k in cash.

Miraculously, Frank survives, is bumped on the donor list, and is supplied a replacement liver.  Sheila marries him while incapacitated on his death bed, in order to legally adopt five Native American children.

The adoption doesn’t pan out.  Frank starts a ‘secret project’ brewing 10x strength beer in Sheila’s basement.

Frank’s beer project blows up Sheila’s house and she leaves, making him a transient once again.

During one of Frank’s many trips to the hospital, he is treated by doctor Bianca Samson.  She tells him she has advanced pancreatic cancer and she needs a drink.  They end up on vacation in Costa Rica.

With a terminal condition, Bianca walks naked into the ocean and passes.

Frank mourns Bianca with more booze.  The Gallagher house is sold, but Carl buys it back with drug money.  Frank is thrown off of a bridge by his entire family.

Frank Gallagher, Showtime, Shameless


Frank Gallagher, Showtime, Shameless

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series

3 nominations: 2014, 2015, 2016

“Nobody’s saying our neighborhood is the Garden of Eden.  Hell, some people say God avoids this place altogether, but it’s been a good home to us– to me and my kids, who I’m proud of, ’cause every single one of them reminds me a little bit of me.” — Frank Gallagher

“Fiona, my rock, huge help.  Has all the best qualities of her mother, except she’s not a raging psycho bitch.” — Frank Gallagher

“Lip, smart as a whip.  Straight A’s and the honor roll.  Boy’s definitely going somewhere.” — Frank Gallagher

“Ian, industrious, conscientious, ambitious, incredible work ethic.  Don’t have a clue where he got that from.  Wants to be a paratrooper.  Knows how to disembowl an enemy with a roll of dimes and an old gym sock.” — Frank Gallagher

“Ah, Debbie.  Sent by God, total angel.  Raises money for UNICEF year-round, some of which she actually turns in.” — Frank Gallagher

Quote1And me, Frank Gallagher, father, teacher, mentor, captain of our little ship.Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

Quote1We may not have much, but all of us, to a man, knows the most important thing in this life– we know how to fucking party!Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

Quote1Kevin, did you miss me, dear?  A beer and a bump.Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

“You see?  That’s the problem with working.  Too much instability, stress.” — Frank Gallagher

“Who’s been eating my porridge?” — Frank Gallagher

“Yeah, but if i had tits, I would double the money.” — Frank Gallagher

Quote1What are you?  A tough guy, Steve?  You think you’re a fucking tough guy?Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

Quote1A large boilermaker.  And keep ’em comin’.Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

“Sheils made it.” — Frank Gallagher

Quote1You know what?  I have a second chance at life.  I’m not gonna surround myself with negative energy.Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

Quote1We’re all the descendants of barbarians.  And the sooner we face it, the sooner we’ll have a civilization worth celebrating.Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

“It’s the credit card companies you should blame.  I didn’t cause the downfall of the American economy.  The president said spend.  I spent.” — Frank Gallagher

“No, no.  Have mercy on me.  I can’t handle anything up my ass without alcohol.” — Frank Gallagher

Quote1Gave up the booze.  Not feeling too good.Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

Quote1First pub crawl I did was when I was 16.  Hit 22 pubs before I hurled.  Got right back on the horse. Hit ten more.  Hurled again.  That’s how I got the nickname ‘Boot and Rally.’Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

“I’m a grower, not a shower.  But trust me, when it’s time to show, I grow.” — Frank Gallagher

Quote1Frankie’s got some moolah comin’ his way.Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

“She’s like mouth herpes.  The gift that keeps on giving.” — Frank Gallagher

“Kids.” — Frank Gallagher

Quote1We are warriors battling against the dark forces of our primal nature.  Knights taking up arms against our animalistic impulses in a debauched culture.  Doing battle everyday, gentlemen.  Every single day!Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

“No.  I couldn’t take advantage.” — Frank Gallagher

Quote1Making a little easy summer moolah the Gallagher way.Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

“Not with all the king’s vaseline.  That won’t fit.” — Frank Gallagher

“I’ll wear a bag over my head.” — Frank Gallagher

Quote1Maker’s.Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

“You got it, babe.” — Frank Gallagher

“I’m trying to tell you it’s dangerous out there, Sheils.” — Frank Gallagher

Quote1You give a man a fish, you feed him for a day.  You teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime.Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

“I brought the barbecue to you, my one and only girl.” — Frank Gallagher

Quote1And just for the record many great men have been well lubricated.  Henry Ford.  Scott Fitzgerald.  David Hasselhoff.  They all kept a bottle close.  Beethoven’s Fifth.  Coincidence?  I don’t think so.Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

“Well, there’s free food, and booze.  Mom won’t miss that.” — Frank Gallagher

“Because she would slaughter me and feast on my flesh.” — Frank Gallagher

“Fuck me.” — Frank Gallagher

Quote1The best for the best.Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

Quote1As you were, sailors.Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

“Jack Daniels and orange juice mix better than I would’ve imagined.” — Frank Gallagher

“Choose a gender, and find someone to fuck.  Preferably, for free.” — Frank Gallagher

“She’s your mother, Fi.  You only get one.” — Frank Gallagher

“Your son’s a real prick.” — Frank Gallagher

“My mother.  Even dead she’s a pain in the ass.” — Frank Gallagher

“For his shitty coke?  It’s like Drano up your nose.” — Frank Gallagher

Quote1You talk to your father that way?Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

Quote1Cops.  And their fucking quotas, why do you think?Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

Quote1Life is rife with questions that baffle.  All we can do is carry on.Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

“I underestimated you, Jody.  In a bar full of depraved people, you are the grand-poobah of depravity.” — Frank Gallagher

“Not gonna happen overnight, Sheila.” — Frank Gallagher

Quote1Don’t let your emotions completely obscure the barbaric roots of the sexual act.  Don’t lose touch with the seeds of our animal nature.Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

“You can have that with Sheila and give her what she needs.” — Frank Gallagher

“She wants to be sensitive to your recovery, but she has needs.” — Frank Gallagher

“You see, Frank Gallagher knows people.  I-I just intuit.  I was, uh– I was a psychology major for a semester.” — Frank Gallagher

Quote1I am whatever I need to be at the time I need to be it.  Christ, write that down.Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

Quote1Now, the human genitalia, to me, is like a homing device– God’s compass.  Huh?  And each of us has it, and it guides us to our destined homes.  Now, our devices don’t work if we try to point ’em in a direction that they don’t want to go in.  Because let people chow down on the nether region of their choice– male, female, consenting animal.Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

“Amenities need to be amended.  These mini-bottles are a little too mini.  I need to get some of the big boys up here.” — Frank Gallagher

“God gave you the race card for a reason, Julius.  Play it.” — Frank Gallagher

Quote1A parent’s plight never goes away, no matter how old your kid gets.Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

“Need any words of fatherly advice?” — Frank Gallagher

Quote1Good for you.  You’re just like me.  We march to the beat of a different drummer.  Everyone will try to cage you in, tell you you have to worry about your future.  You know what your future should be?  This– living life to the fullest, every day like it’s your last.Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

“Alcohol provides clarity.” — Frank Gallagher

“Three raw eggs, Worcestershire, and a sliver of ginger.   Works every time.” — Frank Gallagher

“Tragedy makes kids tough, Fiona.” — Frank Gallagher

“That kid can take a beating.  Tough as a two-dollar steak.” — Frank Gallagher

Quote1Take me to the Alibi.Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

“Does that have a Dr. Frankenstein list of side effects, too?” — Frank Gallagher

Quote1What about a little something to take the edge off?  What about pain meds?Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

“Well, what’s the point of getting a new liver if the damn thing won’t do what it’s designed to do?” — Frank Gallagher

Quote1Look at that.  A new day.  And I’m still alive.  Life is good.Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

“I never black out for a whole day unless I’m smoking crack.” — Frank Gallagher

Quote1And taking prescription medications while drinking and then smoking pot and then smoking crack can lead to questionable decisions.Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

“Morning drinker?  A woman after my own heart.  What’s the occasion?” — Frank Gallagher

“I have a home.  Intermittently.  Who the hell are you?” — Frank Gallagher

“That’s the Irish way.  We can’t help thousands of years of inebriated evolution.” — Frank Gallagher

Quote1Beerkeep, my daily.Quote2 — Frank Gallagher

“We’re human.  We make mistakes.  Have faults.” — Frank Gallagher

“It takes a dope-fiend to know a dope-fiend and you are world class my friend.” — Frank Gallagher

Utilitarian, persuasive, discerning, and Machiavellian Frank Gallagher is an Artisan.


Fiona Gallagher, Showtime, Shameless

Fiona Gallagher

Fiona Gallagher is the de-facto mother of the Gallagher household.  She serves all the rotary functions of a mother, and goes to great lengths to do so.

Fiona starts a relationship with grand theft auto specialist ‘Steve’ who’s actual name is Jimmy Lishman.

Jimmy is forced to leave town by his romantic rival, a cop Tony Markovich.  Fiona thinks he just left without saying a word, and let her down, just like every other guy she’s ever met in her entire life.

Carl’s school calls social services on Fi-Fi.

The Department of Family Services hauls the ‘youngans away, Fiona has to show up in court and plead her case, which she does and is given custody back.

Fifi gets her G.E.D. and a white-collar job working phone sales for a cup manufacturing company.  She starts dating her boss Mike Pratt but seduces her brother Robbie and sabotages the relationship, and subsequently, the job.

Liam snorts cocaine at a party at the Gallagher ancestral household and Fiona eats charges of, possession of a controlled substance and child endangerment.

She violates probation and spends a short stint in a correctional facility.

Fiona marries local musician Gus Pfender.  This goes south and she takes up with her boss, owner of local diner Patsy’s Pies, and recovering addict, Sean Pierce.

This relationship also goes south at their wedding ceremony, which is sabotaged by Frank, who exposes and calls Sean out on his persisting addiction to heroin.


Fiona Gallagher, Showtime, Shameless

“7:15, monkeys.  Come on.” — Fiona Gallagher

“No.  You’ve got a Happy Meal on the front of that shirt.” — Fiona Gallagher

“Who’s got the phone?  Any minutes left?” — Fiona Gallagher

“How much are we short?” — Fiona Gallagher

“You can just ignore him.” — Fiona Gallagher

“Hey, don’t worry Debs.  We’re gonna find him, all right?” — Fiona Gallagher

Quote1Oh, leave him alone.  He’s a nice guy.Quote2 — Fiona Gallagher

Quote1I hope I’m not fucking up the kids.Quote2 — Fiona Gallagher

“I know they borrow your shit all the time.  I know it’s lame.  Thanks.” — Fiona Gallagher

Quote1Okay, now listen up.  We are going to stand united and show them that we are a family that is thriving.  You got it?  Let’s go.Quote2 — Fiona Gallagher

“Which part?  The part where my mom splits?  Or the part where my dad is a raging alcoholic narcissist?” — Fiona Gallagher

“I’m hanging by a thread.” — Fiona Gallagher

“You knew he was going to go back to his regular shitty self.” — Fiona Gallagher

“Hi baby bottoms.  Did you have sweet dreams?” — Fiona Gallagher

“You’re still on my shit list.” — Fiona Gallagher

Quote1Life’s messy.  People have secrets.  But I don’t want you worrying about this kind of stuff, okay?Quote2 — Fiona Gallagher

“It’s not your fault.  Get some sleep, okay?” — Fiona Gallagher

Quote1I’m not into liars.Quote2 — Fiona Gallagher

“Oh, it’s okay for guys to play the field but not me?” — Fiona Gallagher

“I’d just end up selling it for food and toilet paper.” — Fiona Gallagher

Quote1Human nature.  Given the choice, people usually do the wrong thing.Quote2 — Fiona Gallagher

Quote1Why am I always the one compromising?Quote2 — Fiona Gallagher

“He’ll be fine once he comes home.” — Fiona Gallagher

“Jimmy.  He’s Jimmy now.  Steve was just an alias he used to lie to me about who he really was.” — Fiona Gallagher

Quote1I want you home, Lip.  We all do.Quote2 — Fiona Gallagher

“Are you gonna leave?  Everybody always leaves.” — Fiona Gallagher

“When I was nine he was gone for a year.  He always comes back.” — Fiona Gallagher

Quote1The world’s messed up.  So much ugly shit happens.Quote2 — Fiona Gallagher

“Be happy you have a real dad.  Not some thieving alcoholic deadbeat who’s puking into the silverware drawer.” — Fiona Gallagher

“I didn’t find Frank ’till a couple days later.  First thing he asked me, how much money I had on me.” — Fiona Gallagher

Quote1My mother’s bipolar.  And my father’s an alcoholic and an addict.  He takes what he pleases and he offers nothing.  No money, no support.  I’ve done what I could to help raise my siblings.  I wish I could have done more.  I’m not asking for your pity, or your admiration.  I just want to be able to give these kids everything that they deserve, because they’re great kids and they deserve better.Quote2 — Fiona Gallagher

Quote1I just want to bring ’em home.Quote2 — Fiona Gallagher

“No, it’s not a ‘whatever.’  First Gallagher kid getting his diploma, it’s a big deal.” — Fiona Gallagher

“He’s getting it fair and square and setting a good example for both of you, so pay attention.” — Fiona Gallagher

“You’ll have to excuse him, okay?  Puberty has turned him into a barbarian.” — Fiona Gallagher

Quote1Family chaos is my status quo.Quote2 — Fiona Gallagher

“I can get a little wild.” — Fiona Gallagher

“I don’t want to be another Frank or Monica.” — Fiona Gallagher

“I’m not fishing for a pep talk I just… I don’t know who I am anymore.  I mean, since clearly I’m not the big sister taking care of everyone.” — Fiona Gallagher

Quote1Yeah, I’m a real fixer-upper.Quote2 — Fiona Gallagher

“You better not be selling drugs again, Carl.” — Fiona Gallagher

“No way I’m taking Carl’s cartel money.” — Fiona Gallagher

“This is my wedding day.  Please don’t fuck it up.” — Fiona Gallagher

Credulous, vigilant, loving, with robust maternal instincts Fiona Gallagher is an Idealist.


Phillip Gallagher, Showtime, Shameless

Phillip Gallagher

Phillip Ronan Gallagher also known as Lip sells original essays for a fee, he’ll take your SAT or ACT, and tutors on the side to help the family stay afloat.  His neighbor and girlfriend Karen Jackson helps procure clientele.

Lip and neighbor Kevin Ball open up an ice cream truck that they sell tobacco, joints, and brews out of.

Despite pristine academics Lip is expelled from his high-school after throwing a chair through a window and verbally accosting several students and teachers.  Regardless of this incident Lip gets his diploma with a 4.6 GPA.

He ends up at the University of Chicago with a desire to pursue admission into the aerospace engineering program.  He has a passion for robotics.

Lip runs into an on-campus alcohol violation and ends up in the drunk tank.  Subsequently a booze induced tirade, and swing at a campus cop gets him expelled.  His friend Professor Youens drives him to a rehabilitation facility.


Phillip Gallagher, Showtime, Shameless

“Oh, I’m tutoring after school.  I should be able to kick in like ten more.” — Phillip Gallagher

“That’s right, and get a real job, not just dipping into the collection plate at St. Tim’s.” — Phillip Gallagher

Quote1Uh, I got a calculus test.Quote2 — Phillip Gallagher

“Uh, hi.  I’m here to help Karen study for her midterm.” — Phillip Gallagher

“Yeah, yeah.  Have you done Newton’s first?  I’ve got a great one for that.” — Phillip Gallagher

“Name a single time I’ve let you down.” — Phillip Gallagher

“I mean the whole point of the digestive system is one way traffic.” — Phillip Gallagher

“How about you just show up at this wedding, do what you do best: drink free booze and look happy?  Yes?” — Phillip Gallagher

Quote1The wording is ambiguous.Quote2 — Phillip Gallagher

“So, you’re relying on a nine year old to deliver proper correspondence?” — Phillip Gallagher

“Yeah, well.  Drunk or sober you’re still an asshole.” — Phillip Gallagher

“That’s a nice outfit what is that, pirate wench?” — Phillip Gallagher

Quote1Quick study.Quote2 — Phillip Gallagher

Quote1I read a lot.Quote2 — Phillip Gallagher

“I believe the answer to that question, like the answer to most questions, is fuck you.” — Phillip Gallagher

“It’s a noble endeavor I fully endorse.” — Phillip Gallagher

“I’m not on fucking retainer.” — Phillip Gallagher

“The only way to make money when you’re poor is to steal it or scam it.” — Phillip Gallagher

Quote1Because I’d like to hang out with C-3PO in my lifetime.  And at the rate you’re going that shit’s not gonna happen.Quote2 — Phillip Gallagher

“I don’t want to sit in a lecture that teaches me how to modify algorithms instead of think for myself.” — Phillip Gallagher

Quote1You’re just modifying algorithms.Quote2 — Phillip Gallagher

“That dude’s a bad ass.  You know he’s fluent in over 6 million forms of communication?” — Phillip Gallagher

“Oh, I prefer carcinogens to endorphins.” — Phillip Gallagher

“Neighborhood’s gotta stick together.” — Phillip Gallagher

“I got bored.  It was costing a fortune anyways.” — Phillip Gallagher

Intellectual, proprietary, autonomous, and slightly rebellious Lip Gallagher is a Rational.


Deborah Gallagher, Showtime, Shameless

Deborah Gallagher

Deborah Gallagher has memorized her fathers signature and provides it for all the siblings, because he’s never around to do so.

Deb, Liam, Lip, and Ian are confiscated by child protective services, but the situation is rectified.  Debs sparks an interest in boys and pursues Matty Baker, a 20 year old.  

She sexually assaults Matty during a party while he’s incapacitated.  While receiving shit for this transgression Debs meets a new boyfriend Derek, who gets her preggers.

Debs’ close friends Holly and Ellie abandon her seemingly for no reason and even start antagonizing her.

Debbie decides to keep her baby, and Derek decides to skip town.

Debbie Gallagher, Showtime, Shameless

Debbie gives birth to a baby girl on the Gallagher kitchen table.  She names her Frances, after her beloved father.


Deborah Gallagher, Showtime, Shameless

Quote1You’re almost nine.  You’re gonna have to start pulling your weight.Quote2 — Debbie Gallagher

“I never said it was my birthday.  I said I wished it was.” — Debbie Gallagher

“We can get an extra $2,000 a month if we say Carl’s retarded.” — Debbie Gallagher

Quote1What’s a shit-sack?Quote2 — Debbie Gallagher

“We got high on sugar because daddy quit drinking.” — Debbie Gallagher

Quote1Fiona takes care of everyone but no one takes care of Fiona.  She wouldn’t do anything.  Too proud.  So we have to.Quote2 — Debbie Gallagher

“No reason.  I’m just checking in.” — Debbie Gallagher

“I understand that you lied to my sister.  Why?” — Debbie Gallagher

“Love is fleeting, Jimmy.  What are your intentions?  You’re distracting her, and I need her in the game for at least a few more years.  I can’t have you breaking her heart, or running off with her.  So if you’re serious about sticking around, back off now.” — Debbie Gallagher

Quote1I’m a girl.  I’m gonna be a woman soon.  I need privacy to undergo the upcoming traumatic transformation.Quote2 — Debbie Gallagher

“Dead people poop themselves.” — Debbie Gallagher

“You really shouldn’t sleep in your make-up, you know.” — Debbie Gallagher

“It’s just boys crashing into one another.  With pads.  And rules.” — Debbie Gallagher

“A little heavy on the botox and Chanel No. 5 but, nice.” — Debbie Gallagher

“Um, no.  Although I know many people who have had relations with same sex individuals.  I believe all people should have the right to love whomever they choose.  And even though civil unions are legal in Illinois, it isn’t enough.  Change is possible.  It starts with us and–.” — Debbie Gallagher

Quote1I didn’t wanna go anyway.  All anyone ever does is try to copy off me.  But no one wants to sit with me at lunch.  Everybody’s mean.  Middle-school’s stupid.  Mean girls suck.Quote2 — Debbie Gallagher

“Oh, so it’s fine for me to be an adult when it comes to saving this family from losing this house by falsely accusing a relative of molesting me.  But when I want to know where we’re gonna be living for the next year, then I’m just supposed to be a kid and keep my mouth shut, right?” — Debbie Gallagher

Quote1I haven’t abused marijuana like the rest of you so yes, I remember.Quote2 — Debbie Gallagher

“Does this make you, ‘cray?'” — Debbie Gallagher

Quote1Because I know I’m going to be a great a mom.Quote2 — Debbie Gallagher

“Trying to set a good example, for Franny.” — Debbie Gallagher

Responsible, stalwart, intrepid, and altruistic Debs Gallagher is a Guardian.


Sanguinary Channel

Netflix family crime drama Bloodline also stole an Emmy at the 68th annual but conducive to his character the silly son of a bitch didn’t even show up.

Bloodline will run a third season in May 2017 but as it stands currently, has been cancelled.

Rottentomatoes: 63%

Metacritic: 75

IMDb: 8.3

Emmys: 1 win 4 nominations

***Spoilers Ahead***


Continue reading Sanguinary Channel

Raven Doppelgänger

BBC America‘s science fiction thriller Orphan Black stole an Emmy last week via the versatile performance of Tatiana Maslany.

#Cloneclub will return for a 5th and final season.

Rottentomatoes: 92%

Metacritic: 73

IMDb: 8.4

Emmys: 1 win 2 nominations

***Spoilers Ahead***



Continue reading Raven Doppelgänger

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