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Band Teacher

Disney+ original film Soul dropped Christmas Day December 25th, 2020.

🎵✨#PixarSoul is Pixar’s annual film.



rottentomatoes: 96%

metacritic: 83

imdb: 8.2


Joe Gardner, Soul, Disney+, Walt Disney Pictures, Pixar Animation Studios, Jamie Foxx
Joe Gardner, Soul, Disney+, Walt Disney Pictures, Pixar Animation Studios, Jamie Foxx

Joe Gardner (Jamie Foxx)

Joe Gardner has an existential crisis outside of New York City, New York.

Joe Gardner, Soul, Disney+, Walt Disney Pictures, Pixar Animation Studios, Jamie Foxx

“One, two, three, four. Stay on the beat. Two, three, four. Two, three… I see you, Caleb. Rachel, now you. Okay, she forgot her sax. And now, all you, Connie. Go for it! Hang on, hang on. What are y’all laughing at? So Connie got a little lost in it. That’s a good thing. Look, I remember one time my dad took me to this jazz club, and that’s the last place I wanted to be. But then I see this guy, and he’s playing these chords with fourths on it, and then with the minor… oh, oh, whoo. Then he adds the inner voices, and it’s like he’s… it’s like he’s singing. And I swear, the next thing I know… …it’s like he floats off the stage. That guy was lost in the music. He was in it, and he took the rest of us with him. And I wanted to learn… …how to talk like that. That’s when I knew… I was born to play. Connie knows what I mean. Right, Connie? I’ll be right back. Practice your scales. You’re doing my ears a favor. Not you, though, you’re good. He’s not. What can I do for you, Principal Arroyo? Wow. That’s, uh, great. Thanks.” — Joe Gardner

“Yeah, mom, but I… don’t worry, mom, I got a plan. Yeah, but… yeah, definitely. Hello? Hey, Curley! Hey, good to hear your voice, man. Uh… listen. You can call me Joe now, Curley. I’m not your teacher anymore. Dorothea Williams! Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Congratulations, man. Wow! I would die a happy man if I could perform with Dorothea Williams.” — Joe Gardner

“Hey, Curley. Yeah. Uh, I’ll bet. Well, you know, for a coffee shop. Call me Joe, Dorothea. Uh… uh, I mean, Miss Williams. It’s a pleasure. Wow. This is amazing. What.. what are we playin’? Uh, sorry. I zoned out a little back there. I’ve been, uh, teaching, middle school band. Uh, but on the weekends, I… uh…” — Joe Gardner

“Yes! Whoo-hoo! You see that, dad? That’s what I’m talking about! Hey, look up, look up. You know what that’s gonna say? Joe Gardner! You’re never gonna believe what just happened. I did it. I got the gig. Yes! I.. I know. Dorothea Williams! Can you believe it? Just don’t tell my mom about this. Okay? Forget class. I’m in a different class. I’m in a Dorothea Williams class, buddy. You know what I’m saying? I’m… whoa! Sorry!” — Joe Gardner

“What the… hello? Hello? What the… hey! Hey, hey, hey! Hello! Hello. Uh, I’m Joe. Joe Gardner. Look, I’m not supposed to be here. For what? The Great Beyond? As in, as in beyond life? That’s death right there? No, no, no, listen. I have a gig tonight. I can’t die now. Yes. Yes, I do. I’m not dying the very day I got my shot. I’m due. Heck, I’m overdue. Uh-uh, uh-uh. I’m outta here. This can’t happen. I’m not dyin’ today. Not when my life just started. What was that? Wait. I’m not finished. I gotta get back. I don’t wanna die! I’m not done. I’m not done. Run! Why aren’t you running? What’s wrong with you people? I’m not done. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Excuse me. Help! I’m not done. I gotta get back. Oh, my… oh, my goodness.” — Joe Gardner

“What? Ow! Who… who are you? What? Jerry, okay. Uh, hey, is this heaven? Is it H-E-double hockey sticks? The Great Before? Does this mean I’m dead? Oh, wait a minute. This is where personalities come from? Whoo-hoo! Wait, wait, wait. Uh, look, I’m not sure I’m supposed to be here. Actually, on second thought, you know, the mentoring sounds like fun.” — Joe Gardner

“Find the spark. Where are we? No, look. Come on, don’t you want to fill out your pass? Look, kid, I’m not… can I just be honest with you? I’m not Bjorn Borgenstein or whatever his name is. I’m not even a mentor. Is there any way to show a different life in this place? It’s my life. Man, who curated this exhibit. Oh, my goodness. It’s Cedric’s rap group. No! No, don’t look at that stuff. Let’s look over here. This is where it all started. This is the moment where I fell in love with jazz. Listen to that. See, the tune is just an excuse to bring out the you. And that’s why I became a jazz musician. Wait a minute, that’s not how I remember it going down. My life was meaningless. No, no, no. No, I will not accept this. Kid, give me that badge. I’m goin’ back to my body. Well, what if I help you turn it into an Earth Pass? Will you give it to me then? Come on. I know all about sparks. Because mine is piano. Really? Nothin’ at all? Well, I’m not going out like this. Where’s that, uh, Hall of Everything? I’ll be right back. By the way, why do you sound like a middle-aged white lady? Huh? It’s very effective. Very witty.” — Joe Gardner

“Whoa! Come on. Croissants, cakes. Baking could be your spark. Just smell it. What? You’re right. I can’t smell. We can’t… we can’t taste, either? No smell, no taste. Okay, I get it. Moving on. Isn’t this exciting? Nope. How about a librarian? They’re cool. Look, obviously this… well, I think that’s everything. You told me you’d try. Well, what else can we do, then? Because we’re running out of time. Where does it lead? And we’re going there why? Like me? As in, alive? Wait, are you actually helping me? Okay, let’s go.” — Joe Gardner

“What is this place? Yeah. Wait a minute. I was here. Today, doing my audition. This must be where musicians come when they get into a flow. All right. All right. Where’s this guy you know? I gotta get back to my gig. What the… what is that? Uh, yeah. I’m trying to get back to my body. can you help me? These weirdos are going to help me get back? Whoa. He got back just like that? So this is all I had to do to get back to my body? No, no. Well, not yet. Can you help me get back?” — Joe Gardner

“So if your souls are here, where are your bodies? Mm-hmm. And let me guess, you’re drumming, chanting, and meditating? Oh, yeah, that’s right up from Tony Tony Tonios. And what about you? I thought you hated Earth. So many of them. Sad. What? Really?” — Joe Gardner


Soul 22, Soul, Disney+, Walt Disney Pictures, Pixar Animation Studios, Tina Fey
Soul 22, Soul, Disney+, Walt Disney Pictures, Pixar Animation Studios, Tina Fey

Soul 22 (Tina Fey)

“How many times do I have to tell you? I don’t wanna go to Earth. I don’t wanna. Make me! I made her cry. Put me down. I’m gonna make you wish you never died. Okay, look, I’m sure your life was amazing and you did amazing things, but here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna stand here in silence for a little bit, then we go back out, you say you tried, I go back to not living my non-life and you go to the Great Beyond. Talk all you want, Bjorn. It’s not gonna work, anyway. I’ve had thousands of mentors who failed and now hate me. Mother Teresa… Copernicus… Muhammad Ali… Marie Antoinette… thanks, but no thanks, doc. I already know everything about Earth, and it’s not worth the trouble. You know, I’m comfortable up here. I have my routine. I float in mist, I do my sudoku puzzles, and then, like, once a week, they make me come to one of these You Seminars. It’s not great, but I know what to expect. Not a mentor? Ah… reverse psychology. You really are a good shrink, doctor. Carl Jung already tried that. Wait. You’re really not Bjorn Börggensson? Um, excuse me, what’s going on here? Binaca breath spray? Cheap cologne? You did. Oh, yeah, sure. Here. Unless it becomes an Earth Pass, I’m stuck with it. Wait… I’d never thought of that. I’d get to skip life. So, yes! But we gotta get this thing to change first, and I’ve never been able to get it to change. Eh. Oh, no, not jazz, just music. I don’t like music sounds. It feels like a little too much. Don’t get ahead of yourself, pal. I don’t. This is an illusion. This whole place is a hypothetical. I could sound like this if I wanted to. Or sound like this instead. I could even sound like you. Life is so unfair. I don’t wanna die. Somebody call the wambulance. Wah! I just use this voice because it annoys people. Don’t worry, they’re fine. You can’t crush a soul here. That’s what life on Earth is for.”

“Okay. Here we are. This is the Hall of Everything. So, where do you want to start? Yeah! But, um, I don’t get it. Can’t, and neither can you. all that stuff is in your body. Or touch. See? The fire is so pretty. I kinda wanna let it spread. Hands are hard. Yes, amazing. Who wouldn’t like working at a thankless job you’re always in danger of losing due to budget cuts? Though I do like the idea of randomly shushing people. Shh! Oh, yeah, that’s good. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Sorry. I did. I’m telling the truth. If there’s one thing I’m not, it’s a liar. Unlike Abraham Lincoln. You’re really okay being on a penny? Okay, but they put Andrew Jackson on the 20. What can I say, Joe? Earth is boring. Yeah, you know, time’s not really a thing here. Even though I can’t feel it, please don’t touch me. Um, wait. We forgot to try breakdancer. Yeah! I think that’s gonna be my thing. Poppin’ and lockin’. Windmills. Settling my disputes with dance. Can we have one more minute to go back and try breakdancer? Please, Jerry? You look really good today, Jerry. Run. In here. Here it is. Hey, you ask too many questions. How about you zip it for a minute, m’kay? ‘Cause I know a guy there. A guy who can help. A guy like you. Joe, I have been here for who knows how long, and I’ve never seen anything that’s made me want to live. And then, you come along. Your life is sad an pathetic. And you’re working so hard to get back to it. Why? I mean, this I gotta see.”

“You know how when you humans are really into something and it feels like you’re in another place? Feels like you’re in the zone, right? Well, this is the zone. It’s the space between the physical and spiritual. Not just musicians. Watch this. Not just musicians. Watch this. Check this out. I have been messing with this team for decades. Okay. I mean, he’s usually down here. Shh! Run! Moonwind, how are ya? Hey, got a request for you. Just wait. Yeah, I’m not stuck with a body. So I can go wherever I want. I’m a nobody, get it?”


Curley, Soul, Disney+, Walt Disney Pictures, Pixar Animation Studios, Questlove

Curley (Questlove)

“How you been, Mr. G? Uh, it’s Curley. Lamont. Lamont Baker. Oh, okay, Mr. Gardner. Hey, look, I’m the new drummer in the Dorothea Williams Quartet, and we’re kicking off our tour with a show at The Half Note tonight. Oh, well, this could be your lucky day.”

“Whew, there he is. Leon skipping town really put us in a bind, man. I’m glad you made it. My boy, Bishop, said he sat in with you on a set last year in Brooklyn. Said you were great. Hey, Dorothea. This is the cat I was telling you about. My old middle school band teacher, Mr. Gardner. Uh, Joe is Ray Gardner’s son.”


Dorothea Williams, Soul, Disney+, Walt Disney Pictures, Pixar Animation Studios, Angela Basset

Dorothea Williams (Angela Basset)

“So, we’re down to middle school band teachers now. Get on up here, Teach, we ain’t got all day. Joe Gardner, where have you been? You got a suit? Get a suit, Teach. A good suit. Back here tonight. First show’s at 9:00. Soundcheck’s at 7:00. We’ll see how you do.”


Libba Gardner

“After all these years, my prayers have been answered. A full-time job. You’re going to tell them yes, right? You always got a plan. Maybe you need to have a backup plan, too, for when you plan falls through. Joey, we didn’t struggle giving you an education so you could be a middle-aged man washing your underwear in my shop. With this job, you’ll be able to put that dead-end gigging behind you. And Lord knows we need more teachers in this world. And just think, playing music will finally be your real career. So, you’re going to tell them yes, right? Good.”


Counselor Jerry

“Now, now, everyone, let’s give the mentor some room. Sorry, new souls. 37, that’s enough. Hey, everyone, look here. Quiet coyote. Shh. Quiet coyote. I am the coming together of all quantized fields of the universe. Appearing in a form your feeble human brain can comprehend. You can call me Jerry. No. Shh. Quiet coyote. It’s easy to get turned around. This isn’t the Great Beyond. It’s the Great Before. Oh. We call it the You Seminar now. Rebranding. Not yet. Your body’s in a holding pattern. It’s complicated. I’ll get you back to your group. Come on, little souls, get on up here. Welcome to the You Seminar. You are in for a treat.”

“Okay, first stop is the Excitable Pavilion. You four. In you go. You five, you’ll be aloof. And you two, why not? Of course. Do you think people are just born with them? Well, they use the Earth portal. Once they get a complete personality, of course. Hello? Hello? You sure get lost a lot. Hello, Jerry… …got a lost mentor for you. I understand. Mentoring isn’t for everyone. You’re more than welcome to opt out. I’m glad to hear it. Jerry will take it from here. Thanks, Jerry. Head right on over there to Jerry. Good luck! Oh, hello, there, Terry. I seriously doubt that. The count hasn’t been off in centuries. Yep. I’m aware. And we all think you’re doing a wonderful job, don’t we, everyone? Right. Since accounting is your job, why don’t you figure out the problem? Wonderful.”


Terry

“Mm, that’s weird. The count’s off. There’s a soul missing. So, uh, how do you they get to Earth, then? Jerry, we’ve got a problem. The count’s off. 151,000 souls go into the Great Beyond every day. That’s 105.2 souls per minute, Jerry. 1.75 souls per second. And I count every single one of ’em. It’s my job to keep track of this stuff, Jerry. I’m the accountant. I’m always counting. I’m counting right now. You blinked five times since I started talking. Six. Maybe I will. Don’t play dumb with me. Okay, here we go. ‘A.'”

Counselor Jerry 3

“What is it? Excuse me? The count’s off. Huh.”

Counselor Jerry D

“All righty, mentors. Just find your name here… …and join us inside.”

Counselor Jerry 4

“Thank you, Jerry.”

Counselor Jerrys

“Absolutely. Looks good from where this guy’s standing.”

Counselor Jerry E

“I’d say no.”

Counselor Jerry rando

“Hello again, Terry.”

You Seminar

“Hello, there, mentors. I’m Jerry, a counselor here at the You Seminar. Now you don’t remember it, but you’ve been here before. But don’t worry, forgetting the trauma of childbirth is one of the great gifts of the universe. Here at the You Seminar, all new souls are given unique and individual personalities. Oh-ho, this one might be a handful. But that’s Earth’s problem. You’ll notice these souls are all missing something. What goes in this spot? Well, these souls need their ‘spark.’ And that’s where you come in. Maybe you will find their spark in the Hall of Everything, where literally anything on Earth could inspire. Or perhaps you’ll prefer the Hall of You, featuring a selection of moments from your own inspiring life. And just what is this spark? I know you’re all excited to get to work, so good luck finding the spark. Wow, that was informative. Now, it’s time for my favorite part of the program, matching you mentors with your soul mates. Our first mentor is Maria Martinez. Maria, come on down. Maria was a rare disease specialist from the University of Mexico. She’ll be matched with one of my favorites, soul number 108,210,121,415. Congratulations! Off you go. Our next mentor is Bjorn T. Börggensson. Dr. Börggensson is a world-renowned child psychologist who was recently awarded a Nobel Prize. Dr. Börggensson will be matched with soul number 22. Oh, we’re gonna get into this now. Excuse me. 22, you come out of this dimension right now. Stop fighting this, 22. You will go to Earth and have a life. 22 has been at the You Seminar for quite some time and has had such notable mentors as Ghandi, Abraham Lincoln, and Mother Teresa. Ignore that. We’re truly glad to have you here, Dr. Börggensson. It is an honor having you prepare 22 for Earth. Most people wish that, 22. Off you go. Bye!”

Counselor Jerry B

“Time’s up! Nice try, Bjorn, but no need to feel bad. 22 here can be a bit of a challenge. So, let’s get you to the Great Beyond. Oh, okay. I’ve never seen 22 this enthused. Good for you, Dr. Börggensson.”

You Seminar 2

“I’m an agreeable skeptic who’s cautious yet flamboyant.”

You Seminar 3

“I’m an irritable wallflower who’s dangerously curious.”

You Seminar 4

“I’m a manipulative megalomaniac who’s intensely opportunistic.”

Libba’s Co-Worker

“Working man, coming through. A backup plan never hurts.”

Libba’s Co-Worker 2

“Walking around with a hole in his pants.”

Principal Arroyo

“Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Gardner. I wanted to deliver the good news personally. No more part-time for you. You’re now our full-time band teacher. Job security. Medical insurance. Pension. Welcome to the M.S. 70 family, Joe. Permanently.”

Rachel

“Forgot my sax, Mr. G.”

School Band 1

“Way to go!”

Connie

“I’m 12.”

School Band 2

“Hey!”

Construction Worker

“Hey, pal, you’re gonna get hurt!”

Spirit 1

“Oh, what’s your name, honey? Ah. Must have been sudden for you. You see, Joe, I’m 106 years old. Been waiting a long time for this. The Great Beyond. Yeah. Exciting, isn’t it? I don’t think you’re supposed to go that way.”

Spirit 2

“This beats my dream about the walrus.”

Spirit 3

“Well, I really don’t think you have a lot to say about this.”

Spirit 4

“I don’t know.”

Spirit 5

“I don’t know.”

Spirit 6

“Where are my pants?”

New Soul

“Hell. Hell. Hell. Goodbye.”

New Soul 2

“No, no. You’re here! Whee!”

New Souls

“Hell, hell, hell.”

Bjorn patient

“I see pain, death, destruction. A pretty butterfly.”

Nobel Prize

“In celebration of Dr. Börggensson body of work, we are pleased to present him this honorary…”

Bjorn Börggensson

“How about now? That’s great progress. You should be very proud. Step by step. These past few weeks, I have seen such growth. So many people I’d like to thank, of course.”

Mother Teresa

“I have compassion for every soul. Except you. I don’t like you.”

Copernicus

“The world doesn’t revolve around you, 22.”

Muhammad Ali

“You are the greatest pain in the butt…”

Marie Antoinette

“Nobody can help you! Nobody!”

Carl Jung

“Stop talking! My unconscious mind hates you!”

Abraham Lincoln

“Well, of course. It’s an honor. Jackson!”

Young Joe

“Dad, I don’t wanna go. I don’t like jazz.”

Joe’s Dad

“Black improvisational music. It’s one of our great contributions to American culture. At least give it a chance, Joey.”

Jazz Audition

“It’s not what we’re looking for.”

Jazz Audition 2

“Come back when you have something.”

Jazz Audition 3

“Sorry, Joe.”

Jazz Audition 4

“Sorry, Joe.”

Jazz Audition 5

“We’re looking for something different.”

The Zone 1

“O, Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou… line!”

The Zone 2

“Oops.”

Doris Burke

“And the knicks lose another one.”

Lost Soul

“Make a trade. Make a trade. Make a trade. Make a trade. Make a trade. Make a trade, make a trade, make a trade! Make a trade. Make a trade. Make a trade. Make a trade. Make a trade. Make a trade. Make a trade. Make a trade? Whoa. That’s me. Thank you. What am I doing with my life? I’m alive! I’m alive! Free yourselves! It’s beautiful!”

Lost Soul 2

“Gotta find it. Gotta find it. Gotta find it.”

Moonwind

“Oh! Ahoy there, fellow astral travelers. Good to see you again, 22. On the brink of madness, thanks for asking. That’s what we do. We are the mystics without borders. Devoted to helping the lost souls of Earth find their way. I’m Moonwind Stardancer at your service. That’s Windstar Dreamermoon, Dancerstar Windmoon, and that’s Dreamerwind Dreamerdreamer. Poor fellow. Some people just can’t let go of their own anxieties and obsessions, leaving them lost and disconnected from life. And this is the result. Looks like another hedge fund manager. Now, to reconnect to your earthly body. Egads, man! Joe, are you dead? We’ve never connected an untethered soul back to its body before. But perhaps if we travel to a thin spot… yes! All aboard! Anchors away!”

“Well, on Earth, of course. Yes. Something like that. I’m in New York City, on the corner of 14th and 7th. Yes, precisely. We mystics meet in this glorious landscape every Tuesday. You know, lost souls are not that different from those in the zone. The zone is enjoyable, but when that joy becomes an obsession, one becomes disconnected from life. For a time, I was a lost soul myself. Tetris.”

Dancerstar

“Let’s get this lost soul back home.”

“I’m playing the Sarasait veena in Tibet.”

Windstar

“My body is in a trance in Palawan.”

Dreamerwind

“I’m a shamanic healer meditating in Berkeley, California.”







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Song Contest

Netflix original film Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga dropped last Friday June 26th, 2020.

#EurovisionMovieis a Gary Sanchez production.

rottentomatoes: 63%

metacritic: 50

imdb: 6.6


Continue reading Song Contest