Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Brooklyn 99, FOX Broadcasting, NBCUniversal TV

Police Work

FOX Broadcasting original comedy Brooklyn Nine-Nine premieres its fifth season Tuesday.

#Brooklyn99 season 6 has not yet been confirmed.

rottentomatoes: 95%

metacritic: 70

imdb: 8.3

emmys: 2 wins

Jake Peralta, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Brooklyn 99, FOX Broadcasting, NBCUniversal TV, Andy SambergJake Peralta, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Brooklyn 99, FOX Broadcasting, NBCUniversal TV, Andy SambergDetective Jake Peralta

Detective Jake Peralta and his fellow law-enforcement compatriots preside over the 99th precinct outside of Brooklyn, New York.

Jake Peralta, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Brooklyn 99, FOX Broadcasting, NBCUniversal TV, Andy Samberg

“This job is eating me alive.  I can’t breathe anymore.  I spent all these years trying to be the good guy, the man in the white hat.  I’m not becoming like them.  I am them.  I’m doing the best speech from Donnie Brasco.  Or actually, ten of me are doing the best speech from Donnie Brasco.  What’s up?  Sorry. Uh, detective… I already solved the case.  We’re looking for three white males, one of whom has sleeve tats on both arms.  I had an informant on the inside.  He’s been here for years.  Watching, learning.  Waiting.  His code name?  Fuzzy cuddle bear.  He’s a nanny cam.  No, I got here five minutes before you and I figured that in this gigantic electronics store, there had to be at least one working camera.  Oh!  Hi, bad guys!  You did it, fuzzy.  You busted ’em.  It’s time to come home.  ‘I’m not sure if I can.  I’ve been undercover so long, I’ve forgotten who I am.  I have seen terrible things.  I haven’t known the touch of a woman in many moons.  Detective Santiago!  Don’t walk away from me!'” — Jake Peralta

“Yes, I did crack the case.  So, Santiago, would you do the honors?  Ah, yeah.  And you’re just gonna add one.  I’m winning.  It’s a good feeling.  It’s a good feeling.  Yeah.  I will!  Yeah!  Good news for all you murder fans.  Earlier this morning… someone decided to shoot and kill luxury food importer Henry Morgenthau.  Body was found by the cleaning lady, during her interview, I deduced, using expert detective work, that she had something extra gross on her chin.  Charles thinks it was flan.  I think it was butterschotch pudding.  Oldie gunk.  Could be.  Anyone else?” — Jake Peralta

“Uh, no, and I don’t care.  I just wish captain McGintley never left, he was the best.  What’s your point?  Sorry, dude… but this new guy’s gonna be  another washed-up pencil pusher who’s only concerned with… following every rule in the patrol guide.  Meep morp zeep.  Robot captain engage.  He-Hey!  New captain alert.  You must be the new C.O.  I’m detective Jake Peralta.  Great to meet you.  That’s not necessary.  Or I could recap very quickly, sure.  Um, let’s see.  I think I said some joke about being a washed up pencil pusher.  Which– meep morp…zarp.  Robot.  Yep.  Oh, actually, the last captain didn’t care if we wore ties.  Same!” — Jake Peralta

“On your marks, get set… go.  Fire extinguisher roller chair derby?  Yeah!” — Jake Peralta

“Hey, man, you okay?  You look a little jumpy.  I think he’s dead.” — Jake Peralta

“Okay, so the perp came in through the window, left the muddy red footprint, and apparently had sex with the dish rack.  Great work, detective.  You get a tie.  That’s right, Charles.  Good solve.  Tie for you.  Now everyone be sure to put those on because it’s impossible to solve crimes unless you’re wearing a tie.  Okay, first of all, when you use the word ‘Rabbi,’ you know that turns me on and that’s unfair in the work environment.  Secondly, your rabbi is a pain in my ass.  $6,000 for a ham?  Wow, that’s a great story, Charles, thank you.  All right, listen up, everybody.  Better contact captain Holt, let him know we got a ten-tie situation.  This is fantastic.  Captain!  Hey!  Welcome to the murder.  what are you doing here?  Yep.  Door duty?  It’s a waste of time.  That went well.  He’s got like super hearing.” — Jake Peralta

“Let the wasting of time begin.  Hello, sir.  Can we ask you a few questions?  Yeah.  Do you think it’s the same dude that left that bong there on the floor?  Police!  Hello.  I’ll take that action.  Police!  Open up!  Oh!  Hello, sir!  How are you today?  I am detective right-all-the-time, and this is my partner detective terrible detective.” — Jake Peralta

“And what’s worse, Santiago struck out with a 92-year-old.  Wait, you hooked up with him?  Ugh!  Oh, actually, sir… I’m wearing a tie right now.  Check it out.  Secret tie.  I was gonna ask you if you thought I was doing too much manscaping, but we solved that one.  So I’m good.  Hey, Boyle.  What about this fancy ham stuff?  Yes.  The perp left a really expensive TV but then stole ham?  It doesn’t make sense.  Is there a place nearby the crime scene that sells it?  Let’s go.  We’ll brief him after we catch the guy.” — Jake Peralta

“Oh, okay.  You recognize this guy?  Henry Morgenthau?  Maybe actually look at the picture.  Well, why don’t I run a scenario past you, Ratko, and you tell me what you think?  You do know Morgenthau.  He came in here and tried to sell you some hams.  You know they were worth a lot of money, so you tried to steal them from him when he wasn’t home.  Only he was home, so you shot him.  Does that sound familiar?  Uh, maybe some role play will jog your memory?  Great idea.  No, no, I’m Ratko.  Look, I’m doing this with you right here.  Kill!  And scene.  NYPD!  Everyone down!  Ma’am, if you could just get down, or… ignore me and continue shopping.  Boyle, get the door!  Ratko!  Oh!  Ow!  Ha ha ha!  I’m getting mad!  Charles!  How are you still here?  I got him!  I got him!  Don’t worry!” — Jake Peralta

“So no, I did not brief you.  And yes, he did get away.  But, some bonus good news.,. I got you hazelnut.  And… a little spoon there for you.” — Jake Peralta

“Is he seriously assigning me to the records room?  I mean, why do we even have a records room?  Computer’s been invented, right?  I didn’t dream it?  Sergeant, you know me.  I have more arrests than anyone.  will you please tell the captain how dumb it is to lock his best detective in a file cabinet?  Wow.  Yeah, you know what, I will have fun with my files.  Have fun with your face!  Slam!  That was a slam.” — Jake Peralta

“Hey, captain.  If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.  Anyway, I think I got something good here.  Turns out the name ‘Ratko’ is made up.  But I was digging through these files– one of which I literally found in a spider web– and it turns out there were a bunch of references to a Serbian thug, street names ‘the rat’ and ‘the butcher,’ who’s known to hang out at a storage unit near Boerum Park, which has red soil, hence, the muddy red footprint on Morgenthau’s counter.  Thank you very much, sir.  Testament to what can be achieved when you dress appropriately.  Let’s pound it out.  That’s not necessary.  Oh, they’re here.  Yeah.  Thank you.” — Jake Peralta

“Well, I, for one, am just pumped to be on a stakeout with you, captain.  You know what my favorite thing about stakeouts is?  Patrol guide says ‘no dress code.’  So I’m just the zip-up hoodie and my two best friends.  Okay, first of all, that’s racist.  Secondly, captain, Terry told me you caught the disco strangler.  That’s incredible.  I’ve read that case.  With all due respect, sir, why’d it take you so long to get your first command?  Ah.  Seriously?  Damn!  I am not a good detective.” — Jake Peralta

“Captain, I’m sorry.  I– I feel like a jackass.  But on the flip side, there’s Ratko.  Humility over.  I’m amazing!  Fantastic.  3,000 identical blue doors.  Looks like we all got door duty.  Ah, yeah.  From before.  You look great.  Ah.  Ratko, great to see you.  Actually, you’re not going anywhere.  ‘Cause if you take a look to your left, you’ll see detectives Boyle and Diaz.  Right there is detective Santiago.  And behind you is captain Holt.  Point is… my team has you surrounded.  Oh, my God, I just got the tie thing!  Captain, I just figured it out.  It’s a uniform!  We’re a team, and the tie is a part of that team’s uniform, right?  No, Ratko, shut up.  It’s important to you because you were kept off the team for so long.  And now you’re the coach, and you want us all to wear that same uniform.  Boom!  Nailed it!  All right, Ratko, down.  Drop the weapon.  Hands on your head.  Here we go.  Hey!  That’s how we do it in the nine-nine, sir.  Catch bad guys and look good doing it.  Never took off the speedo.  Big mistake.  It is inside me.  Great work, team!” — Jake Peralta

“Ah, captain.  You’re at my desk.  Just what I wanna see first thing in the morning.  Not my fault.  I had a plumbing problem.  Which reminds me, I’m gonna need a new departmentally issued phone.  Oh, come on, really?  I’m a few minutes late, so you’re gonna call me out in front of everyone?  Okay, fine.  I was three minutes late.  I’m sorry for doing one thing wrong.  Uh-oh.  It was an amazing solve.  I got him to confess in 20 minutes.  That one’s the dump?  Gah, I should’ve guessed that.  He’s good.  So I won’t confuse it with ‘undies, clean.’  Also, who cares about all these rules?  I have more felony arrests than any detective here.  Algernon.  You guys, Algernon’s back.  He’s grumpy.” — Jake Peralta

“Well, there’s no easy way to put this sarge but someone has been painting wieners on squad cars.  And apparently, they won’t stop until there’s a penis drawn on every cop car in Brooklyn.  The butt?  Did you just say ‘genital-man?’  Because if so, kudos, and yes, I have a plan.  I’m gonna plant a decoy squad car as bait.  Meanwhile, I’ll be waiting in an undercover vehicle here.  We?  You’re coming with me?  Sir, with all due respect, I don’t need backup.” — Jake Peralta

“So Holt’s coming on my stakeout now?  I made a mixtape with some very explicit rap on it, and now I can’t sing along.  Yes, I still listen to cassettes.  This guy is all over me.  I mean, a captain on a minor vandalism case?  It’s insane.  Well, I like the old sheriff.  I mean, McGintley wouldn’t care about a messy desk or all these stupid rules.  And McGintley wouldn’t care if I was three minutes late ’cause he was always an hour late and hungover, and he would let you do literally anything you want if you gave him a hamburger.  Okay.  That’s very funny.” — Jake Peralta

“Science experiment.  I wanna see what happens if I taser this cantaloupe.  Yeah!” — Jake Peralta

“You left without me.  Well, I had to put on my undercover minivan disguise.  Say hello to Harvey Norgenbloom, cpa, recently divorced father of two with a dark sexual secret.  What’s your cover?  Okay, so you do not like my ensemble.  But the sandals define Harvey.  He’s a sandals guy.  Captain, why the babysitting?  Why are you micromanaging me?  Yes.  Hey, I do take my job seriously.  I put away bad guys.  That’s what matters.  That’s on Harvey.  That’s not me.” — Jake Peralta

“Okay.  Counteroffer.  I give you 50 bucks, and you let me do whatever I want.  Fine.  We’ll do it your way.  From this point on, I’ll do every part of the job perfectly, perfecter than perfectly.  I was testing you.  You did perfectly.  Quick update on the tagger situation– he is currently spray-painting our van right now.  Police, freeze!  Ow, ow, ow.  Sandal down.  Lost a sandal.  I’m here.  You’re busted.  We got him.” — Jake Peralta

“Oh, hey, captain.  Hi, so I was able to procure that $50 after all, and my offer still stands.  Let me do whatever I want, and the $40– that’s how much I actually have– is yours.  No?  Fair enough.  I only had 30 anyway.  Well, I guess in order to get you to stop micromanaging me, I’m gonna have to get back to the most important piece of police work there is: writing a perfect report.  And I’m anxious to return to my status as a lone wolf.  Yeah, I’m gonna do one more.  Lone wolf.  He’s digging me.” — Jake Peralta

“Hey, sarge, do you know where we keep the glitter?  Just wanna make sure this report for the captain is extra sparkly.  Look, if I have to do things his way, I’m gonna do them my way.  I’m not scared of him, okay?  I’m not scared of anyone.  Oh, also, the tagger drew a penis on your minivan.  I’m sorry.  Please don’t chase after me.” — Jake Peralta

“Sorry this is taking so long.  Still writing up my report.  Pretty detailed.  Hey, Gina, can you look up what the humidity was about an hour ago and also what moon cycle we’re in?  Thanks, Gina.  And now to you.  What’s your name?  I don’t believe you.  Come on, man.  Just tell me who you are.  I need to fill this thing out perfectly, so my boss will get off my back.  Are you a minor?  How old are you?  Okay, you know what?  I’m gonna put that in there.  And then you’re gonna be tried as an adult highlander.  And they’re gonna cut your head off.  Is that what you want?” — Jake Peralta

“Hey, look at this.  Your prints were on file.  Nice to meet you, Trevor Podolski.  Oh, Podolski, just like deputy police commissioner Podolski.  Your father is deputy police commissioner Podolski.  Okay, you know what?  Yes.” — Jake Peralta

“We gotta let him walk, right?  Captain, I did all the work on this perfectly.  I mean, my report has over 25 pages of meticulous research, diagrams, and maps.  I even put an ‘about the author’ section on the back.  I did everything you asked me to do, but this is above my pay grade.  You gotta make the call.  Yeah, but you think I should process him.  Well, if I do, the deputy commissioner could ruin my career, and I’ll end up on the streets selling my beautiful body for a can of beans.  Has anyone ever told you you look exactly like a statue?” — Jake Peralta

“Ao here are my options.  One, I process Podolski’s kid, he fires me, and I spend the rest of my career as a detective, third grade, which is literally pathetic.  No offense, Hitchcock.  Option two, I let him walk, and I spend the rest of my life with Holt as my babysitter.  Honestly, when I think about spending the rest of my life with a babysitter, she’s kind of a cute blond named Erica, and she always has pizza money and lets me stay up as late as I want.  Anyway, the point is Holt cares more about whether I ‘do my job right’ than whether I have a job at all.  So I’m taking suggestions.  Okay, thank you for that, Santiago.  I’m gonna put you down for ‘don’t arrest,’ and I’m also going to put your phone number on every urinal in Rikers.  So you’re suggesting police brutality?  Hey, Scully.  You want this collar?  Paperwork’s all done, and it’s perfect.  Okay.  Boyle, what do you think?  All right, I’m gonna put you down for ‘bummer,’ and you can hang out in that category all by yourself.  Well, my career is over.  See you at the bottom, Hitchcock.  No offense.” — Jake Peralta

“Deputy commissioner.  He is at my desk, enjoying a nice glass of bubbly water and some chocolate I was saving for a special occasion.  So I caught him red-handed doing nothing?  You know, normally, I would agree with you, but I’ve been pretty detail-oriented the last few hours.  Oh.  You do realize he did thousands of dollars worth of property damage, though, to police vehicles.  Would you actually mind just checking out my report?  It’s pretty thorough, and I spent over an hour on fonts.  Kinda snazzy, so… thanks.  Have a good one.” — Jake Peralta

“Well, we don’t have to worry about Podolski’s son anymore.  The case is officially out of my hands.  No charges filed.  The deputy commissioner threw my report in Terry’s trash can, and he’d been eating yogurt earlier.  Kinda, yeah.  I called six precincts about this kid.  He’s been brought in a dozen times.  Theft, vandalism, drunken disorderly, but he’s never been processed.  His daddy comes in and bails him out every time.   He’s a lucky little jerk.  All right, I see what you’re trying to do, but it’s not gonna work.  I’m not going to arrest him.  I’m going to arrest him!  Yes.” — Jake Peralta

“Excuse me, sir.  Trevor Podolski, you’re under arrest for vandalism and destruction of property.  First off, the name’s Santiago, detective Amy Santiago.  Second, I’m arresting your son, which, as I say it aloud, seems like an unwise choice, but it’s the one I’m making.  Once again, my name is Amy Santiago.  Damn, son!  Sorry.  Deputy commissioner, if you wanna pick Trevor up, he’ll be at the nine-nine.” — Jake Peralta

“I’m not late.  I’m here.  Right on time.  Baby steps, captain.  Baby steps.” — Jake Peralta


Rosa Diaz, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Brooklyn 99, FOX Broadcasting, NBCUniversal TV, Stephanie BeatrizDetective Rosa Diaz

“Maybe it was just old person gunk.  You know how old people always have that gunk on them.  Wait, tell us about the new captain.” — Rosa Diaz

“And go!” — Rosa Diaz

“Tell me who has me for secret Santa.  Yes, you will.” — Rosa Diaz

“He seems cool.  Looks like the perp stole a computer, a watch, and a jamon iberico ham, valued at–what!  $6,000.  Sure.  Citizen Kane is terrible.  Pick a good movie.” — Rosa Diaz

“So what movie did you get us tickets to?  Just to be safe?  What does that mean?  You think I’m opinionated?  Okay, here’s an opinion for you.  You’re a bad judge of character and your shirt looks like vomit.  We’re not seeing a movie together.  Yeah, nice!” — Rosa Diaz

“Here.  I feel bad that you spent all that money on the movie tickets.  Nope.  It’s not awkward.  I like your company.  You’re sweet.” — Rosa Diaz

“Hands behind your back!  Hands behind your back!” — Rosa Diaz

“A minivan?  A-ha!  Babysitting.  A-ha!” — Rosa Diaz

“How’s that interesting?  Also not interesting.  Ugh, really Gina?  A psychic?  Thank you, Carlene.  Your entire life is garbage.” — Rosa Diaz

“You know what they don’t teach you at the academy?  It’s better to be a criminal.  Where was it?  You’re weird.” — Rosa Diaz

“So what are you doing tonight?  Nothing.” — Rosa Diaz

“Don’t arrest him.  Just smack him.  Hard.  With a phone book on a body part no one can see, you know what I’m saying?  Ha, ha, I guess so, yeah.  Why?” — Rosa Diaz

“What’s up with the chair?  There.  Now you’re hurt in this chair.  You can get hurt anywhere, Boyle.  And if you do, it won’t be it won’t be because some shoe salesman predicted it.  You make your own destiny.” — Rosa Diaz

“Move.” — Rosa Diaz

Terry Jeffords, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Brooklyn 99, FOX Broadcasting, NBCUniversal TV, Terry CrewsTerry Jeffords, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Brooklyn 99, FOX Broadcasting, NBCUniversal TV, Terry CrewsDetective Sergeant Terence “Terry” Jeffords

“JP, update on the Morgenthau murder?  How about we focus on the murder and not the old person gunk?  Okay, I want you on this.  It’s gonna be priority one for the new C.O.  Captain Holt will be here soon.  He’ll wanna introduce himself.  Dismissed.” — Terry Jeffords

“Yes, sir.  Fatter, sir.  They called me ‘Terry titties.’  Because I had large, uh– a year ago, my wife and I had twin baby girls.  Cagney and Lacey.  Ever since, I kind of got scared of getting hurt.  Lost my edge.  There was an incident in a department store.  And I’m still not right.  Um… well, Scully, Hitchcock, and Daniels.  They’re pretty much worthless, but they make good coffee.  Now, the good ones.  Rosa Diaz.  Tough, smart, hard to read, and really scary.  Charles Boyle.  He’s a grinder.  Not the most brilliant detective, but he works harder than anyone else.  He’s not physically gifted.  Amy Santiago.  She’s got seven brothers,so she’s always trying to prove she’s tough.  She and Peralta have some big bet over who gets more arrests this year.  Ever since the bet, their numbers have gone way up.  Jacob Peralta is my best detective.  He likes putting away bad buys and he loves solving puzzles.  The only puzzle he hasn’t solved is how to grow up.  I’ve talked a lot about Jake in my departmentally mandated therapy sessions.  Absolutely, sir.  Where do we start?” — Terry Jeffords

“I’m fine.  I’m fine.  Ahhh!  First of all, I think you’re kind of overdoing it with the manscaping.  But more importantly, detective, why do you refuse to take my orders seriously?  Does anyone here know why it’s so important to me that you all dress appropriately.  Hmm.  Four highly trained detectives and not one of you can solve this simple mystery.  I wanna be briefed on any new developments.  Any questions?” — Terry Jeffords

“You’re lucky, man.  I Wish I could get assigned here full-time.  You could not be farther from the action.  You’re wrong about Holt.  That man has forgotten more about being a cop than you will ever know.  In 1981, he caught the disco strangler.  The man is the real deal.  You need to listen to him.  Yes, you did.  Now just arrest Ratko.” — Terry Jeffords

“Okay, detectives, let’s get started.  Santiago, where are we with the Jay Street drug bust?  Good, take Boyle and Diaz.  Peralta, brief us on the vandalism case.  He’s already tagged three u/c vehicles.  He can clearly spot ’em.  You should take my minivan.  You all got a problem with my minivan?  ‘Cause my wife doesn’t like it either.  She wanted an SUV, but those things roll, man.  They roll!” — Terry Jeffords

“You made a mixtape?  what’s insane is how you refuse to get with the program.  There is a new sheriff in town, Jake.  Did he let you play your mixtape?  Get an ipod, man.  Mixtape.” — Terry Jeffords

“What are you doing, Peralta?  Okay, man.  It was nice working with you.  What?  There’s a penis on my minivan?” — Terry Jeffords

“Baby, I’ve got some bad news.  Someone painted a giant penis on our minivan.  No, you cannot have an SUV now.  Those things roll, baby.  They roll!” — Terry Jeffords

Amy Santiago, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Brooklyn 99, FOX Broadcasting, NBCUniversal TV, Melissa FumeroAmy Santiago, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Brooklyn 99, FOX Broadcasting, NBCUniversal TV, Melissa FumeroDetective Amy Santiago

Amy Santiago, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Brooklyn 99, FOX Broadcasting, NBCUniversal TV, Melissa Fumero“Hey!  What are you doing, weirdo?  Get it together, man.  Okay?  So the store was hit about two hours ago.  They took mostly tablets, laptops, and cameras.  I’d like a list of all your employees, whoever had access to the store.  I’d also like to apologize for my partner.  His parents didn’t give him enough attention.  And how do you know that?  You got lucky.  All right.” — Amy Santiago

“I hate this! I hate this.  Enjoy it while it lasts.  Crime techs are at the scene now.  We’re heading back then they’re done.” — Amy Santiago

“Hey, you heard anything about the new captain?  He was terrible.  You just liked him ’cause he let you do anything you wanted.  If I’m ever gonna make captain, I need a good mentor.  I need my rabbi.  Speech!  Short and sweet.  I love that guy.” — Amy Santiago

“Oh, is it?  Hmm?” — Amy Santiago

“Shell casing found here.  Two shots.  Bang, bang.  Lay off the captain.  That man is gonna be my rabbi.” — Amy Santiago

“What’s your name?  Mm-hmm.  Can you spell that, please?  Did you say ‘clay?’  All right, got it.  Have you seen this man before?  He was shot last night.  No, sir, that’s ours.  We need that.  We– and he kept it.  Wall Street Journal on the doormat… top floor apartment.  20 bucks says this guy’s like a hot, eligible bachelor.” — Amy Santiago

“That is not accurate, sir.” — Amy Santiago

“Second best.  Gonna be hard to win our bet when you’re on the bench, Peralta.  Although I did start a new category.  ‘Murderers we let go.’  And look at that.  You’re winning.  Have fun with your files.” — Amy Santiago

“No record of Ratko on the ledger.  Must’ve used cash.  I just tune it out.  It’s like a white noise machine.  When did you come out?  Okay.  Un-believable!  Oh!  Got him!” — Amy Santiago

“There are 12 keys of coke unaccounted for, but we just got a warrant to search the dealer’s apartment.” — Amy Santiago

“I studied art history too.  So basically, everoyne’s first eight guesses in hangman?” — Amy Santiago

“High ceilings, three bedrooms.  Why does every perp have a nicer place than I do?  Tacky.  Not a deal breaker, though.  I’d just repaint it.  Uh-huh.  Kitchen.  Whoa.  Jackpot.  There’s way more than 12 keys in here.  Baseboard, behind the hamper.  Green.” — Amy Santiago

“20.2 kilos.  I feel like we could round up to 21.  I’ll call the D.A. Rosa, you log this in.  Charles, maybe watch Gina.” — Amy Santiago

“How old are you in this scenario?  I say piss off Holt, so we get to watch your career end right in front of us.  Hey, Peralta, when you’re done, can you help me wrap up this massive cocaine bust I just pulled off?  Thanks.  Oh, deputy commissioner, didn’t see you there.  Sorry for interrupting.  Amy Santiago.” — Amy Santiago


Charles Boyle, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Brooklyn 99, FOX Broadcasting, NBCUniversal TV, Joe Lo TruglioDetective Charles Boyle

“I think it was flan.  Hey, Gina.  You know any scalpers?  I wanna ask Rosa to go to the Rihanna concert with me, but it’s sold out.  Yeah.  What’s your second point.  Yeah, that was my ex-wife’s type too.  Cool.  Where would I find a place that shows old movies?  Great.  Thank you.” — Charles Boyle

“Oh, man!  My muffin.  Ahh!  Oh, my head!  My muffin, my head!  And I stepped on the– on my muffin!  And my head and my muffin.” — Charles Boyle

“Hey, that’s mine.  You took it from my desk.  Thanks!  Yes, he’s a little too serious.  What do you think, Rosa?  Yeah, he seems cool.  I agree.  Jamon iberico is an amazing cured ham from Spain.  They had it at my uncle’s funeral.  I gorged myself at that funeral.  I mean, I was constipated for three days.” — Charles Boyle

“Hey, Rosa!  Rosa.  Rosa!  Um, I just happened to notice that there’s an old movie festival playing at the film forum this week.  Wanna go?  Cool!  Awesome.  There’s a bunch of movie options.  I’ll probably just go with something classic like Citizen Kane.  Good call.  Smart.  I’ll do it.  I’ll pick a better movie than Citizen Kane.” — Charles Boyle

“No surprises from the coroner.  A few gunshots, shoulder and chest.  None of the neighbors heard or saw anything.” — Charles Boyle

“Yep.  Jamon iberico.  Beneficio’s might.  You gotta brief the C.O. first.” — Charles Boyle

“Okay.  Yeah.  Okay.  So I’m–I’m Ratko.  Come on.  I’m always the victim.  Fine, fine.  Oh!  I’m Henry Morgenthau, owner of delicious and expensive hams.  Don’t I know you from the grocery store?  On it!   Ow, Ratko, ow!  Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Ratko!That’s a waste of manchego!  Jake!  Little help!  Ratko!  He’s not going anywhere, Jake!  Ratko!” — Charles Boyle

“Oh, well, just to be safe, I bought tickets to all of them.  I don’t know, I didn’t wanna mess up.  Because you’re sort of… opinionated.  So we can go see North by Northwest.  Good call.  Smart.  Keep it profesh.” — Charles Boyle

“Why don’t you just go to the movie with me?  Okay.  Well, this is awkward.  Stay down!” — Charles Boyle

“Dream team.” — Charles Boyle

“Oh, look at this.  The drug dealer got a B.A. in art history from Brooklyn college.  Interesting, huh?  Well, it;s surprising because you would think he had studied… drugs.” — Charles Boyle

“I just wanna apologize for my fellow detective’s behavior.  Okay, my granny also had the gift.  She was right.  She died two years later.  Rosa.  Yes?  Thank you.” — Charles Boyle

“Oh, no.  The cabinets are blue. The psychic predicted the drugs would be found in something blue.  She also made this really depressing prediction about my life.  And if she’s right about where we find the drugs, that means she’s right about the other thing.  What color was the hamper?  Yes.  The clothes hamper was green.  The clothes hamper was green!  Drinks on me.” — Charles Boyle

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your psychic friend’s predictions about the drug case were wrong, which means all of her predictions are wrong. We found the cocaine behind a green hamper.  Never said green or the letter ‘h.’  Lady bin?  Laundry basket.” — Charles Boyle

“Nothing.  What about you… are doing tonight?  Whelp, I hope you find something to do.  I’m gonna pee.  That’s what I’m doing tonight.  No.” — Charles Boyle

“Man, you were totally right about the cocaine, and you were also right about Rosa.  The woman I– yes, that woman.  Oh, my God.  that is a good idea.” — Charles Boyle

“I don’t know, man.  I’m lost.  The universe is a cruel and vexing puzzle.  I-I’m at the whim of the cosmos.” — Charles Boyle

“Choo.  Yes.  Um, Charlene predicted if I get out of this chair, I’d get badly hurt, so I’m not chancing it.  Oh, man.  There’s no pudding cups left.  Ah!  What’d you do that for?” — Charles Boyle

“Carlene was wrong, Gina.  Rosa said it herself– I’m in charge of my own destiny.  That means she wants to make a move.  No, no, she punched me to prove Carlene wrong.  I know, it’s crazy.” — Charles Boyle

“I’m a textbook people-pleaser. I have a serious problem.” — Charles Boyle

Gina Linetti, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Brooklyn 99, FOX Broadcasting, NBCUniversal TV, Chelsea PerettiAdministrator Regina “Gina” Linetti

“Okay, two points to make here.  First, Rihanna… you… and then Rihanna.  She’s got a type.  Which is really anyone but you.  Look, a Rihanna concert’s a pretty big swing, man.  I don’t know.  Sh’es into watching old movies.  Oh, yeah, just go on the internet and search for the phrase ‘I want to buy two movie tickets for a girl who doesn’t like me.’  Good.  He’s so suave.  Does anyone get a little bit of a gay vibe?  No?  Okay.” — Gina Linetti

“I will tell you on six conditions.  Number one, you let me use your office to practice my dance moves.  Second– mm-hmm.  Oh, that sounds great.  Okay, the deal is if Amy gets more arrests, Jake has to give her his car.  It’s an old mustang, and it’s pretty sweet.  If he gets more arrests, she has to go on a date with him.  He guarantees it will end in sex.  I bet on at least some over-the-clothes action.  At the very least, some touching… caresses.  I could see him showing up in a silk robe.  All right.” — Gina Linetti

“Excuse me.  I know I’m just a lowly civilian administrator, but I couldn’t help overhearing you’re looking for some missing drugs?  As it turns out, my friend here, Carlene, is a psychic, and she’s ready to help you.  What?  She’s the real deal.  E.G., last week, she predicted I would have a sensuous encounter with a guy named Mark.  And I did.” — Gina Linetti

“Is anyone here named Mark?  You’re good.  Okay, she’s had visions which, frankly, science cannot account for.  Also, she can get you amazing deals on ladies’ footwear.  She’s assistant manager at Leonard’s designer shoes.  She sees blue.  Say ‘thank you’ Charles.  She just told you your future.” — Gina Linetti

“No, sorry.  Don’t feel like it, no.  Mm-mm. No way.  She’s never wrong.  Mm-hmm, she said ‘blue and ‘yellow,’ Charles.  I don’t now if there’s any kindergartners present, but those two colors combined make green.  She also mentioned the letters ‘l’ and ‘b,’ and another name for a hamper is… oh, little boo-boo.  Can you go be depressed over there?  You’re bumming out my whole area.” — Gina Linetti

“Or we could round down to 20, take the extra 0.2, sell it to our friends.  Carlene.” — Gina Linetti

“The woman who doesn’t love him back.  I should probably wheel you back to your desk.  Wheel you off a bridge.  I’m kidding.” — Gina Linetti

“Hey, everyone.  Hey, Jake, there is a very sexy, angry official here, deputy commissioner Podolski.  He’s asking for you.  Very angry.  Elderly, sexy, furious.” — Gina Linetti

“Mm, but Carlene was also right.  You did get hurt ’cause Rosa punched you.  And the fact that Rosa punched you means she does not like you.  Oh, wait, I take it back.  She definitely is into you.  So much chemistry.” — Gina Linetti

“Hi, Gina Linetti, the human form of the 100 emoji.” — Gina Linetti

Ray Holt, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Brooklyn 99, FOX Broadcasting, NBCUniversal TV, Andre BraugherCaptain Raymond Jacob “Ray” Holt

Ray Holt, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Brooklyn 99, FOX Broadcasting, NBCUniversal TV, Andre BraugherOUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES

3 nominations: 2014, 2015, 2016

“Is that what you think?  Now don’t let me interrupt.  You were describing what kind of person I’m gonna be.  I’d like you to finish.  Now do the robot voice.  The robot voice you were doing when you implied I’m a rule-following robot.  I wanna hear it again.  That’s a terrible robot voice.  The next time I see you, I’d like you to be wearing a necktie.  Well, your new captain does.  And more importantly, he cares that you follow his direct orders.  Everyone, I’m your new commanding officer, captain Ray Holt.  That was my speech.  Sergeant Jeffords, a word.” — Ray Holt

“Sergeant, you were in the 1-8 with me… though you were significantly– titties, yes.  I remember.  I never liked that nickname.  Though to be fair, it was accurate.  What’s this I hear about you being on administrative leave?  They have adorable chubby cheeks.  Tell me about your detective squad.  Copy that.  Tell me about Peralta.  That was very well put.  Look, you know my history.  You know how important this is to me.  This precinct is doing fine, but I wanna make it the best one in Brooklyn.  And I need your help.  We start with him.” — Ray Holt

“Speaking of ties, where’s yours, meep morp?  I like to know what my detectives are up to.  That okay by you?  Take Santiago and knock on doors.  See if the neighbors heard anything.  Diaz and Boyle.  Check the coroner.  Report back to me in an hour.  No, it didn’t.” — Ray Holt

“So Gina… civilian administrators like yourself often have their ear to the ground.  What do Santiago and Peralta have riding on this bet of theirs?  How about this?  If you tell me… I won’t have you suspended… without pay.  No, that’s enough, Gina.  That’s enough, Gina.  Thank you.” — Ray Holt

“All right, hit the pawn shops and canvass the neighborhood.  And while you’re out, you can buy yourself a tie.” — Ray Holt

“It’s over, disco man!  Put down the yo-yo and back away from the girl.” — Ray Holt

“So you found something?  Hey, I like the tie.  That’s fine work, detective.  You know what, such fine police work, let’s share it with the whole team.  Santiago!  Boyle!  Diaz!  Get in here!  Bring everyone!  And a camera!  Let’s have a hand for the work of the fine master detective, Jake Peralta.  Yeah, let’s have a hand, everyone.  Give him a hand.” — Ray Holt

“Does he always talk this much?  Because I’m gay.  I’m surprised you didn’t know.  I don’t try to hide it.  About 25 years ago.  The NYPD was not ready for an openly gay detective.  But then the old guard died out.  Suddenly they couldn’t wait to show off the fact that they had a highly ranking gay officer.  I made captain.  But they put me in a public affairs unit.  I was a good solider.  I helped recruitment.  But all I ever really wanted was my own command.  And now I finally got it. And I’m not gonna screw it up.  Good one.  Clear.  Clear.  Maybe now’s not the best time, detective.  He’s running!  What’s wrong with you?” — Ray Holt

“You’re three minutes late, Peralta.  Good idea.  Everyone?  Gather round, so I can all out Peralta in front of you.  Oh, it’s more than one thing.  Let’s start with the Kristov murder.  You also mislabeled the evidence, so that confession is worthless if the sergeant hadn’t caught your mistake.  Here are three cases with sloppy paperwork.  Here are two pictures.  One is your locker.  The other is a garbage dump in the Philippines.  Can you tell which is which?  They’re both your locker.  This folder is labeled ‘undies, dirty.’  You also have more mice living in your desk than any other detective.  Get rid of the mouse, and get your act together now.” — Ray Holt

“I assume you have a plan to catch this gentleman.  That’s a good idea, sergeant.  We’ll take the van.  It’s not backup.  It’s babysitting.” — Ray Holt

“You were late again.  Angry captain.  I’m just concerned that you may find it hard to pursue a criminal on foot while wearing man sandals.  You think I wanna be sitting here with you instead of running my precinct?  It was a rhetorical question.  I’ve spent that last 12 years fighting for my command, and I’m not gonna let you screw it up because you refuse to take your job seriously.  Well, so does doing your paperwork, showing up on time, wearing proper footwear.  Well, so here’s the deal.  You’re gonna have a superior officer babysitting you on every one of your cases.  And when you show me that you can do your job– every part of your job– perfectly, then I’ll back off.” — Ray Holt

“It’s ‘more perfectly,’  You said that imperfectly.  NYPD, freeze!  Already got him.” — Ray Holt

“Good, I’m anxious to read it.  Anything else, detective?” — Ray Holt

“Deputy Commissioner’s son, huh?  His decision to target cop cars makes a lot more sense now.  He defaced nine police vehicles, and you caught him red-handed.  Why would you let him walk?  You’re the arresting officer.  It’s your call.  I told you to do every part of your job, and making this call is part of your job.  Mm-hmm.  Mm-hmm.  Yes.” — Ray Holt

“Why is there yogurt on this?  Terry loves yogurt.  Something wrong?  No, I wouldn’t say he was lucky.  I feel bad for this kid.  I mean, what kind of father cares so little for his son that he lets him get away with everything?  Well, he’s someone else’s problem now.  Like you said, it’s out of your hands.  You want back up?” — Ray Holt

“Commissioner, please don’t talk to my detective in that tone.  If you have a complaint, you can take it up with me.  You’re gonna have to try a little harder if you wanna scare me.  I’ve been an openly gay cop since 1987, so you’re not the first superior officer to threaten me.  You know how I’m still standing here?  ‘Cause I do my job, and I do it right.  Don’t say ‘son.'” — Ray Holt

“All right, let’s get this meeting started.  You’re out of uniform, Peralta.” — Ray Holt


Captain McGinley, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Brooklyn 99, FOX Broadcasting, NBCUniversal TV, Mike HagertyCaptain McGinley

“What the hell’s going on around here?  Okay.” — Captain McGinley

“Hey!  What the hell’s going on here?  Okay.” — Captain McGinley

Hitchcock, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Brooklyn 99, FOX Broadcasting, NBCUniversal TV, Dirk BlockerHitchcock

“No!  That takes all the fun out of it.  It’s Scully.  He got you a scarf.  I’ll make him return it.” — Hitchcock

“Oh, that’s what he’s been drawing.  But what are those little round things at the bottom?” — Hitchcock

“None taken.  No, none taken.” — Hitchcock

Scully, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Brooklyn 99, FOX Broadcasting, NBCUniversal TV, Joel McKinnon MillerScully

“Careful.  That stuff’s pretty hot.” — Scully

“That’s the butt.” — Scully

“Yeah?  The Podolski kid?  Are you kidding?  I just gave him my lunch.” — Scully

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