Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Susan Sarandon, Jessica Lange

Congenial Conflict

FX Networks‘ original anthology drama Feud won two Primetime Emmys this year.

#Feud season 2 will focus on Charles and Diana the prince and princess of Wales.

rottentomatoes: 91%

imdb: 8.6

metacritic: 81

emmys: 2 wins


Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Susan Sarandon, Jessica Lange

Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TVFeud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TVFeud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TVFeud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TVFeud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TVJoan Crawford, Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Jessica LangeJoan Crawford, Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Jessica LangeJoan Crawford

Oscar winning actress Joan Crawford is pitted against her co-star Bette Davis so as to mutually elevate their creative capacities whilst filming the 1962 psychological thriller Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?.

Joan Crawford, Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Jessica LangeOUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A LIMITED SERIES OR MOVIE

1 nomination: 2017

“I’ve got great tits, too, but I don’t throw them in everyone’s face.  I’m gonna go back inside.  Stop it!” — Joan Crawford

“Is there anything we can do about these lines?  I’m afraid I’m gonna be served for Thanksgiving dinner.  Christ, Nonah, can’t you give me some hope?  What?  Oh, Jesus.  Hedda.  You know I never receive unscheduled guests, not even my children.  But here you are.  Did I?  Mamacita?  Coffee.  Well, it was a marvelous event.  I do so appreciate the foreign press.  They’ve been so very kind to me.  Well, you know how those awards dinners can be.  I must’ve eaten something that disagreed with me.  Hedda, you now, when I’m out in public events like that, I only drink Pepsi-Cola.  I am the brand ambassador.  You wouldn’t print those lies.  All right.  Then print this: Joan Crawford, after mourning the passing of her husband, the beloved Alfred Steele, is ready to get back to work.  There can only be room for one it girl.  Is that right?  Well, men may have built the pedestal, but it’s the women who keep chipping away at it until it comes tumbling down.” — Joan Crawford

“All right.  I think that Marilyn Monroe and the vulgarity of her clothing and pictures is ruining this great industry that I love.  People don’t want to see stars like Monroe in pictures.  They want their stars to be wholesome, with good morals.  Like me.” — Joan Crawford

“This, my friend, is the Academy Award for Best Actress I won in 1945 for Mildred Pierce.  And I would like another one.  And do you know what I need, Marty, to make that happen?  A great script.  I want to work now that Al’s dead.  I want to work, Marty.  I need to work.  No.  It was a pilot.  I had to do my own makeup, and it wasn’t even picked up to series.” — Joan Crawford

“I can’t play Elvis’ grandmother.  I won’t do it.  Maybe you better send me some other scripts.  Marty, I am an actress, I want to act.  I’m at the top of my game right now.” — Joan Crawford

“Oh, Mamacita.  Good.  Everything written for women seem to fall into just three categories: ingénues, mothers, or gorgons.  We’ll find something.  No, no, Mamacita, nothing Sapphic.  What did you tell them?  These are lean times, Mamacita, but we’ll get through them.” — Joan Crawford

“Yes?  Bob.  Tea?  Sally, dear?  Will you go in the house and see if Mamacita needs any help?  Well, if they’re going to hang around all day, I’m going to put them to work.  If you can satisfy my demands.  We did pretty well the last time.  Autumn Leaves made millions.  It would have made $2 million more if you’d gotten me Brando.  Now, you listen to me on this picture.  I’ll get you the perfect costar.” — Joan Crawford

“Bette.  Well, you, of course.  Oh, you were wonderful tonight.  You lit up the stage.  I can’t believe you didn’t get better reviews.  New York critics, they don’t like us Hollywood people coming in, taking over their town.  I say screw ’em.  Guess what, Bette.  I have finally found the perfect project for the two of us.  It’s always been my dream to work with you.  Do you remember how I backed Jack Warner to put us together in Ethan Frome?  You do remember.  But this is different.  These are the parts of a lifetime.  Bullshit.  I know what kind of offers you’ve been getting.  Exactly none, because the same is true for me.  They’re not making women’s pictures anymore.  Not the kind we used to make.  But we won’t.  If something’s going to happen, we have to make it happen.  No one’s looking to cast women our age.  But together, they wouldn’t dare say no.  We need each other, Bette.  Read it.  Find out.  Oh, I-I’m offering you the title role.  You can call it that.” — Joan Crawford

“Which is wonderful for me, Jimmy.  Usually, I play the bitch, but this time, I can sit back and watch Bette do it.  Get the car, Mamacita.  You know, I expected more from you, Bob, I truly did, though why I don’t know.  Starting with my no-good father, who ran of with a stripper from Galveston, to Louis B. Mayer, I have been lied to and cheated on by men my entire life.  I don’t know why you should be any different.  She’s getting 600 more dollars a week in expenses than I am.  Now, I cannot go into this project feeling resentment for my costar.  Not after it was my idea to throw this party in the first place.  I bet you never treated Kirk Douglas like this, did you, on the Last Sunset?  You understand, don’t you, Bob?  It’s not about the money.  It’s about trust.  I want $1,500.” — Joan Crawford

“Come to mama.” — Joan Crawford

“She actually claimed she coined the term ‘Oscar.’  Can you believe that?  Back when she nabbed the award for Dangerous in ’35, she told the press that its posterior reminded her or her first husband’s ass.  His middle name was Oscar.  No one ever called him that.  It was just more of her bullshit.  Her name was Harmon.  Everyone called him Ham.  What?  It keeps my elbows supple.  Oh, that is not true.  Oh, don’t you think I’ve tried?  Back when she won that Oscar, I was the first person to send a congratulatory note and a bouquet.  And you know that I never heard back.  Not a word.  Radio silence.  and this after she tried to screw my boyfriend.  Franchot was her costar in that picture, you know.  She knew he was mine.  That’s why she tried to take him away.  But he rejected her advances, of course.  told me everything.  So then I married him, out of spite.  Do you realize that Bette Davis is responsible for one of my failed marriages?  Personally responsible.” — Joan Crawford

“Friends?  You think it’s friendship I want from her?  Is that what you think?  You’re wrong.  It’s respect.  It’s the only thing I have ever wanted from her.  Or any of them, for that matter.  And it’s the one thing I’ve never gotten.  It took me until Mildred Pierce to be taken seriously as an actress.  And when I won my Oscar, do you think I received any congratulatory notes or bouquets?  No.  Mm.  But I did.  From men.  Men whose admiration I already had and whose respect I never craved.  But not the women.  None of the bitches in this town.  Least of all queen bitch, who always thought she was better than me, more talented than me.  I admire her talent and her craft.  And I will have her respect.  Even if I have to kill both of us to get it.” — Joan Crawford

“Billy, how is that new baby.  Fred!  Oh, looks like you’ve lost some weight.  Pablo, how is your mother, dear?  Dave.  How lovely to see you again after all these years.  And dirty.  Okay, Mamacita, let’s go to work.” — Joan Crawford

“To us.  Together at last.  Terrified.  I haven’t done a film in… you know, when I drove on the lot this morning, saw the crew bustling about, sets being built, the smell of sawdust… it’s magic what we do, isn’t it?  Do you really think so?  I beg your pardon?” — Joan Crawford

“Thank you, Jimmy.  Are you talking about me?  Don’t tell me how to play my character before I’ve even shot a scene.  I have done a lot of hard work and preparation, and you are just trying to throw me.  You want me to look bad, but I won’t do it.  My fans show up to a Joan Crawford picture expecting to see Joan Crawford.  Mr. Aldrich, will you please escort Miss Davis back to her dressing room so she can work on her character?  Or shall I get out of this wheelchair and walk off the set?” — Joan Crawford

“Okay.  Yeah.  We should’ve held that shot a little longer.  I told him that when we were rehearsing, also when we shot it.  But he wouldn’t listen.  Still… it’s a pretty good picture.  Yeah?  Let’s do another one, Bob.  Right away.  I’m just getting warmed up.” — Joan Crawford

“No, I just think there are too many words in this section, Bob.  God, I miss the silent pictures.  Christ!  She can’t be serious.” — Joan Crawford

“Bob, isn’t that lighting unnecessarily harsh?” — Joan Crawford

“Just the two of us?  Just a glass.  Vodka.  100 proof.  I say if you’re going to drink, drink something you like.  Are you?  Oh, Bette, of course.  I mean, she plays the title role.  It only makes sense.  You know, Hedda, I have been wanting to work with Bette since 1944, when I first went to Warner Brothers.  And when I found What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?, I sent it to Bob Aldrich and told him in no uncertain terms that this was for Bette and me only.  Such a lovely thing to say.  Ah.  Oh, how lovely.  What are you serving for dessert?” — Joan Crawford

“Jane, I’m only trying to explain the way things are.  And if it weren’t… If… now, if I weren’t in this chair… so close.  Sometimes you need to hit it square in the jaw.  You know, Bob, I was thinking.  We need to pack the bags of the girl next door.  She’s moving out.  I have co-star approval.  That’s right.  And she never will be.  You wanted to see me.  Whatever you say.  Only let’s not fight.  We have to support each other, Bette.  I’m worried our director isn’t taking care of us, so we have to take care of each other.  I’m going to be blunt, Bette.  Aldrich is a lady-killer.  He likes young blondes.  Well, not now, of course.  But what happens when he starts sleeping with her?  Suddenly she has more lines and scenes than you do.  Now, I’ve asked him to replace her with someone less showy, less likely to pull focus, but he refused.  ‘Course, you have more scenes with her than I do, so… perhaps I’m being out of line.  You know, Bette, I just wanted to say… I think what you’re doing with this part is incredibly brave.” — Joan Crawford

“Cut!  I’m sorry.  Can someone ask an executive to come down to the stage, please?  I’m so confused.  We… we’re on our honeymoon.  We’re recruited by the British Secret Service to stop the Nazis.  Right?  Does this make sense to anyone?  Can someone explain it to me?” — Joan Crawford

“Listen, Louis.  Either I play that egghead dame, or I walk.” — Joan Crawford

“Thank you, daddy.  Tchin tchin.” — Joan Crawford

“I never said that.  I agree with Bette.  The writing doesn’t begin to capture how women get under each other’s skin.  The intent is there, but the execution is lackluster.  How do you like that– ‘anxiously’ awaiting?” — Joan Crawford

“Bette is just amazing.  Oh, she’s going to win all the awards this year.  Hedda.  Hedda, we told you before, we’re getting on like a house on fire.” — Joan Crawford

“I let the fans tell me when a film is successful, not the critics.” — Joan Crawford

“I have been in competition with that goddamn woman my entire career.  A constant battle.  For men, for roles, for magazine covers.  And I don’t know why.  I was the bigger star.  My leading men were more attractive.  My pictures made more money.  And yet I was always made to feel inferior.  After years of working so hard to be an ambassador for Hollywood, to be part of this community, while she gives the industry the finger from her moldy home in Connecticut.  And yet, when presented with the opportunity, they nominate her… instead of me.  It’s so fucking humiliating.” — Joan Crawford

“Well, I don’t know, Bette.  I think you sell the believability with your performance.” — Joan Crawford

“I have been working day and night to prepare for this role.  You have no idea how much harder I have to work to be taken seriously as an actress.  I didn’t get my start in the theater, like Miss Bette Davis.  I broke in shaking my fringe in nightclubs.  I’d come home after a gig with scotch on my dress, and I’ll always have that stain on me and I’ll always have to prove them wrong, and I can’t…” — Joan Crawford


Bette Davis, Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Susan SarandonBette Davis, Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Susan SarandonBette Davis

Two-time Academy Award winning actress Bette Davis would collaborate with her colleague Joan a second time on the 1964 film Hush…Hush Sweet Charlotte.

Bette Davis, Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Susan SarandonOUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A LIMITED SERIES OR MOVIE

1 nomination: 2017

“Cocktails, anybody?  What?!  Who is it?  You’re fucking kidding me.  Lucille, what the hell brings you to the theater?  Make it quick, Lucille, I’ve got a car waiting to take me to the country.  With Mr. Gary Cooper.  You wanted to play the pretty young servant girl, and I was to play the old hag of a wife.  Forget it.  No, thanks, Lucille.  I’ve got plenty of better offers.  It’s all cyclical.  They’ll come back in fashion.  So what the hell happened to her anyway, Baby Jane?  The lead?” — Bette Davis

“Thank you.  B.D.  Did you fuck Joan Crawford?  Oh, I see someone has been a good little boy and done all his homework.  Keep talking.  All right, answer this question, and don’t lie– why this picture?  I’ll get back to you, Bob.” — Bette Davis

“She’s full of venom and doesn’t mince words.  We have nothing in common.  Why, thank you, Lucille.” — Bette Davis

“Make yourself useful for once.  Day five I get to kick her right in the head.  I can’t wait.  So what brings you crawling back to Hollywood?  Another guest shot on Wagon Train?  Oh.  Well, that should be easy for you.  Our whole marriage was a Twilight Zone.  You went to bed with Margo Channing and you woke up with me.  You wanted me to starch your shirts and greet you at the door with a martini in hand and ask, ‘how did your day at work go, darling?’  I’m the one that needed a wife.  You goddamned prick!  Who would have you, you broken-down has-been?  You drunk.” — Bette Davis

“Christ, she’s at it again.  Sucking up to the goddamn crew so she gets better lighting and props.  Before noon, Lucille?  Got enough for two?  At last.  Nervous?  Three years, Joan.  You haven’t worked in three years.  All right, let’s cut through the bullshit.  I don’t like you, you don’t like me.  But we need this picture to work.  Both of us.  All I ask is that you do your best work.  Try.  Because when you’re good, Joan, goddamnit, you’re good.  Oh, Christ, you’re not going to cry.  Yes, I really think so.  I’ve always thought so.  Oh, one last thing.  Lose the shoulder pads.  And cut back on the lipstick.  You’re playing a recluse who hasn’t seen the sun for 20 years, for Christ’s sake.” — Bette Davis

“Yeah, I’m just offering some ideas.  I’m trying to help you.  This is not a Joan Crawford picture.  Did you see her?  She’s ridiculous, Bob.  She’s got falsies on under there.  Fine.  Handle it.” — Bette Davis

“These are wrong.  I want her to look demented.  This one.  Clara Bow beauty mark.” — Bette Davis

“Hello, daddy.” — Bette Davis

“Scotch.  It’s an ambush.  She’s out for blood.  You gonna give it to her?  Fish Jell-O.  Goody.  Both roles are tremendously important.  I was thrilled.  Think of it, Joan Crawford as a big star when I arrived fresh off the boat.” — Bette Davis

“What?  Yeah.  Forget the little daily gifts, Lucille.  I’m going to be much too busy working to shop for anything in return.  What the hell does that mean?  You’re the one that hired the goddamn director.  The cookie that’s playing the neighbor.  I saw her.  She’s not a threat.” — Bette Davis

“I’m going home sick, Bob.  I am.  I’m sick to my stomach because of you.  I thought you wanted to work with Crawford and me because you respected us.  Because you wanted our opinions.  But clearly, you don’t.  And that just makes me want to vomit.  Crawford wants that woman that’s playing the neighbor gone, and I have to agree.  You’re casting with the wrong head, Bob.  She’s not an actress, she’s not going to elevate the material.  I mean, look at her.  I want her gone.  Then I’m going home sick.  I forgot my purse.” — Bette Davis

“I know what you’re doing, Jack, giving Crawford all my roles to control me, make me insecure.  I didn’t want to play the mother of a teenager.  Where I play a neglected wife in a black fright wig who tries to abort her child by throwing herself down a hill and then dies?  Let me guess, Lana Turner?  Judy Garland?  Ava Gardner?” — Bette Davis

“What a dump.” — Bette Davis

“I hate the breakfast scene.  Too much exposition.  I don’t need subtext, Bob, I need good text.  You work on that, Bob.  See what you can do.  We’ll anxiously be awaiting a rewrite.” — Bette Davis

“I’m not interested in vanity, I’m not interested in gossip.  I’m interested in the work.” — Bette Davis

“She infuriates me, I just want to smother her with my performance.” — Bette Davis

“Don’t get me wrong.  I am not opposed to blood and guts, all right?  I mean, Shakespeare, for Christ’s sake, he had a woman eat her sons in a pie, but there is a fine line between art and trash, and that line is plausibility.” — Bette Davis

“Oh, you have no idea what it’s like to be a woman in this business, with the constant scrutiny and competition.” — Bette Davis


B.D. Merrill / Hyman, Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Kiernan ShipkaB.D. Merrill / Hyman

“Maybe she’s just being nice, mother.” — B.D. Merrill

“My God, mother, is that how you really want to look?” — B.D. Merrill

Hedda Hopper, Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Judy DavisHedda Hopper


 1 nomination: 2017
“Hedda Hopper for Joan.  She’s had enough time to sleep it off.  Announce me.  Well, you ran out of the Globes last night before I could get a quote.  I didn’t come here for the boilerplate, Joan.  From what I hear, you stumbled out of there in a drunken fit.  Crow?  Had to have been pretty galling, watching the foreign press fawn all over Monroe like that.  I don’t know why you keep plugging that shitty sugar water.  Word is, since Al died, the board isn’t paying your bills anymore, and you’re having to sell your custom Billy Haines furniture piece by piece just to keep the lights on.  Got to print something.  Oh, come on, Joan.  Give me a quote.  You know my readers would be fascinated with hearing the thoughts of yesterday’s it girl about today’s. Well, men built the pedestal, darling, not me.  There’s only room for one goddess at a time.  So what’s it gonna be, honey?  A quote on Monroe, or am I gonna have to write about how a valet saw you stumble into a Cadillac?  Good.” — Hedda Hopper
“That’s not the only difference between you and her.  She’s getting roles.” — Hedda Hopper
“Welcome to the house that fear built.  Come on in.  The three of us.  Oh, didn’t I specify that in my invitation?  I suppose you expected one of my legendary dinner parties.  No, Gloria and Jimmy Stewart and the Fondas are on Wednesday.  Tonight it’s just us gals.  Sit down, please.  The sofa’s comfy.  Can I get you ladies something to drink?  I take it that’s not Pepsi-Cola.  I’ll be right back. Dining room’s through there.  I hope you gals brought your appetites.  No, it’s aspic, darling.  It’s all the rage.  I thought it’d be the perfect dish for our little tête-à-trois.  Something substantial, but transparent.  All right, ladies.  You know what I need, and you know what the fans want.  So feel free to let ‘er rip.  So, who gets top billing?  Fascinating.  We’re skipping dessert.  I’m already getting diabetes.” — Hedda Hopper
“Are you two gals really getting along together?  Come on, you can tell Hedda.” — Hedda Hopper

“Hi, Bill.  Oh, Roger, hi.  Nancy, you look beautiful.  Barbara, how are you?  Hello, Bob.  Mm.  Really, Bob?  That’s it?  Oh, I think you’ve got me confused with Adela Rogers St. Johns.  I came here for red meat, not pabulum.  No one wants to read about how those two battle-axes make nice with each other.  You know who you remind me of?  Not John Ford.  Now, there’s a man who commands not only a movie set, but his own press.  He knows how to play the game.  Which is why he’s as vital now as he was before talkies.  Where are you, Bob?  Three bombs.  You want to go back to directing television?  This picture could make you relevant again.  Well, I hope dignity pays your gas bill.  Blind item, my specialty.  Oh, I’m all ears.  Perky?  She wears falsies?  Ha!  Says those things are hard as rocks.  Oh, that’s great.  ‘Chip a tooth.'” — Hedda Hopper

Robert Aldrich, Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Alfred Molina

Robert Aldrich


1 nomination: 2017

“And action!  Cut!  Cut!  Plywood.  You get them plywood in there… plywood.  Plywood.  Plywood.  Plywood.  Plywood!  If I make another sandal saga, put a bullet in my head.  Gretchen, my love.  How’s my little strudel?  What?  No, no, you can’t come down here today.  Why?  Because my kids are working on the set, that’s why.  What if word got back to my wife?  Yeah.  I’ll call you back.  Christ.  She wants to be in the movie now.  This movie we’re making, Pauline, it is a piece of crap.  Hey, what about that espionage script?  A horror picture?  Where’d you get this?” — Robert Aldrich

“Joanie.  If we’re gonna talk business, I’m gonna need a real drink.  One of your fans?  So, are we gonna make this picture?  Can anybody, Joanie?  It would have made a million more if you’d gotten off your goddamn high horse and let me mess you up a little.  Who do you have in mind?” — Robert Aldrich

“No, I did not fuck her.  Not that I didn’t have ample opportunity.  We all know what special relationship Joan has with her directors.  Oh, come on, Bette.  William Wyler?  Bette, listen, here’s the deal.  Crawford’s name on the marquee gets us distribution.  I need her to get the picture made, but I need you to make the picture great.  Bette, listen, I’ve made my share of steaming piles of shit, but every now and again I get a chance to work with an artist like you.  Someone who isn’t afraid to leap off a cliff.  Most people are terrified to go anywhere near the edge.  Now, that gets me excited.  I-I’m a kid again.  Everything’s possible.  Bette, I promise you this is gonna be the greatest horror movie ever made.  And Baby Jane’s the greatest part you’ll play since Margo Channing.  Honestly?  I’m not being offered anything else.  You’re too big for Broadway, Bette.  Come back to Hollywood, where you belong.” — Robert Aldrich

“Fantastic.  Well, Katherine Hepburn’s the same age as Davis.  I think she’s a year older.  Oh, that’s terrific.  Not really.  It’s not really a story about a sexy neighbor girl.  No, I-I won’t take no for an answer, Ed.  These two women are legends.  They’ve got millions of fans across the globe who would pay good money just for the chance to see them together on-screen.” — Robert Aldrich

“I don’t know.  Yes.  No.  Not last, Jack… inevitable.  It’s kismet that we make the movie here.  Warner Brothers is the studio where both Davis and Crawford worked when they were still under contract.  I-it’ll be like a homecoming.  You know, I can see the headlines.  They’re still big stars.  Oh, come on, Jack.  What does that mean?  She just wanted better parts, Jack.  A say in her own destiny.  You’re gonna make my picture, Jack.  You need it.  Television is kicking your ass.  And the movies you’re making, they’re all bombs.  Crowded Sky?  Bomb.  Fever in the Blood– you couldn’t even give tickets away.  And you know why?  You got no stars.  I got a great script that I wrote myself, a script I believe in.  And I’ve got a genre television isn’t doing, Jack– horror.  We got most of our financing from Seven Arts.  I just need you to release the picture in your theaters.  You’ll be the single largest profit participant.  I’ll pay you first.” — Robert Aldrich

“I told you, together they’re an event.  Joan, you didn’t sign the contract.  What are you talking about, Joan?  It’s an oversight, Joan.  I’ll take care of it.  I promise.  Of course.” — Robert Aldrich

“Look, just give me a chance to talk to her.  We can work this out… no.  I’ll handle it.  Bette, please.  Bette, it’s the first day, okay?  May I remind you I took out a second mortgage on my house to make this picture?  So don’t look at me as if I don’t care.  I’ve got to handle her very carefully.  She’s nervous.  And we got a lot of work to do today.  We haven’t even decided on your look yet, and your first scene is straight up after lunch.  I’ve got to get that right.” — Robert Aldrich

“Joan.  Joan, now, in this scene.  Blanche is looking at one of her early pictures on TV.  There’s your mark right there.  Ready?  Camera’s rolling.  Cut.  That’s great work, Joan.  Oh, yeah.” — Robert Aldrich

“All right, all right!  Everybody back to work!  Back to work.” — Robert Aldrich

“Oh, we haven’t balanced the footage yet, Joan.  Don’t worry.  Don’t worry about it.” — Robert Aldrich

“Wh…. Oh, Joan, I-I don’t have time to recast.  We’re shooting tomorrow.  She’s not a co-star.  Bette?  Bette?  Where are you going?  Your big scene’s up next.  You don’t look sick.  What are you talking about?  Her audition was wonderful.  I won’t do it.  Goddamn it!” — Robert Aldrich

“Oh, there’s my star.  I love that scene.  No, she’s rubbing Blanche’s nose in it.  She stole her limelight.  You got to use that underneath.  Bette, it’s today’s work, it’s a good scene, and Joan likes it.  Yeah, and to think only last week they were wishing each other dead.” — Robert Aldrich

“What year was that?  Aw, typical stuff, you know.  Bette’s always fighting me for another close-up, Joan’s always fighting me to take it out.  But they’re burning up the screen, Jack.  You should have paired them years ago.  Well, j-just by one day.  We just started.  I’ll make it up.  Ha ha!  Oh, you got me.  400?  Are you crazy?  What– why?  Yeah, yeah, we can keep the publicity machine going.  I’ll give your PR people full access to the set.” — Robert Aldrich

“It’s not just about morale, it’s also about respect– I’ve lost both.  Ever since I fired that tomato who was playing the neighbor girl, the whole crew knows that I was pushed into it.  The whole crew knows Crawford and Davis are running the show– they double-teamed me.  I’m telling you, Harriet, Jack Palace and Lee Marvin would never have pulled this shit.  Yeah, well , that makes them half as cunning and nowhere near as ruthless.  Yeah, they’re not getting along.  They’re just teaming up.  It’s like the Hitler/Stalin pact.  You know, maybe Warner’s got the right idea.  He wants to leak some dirt to the gossip columns, you know, get a little catfight going.  Well, it could get a lot of pre-release publicity that way.  Anyway, pitting them against each other might be just the way to control them.  But not by each other.  I can support ’em both.  What the hell is that supposed to mean.  Harriet, where are you getting this from?  Well, it’s bullshit.” — Robert Aldrich

“And let me just say again what a thrill it is for me to be directing these two legends on screen.  That’s it.  I’ll leave it up to you to spruce up the adjectives.  Well, what can I tell you, Hedda?  They’re both consummate professionals.  I have too much dignity to get into the gutter with you, Hedda.  All right, wait, wait.  I might have something, but you didn’t hear it from me.  Well, it… this is about… Crawford’s tits.  Well, that’s just it.  Crawford’s all tits.  Davis has been complaining that they’re too perky.  Fake.  Yeah.  You know, Davis is a real artist.  She says she can’t play to them.  And she says she’s scared of falling onto them in the beach scene because she thinks she’ll chip a tooth.  Yeah.  Yeah, that’s great.” — Robert Aldrich

Jack Warner, Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Stanley TucciJack Warner


1 nomination: 2017

“Would you fuck ’em?  It’s a very simple question, Bobby.  Would you give either of those broads a toss in the hay?  Would you fuck ’em?  What?  Bullshit.  It’s a no, Bobby.  Sorry.  So every other studio passed on this project, huh?  And you come to me as the last resort?  I find that disrespectful.  Big has-beens, you mean.  All right, that’s good.  That’s enough, that’s good.  And big pains in my ass.  Both those women made my life a living hell when they worked for me, because they though that I worked for them.  More perks, more perks, more perks.  And always questioning the material that I wanted them to do, always.  No.  It’s true.  And you know what the worst part is?  The ingratitude. I created goddesses, Bobby.  I created goddesses.  I was Zeus and they were a couple of Aphrodites.  But you know what happens to Aphrodite when her tits start to sag and her pictures start losing money?  Or Venus, who should just look pretty and keep her mouth shut, and she starts having an opinion about everything– you know what happens to her?  Zeus picks up a lightning bolt and he hurls it right at her head and he splits it open.  That’s what happens.  I need a lunch thing.  And my clothing.  You’ve got a pretty short goddamn memory, Bobby.  That bitch Davis sued me in 1936 to get out of her contract.  She literally sued me.  Bobby, I was so upset about that, that I got an ulcer and hemorrhoids from it.  I still have them.  I’ll show them to you.  And you know what else?  I won that suit, I won it.  And she was ordered to come back to work for me… yeah, okay, fine.  But because of her selfishness and her bullheadedness, the entire studio contract system came crashing down!  The whole thing because of her!  She’s the one who put the crack in the levee, and you want me to work with her again?  Are you fucking crazy?!  Never!  Never again.  Never.  That cunt!  Her unemployment is my long-simmering revenge.  I’m s-sorry?  Oh… bad title.  I got stars.  Hmm.  No.  Yeah.  Seven Arts, yeah, yeah.  Yeah.” — Jack Warner

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.” — Jack Warner

“Oh, come on, Joan.  Let’s cut the ‘daddy’ shit, all right?  Might have worked for that fat fuck over at MGM, but you’re working for me now.  Cancel my appointments for the rest of the afternoon.” — Jack Warner

“What?  Shit.  You said you were offended that I offered it to you.  All right, well, then, there’s a lesson in all this, isn’t there, chickie?  Next time, you got to fucking trust big daddy.  But aren’t you even just a little excited about that pip of a script I sent you?  Fine.  Don’t do it.  Crawford loves it.  If you’ll excuse me, I’m late for my lunch now.  Nope.  Nope.  Joan Crawford.” — Jack Warner

“I haven’t seen this much shit since my last bowel movement. 1932.  You know the good thing about scotch, Bob, is it only gets better when it ages.  Broads… they just get sour.  So I heard that these two bitches are really busting your balls, huh, Bobby?  No, thanks.  Two world wars were enough.  But there’s something I want to talk to you about, Bobby.  The front office tells me that you’re behind schedule, and I don’t like that.  Okay.  And also, I’m not gonna release the picture the way I said I would.  I’m gonna open it bigger.  The way no one’s ever done before.  A wide release.  400 screens.  Ha ha!  Did I get you?  I got you!  I got you.  Why?  ‘Cause you’re right.  They’re burning up the screen together.  Bobby, their scenes are fucking electric.  They are fucking electric!  And let’s face it, after Psycho, horror’s the future, and we got it.  Okay, now here’s what we got to do.  There’s got to be buzz.  No, no, no, there’s got to be more than that, bubbie.  You got to keep ’em at each other’s throats.  You have to.  I’ll make sure their names are in the papers.  That’s not a problem.  But if you do this, you’ll be able to you’ll be able to write your own ticket in this town.  L’chaim, bubbeleh.  Well done, Bobby.  Come on!  Let’s go see what they’re doing.” — Jack Warner

“No!  I”m talking about what’s underneath all that scene chewing.  Pure, naked rancor.  I love it.  I want more.” — Jack Warner

Olivia de Havilland, Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Catherine Zeta JonesOlivia de Havilland

“There was never a rivalry like theirs.  For nearly half a century, they hated each other, and we loved them for it.  you know, Joan’s real name was Lucille LeSueur.  The poor thing, she was raised in utter squalor.  I mean literally.  Scrubbed toilets before coming to Hollywood.  At the peak of the Depression– that’s when I first started out– she was the woman every man wanted and every woman wanted to be.  Many think of her as the greatest star of all time.  Now, my dear friend Bette… well, she, quite frankly, was the greatest actress Hollywood had ever known.  During the war, she played all the best roles, and she played them with a… I-I don’t know how to say this, but with a ballsy intensity that none of us, actor or actress, would have dared.  You know, they only made one film together.  And how that happened and what happened afterwards, well… well, that was a story and a feud of biblical proportions.” — Olivia de Havilland

“Feuds are never about hate.  Feuds are about pain.  They’re about pain.” — Olivia de Havilland

Pauline Jameson, Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Alison WrightPauline Jameson

“Eve Braun’s on the horn.  I told her you’re busy, but she keeps calling back.  Well, that’s because she knows the only time you really pay attention to a woman is when she’s in front of your camera.  Oh, no, stinko.  I know who did it on page three.  But… this one… this one has potential.  Horror/thriller, two broads, former movie stars.  A cripple and her crazy sister battling it out in their Hollywood home.  Hitch just did it with Psycho.  Still raking it in.  But even better, Baby Jane has one set.  It’s a very small cast.  You can have final cut.  You can produce this yourself.  Face it, Bob, Ben-Hur has already been done.  Oh, it came by messenger, special delivery.  Along with this.” — Pauline Jameson

“Isn’t that a pretty picture?  They’re finally getting along.” — Pauline Jameson

“I know that it’s unorthodox, the idea of a woman director, but it’s not unprecedented.” — Pauline Jameson

“I wrote it for Joan.  Well, if it’s something you care about, you get up early, right?  I’m also a director.  At least, I think I am.  No, I-I am.   I wrote it to give myself a picture to direct, Bob.  You said you couldn’t have done Baby Jane without me.  That is what you said.  Well, I know how to cast, I know how to prep, I know how to handle the studio.  And I am good.  I’ve been there every day.  I’ve managed more disasters than the Army Corps of Engineers.  Of course, I realize there are things that I do need to learn about the camera… so then you will read it and you would consider producing?  Because some men find it off-putting, imagining a woman in charge.  Thank you, Bob.  I will not forget this.” — Pauline Jameson

Joan Blondell, Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Kathy BatesJoan Blondell

“The 1950s and early ’60s were tough times for us mature gals.  The studio system was dying out big time, and the only women who were getting hired were– well, they had big chests and small brains.” — Joan Blondell

“Say, is this documentary gonna be about all of us or just Joanie?  Is it like That’s Entertainment?  Well, honey, I’m sure both people who see it are gonna love it.  Can somebody get this girl a drink here?  Thanks, honey.  Well, what were we talking about?  Right.  But not for Joan.  Wow.  She was really something.  She barreled through that decade like a freight train.  Thanks.  Hmm.  Who cared if her costars were getting younger and younger?  She was still Joan.  Still ambitious as hell.  And making hits till she got the best offer of her career: a proposal from a widower, Al Steele, CEO of Pepsi-Cola, and one of the wealthiest men in the country.  With all that money, after 40 years of working her ass off, and sweating over every goddamn dime, she could finally exhale and live the high life.  Bette… well, she was a different story.  After All About Eve, she was on top of the world.  And she thought she’d be swamped by offers, but her biggest comeback turned into her biggest letdown.  So Bette decided to throw herself into the one role she’d never gotten right: wife and mother.  She married her All About Eve costar, Gary Merrill.  Bette was, to say the least… miscast.” — Joan Blondell

“You know why they really broke up?  Well, it wasn’t his performance in bed.  It was his performance onstage.  God, was Gary a stiff.  Just when Bette realized her marriage was about to close, she took it on the road.  You know, she fired him from the tour.  Her own husband.  And replaced him the very next day with Barry Sullivan.  When Bette had to she always picked the professional over the private.” — Joan Blondell

“I think I’m all right.  Is that a mirror?  Thank you.  You’re in my light, honey.  Did you see that… What was it?  Coming Home?  Mm-hmm, yeah.  Some kind of Vietnam War thing.  Oh, God.  Hell, those two?  They didn’t actually need a reason to hate each other.  It was chemical.  But things didn’t start to boil over until the ’40s, when they were in their 40s.  Bette’s star was rising at Warner’s, and over at MGM, Joan’s was starting to dim.  Now that Garbo and Shearer had packed it in, Joan wanted roles with dignity.  She’d had it up to here with the slatterns and shopgirl roles that made her a star.  She fought tooth and nail for the role of Marie Curie.  Two weeks later, Joan signed with Warner’s.  Warner picked up the former MGM glamour girl at closeout, everything must go bargain-basement rates.  And he still thought he was paying too much.  Warner brought Crawford in for one reason: to use as a cudgel against his problem child, Bette Davis.  Bette was the undisputed queen of the lot… …playing one Oscar-nominated role after another.  She was difficult.  Expensive.  And far too powerful, especially for a woman.  Joan was Jack’s message to Bette: you’re not the only bitch in the kennel.  And Joan wasn’t too proud to take Bette’s scraps.  Wasn’t long before she found her comeback role.  A role that Bette never would have passed on had she realized it was Oscar-worthy material.  Poor Bette.  While Joan now got the best parts for women of a certain age, it was Bette who had to play the shopgirls and the slatterns.  And it was Jack Warner who, through it all, made millions off both of ’em.  And probably always would.  Ain’t that just the way?” — Joan Blondell

“Well, not that we could’ve done anything about it.  You know how much power women had back then?  Exactly as much as got now: zippo.” — Joan Blondell


Peter, Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Reed DiamondPeter

“All right, darling.  Baby…” — Peter

“Joanie, do you have to keep doing that?  I wasn’t talking about that.  Do you realize from the time we got in the car tonight, all through dinner, and now all you’ve done is complain about Bette Davis?  It is.  And I’ll be honesty, I don’t understand it.  You two have so much in common.  More than any two other people on the planet.  Why can’t you just get along?  Yes, you mentioned it at dinner.  And yet you still wanted her to do this picture with you.  I think it’s because you two survived all that and you realize you should be friends.  You admire her.” — Peter

Marilyn Monroe, Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Alisha SoperMarilyn Monroe

“Gee.  Gosh, I just sure didn’t expect this.  You know, I always said that, if I was the star, it was because the people made me a star, and… you know, when I was a girl, I used to look out into the Hollywood sky and think, ‘gosh, I just want to be a movie star,’ you know?  And now I’m part of you.  So, thank you so much.  Gosh, I should try to thank some people, huh?  I’m just so bad at remembering names.” — Marilyn Monroe

Marty, Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Ken LernerMarty

“What’s this about?  I sent you a great script four months ago, Joan.  You did it, and you were wonderful in it.  Joan, how about this, let me read everything that’s out there, send over the highlights.  You go through the pile and find something that excites you.” — Marty

“Joanie!  That’s all I have, Joan.  That’s all they’re making.  Then you need to find a project yourself, ’cause the roles just aren’t out there.” — Marty

Mamacita, Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Jackie HoffmanMamacita


1 nomination: 2017

“Miss Crawford is occupied.  I’m sorry, Miss Joan.  Hedda Hopper’s downstairs.” — Mamacita

“I need books.  Anything with ladies on the cover.  That’s all they had.  I could try Encino next.  Unless you found something you like.  So where does that leave you?  I ran into the gardeners outside.  They want to know when they’ll get paid.  We owe them two months.  That it was an honor to prune Miss Crawford’s bush and to shut up.  This one is about a baby.  Which pile, ‘mothers?'” — Mamacita

“She’s expecting you.  She’s expecting you on the patio.” — Mamacita

“Keep practicing.  Could be faster.” — Mamacita

“Billy.  Billy.  Pablo.  Mother not so good.  It’s small.” — Mamacita

Nonah, Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Donna PieroniNonah

“The best you can do for this?  High collars.  Turtle neck for turkey neck.  Ugh, you know how it is.  Men age, they get character.  Women age, they get lost.” — Nonah

Bette Davis, Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Susan SarandonJoan Crawford, Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Jessica LangeHedda Hopper, Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Judy DavisJack Warner, Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Stanley TucciOlivia de Havilland, Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Catherine Zeta JonesRobert Aldrich, Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Alfred MolinaBette Davis, Joan Crawford, Feud, Feud: Bette and Joan, FX Networks, 20th Century FOX TV, Susan Sarandon, Jessica Lange

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