ABC Network, Black-ish

Obsidian Reminiscent

ABC Networks‘ family comedy Black-ish drops its third season finale next Wednesday.

#Blackish season 4 has not been confirmed.

Rottentomatoes: 93%

Metacritic: 77

IMDb: 7.1

Emmys : 4 nominations

Andre Johnson Sr., ABC Network, Black-ish, Anthony AndersonAndre Johnson Sr.

Andre Johnson Sr. is a married advertising executive who tries to introduce some form of cultural legacy into his nerdy, white-washed kids lives, but is unsuccessful.

Andre Johnson Sr., ABC Network, Black-ish, Anthony Anderson

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series

2 nominations: 2015, 2016

Golden Globe

1 nomination: 2017

SAG Award

1 nomination: 2017

Quote1Okay, so, I’m just your standard, unbelievably charismatic black dude.  Now, this drooling, pigment-challenged, mixed-race woman is my wife, Rainbow.  And, despite what she looks like right now, she’s a doctor.  We’re lucky.  We’ve got a great house, four great kids, and my pops.  It’s a far cry from where it all began.  That’s why I promised my parents I’d get an education, graduate, and get myself out of there.  I guess for a kid from the hood, I’m living the American dream.  The only problem is, whatever American had this dream probably wasn’t where I’m from.  And if he was, he should’ve mentioned the part about how when brothers start getting a little money, stuff starts getting a little weird — like in my neighborhood.  Sometimes I feel like a bit of an oddity.Quote2 — Andre Johnson

Quote1Sometimes I worry that, in an effort to make it, black folks have dropped a little bit of their culture and the rest of the world has picked it up.  They even renamed it ‘urban.’  And in the ‘urban’ world, Justin Timberlake and Robin Thicke are R&B Gods, Kim Kardashian’s the symbol for big butts, and asian guys are just onholdable on the dance floor.  Come on!  Big butts?  R&B and dancing?  Those were the black man’s go-to’s!  I’m definitely not complaining.  I love my life.  And not that I want to go back to the days of being the big, scary black guy.  But I have to admit — it did kind of have its advantages.Quote2 — Andre Johnson

“Even though we were close, my pops had a weird way of showing he loved me.” — Andre Johnson

“Hey, pops.” — Andre Johnson

“And by ‘weird,’ I meant he didn’t show it at all.” — Andre Johnson

Quote1Good morning, Zoey.  Why?  Nice try.  I’m not gonna let you ruin my day.  Hey, baby.  Hear that, pops?  Stevens is announcing my SVP promotion at work today.  Whoo-hoo!Quote2 — Andre Johnson

Quote1Pops, I am gonna be the first black SVP at Stevens & Lido.  This job is about more than just money to me.  It’s about breaking down barriers.  Yes, baby.  All right.  Hey, Junior.Quote2 — Andre Johnson

“You shot yourself in the foot to get out of the army.  And you were in D.C. for an Isley brothers concert.” — Andre Johnson

Quote1Why do you have to get to school so early, son?  Okay.  Work on the handle.  Lock down that point-guard spot.  Field hockey?!  Man, isn’t that a woman’s sport?  A lot of people never think about field hockey, man.  What happened?  We were hoopin’ all summer long.  I thought you were gonna try out for the team, show these Valley Glen boys the Johnson family jumper.Quote2 — Andre Johnson

“Hey, it’s not about the accuracy, son, all right?  The family is known for our form.  Look at that.  Look at that elbow.  Look at that.  Fee– w-when in Rome?  You are not in Rome!  You’re in L.A.!  You know what?  I’m not gonna let you ruin my day.  Field hockey.” — Andre Johnson

“Andy?  That’s not even close to ‘Andre.'” — Andre Johnson

Quote1I think it says, ‘I hate my father and I play field hockey.’Quote2 — Andre Johnson

Quote1There were so few of us at Stevens & Lido that being black made you feel like you were part of a little family.  So when one of us made it, it was kind of like we all did.  And right now, I was that one.  I’m not saying I was the Jackie Robinson of Stevens & Lido Advertising or anything, but, I mean, if other people were saying it, they wouldn’t be wrong.Quote2 — Andre Johnson

“Killer Kris.  This is my assistant, Kris.  Notice how I do the shake with him.  That’s because I consider him an honorary brother.” — Andre Johnson

“Hey, Kris, let me ask you a question.  Did you ever want to play the same sport your dad played in high school?  Whatever.” — Andre Johnson

Quote1This is Josh.  Um… not an honorary brother.  Just ‘Andre…’  Hmm.  Probably just like that.  Really?  You know, I’m hearing ‘historic, game-changing’ being tossed around.  Could just be office gossip.  Ha ha!Quote2 — Andre Johnson

Quote1At Stevens & Lido, there was a clear separation between lower management… and upper management.  And that always made me feel like it was us… versus them.  Even our snacks were divided.  We get cheetos and grape soda, while they always get what looks like a medieval feast.  That’s why this promotion was such a big deal.  For once, one of us was going to get a chance to be one of them.Quote2 — Andre Johnson

“Huh?!  Uh, I’m — I’m sorry.  Uh… did you say ‘urban?’  Wait.  Did they just put me in charge of black stuff?” — Andre Johnson

Quote1You know what?  Pops is right.  You know, I-I do feel like like a puppet.  I said I wanted to be the first black SVP for Stevens & Lido, when, actually, I wanted to be the first SVP who happened to be black.  No, because he’s the first black president of the United States, not the first black president of the urban United States.Quote2 — Andre Johnson

“Hey.  You two.  You knew that Obama was the first black president, right?  ‘Okay?'” — Andre Johnson

Quote1Looking at pictures… … of my urban family.  ‘Keep it real.’  O-Okay.  All — all this coming from, uh, a biracial or mixed or omni-colored-complexion whatever-it-is-they’re-calling-it-today woman who technically isn’t even really black?  Babe, you don’t get it.  This is how it starts.  Babe, Junior wants to play field hockey.Quote2 — Andre Johnson

“I– today, it’s field hockey.  Tomorrow, he’s running from the police in a white bronco.  Aha!  You think O.J. did it!  We can’t have a keeping-it-real conversation with that attitude.  Baby, the gloves didn’t fit!  Okay.” — Andre Johnson

“Maybe your right babe.   Thank you.  Mwah.  I love you, too.  You didn’t even let me get it out.  Okay, well, I’m just gonna do it.” — Andre Johnson

“Hey.  Me too.  Really looking forward to it.  Keep it real?  I thought you meant that.” — Andre Johnson

Quote1All right, listen up.  I may have to be ‘urban’ at work, but I’m still going to need my family to be black.  Not black-ish…  but black.  So we’re gonna start with some strict guidelines.  Zoey!  All right.  From heretoforth, we are going to keep it real.  So, Junior, if I hear anybody calling you ‘Schlomo’ or ‘Shmuel’ or especially ‘Andy,’ I’m gonna back you over and whoever else is saying it in my car.  Quiet!  Now, I may have to watch you play possibly the dumbest sport in the world, but I do not have to sit back and listen to you rave about other kids’ Bar Mitzvahs.  So, next Saturday, when you turn 13, you’re becoming a man, too — a black man, because I’m throwing you an African rites of passage ceremony.Quote2 — Andre Johnson

“You’re not the only one in this house with an important job.  And, as I recall, you were the one who brought up this keeping-it-real argument.  Yes, it’s your fault.  Oh, yes.  And, tomorrow, I have a very important presentation to make.  And you know what I’m gonna do when I go in there?  I’m gonna go in there, I’m gonna keep it real as — yeah, because that’s what you told me to do.  Oh, no, that’s exactly what you said.” — Andre Johnson

Quote1If she thinks I’m finished with keeping it real, I am just getting started.  And if Stevens & Lido really wants an urban SVP, I’ll give them their urban SVP.Quote2 — Andre Johnson

“Operation ‘keepin’ it real’ was in full effect, and although it was off to a rocky start, I still had high hopes.” — Andre Johnson

Quote1This ain’t no mess, pops.  This is our culture.Quote2 — Andre Johnson

Quote1No.  Stand right there and experience your roots.  Uh oh.  Okay.  Okay.  Uh, take that, son.  Take that!  Hey, Bow.  Look, baby, I had — the boy wanted a Bar Mitzvah!  Bow, I could use your support right now.Quote2 — Andre Johnson

“Hmm.  Weird.  Next time, just call my cell.  Look, Mr. Stevens failed to fully grasp the irony of my pitch so we mutually decided that we would take the weekend to figure out if… Stevens & Lido was still a perfect fit for me.  I guess, if you want to oversimplify it like that.” — Andre Johnson

Quote1Son, I realize how difficult it must be to feel like the different one at school.  But it’s also important for you to hold on to your culture and realize how special it is.  So this was all a part of your plan.  Hey, son, please — stop calling yourselves that.  So, you really do want to play basketball.  All right, little man, get in the house.  Go.Quote2 — Andre Johnson

“Hey, pops, how the hell did you keep it real with us when we were growing up?  So, I really screwed this up, didn’t I?” — Andre Johnson

Quote1If that boy wants a Bar Mitzvah, I’m gonna throw that boy a Bar Mitzvah.Quote2 — Andre Johnson

“Sometimes keeping it real means admitting you were wrong but, as a dad, still finding a way to be right.  Be damned if I’m calling him Andy, though.  Ha!” — Andre Johnson

Quote1So, that Los Angeles tourism campaign went a lot better once I realized that ‘urban’ can also mean, hip, cool, and colorful, just like my family.Quote2 — Andre Johnson

Quote1So, taking a cue from my very wise son, I decided to get my foot in the door and really make some noise.  And, just like that, I became the SVP of Stevens & Lido’s urban division.  Funny thing is — I didn’t feel urban.  I just felt like a dad who was willing to do whatever he had to for his family.  And isn’t that the American dream?Quote2 — Andre Johnson

“Every garage eventually turns into a family museum full of forgotten treasures.  And mixed in with all those memories, there’s always something that’s better off left buried.  But every now and then, amidst the garbage, you stumble across that one timeless gem.” — Andre Johnson

Quote1Hey.  Look at this.  Junior’s old mitt.  I remember the day I realized that he was not going to make me a proud father on the baseball field.  Oh, wow.  They grow up so fast.  I’m telling you.Quote2 — Andre Johnson

Quote1I accidentally walked in on Junior, as he was engaged… in hand-to-gland combat.  Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.  He came to you with this?  You and Junior had the talk without me?  Babe, how could you keep me out of the sex-talk loop?Quote2 — Andre Johnson

“Zoey hasn’t said two words to you all month.  Uh-huh.  I just might.  Right after I get into the sex-talk loop with Junior… …hater.” — Andre Johnson

“Baby, I think you’re confusing ‘pimp’ with ‘player.’  You know, that’s a common two-parent-home mistake.” — Andre Johnson

Quote1Yes.  Are we talking raw, uncut Biggie black or low-cal Drake black?Quote2 — Andre Johnson

Quote1I know I was hard on you this week, and you made some mistakes, but you didn’t quit.  I respect that.Quote2 — Andre Johnson

“You know, a-as fathers… we try to give our kids more than we had.  Sometimes that just isn’t the best thing.” — Andre Johnson

Quote1Americans are consumers.  We want the best, the baddest, the biggest… …unless, of course, the baddest is the smallest.  Then you want that, until the baddest gets bigger again.  We’re all consumers, but at the risk of stereotyping us… …black folks really get it in.  We just do.  But think about it — if you didn’t get a paycheck for 400 years… …when you did finally get one, you might want to spend it.  Of course, nowadays, that kind of attitude can get you in trouble.  That’s the thing about money.  Everybody wants to have it, but nobody wants to talk about it… …which can lead to problems.Quote2 — Andre Johnson

“That is the real world, Bow.  And our children need to know that that’s the world that they live in.” — Andre Johnson

Quote1There are certain things in life that are constants.  New Jordans always come out on Saturdays, Rihanna always has a summer hit, and white men always go bald.  For me, two of the most constant constants are my love for my family and my hatred for Bow’s.Quote2 — Andre Johnson

“Did I say my love for my family was a constant?  I meant I hate them.” — Andre Johnson

Quote1I’m just saying, life is hard.  All right?  And it can turn crazy in an instant.  And we’re not gonna always be there for Zoey.  I’m just worried that… she won’t have anything to turn to when she finds herself alone in that foxhole.Quote2 — Andre Johnson

Quote1You know what truly makes America great?  Community.  Americans understand that it takes teamwork… …to make the dream work.  This country is a giant melting pot of people… who are committed to building …a better life for everyone.  And even through we may have different mind-sets… …we all agree that if our community survives… …this country survives, only if everyone does their part.  And that’s what truly makes American great.Quote2 — Andre Johnson

Quote1I know you millennials like to live in your pretend post-racial utopia, but this is the real world.Quote2 — Andre Johnson

“Well, if you say it out loud, anything sounds crazy.” — Andre Johnson

“I’m losing my identity, Bow.  Look, when the whole world hates you, you develop armor.  You wear sagging jeans, rock chains, and expensive kicks like ‘You don’t like me?  Cool.  I don’t care what you think.’  But if I don’t have that edge then who am I?” — Andre Johnson

Quote1I waved at a bunch of white people today, and nobody called the cops.Quote2 — Andre Johnson

“It’s — It’s — It’s a lovely doll.  But, you know, we’re just dealing with numbers here, Janine.  We have enough white dolls.  You know, the black/white ratio is just — just a little off.  With everything, Janine.  Literally with everything.  You know, I’m constantly aware of how many black people are in a restaurant, how many black characters are in a movie… …and it also affects the way that we buy cereal.  Yeah, but I still buy it.  Janine, his last name is Chocula.” — Andre Johnson

“Man, no time for modesty, all right?  I killed it.” — Andre Johnson

Down-to-earth, nuanced, re-adjustable, and amorous, Andre Johnson is an Artisan.

Rainbow Johnson, ABC Network, Black-ish, Tracee Ellis Ross
Dr. Rainbow Johnson

Dr. Rainbow Johnson is an anesthesiologist, Andre’s wife, and mother of four.  She was raised by hippies.

Rainbow Johnson, ABC Network, Black-ish, Tracee Ellis RossOutstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series

1 nomination: 2016

Golden Globe

1 win: 2017

“Good morning, Mr. Senior Vice President.  Mwah!  Hey.” — Rainbow Johnson

“Yeah, but for half the money.  Yeah.  Breaking down barriers — equally important to money.  But just so that I’m clear, there is a salary increase, right?  Okay.” — Rainbow Johnson

Quote1I don’t like social media at the table.  I told you that.  Stop.  I told you I don’t like that at the table.  Like five times.  Okay.  Hello!  Okay.  To my husband, Senior Vice President.Quote2 — Rainbow Johnson

“Oh, pops.  Come on.  You’re here to celebrate him.  It’s fried chicken.  It’s baked fried chicken.” — Rainbow Johnson

“What’s the difference?  Obama’s the first black president.  I mean, does that make him any less president?  No.” — Rainbow Johnson

Quote1No, no, no.  Hold on a second.  Let’s explore this.  Jack, did you really now know that Obama was the first black president?Quote2 — Rainbow Johnson

“‘Only.’  Did you hear that?  ‘Only.’  He gets a pass.  So that explains his complete lack of presidential trivia.” — Rainbow Johnson

Quote1What you doing?  Oh, my God.  You got to stop with the whole pity-party thing.  You don’t think I go through this kind of thing all the time being a female doctor?  It’s not that big of a deal.  You got to keep it real.  That’s what I said.Quote2 — Rainbow Johnson

Quote1Okay, well, if I’m not really black, then could somebody please tell my hair and my ass?Quote2 — Rainbow Johnson

“I know.  What’s wrong with that?  Oh, my God– are you suggesting that our son is gonna grow up and murder his wife?  Oh, come on.  No, no, no.  Stop, babe.  No, focus, Dre.  You need to focus.  This is what you always wanted.  This is your dream and this is our plan.  We’re gonna climb the himalayas, sex in the louvre, and then we’re gonna successfully raise our family in a better situation than we had.  If you pass up this promotion, we’re 0 for 3.  Ooh. You’re welcome.  I love you.  No.  I know, ’cause I can hear what you’re thinking.  No, no.” — Rainbow Johnson

Quote1My job is pretty important.  So this is my fault?  Oh, this is my fault?  Oka– oh, I’m pretty sure that’s not what I told you to do.Quote2 — Rainbow Johnson

Quote1Should I start, or do you want to?  What is he doing?  I was trying to support you when I called you at work today, and my call was rerouted to corporate security.  And they questioned me for like 30 minutes about my husband’s mental state.Quote2 — Rainbow Johnson

“Ohh.  Dre, what happened at work today?  Still a perfect fit?  Dre?  He’s thinking about firing you?” — Rainbow Johnson

Quote1Oh, my God.  Dre!  There is no winning with you!  You’re upset because they gave you the job because you’re black.  If they’d given it to someone white, you’d be upset they didn’t give it to someone black!  This ‘keeping it real’ B.S. has got to stop.  I’m not gonna have you running around torturing my son.  What was that?  What are you wear– what are you wearing?  Whatever issues you are working through, you need to get over them — now.  Okay?Quote2 — Rainbow Johnson

“Babe, this entire box is filled with your hair experiments.  Look at this.  Oh, relaxer.  All your picks.  Styling Gelée.  Yeah.  Yeah, it did, but it’s gone now.” — Rainbow Johnson

Quote1Oh, God.  He’s been doing that for a while.  He was even afraid he was gonna break it from doing it too much.  Adorable.  Oh, my God.  Yeah.  When we had the talk.  Dre, please.  You are uptight with this kind of thing.Quote2 — Rainbow Johnson

Quote1My parents talked to us openly about everything, and that’s why the kids come to me.  It’s what I do, and I do it pretty good.  She’s going through a phase.  She’ll talk to me if it’s about something big, unless you want to talk to her about her menstrual cramps.  Okay.  Mm-hmm.Quote2 — Rainbow Johnson

“Apology for what?  So, what did you talk about?  Like what?  Mm-hmm.  Great, so you taught our kid how to be a pimp?” — Rainbow Johnson

Quote1Hmm.  Not now.  I’m trying to be a good mom who listens better.Quote2 — Rainbow Johnson

Quote1Dre, I want Zoey to have a connection, too, but you can’t bully God into her.  She’s got to get there on her own.Quote2 — Rainbow Johnson

Quote1Well, then we just have to have faith that we raised a strong and good person who can handle whatever life throws at her.Quote2 — Rainbow Johnson

“Oh, I’m right.  I’m always right.” — Rainbow Johnson

“So, if white people are scared of you, you’d be upset.  And now that they’re not, you’re still upset.” — Rainbow Johnson

Quote1Dre, when you get stressed about these things, I’m the one who suffers.Quote2 — Rainbow Johnson

“Seriously, this is not funny.  This is a big deal.  The images that we see affect who we are… …and who we aspire to become.  I mean, it’s bad enough we didn’t have role models growing up, but we made it past that.  We made it through.  But we have role models now, Dre… …doctors, lawyers, movie stars.  Our kids seeing themselves reflected in our culture is important.” — Rainbow Johnson

Resilient, vigilant, nurturing, a people pleaser Rainbow Johnson is an Idealist.

Zoey Johnson, ABC Network, Black-ish, Yara ShahidiZoey Johnson

“Hey, dad.  Are you wearing that awful cologne again?  Because it smells like you’re wearing that awful cologne again.  Right?” — Zoey Johnson

“Yeah, don’t.  Why do you insult me?  I’m Zoey Johnson, I run the social scene here.  Forget about #hopeshepurells and let’s go big game hunting, like for… …her.  Plus some light butt work.  And I am gonna get you a date with her.” — Zoey Johnson

“Hey, mom, our values don’t disappear just because our side lost one election.  And in the next one, me and my friends will  be voting.  We’re gonna pick up right where you left off.” — Zoey Johnson

Andre Johnson Jr., ABC Network, Black-ish, Marcus ScribnerAndre Johnson Jr.

“Oh, uh, tryouts are today.  I want to get a little extra work in so I’d be ready.” — Andre Johnson Jr.

“Um… there’s no point guards in field hockey, dad.  Nope.  Um, a lot of people think that, though.” — Andre Johnson Jr.

“The Johnson family wha– dad, you didn’t hit one jump shot all summer.  Right.  Anyway, I thought about playing hoop, but all my friends are fee-hocking it this year.  So I figured, you know, when in Rome…” — Andre Johnson Jr.

“I think it says I’m edgy but approachable.” — Andre Johnson Jr.

“Well, Zach thinks it’s cool.  And it’s also a derivative of ‘Andre.’  We discussed it, and I think I like that –” — Andre Johnson Jr.

“Dad, can I go?” — Andre Johnson Jr.

“Dad, listen, I get it.  You feel like I’m turning into a white boy.  But I’m not.  I’m just being me.  I’m just not quite sure who that is yet.  Honestly, the only thing I’m really trying to hold on to right now is my first boob.  I’m a ninth-grader playing varsity.  That means something.  Yeah.  Me and the field mob —  Fine.  Me and my boys figured that if we could just get our foot in the door with other jocks, we’d really get in there and make some noise.  Yeah, dad.  But I suck at it.” — Andre Johnson Jr.

“Thanks, dad.  I’m about to make it rain up in the comic book store!” — Andre Johnson Jr.

“It’s really the same choice Frodo faced at the black gates of Mordor.” — Andre Johnson Jr.

Jack Johnson, ABC Network, Black-ish, Miles BrownJack Johnson

“Can we see?” — Jack Johnson

“Obama’s the first black president?” — Jack Johnson

“He’s the only president I’ve ever known.” — Jack Johnson

“I left my karaoke mic in there, but I heard dad’s giving Junior ‘the talk.’  I don’t know.  Me too.  I need the talk.  I think he’s getting it because he’s always in his room with the door closed.  Now what?” — Jack Johnson

“Mom?  We were wondering if we could talk — you know, ‘talk’ — because –” — Jack Johnson

“Something good or something bad?” — Jack Johnson

Diane Johnson, ABC Network, Black-ish, Marsai MartinDiane Johnson

“You shot yourself?  I want to see!” — Diane Johnson

“Trying to do telekinesis again?  You don’t have it.  What talk?  I want the talk.  Oh, really?  Well, three can play at that game.  Now we wait.” — Diane Johnson

“Maybe we should do something to get the talk.” — Diane Johnson

“My research shows we have legal options — emancipation, extrication, and, if all else fails, relocation.” — Diane Johnson

Quote1It’s easy to believe if you accept the fact that people are inherently evil, which I do.Quote2 — Diane Johnson

Earl Johnson, ABC Network, Black-ish, Laurence FishburneEarl Johnson

“Hey, hey, son, can I just get some coffee in me before you start with all that mess?  Did seem like a pretty straightforward question there, son.” — Earl Johnson

“Yeah, and if you’d have joined that black firm, like I told you, you’d have been Mr. President five years ago.  So?  It’s a black company.  You got to make an adjustment for the negro inflation tax.” — Earl Johnson

“Oh, why don’t y’all go get a room?  I can’t believe I marched on Washington and fought for my country to watch y’all do that mess.” — Earl Johnson

“Congrats to my son!  Yeah!  Finally made it son!  Finally made it…. …to head puppet of the white man.” — Earl Johnson

“Actually, you told me I was coming over to eat fried chicken.  I have no idea what the hell this is.” — Earl Johnson

“Oh, so fried fried chicken is too black for you.” — Earl Johnson

“You’re doing a bang-up job over here.” — Earl Johnson

“Mm-hmm.  See what I’m talking about?  Baked chicken.” — Earl Johnson

“But when I say it, I’m wrong.” — Earl Johnson

“What is this mess you’re doing?  This ain’t our culture.  We black, not African.  Africans don’t even like us.” — Earl Johnson

“You’re better off watching ‘Roots.’  Don’t look at me.” — Earl Johnson

“Nice shot.  So much for the Johnson family form.” — Earl Johnson

“Who knew?  Boy wants to hold a boob.  You can’t be mad at him for that.” — Earl Johnson

“I didn’t.  I kept it honest.  Screwing things up is just another part of what it means to be a father, Dre.  It’s how you learn to fix things.  Just remember, son, whatever you do, make sure it’s right for who you are.” — Earl Johnson

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