Adult Swim original comedy Rick and Morty drops S5E3 tonight July 4th, 2021.
#RickandMorty is on a 10 week slate / has been renewed for 70 more episodes.
rottentomatoes: 95%
metacritic: 87
imdb: 9.2
emmys: 2 wins
Rick Sanchez
Rick Sanchez confronts his arch nemesis Mr. Nimbus outside of Seattle, Washington.
“Ugh, leave me, Morty. It’s the only way. Wha– were– wha– were we– were we Blades in that one? That’s tight. I’m– I’m scared, Morty. I can see the end. I’m a silly man. I’m a silly small man. I’m– I’m sorry I got you into this.”
“Oh. Where are we? The ocean?! The ocean on Earth?! Oh ****. Holy ****. We have to go. You touched the ocean, Morty. Oh **** ****. My ******* nemesis, okay? He’s gonna say that a lot.”
“He’s not a fish. He’s Mr. Nimbus. He’s king of the ocean and he’s a piece of ****. Are you happy, Morty? Are you happy you touched the ocean? He’s gonna be here any minute. Just help me smooth this over or this guy’s gonna become more trouble than he’s worth. Truly nobody cares about your **** Morty. The sooner you learn that, the better. Trust me, after that ocean **** up, you don’t get to do anything crazy. While I bull**** my way through this peace summit treaty with Nimbus, Summer is gonna dive into the Marianas Trench to recover the forbidden shell that gives him his power because Summer can be trusted. There are suicide capsules in all of your teeth. Do what you want with that. C’mon, Morty. You’re on booze duty.”
“Okay, Nimbus only drinks the good ****. So just toss this whale-ass ocean-wine in here and age it up a few centuries. I’m not a beaver who believes in Jesus Christ, Morty. But yeah, it’s pretty much a Narnia thing. All you have to do is bring wine, Morty. When do I ask you for anything? You might want to learn this early, Morty. Life is a fight. Are you making fun of me? Mr. Nimbus is an ice-cold dick killer, Morty. Okay, let’s go. That’s his magic ocean horn.”
“Nimbus. Let’s get this over with. Jerry. Jerry. He controls police, Jerry. Jesus Christ, Jerry. He’s Mr. Nimbus. He controls the police! Jesus, Nimbus, just get inside. Morty, grab the wine.”
“Yeah, fine. Whatever. Terms. The place I shit? Go ahead. No idea what you’re talking about. Morty, just give him the bottle. God damn.”
“He’s getting it. Stop eating beignets like that. It’s nothing. Will you excuse me, please? What the **** is going on? Where’s the wine? God, I can’t– I can’t believe you’re ****** this up. There’s always a guy in a thing! Be right out! Goddamnit. Do you see this whisper kitchen ‘Frasier’ bull**** you’re making me do? Morty, just get the wine. Beth and Jerry, stop trying to **** Nimbus. He propositions everybody!”
“Wow. Impeccable service. Big tip. Nothing. Can we just sign this thing and go? Totally worth it.”
“Jesus Christ, yes. Really proud of this SeaWorld theme, aren’t you? Fine! I’ll get someone. Oh, my God.”
“I need you for some bull**** Morty! C’mere. Your girlfriend? You just had to touch the ocean?”
“Oh, I’ve already been to war with Atlantis when I D-Day’d that Mermaid ****. Yeah, global warming is already doing that, asshole. But sure, yeah, go for it. Make us slightly more wet! Yes, you are a ****** joke! You ****** suck. You’ve always sucked. Y-Y-Y know why we haven’t fought in years? ‘Cause you’re an embarrassment to me and I don’t need you anymore. I don’t need anybody. All I do is eat **** and 69 Nintendos, bro. Every day. Don’t ******* establish canonical backstory with me, you Red Lob–“
Morty Smith
“C’mon, Rick. We’re– we’re almost there. Just stay with me. Then how about I get us outta this?”
“Hey, Jessica. I-It’s Morty. From school. Um, I just want to say that you’re really great. I know the timing never really worked out with us, but you’re really great and I wish I got to know you better. Oh, uh, yeah, sorry, I guess I just– wh-what? Yeah, that’s a great point. Tonight? Um, yeah. Tonight. Sounds great. Holy ****. Holy ****. Come on, come on!”
“We’re home, Rick. I-I landed us in the ocean. Uh, yeah, I-I guess so. What? What’s the big– what? Sorry. Who is that? Okay, but what was his name again?”
“He said his nemesis? I guess. I-I was gonna ask you. First I’m hearing it. He’s like a-a fish? Um, hey, I don’t know how much I can help out tonight, Rick. Jessica’s coming over j-just to, like, watch a movie or something, but y’know, t-t-that’s a good step. That’s a solid step to something, y’know? I think you just don’t want me happy ’cause then I’ll stop doing your crazy chores. Gross!”
“So time moves faster in there? I-I-Is it like a Narnia thing? Okay, but Jessica– when do you– I haven’t been to a full week of school in years! I don’t know shit! And for what? How many enemies do you have to have? Why is everything a fight with you? With Mr. Nimbus?”
“Hi! Jessica! Hi! Yeah, yup, y-you’re in the right spot. Uh, everyone, th-this is Jessica. This is everybody. Uh, this is– yeah, in a minute. C-C’mon, Jessica.”
“So, uh, yeah. J-Just make yourself comfortable. Y’know, ch-choose a movie or– or we can watch some interdimensional cable if you want. Or we can watch whatever, y’know. Wh-Whatever you’re into. Yeah, I gotta get some wine for Mr. Nimbus. Oh. Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I’ll go get some, just for you. Yeah, th-th-that’d be great. Hey, thanks, Hoovy. I-I really appreciate that. I-I got a girl over, and I really, really like her. I-I’m just nervous. So what’d you do? Thanks. I-I really needed to hear that. Here, t-take one of these. No, I-I want to. You have a good day, Hoovy. Will do! Oh, uh, well, I-I was thinking of using this one for– hey, Jessica. Um, yeah, sorry. I just– just going back to get it. Oh. I did! I just– just got a little busy. Going right now, again! You go ahead and fire up that movie! Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!”
“Oh, wow. Hoovy, right? Jesus Christ! Why– why is every old guy super jacked? Sorry! I’m sorry! I-I just need the wine! I’m sorry! Stop it! Ow! Okay, screw this! You know what? Yeah **** you, Hoovy! Okay, look, he wasn’t old like 10 seconds ago. Ow! Mother******!”
“No, no, no, no, no. Damn it! Dad was horny and I dropped it. I’m not ****** it up! There was a guy in the thing and– hey, hey, hey, Jessica. W-What’s up? No, no, no! I ran into a little trouble. But– but– but I’ll go get that wine right now. I-I-I was and I-I’m getting it right now. God damn it! What do you want me to say?! I-I’m sorry!”
“Okay, Narnia! Let’s go. Let’s ******* go! What? Jessica, I-I’m so sorry. I’m– I’m sorry, Jessica. We just never seem to get it right, do we? Yeah. I’d– I’d like that. Oh. I’ll– I’ll– I’ll go get it.”
“Look, Rick, I’ve done everything you’ve asked. Now can I just have some time with my girlfriend? I mean, she’s not– we kissed, but I’m just trying to take it slow. You gotta give these things time to breathe, y’know?”
“Holy ****. Aah! Why is this happening to me?! Jessica! Aaah! Shut up! There isn’t time to– it’s all ****** and you ****** it! Huh? W-What is this place? Stay back! I don’t want your stripped down Sundance sci-fi bullshit. Where’s Jessica?”
“I just took some wine! I said I was sorry. What the **** is wrong with you people?”
Beth Smith
“W-wait, so who is coming over again? Mentioned him before? I don’t love that. Actually, your father and I have been very sex-positive lately. Dr. Wong suggested we experiment. Oh, you’ll have to tone it down, babe. The squares can’t handle it.”
“Ooh! The nod? We watch porn together. The king of the ocean wants to have a threesome with us? So that just happened. Neither do you. Dr. Wong hasn’t been wrong yet.”
“Participant voids all liability in the event of death by orgasm? Well, we wouldn’t do it here.”
“Does anyone need anything?”
Jerry Smith
“Rick has a nemesis? Who is he? Like a magic guy? Rick’s science and he’s magic? Okay, what? We’ve been watching pornography. Together.”
“Is that Mr. Nimbus? I’m sorry. This is the guy? Hold on. No. I’ve seen you **** a planet, and this is the guy you’re afraid of? Okay, that’s enough. I’m calling the police. I will! Excuse me? Right, that tracks. In Dumb World. Police? A strange horny ocean man is on my lawn. Well, I don’t see how that’s relevant, but we’re white. Okay, but how did he– if that means what I think it means, I’ll have you know, we watch porn together. Oh! Oh, yeah. Very much so. You don’t sound upset about it. Oh, my God. Is this really happening? To us? I thought this only happened in New York or on HBO. You’re right. This is exactly what she was talking about.”
“Are we really ready to open things this wide? What if it gets weird? What if I fall in love with him? I’ll have you know he propositioned us.”
“Does Nimbus need anything? Don’t judge. We’re growing as a couple! Get in line, pal!”
Summer Smith
“Let’s lick ****. Of course you don’t, ’cause you guys aren’t getting any. Eww. I might never come back from the ocean.”
Mr. Nimbus
“Richard! You have desecrated the sacred treaty betwixt land and sea. Now face the wrath of your once eternal foe– Mr. Nimbus! I am Mr. Nimbus!”
“Richard. You look like ass. I like this one, Rick. He is unbroken. Untamed. Perhaps he could use a firmer grip on his leash. Go ahead. Good. I control them. Fight. ****. Flee. Shall we, Richard? I am Mr. Nimbus. Stand aside. Unless you are worthy of Nimbus.”
“Shall we discuss terms? Term number one– I am King of the Ocean. Term number two– stop shitting in the ocean. Delicious. Another. Another.”
“Delicious. Where is your wine boy, Richard? I thirst. What was that? Another scheme of yours, Richard? I know you’re planning something. Land dwellers do not keep Nimbus waiting and live.”
“I liked your other one more. What was his name? Kyle?”
“Mmm. I do so love to sign upon the dotted line. Shall we? And who is your witness? My witness is the squid. Or perhaps Richard has no one with whom he can trust his life. Who truly knows him.”
“You dare assassinate Nimbus? Very well. If you seek war with Atlantis, you shall have it. I knew that was you! Prepare my exit parade! Say goodbye to your precious dry land! For soon it will be wet! Wet! Am I a joke to you? Or maybe you hate me because I am the only man to see how far you have fallen. I used to fear you. Respect you. Now all that’s left is pity– for a sad, drunk shell of a man too afraid to see how alone he truly is. If Diane were alive today, what would she think–“
Jessica
“Hello? Oh, hey, Morty. What’s up? Oh, I mean– that’s a lot. No, I just wish you said it sooner. Yeah, I mean, being nervous is sort of selfish sometimes, y’know? Well, what are you doing tonight? Yeah. Do you, like, want to watch a movie or something?”
“Um, hello? Am I in the right place? I just saw a bunch of cops having sex with each other? Morty, did I hear you’re getting wine? Got any extra? Cool. Hurry back. Morty, you get the wine? I thought you already went. That’s okay. I’ll wait for you.”
“Seems like you’re busy. But you said were going to get it like twice already.”
“I mean, it’s fine. You were only gone like a couple minutes. Morty, are you okay? No, I guess we don’t. But I’m glad you called me. Maybe we can start over, get it right this time. Thanks for bringing the wine. Do we need an opener?”
Space Ship AI
“Life support systems failing.”
Cops
“Freeze! Freeze! Freeze! Freeze! Let’s get outta here.”
Nimbus employee 1
“Wow, okay! Looks like you guys just got the nod. Mr. Nimbus has a sense for these things. I take it you’re a sex-positive couple? Great! I’ll mark you down as eligible for a threeway. Here’s all the information you ‘ll need. Totally optional. But a remarkable option to have, I assure you. Very jealous. There’s a form on the last page so we know where to send the gift basket.”
Interdimensional cable
“We now return to ‘Nintendo 69.'”
“Nintendo, oh, what are you doing to me? Oh, Nintendo, oh, Nin–“
Narnia 1
“Looks like you could use a hand. No problem. Be right there, sugar hoof! Just helping this young man through a portal with that crate full of alcohol that’s been there for decades. Oh, I know that feeling. When I first started seeing Bova, I could only think about all the ways I was gonna mess it up. Oh, I messed it up. But I found the one who loves me for that. Oh, you don’t have to. You have a great time with that lady up there. Just relax.”
“Bova? Japheth? When were you born? It wasn’t my fault. The boy from the magic door.”
Narnia 2
“Oh, hey! Hoovy? Dinner’s ready!”
Narnia 3
“Why did you leave us, father? I swore to mother if I ever met you, I’d avenge her. Whose, then? Whose?!”
“I’ve been waiting for you. Never say his name! ****** kill you!”
“It’s him! I told you he’d come back! He’ll come back. Stop him. Stop him.”
Narnia 4
“Father? Holy ****. I’m sorry, father. I’m sorry we never believed.”
“Because one day, the dark child will shall return. And we will be ready.”
“He always comes back. I know what I saw. You are a foolish boy!”
Narnia 5
“Papa, why do we guard the gate?”
“It is over. The boy is not coming back. You have wasted our lives, our very futures, on a fantasy! A lie! You saw nothing!”
“Tell me, father. Am I a fool now?”
Narnia 6
“Holy **** it’s him!”
Narnia 7
“We finally beat him. But let’s always remain vigilant because you never know. He might be back one day.”
Narnia 8
“Aah!”
Sorcerer
“Those called fools are the only ones brave enough to see the truth.”
“I was born in the pits that made these stones. I lost my years building a temple to a lie. So I made lies my power. And what is power but a lie we–oh, **** he’s real! He’s real! I was wrong! I was so wrong! God is real!”
Squid
“Hey, just get a witness, man. Don’t make this about me. Save me.”
Narnia 9
“Do you know why you’re special, Adam? Yes. You will be the one to pass through the door. You will be the one to end our pain. Your pain shall set us free. It is time to begin. Again. Again! You are not ready. Do you think he will share mercy? Like he did to us? Again!”
“Such a waste.”
Narnia 10
“Because I am The Traveler? But, mother, what about my pain? Please, mother– for the future! Sorry. Wait. Who– who is that? M-Mother? Aah!”
Narnia 11
“You’re early. The end. But also a beginning. Isn’t every end a beginning. Jessica. That was her name, wasn’t it? Thank you, Morty. I had forgotten. Oh, right. You’ll be needing this. For the wine.”
Narnia 12
“Oh **** we got him! Can you believe he bought that ****** tree bull****. We ****** got him!”
“Oh, good. You’re awake. I have been asking that for centuries. I was created to study you, Morty, to know you. But the closer I looked, the more I do not recognize myself.”
