Netflix, Glow

Showboat Grappling

Netflix original retro wrestling drama #Glow premiered its first season last Saturday.

#Glow season 2 is speculative.

rottentomatoes: 96%

metacritic: 81

imdb: 8.2

***SPOILERS AHEAD***




GLOW, Netflix

GLOW, Netflix GLOW, Netflix GLOW, Netflix

Ruth Wilder, GLOW, Netflix, Alison Brie

Ruth Wilder, GLOW, Netflix, Alison Brie

Ruth Wilder, GLOW, Netflix, Alison Brie

Ruth Wilder

Ruth Wilder is a struggling thespian who takes on a unique creative opportunity known as Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling, or GLOW.


Ruth Wilder, GLOW, Netflix, Alison Brie

Quote1In this world… there are good guys… and there are bad guys.  And we… are the good guys.  You see that name on my door?  It’s my father’s name, son of a bitch.  But this isn’t about him.  This is about justice.  This is about holding on to what’s ours.  This is about my company and my name.  And I will not be bullied into submission.  Whoo!  Oh… I just wanna say thank you so much for bringing me in for this.  There aren’t roles like this for women right now.  It’s really– ooh.  It’s really great.  Oh, God.  Uh… Sorry.  That’s… ’cause I just thought Mel was short for Melanie, and then the other part was… yes, I would.Quote2 — Ruth Wilder

“Sorry to interrupt.  Your wife is on line two.” — Ruth Wilder

“Hey, Mallorey.  It’s Ruth Wilder.  I was hoping to get some feedback on my audition.  Can you at least tell me who got the part?  Was it Jeanie Barton?  You bring me in a lot.  And you never cast me.  If there’s something I need to change, I wanna change it.  What kind of thing?  Porn?  Like, in the valley?  What I’m interested in are real parts.  Not secretaries telling powerful men their wives are on line two.  It’s the better part.” — Ruth Wilder

Quote1Hey.  Sorry.  Thought we’re supposed to be tightening.  Debbie.  Debbie, boob.  Here.  Whoo!  Did I tell you the casting director offered me porn?  I don’t do that anymore.  Well– Oh, Jesus.  You know, I miss you making fun of me.  Ugh, it’s so far away.  It’s just… little, stupid stuff.  You know, like, don’t know if I can pay my gas bill.  I’ve gpt $83 in my bank account, and I’m waitressing all weekend.  And I’ve eaten Cinnamon Toast Crunch for my last… six meals.  But, hey, you know, I’m gonna do porn.  So, things are looking up.  Heh.  What?  I’m sorry.  How is this supposed to help me?  I choose work.  Oh, yeah, yeah.  Uh… I think I need to get a boyfriend first.  Isn’t that how it works?  No, no, no, no, no, no, no!  Witness is playing at the Dome.  Go.  Go, I get it.  Randy only loves you ’cause your boobs are full of food.Quote2 — Ruth Wilder

“Have they started auditioning?  Are you SAG?  Well, it’s not porn.  Just so you know.  Are there sides?  Sorry, what’s GLOW?  Yeah.  It’s a headshot.  Oh, it’s a playwright.  Yeah.  I’ve done a bunch of plays in Omaha, at a little spot called the Blue Barn Theatre.  I did a film a few years back.  I’ve also done extensive mask work and clowning workshops.  How much acting will there be?  Hair pulling?  Well, I don’t really know wrestling.  It’s not, is it?  It’s– It’s more like a sport with costumes?  Or– Sorry, are you– are you hiring actors to play wrestlers, or are we the wrestlers?  Which one?  What the hell does that mean?” — Ruth Wilder

Quote1Hey guys, it’s me.  I really didn’t wanna do this again, but, um… I need you guys to… wire me $200 so they don’t turn off my phone… and so I can eat.  I’m really sorry.  I swear this is the last time.  I love you.  Oh, I, uh… got a call back.  So, fingers crossed, again.  Okay.  Bye.  Hello?  Hello?  I have mace!  Oh, my God!  What are you doing?  Why are you climbing in my window?  No, no.  Climb out.  Go.  Wh–?  Pretty proud of yourself for trying to cheat on your wife again?  So?  It was a huge mistake.  And those drinks were free and– And I was feeling sorry for myself, and you took advantage of that.  Please, go home to your family.  Oh, my God.  Yeah, thank you.  Mm-hmm.  Okay.  Shh.  Shh.Quote2 — Ruth Wilder

“Not like preschool.  He’s already cutting people?  I thought this was just a warm-up.  Hi.  So, what’s out backstory?  What’s motivating this?  Why are we fighting?  What’s– what’s driving you to come after me and grab me by the hair and throw me to the ground?  It has to be something.  Look, there’s still a lot of girls, which means anyone could be cut.  We have to go above and beyond.  Trust me.  I’m an actress.  I know what I’m doing.  Please!  I beg you!  I am not your enemy!  Bread.  For my family.  We are.  We are.  We’re just motivating it with a backstory.  There is a law– what?  Why?  There are no scenes to read, no character work, so, yes, we improvised.  I’m a real actress.  I will work my ass off, and I will make you believe me when I do stuff, even if it’s just hair pulling.  why?  Because my dad was a high school science teacher and not some famous giant?” — Ruth Wilder

Quote1Are you guys like a band or something?  Get your own– Stop!  No!  What?  That was mu lunch and my dinner, you little assholes!  Fuck!  No!  Give me my keys!  I don’t care about the purse!  But just the– Give me my keys!  I need my keys!  No.  No.  They were… teenagers.  They weren’t, like– they were almost teenage– they were– they were small, but they were feral.  They were, you know, not well-cared for.  It was– it was very scary.  Fuck.  My apartment key.  Fuck.  I’m sorry.  Hi.  No.  You still have that key?  Oh!  Oh, thank God.  Huh.  No, I can’t.  I have a scene study class.Quote2 — Ruth Wilder

“Brick.  How much longer does this have to go on?  This punishment?  Haven’t I done time enough?  Haven’t I served my term?  Can I apply for a pardon?  You know what I feel like, Brick?  I feel all the time like a… like a cat on a… hot tin roof.  Neil!  Why the fuck are you sleeping?  I paid for this scene study class.  This is the only place I get to do what I wanna do.  I don’t have anywhere else to go.” — Ruth Wilder

Quote1Hyah!  Weighing in… at a hundred and… fifteen pounds– Yeah!  Premenstrual syndrome!  She gets moody.  And now she needs a nap.  Sleep!  Chewables and the swallow kind.  I’m coming for you, Hep Cat.  Body slam!  Hey!  You’re wrong about me.  How long must this… go on?  This punishment?  Haven’t I served my term?  Can’t I apply… for a pardon?  You know what I feel like?  I feel… all the time… like a cat… … on a hot tin roof.  Who has come here… to save… you… and you… and you… from evil.  Train.  Say your prayers.  Eat your vitamins.  ‘Cause, uh… Oh… what are you doing here?  Hold on, hold on, hold on, wait, wait, wait.  Don’t make me answer that.  Uh– I don’t love him!  I know!  I fucked up.  You think I don’t know that?  No!  God, no!  It was one time!  I know.  I told you, I fucked up.  It just happened.  Can we go somewhere and talk about this?  No!  I’m not gonna fight you!  Debbie!  I’m sorry.   No!Quote2 — Ruth Wilder

“Shit.  Are you okay?  I think I have an extra pair in my trunk.  I’m a seven.  From my waitressing days.  It’s kinda bouncy.  Oh.  Here!  Um… I can do, um… Audrey Hepburn winning an Oscar for Roman Holiday.  I’m truly, truly grateful…and terribly happy.  Yeah.  Oh.  Um… who?  She’s probably at home in Pasadena with her baby.  She’s not supposed to be here.  She wasn’t auditioning.  Oh!  Oh… I see what happened.  You all thought that was real, didn’t you?  No, we planned that.  Also known as getting written off the show.  But I love her, she’s great.  What– Where’s he going?  He can’t leave.  Okay.  I think it’s like this.  And then I think I’m gonna spin around, and we’re gonna put your arm around my neck.  Please, as if you worked with De Palma.  Ow!  I’m fine.  I’m fine.  It’s all part of the process.  Ah.  Delayed pain.” — Ruth Wilder

Quote1Can we get four burgers, four fries… extra ketchup and mustard on the side and two Diet Pepsis and one Pepsi regular, and that’s it.  Oh, and get this girl a milkshake.  On me.  We’re in training, so we have to bulk up.  I think I have some change.  Thanks.  Um… I don’t think you’re allowed to do that.  Are you already high?  I think Cherry’s doing the best she can.  I don’t know how things work in the music video world, but at least she’s trying to make us an ensemble.  Usually in this industry, it’s every man for himself, and it’s almost always a man, telling you your ass is too fat at the same time he’s trying to grope it.  And having a woman in charge instead of that Sackballs guy?  This is as good as it gets.  I didn’t.  I’m– I’m– let me just– I want to, but I’m really not feeling well.  It’s true, he did.  I think I deserve to live.  Can I do the lockup instead, where I hug her?  Hey!  Are you joining the team?  Is she joining the team?  So, uh… so, I’m fired?  I don’t want everyone to hate me.  My shoes!  Bye.Quote2 — Ruth Wilder

“Yes!  Anything you need.  ‘They year is 1999.  Nuclear war has reduced the Earth to a smoking ruin.  Lost tribes of women wander the land scavenging for water, food and an even scarcer resource, men.  For the privilege of breeding with civilization’s last male specimen, women wrestle for domination.  Welcome to the ultimate catfight.  Welcome to the world of GLOW.’  ‘Suddenly a wall collapses, and in strides the Leather Virgin, a nomadic road warrior whose tough-as-nails persona conceals a deep well of passion and virginity.  Ogress, a giant half-cyborg,half-woman, enters.'” — Ruth Wilder

Quote1‘Interior, underground bunker.  Nympho Phoebe, Mutant Maude and the Sexecutioner come to a closed door.  Or a trap.  Boom!  A massive explosion shakes the walls of the Uterus Cave.  In walks Koontar.’  Okay.  ‘Kuntar, a vision of hideousness.’  Oh.  Uh… okay.  Okay.  I am Kuntar!  Oh, sorry, where is that?  I have a big monologue coming up.  Oh.Quote2 — Ruth Wilder

“Is because you are weak American.  I will destroy all you hold dear.  Why can’t I?  Well, you never know.  She could change her mind.  Is like old Russian saying: A fisherman cannot kill a chicken till there are no more fish in the sea.” — Ruth Wilder

Quote1I am Zoya… the Destroya.  You are weak capitalist dog.  I am noble Soviet bear.Quote2 — Ruth Wilder

“Look.  I really want to be an authentic representation, not some cartoon Russian villain.  Out of respect for your culture.  I think you deserve better than Boris and Natasha.” — Ruth Wilder

Quote1You’re gonna be great.Quote2 — Ruth Wilder

“No one can defeat Soviet Union!” — Ruth Wilder

Quote1Stupid American barbie!Quote2 — Ruth Wilder

“Are you okay?  Is everything all right with– I can stay after if you want to work on it more.” — Ruth Wilder

Quote1Do you guys know how many plays I’ve done with no budget, where we’ve had to build every prop, every piece of scenery?  I did a version of Peter Pan where we couldn’t afford a flying rig, so two stage hands carried me around for three hours.Quote2 — Ruth Wilder

Idealist.


Debbie Eagan, GLOW, Netflix, Betty Gilpin

Debbie Eagan, GLOW, Netflix, Betty GilpinDebbie Eagan, GLOW, Netflix, Betty GilpinDebbie Eagan

Debbie Eagan is a soap opera actress before she signs on as GLOW’s main protagonist.


Debbie Eagan, GLOW, Netflix, Betty Gilpin

Quote1You missed half the class.  Some things are never getting tighter.  What?  Oh, my God.  Oh, make it stop.  I’m a fucking bovine mutant.  Maybe if I do this?  That’s good.  Uh… you?  The girl who changes under her shirt?  Obviously you shouldn’t do porn.  Unless it’s, like, porn Shakespeare.  Since you’re such a nerd, you’d probably enjoy that.  Why don’t you come visit me in Pasadena, then?  Come on.  I’ve called you like a million times to hang out.  What is going on?  Ruth, are you okay?  Can I tell you something that I realized recently?  When I first got Paradise Cove, I was– God, so excited.  And then they put me in the year-long coma.  And I would lie in that hospital bed, just feeling powerless.  And then season three, I graduate to a wheelchair with, like, a sad blanket– I’m getting there.  Everything changed when Mark was like, ‘Deb, don’t be unhappy.  Let’s have a baby.  I’ll support us.’  And I was like, ‘Yes.  Yeah.  Why am I working?’  Getting pregnant and written off that show, best decision I ever made.  But you’re not working.  I… Don’t you wanna be happy and have a family?  Okay.  I can’t leave my mom with Randy all day.  She’ll feed him Funyuns and Fresca and government conspiracies.  Um… I, um… I miss you too.Quote2 — Debbie Eagan

“Where the fuck are we?  You got jumped by a bunch of children?  It sounds so scary.  Don’t swear in front of Randy.  I’m kidding.  Of course you can swear in front of him.  He’s a fucking baby.  And I think I still have a spare key to your apartment in my bag.  Yes.  Oh, God.  Mark had food poisoning in that photo from poke.  Lost three pounds, though.  Fat fuck.  Yeah.  You wanna come over for dinner?  Really?  You’re still going to that?” — Debbie Eagan

Quote1You fucking bitch!  Oh, you fucking c*nt!  I should fucking kill you!  Don’t play dumb, homewrecker!  Husband-fucker!  Did you sleep with Mark?  Yes.  Thank you.  I wanna hear you say it.  What the fuck kind of friend are you?!  Oh, my God.  Of course you don’t.  You don’t love anyone.  How long?  How long were you two– What?  While I was pregnant?  Oh, what?  What about the other night?  That doesn’t fucking count?  Mark told me the whole thing!  I don’t know… I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.  Haven’t you learned anything from that sad fucking scene study class?  Things don’t just happen.  People make choices.  They want things, and then they go for them.  I don’t wanna fucking talk to you.  I wanna… I wanna kick your ass.  And then I never want to see you again.  Come on.  Come on!  Fucker!Quote2 — Debbie Eagan

Quote1Ow!  Fuck!  Fuck, Randy!  Ow!  Why are you smiling?  I’m bleeding.  Ow!  Shitty little biter.  Oh.  Not a skit.  And whatever it is you want, I don’t have time for it.  What is that?  That’s a rabbit.  Yeah?  Once we get divorced, wanna buy it?  It has a new trash compactor, just installed.  Why, you wanna have sex with him, too?  I have no idea what I’m going to do.  Thank you, that’s great advice.  I’ll just, uh… leave my baby on a stranger’s doorstep and get blackout drunk.  Why are you here?  Did I break something on your set?  Yeah.  You want me to wrestle?  Excuse me.  Okay, I’m– I’m sorry, I can’t handle this, and I’m not acting anymore.  Yeah, if you wanna do something more than nod and eat a salad, and make a pretty cry-face, you are punished.  You’re just saying that to get me to join your circus.  Is there a script, or– I don’t know why I’m asking.  What the fuck am I doing?  What about Ruth?  Eagen.  Are you insane?  Am I on fucking candid camera?   Why is she still here?  Take me home.  Give me your fucking keys.  I’m taking your car.  What’s the plan?  What are you doing?  No, don’t even talk to me.  No, what is that?  Fifteen minutes, Confucius.  And only because it’s rush hour.  It’s hard to pass up a starring role.  So, we need to pick up Randy from my parents’ house, and I need chow fun from Two Panda Deli.Quote2 — Debbie Eagan

“You’re — you’re hilarious.  ‘Are you the keeper of the Specimen?  That’s none of your concern.  The only thing you need to know is that I am ready to fight.'” — Debbie Eagan

“‘The Over-Madames have lied to you.  Men are real.  We can restore the world to the way it was before the war and women’s lib.  Who?’  I could use a break.” — Debbie Eagan

“When did we learn that move?” — Debbie Eagan

Quote1And that was his plan, to ruin Steel Horse’s life to get revenge on the father who abandoned him.  Oh, my God.  It’s a soap opera!  This whole thing is a soap opera!  I understand how to do that.Quote2 — Debbie Eagan

“Fuck you, Mark!  You always fucking do this.  Whatever success I have, whatever good thing I have built, you wanna piss all over it.” — Debbie Eagan

Quote1What, are these fucking divorce papers?Quote2 — Debbie Eagan

“It’s fine.  I’m just– I’m pissed we didn’t get to do the move.  I can’t.  The move’s easy.  We’ll be fine.  Just won’t get distracted this time.” — Debbie Eagan

“What the hell are you doing here?  I’m not ready to talk to you.  Just get whatever you need and get the hell out, okay?  God, what is this?  An acceptance speech?  Yeah, good.  A book is really gonna help save this.  A couch?  Oh, Mark, I’m so sorry.  That sounds awful.  Can I do anything to make you feel better?  You wanna sleep here?  Be my guest.” — Debbie Eagan

“Here you go.  Signed, sealed, notarized.  Fuck you!  Have a nice life.  Hi, I love you.  What are you doing?  How can you not?  You’re the one who served me.  Well, it’s too late.  I already made another copy and sent it to my lawyer.  What?  Oh, how actress-y of you.  I’m glad we never kept a gun in the house.  You are such an immature fuck.  Will you do something about his face?  Give me a paper towel.  Okay.  Mark, he has no fucking teeth.  We can’t give him celery.  Who are you right now?  You’re going to therapy?  Since when do you cook?” — Debbie Eagan

Quote1I’m ready to kick your Soviet ass all the way back to Siberia.Quote2 — Debbie Eagan

Guardian.


Cherry Bang, GLOW, Netflix, Sydelle Noel

Cherry Bang, GLOW, Netflix, Sydelle NoelCherry Bang, GLOW, Netflix, Sydelle NoelCherry Bang

Cherry Bang is an experienced stunt professional who trains GLOW.


Cherry Bang, GLOW, Netflix, Sydelle Noel

Quote1Tell us what the hell we’re doing here.  Hey, baby.  Mm-hmm.  Good.  This another one of your trashy vampire movies?Quote2 — Cherry Bang

“Are you done?  ‘Cause some of us like to work.  We starting?  Honey, you still doing blow?  What happened to that coach?  What?  You fired the only guy with any wrestling experience?  You trying to fuck this up, too?  Oh, no.  We both haven’t worked in a while, so let’s not get into a pissing contest.  Look, we work good together, right?  Let’s just get out there and deal with these amateurs you hired.  I’m married.  You need to pee?  Pee.  Don’t bring shit up like that, man.  What?  Miscarriage?  It was two years ago, and I’m fine.  Again, can you keep my business to yourself?  What the hell are you up to?  Excuse me?  Yo, shut up!  Sorry, um… Carmen, help me out.  I wanna start with a hold and release.  Yep.  Show me.  Okay.  Okay, so, if I wanted to put you in, say, a headlock.  I do… this?  All right, pair up.  Give it a shot.” — Cherry Bang

Quote1Some of us are trying to work.  All right, um… you.  And you.  Let’s see what you got.  Melanie, do the moves.  Strindberg, you okay?  What the fuck was that?  The point is to do it safely.  You could’ve seriously hurt her.  You know what?  I don’t have time to deal with spoiled bitches who don’t take anything seriously.  Oh, sweetie, I know you.  You never had a real job, your daddy pays all your bills, but you don’t let anyone know unless you’re really drunk.  You drive a limo because you want someone, anyone, to think you’re interesting.  Tell me I’m wrong.  I got this job because I’m a pro, and I know how to make these moves look real.  Okay.  Come at me.  Make it look as real as you want.  That’s lunch.  Guys, this looks awesome.  You’re getting it.  Great.  Let’s move to actual back bumps.  Yeah?  Let’s go.  All right.  So, it goes a little something like this.  It’s like a belly flop, but on your back.  Let’s give it a shot.  Carmen, kick us off.  Yes.  I like it.  All right, who’s next?  All right.  Okay.  You’re fine.  Okay.  Oh… get out of my ring.  Where the hell have you been?  While you’ve been gone we done a lot of fuckin’ around.  We got miscarriage bullshit to show you.  Now I have your attention?  Why don’t you show him?  You like attention so much, come on, show him.Quote2 — Cherry Bang

“Sorry, um… it just got a little intense.  I’m fine.  What do you want, Sam?  That’s pretty clear.  I’ll think about it.  See you tomorrow.” — Cherry Bang

Quote1We’ve been learning to fall on our backs without hurting ourselves.Quote2 — Cherry Bang

“Hey.  Where was my part?  In your jerk-off space opera.  You didn’t write me a part.  I trained these girls all fucking week.  I watched tapes, I broke down moves.  I wanna be on camera, Sam.  It’s my turn.  Fine.  We’ll do it on the way there.” — Cherry Bang

Quote1Why not?  Today’s a glorified private rehearsal.  What about the 12 other girls busting their ass out there?  You and Barbie, get your shit together.  I’ll come back when you’re ready to work.Quote2 — Cherry Bang

“Good morning!  Right.  ‘Cause that’s a workout bustier.  Rose, that white girl bullshit might work on teachers and cops, but not me.  This is your last warning.  You break curfew again, you’re fired.  Other people don’t piss me off as much.  And Sam put me in charge.  I’m official now.  So, deal with it, Rosen.” — Cherry Bang

Quote1Hey, look, we’ll figure it out.   Let’s go make a show.Quote2 — Cherry Bang

“Keith thinks I quit.  So… did Steel Horse live up to the name?  Melrose did.  I told her what we do to rats where I come from.  Bitch shut up after that.  You didn’t answer my question.  Sounds like horse was less than steely.  Oh, no.  You’re not getting off that easy.  We’ve got a 5k uphill.  Just you and me.  You got until I’m done.  Yep.” — Cherry Bang

Artisan.


Sam Sylvia, GLOW, Netflix, Marc MaronSam Sylvia

Sam Sylvia is the director of GLOW.



“Okay.  I said I’d do anything, so, here we fucking are.  Okay.  Hello, ladies.  I’m Sam Sylvia.  Today we’re just gonna be doing first looks and first cuts. This is how this is gonna go, all right?  No more talking.  Just sit there… and look at me and smile.  Okay?  Oh… Hi, Cherry.  How you doing, baby?  What?  No.  This is not a movie.  This… is GLOW.  Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling.  This is a wrestling television show.  Only ladies.  Lady wrestling.  Just like the big guys, but girls.  Get it?  Girl on girl.  What?  If one of you turns out to be Hulk Hogan, I’ve hit the fucking jackpot.  All right, take it easy.  This is what’s happening.  Yes, this is a wrestling show, and yes… you’re all gonna have to actually wrestle on cable television for thousands of people.  That means… tit grabs… c*nt punches, shrinky dinks.  that move that looks like a catfight, but fancy.  Did I say c*nt punches?  Okay, good.  So, if any of you have a problem with, uh, doing a wrestling show… I suggest you leave now.  Thank you.  Really?  You’re going?  Thank you.  What happened there?  You just… decided?  All right, for those remaining, congratulations, you made it through the first round of cuts.  Pretty painless, right?  I guess what we gotta do now is, I’m gonna sit over there… and you guys are gonna line up, get your headshots out, and I’m also gonna have to have you sign a waiver… in case of, uh, serious injury, and/or death.” — Sam Sylvia

“You seem to be very versatile with window coverings.  I don’t know what that means.  Your eyes are closed.  Can you blow with your eyes open?  Resume gets a little thin after 1979.  Mm-hmm.  Yeah, I know you can double, but can you act?  Next.  Yeah, I’m gonna need you to do that too.  What is that?  Look at you.  You’re like a parade.  Yeah.  Do you think you could throw people?  All right.  Well, come back tomorrow.  Yeah.  I’m exhausted.  How old are you?  Yeah?  Okay.  We’ll see.  Yeah.  Come on.  Ruth Wilder.  Looks like you.  Oh.  Strindberg.  Who the fuck is that?  I’m kidding.  I know who Strindberg is.  I’m not an idiot.  So, what are you, like a– like a real actor?  As opposed to what?  You don’t like wrestling?  You don’t think wrestling is acting?  Yes.  Do people think you’re pretty?  Because, like, I’m looking at you… one second, I think, ‘Fuck, yeah, she’s hot,’ and then the next second I’m like, ‘I don’t know.  Is she?  Really?’  I mean, you just have one of those faces that kind of… changes.  Like, ‘Eh… hmm.’  I don’t know.  It means I don’t know.  Ruth.  Ruth.  That is not a great name.” — Sam Sylvia

“Okay, over the next two days, I’m gonna be casting a squad of 12 women to play wrestlers on TV.  Based on one, can you move, and can you follow basic direction?  And two, do I like your face, or do I not like your face?  All right.  If I call your number and say, ‘thank you,’ you’ve been cut.  So, dry your tears and leave the ring quietly.  Now, this hulking specimen over here is what–?  What is it?  Salty ‘The Sack’ Johnson.  You’ve heard of him, right?  He’s the two-time champion of… some stuff.  All right, if you don’t wanna leave here with a broken spine, I suggest you listen to what he has to say very carefully.  All right, go ahead.  You heard the big man.  Go ahead.  Whoa.  You heard him.  Oh, shit.  What– What the fuck?” — Sam Sylvia

“Okay, number 18.  Ugh.  You remind me of my ex-wife.  Thanks.  Yes.  Ouch, floor girl.  Can’t see your number… Bye.  Nice.   Good job, Cherry.  Cute outfit, Pippi Longstockings.  Creepy, but I like it.  What the fuck is this?  Okay, all right.  That’s it.  Number 30, number 22, thank you.  What do you mean, ‘Why?’  I gave you basic direction.  You didn’t follow it.  You’re both out.  Jesus Christ.  Fucking actresses.  All right.  I’m feeling generous.  Sophie’s Choice.  Why should I pick you and not her?  Go.  Girl fight.  Well, that was a very nice pitch.  Very earnest.  What about you?  Holy shit, why?  No shit.  Hard sell.  But I’m gonna have to go with the dynasty.  You’re out.  Maybe.  Or ’cause I don’t like your face, or your ass.  I don’t know.  Maybe I like both of ’em too much.  I don’t– I don’t have to explain myself.  That’s the beauty of being a director.  You’re out.” — Sam Sylvia

“Okay.  Five minutes, everybody.  Yeah, I doubt it.  Yeah.  Yeah.  Call it.  Rocky!  Get down from there.  That’s right, I came back.  Don’t all applaud at once.  Okay.  Light of day.  Who’d I hire?  Who are you people?  All right… coming in.  Okay.  Why don’t we do this: when I point at you, tell me your name, and if you have any special skills or hidden talents, favorite sex positions.  Who wants to go first?  Yes, underwear-as-outerwear girl.  Hit me.  Okay.  I dig it.  I like the whole ‘please objectify me’ vibe.  Tremendous.  Wolf lady, what’s your story?  Sheila.  Yeah?  What cologne am I wearing?  Trick question.  Not wearing cologne.  But I do spray that on my clothes if I forget to do laundry, so points for that.  Yeah.  Where’s my real actress?  Where’s Strindberg?  Mm-hmm.  Know any good party tricks?  Hmm.  Very winsome.  Where’s your friend?  That smoking hot blond who kicked your ass the other day.  How come she’s not here?  Why isn’t she here?  You’re on a soap?  Wait, what’s her name?  Debbie Eagen?  Yeah.  I’m gonna take a piss first.  So, why don’t you guys stretch it out.  Get ready.  What?  No.  I’m just, uh… checking drivers licenses.  You know, women lie about their age all the time.  I fired him.  I don’t want to make a dumb wrestling show.  I don’t wanna just take things out of the playbook.  Come on.  I gave you another job.  I don’t see a lot of directors giving you on-camera work.  Okay, let’s do that.  Wanna?  But we did.  1978.  It was me, her, and her husband.  You don’t remember?  What?  History is a beautiful thing.  Oh!  I haven’t talked to you since the… you know, the… the whole… uh… womb goof.  I was trying to come up with a tactful euphemism.  Just trying to be sensitive.  Oh, yes.  Hold on.  Here we go.  Okay.  I got my methods.  Trust me.  All right, angels.  Looking very, uh, bend-y.  That’s good.  I gotta split for a few, all right?  Cherry’s gonna be training you today.  That’s right.  Come on.  Cherry is a bona fide badass on the outside.  On the inside she’s like a marshmallow, like a Mallomar.  And who doesn’t like Mallomars, right, baby?  Why you look so surprised?  Listen… when I get back I want to see some moves.  Some slamma jammas, some whammos.  You know, anything that makes it look like we might just pull this thing off.  If you need help, ask the big one.  Not you.  The other one.  From the wrestling family.  With the cheeks, over there.  All right, great.  Listen to Cherry.  Be nice.  Do something.  Make it happen.” — Sam Sylvia

“Hey.  Debbie Eagen.  Sam Sylvia, director.  You came by, did a little skit at my gym the other day.  It’s a Pound Puppy… for the barnacle.  Can I come in?  Nice place.  So, you’re gonna leave him?  My wife cheated on me with my Steadicam operator.  Not my best friend, but technically I was paying him to fuck my wife.  So, the next day I walked out.  I quit the marriage.  I quit the movie.  I even left my dog.  Got on a plane for Vegas, two weeks later, I woke up, felt a lot better about myself.  Debbie, I’ve been casting this thing for weeks.  I mean, just raking the gutter because who gives a shit?  Then you come outta nowhere, just burst in like some Greek goddess of rage, and I saw it.  I saw it, Debbie.  Like a vision before a seizure.  The whole show.  And you, you were in the middle of the ring.  I want you to be my lead.  I’ve got girls who can do splits, they can cut hair, but I don’t have a star.  I need a star.  Bullshit!  You know what I think?  You’re pretty.  You got big boobs, and those soap writers didn’t count on you having brains.  Am I right?  You asked too many questions, you maybe improvised a few too many lines, and then, boom, Sleeping Beauty.  I don’t wanna punish you, Debbie.  I want that cavewoman anger.  I want those crazy faces of agony.  I mean… you’re like Grace Kelly on steroids.  And I wanna put that on television every single week, Debbie.  Yes, true.  But I mean it.  Fuck salads.  Fuck tiny moments in close-up.  Fuck polite and comatose.  Just come down, check it out for an hour.  You don’t have to say anything, do anything.  If you don’t wanna be part of it, I’ll drive you home.  Door to door, like a perfect gentleman.  Who?  Her?  Oh.  Fuck her.  I cut her the first day of callbacks.” — Sam Sylvia

“Ladies, get out your autograph books.  I want you to meet the new star of GLOW, this is TV’s own Debbie Morgan.  Debbie Eagen.  Working my ass off.  I just drove to fucking Pasadena in the middle of the day.  Oh, her.  Yeah.  I do– look– just a second.  What?  You, just stop talking.  Just give me a minute, okay?  Just give me a minute.  Honey.  Honey, come with me.  Come on.  It’s gonna be all right.  Sit down… …smooth it all out.  It’s gonna be fun.  Okay, can– can everyone just be nice?  All right?  Let’s just be nice.  Okay, here you go.  Okay.  Okay, okay.  I know, I know, I lied.  It’s not about the lie, it’s about where the lie takes you.  Follow?  So, just let me put this fire out.  It’ll still be rush hour in 15 minutes.  Hi.  So, what is this miscarriage bullshit?  That was terrible.  I didn’t buy a single second of that. But, let’s not throw out the baby with the bathwater.  Oh, sorry, maybe it’s a wrong metaphor.  Sorry.  I think there’s something here.  I know you were just being an asshole, but if this were a real scene there’d be context, there’d be circumstances, there’d be characters, right?  Legacy?  All right, let’s get inside this thing.  What happened?  The miscarriage, was it an accident?  Was it bad sushi?  Wow.  Good.  Good.  Kick in the stomach, I like that.  Swim coach, I don’t know.  We can lose him.  We need a better assailant.  What animal would kick a pregnant woman in the belly?  What kind of person would ruin the life of a gorgeous, successful, pregnant woman?  What kind of homewrecker would do that?  Ruth!  Doesn’t seem like too much of a stretch for you.  Come in the ring, join us.  Gene Kelly had the flu when he did the title number of Singin’ in the Rain.  Look at this asshole.  She doesn’t care about anyone but herself.  She’s gonna destroy lives.  Even tiny lives that haven’t started yet.  You’re a horrible person and you don’t deserve to live.  Hey, Uta Hagen.  Just take some fucking direction for a minute.  Is that too much to ask?  It’s not about you.  I’m trying to see if the skit works.  Now circle the other one.  Okay, good.  Okay, shit-stirrer, let’s work on your side.  If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my illustrious career, is that you can’t rely on a blood rig to sell a performance.  Who are you?  What kind of woman were you before you lost everything?  Wait, I got it.  You’re smart.  You’re ambitious… talented.  But nobody sees that.  All they see is the blonde knockout.  Shut the fuck up.  Now, here you are, you’re ripe.  Fecund.  A custodian of new life.  You’re a fertile harvest goddess.  Now… pull your shoulders back, and strut like you own the ring.  What is that?   I said strut.  Like you own the ring.  No.  That’s like a saunter.  All right.  Okay, now stick your belly out a little bit, you’re pregnant.  Everything is fine.  Everything is ideal.  Until… the homewrecker arrives.  She has nothing.  No man, no love, no friends.  Her hair is brown, the color of shit.  All right.  Now, lunge and miss.  Wake up, Ruth!  Time to act.  Lunge and miss.  Yes.  Great.  Now it’s time for the big move.  You’re gonna kick her in the stomach, set off a miscarriage that will ruin not one life, not two lives, but three lives in the process.  Let’s go!  Kick, it’s like a punch with your leg.  Oh, my God.  No.  Kick.  Yeah.  Give words to the pain.  Give me the ketchup.  Since we’re not making Apocalypse Now, let’s add a little fun back in.  Yeah.  Now that is a fuckin’ miscarriage.” — Sam Sylvia

“Keith, my man.  What’s happening.  I know, I know.  I’m not aging well.  I’m not aging well.  Hey, look, I know it was tough today.  All right?  But I’m a director, I’ll do what I need to get what I want.  If you keep doing what you did today, I’ll make sure we get you double your salary.  It’s only fair.  Actor and trainer.  You do it all, like Bruce Lee.  Come on, what do you say?  All right, you think about it.  Good to see you.  Car looks good.  Okay.  No!  Are you an idiot?  You’re chum.  You’re blood in the water.  Debbie’s the hero and you’re the villain.  Everybody’s gonna hate you!  Oh, Christ.  Crying, caring, the desperation… that’s what makes you unbearable.  Look, I don’t like you, Strindberg, take that in.  Hold on to it.  Try not giving a fuck.  There’s a lot of power in that.  And relax, the devil gets all the best lines.” — Sam Sylvia

“Oh.  I’ve been busy.  No, you can’t.  Because he’s dead.  He got hit by a car, a Saab, and I just didn’t have time to call you.  I’m sorry.  I know this is probably devastating for you.  I mean, I’ve had a week, so, I’ve kind of moved through it.  But, uh, I have the number of the woman that hit him, if you wanna call her and cry.  Do you want to call her and cry?  I don’t want you to cry here.  You’d love that, wouldn’t you?  Just me all chained up and drooling and– and lobotomized with my balls cut off.  I did before I married you!  But there’s one ball you can’t castrate.  That’s the mind!  Those balls are just… balls.  A man’s true ball… is the mind.  Ladies, hi.  I see you’ve met Sebastian Howard, our producer.  Just know that he’s the one writing your checks, so, be nice.  I thought you were in Peru.  Yeah, yeah, Bash, Salty didn’t work out.  Cherry’s our wrestling coach now.  Yeah.  All right, anyway, fans are gonna tune in for the moves, but they’re not gonna stay tuned in unless we give them what, ladies?  Storytelling.  Now, I know it’s exciting to be in the midst of a big-shot producer, but I have something even shinier… a script.  Hot off the Xerox.  I only made ten copies, so, we have to share ’em.  And I’m just gonna cast as we go along, starting with Ruth.  Uh, yeah.  I need you to read stage directions.” — Sam Sylvia

“Al right, now the next part’s just wrestling.  Wrestle, wrestle, wrestle.  Then cut to commercial, and then act two. Oh, come on.  You want the job?  Wail in agony.  ‘Kunt-tar.’  Kuntar.  Yeah.  ‘Kuntar.’  Oh, yeah, you do it.  You do Kuntar.  Come on, come on, come on.  Oh, come on.  Stick to the script.  We’re almost at the end.  All right, all right.  Let’s take five.” — Sam Sylvia


Carmen Wade, GLOW, Netflix, Britney YoungCarmen Wade

Carmen Wade is the daughter of wrestling sensation Goliath Jackson.


“I don’t know.  I’ve actually never done one of these before.  What?  I– I’m part Cherokee.  Oh.  The what?  He told us to.  Okay.  You stole!  There is a law, and you broke it.  And now, you will pay the ultimate price.  My dad’s Goliath Jackson.  Thanks.” — Carmen Wade

“I love that sound.” — Carmen Wade

“Hi, guys.  Okay.  Like a lockup?  Okay.  A lockup, it’s kind of like dancing when you first start, so… just… okay.  So, we start here first.  this way I can tell you which way to go.  So, I’ll lead and you follow.  Okay?  Yeah.  I think so.  I’ll grab you.  Okay, that’s great.” — Carmen Wade

“That was a sleeper hold.  The director did.  He said, ‘She’s in charge.’  Um…” — Carmen Wade

“‘Me Ogress.  You die now.'” — Carmen Wade

“One more match.  One of my all-time favorite guys is up next.  Please?  They call him Steel Horse.  A working class hero.  Every match is like another chapter.  It started when Mr. Monopoly closed down the factory in Steel Horse’s town, and he and all of his friends lost their jobs.  And then, he kidnapped Crystal, Steel Horse’s woman, and brainwashed her.  She was his highschool sweetheart, but now she thinks he’s evil.  He still loves her.  Every time, tries to win her back.  It turned out they’re actually half-brothers, and–” — Carmen Wade

“You wanna talk?  You can squat.  Well, Ruth takes it seriously.  It’s not the workouts.  The problem is you think wrestling is stupid.  I prefer exaggerated.  I mean, that’s the point.  My brother, he once had this promoter set him up with a guy who wrestled with a snake.  The day of the match, the snake died.  Kermit put on a sock puppet.  My brother had to wrestle it like it was real.  It brought the house down.  Have you never been to a real wrestling match?” — Carmen Wade

“I’m Carmen, Tom and Kurt’s little sister.  We just wanted to come back and tell you how amazing that was.  Um, these are my friends.  Melanie– and Debbie.” — Carmen Wade


Mark, GLOW, Netflix, Rich SommerMark


“Hey, its me.  You said you didn’t want anyone to find out about us.  I took that seriously.  Are you kidding me?  You know how hard that was?  You ever tried to climb a trellis?  I’m pretty proud of myself.  Let’s not– Don’t– Please, can we not use those words?  This isn’t normal behavior for me.  I just– I can’t… I can’t stop thinking about you.  I think we both took advantage of that.  I keep thinking about what you said that night.  About how there are… shiny people who have everything, and then there are people like us who have to go to parties with those people and watch them get their pictures taken, and it’s not fair.  Because we deserve stuff, too.  We deserve attention.  And… like… sex.  Ruth.  You’re– you’re amazing.  You’re so real.  You– ow.  Ah.  Ha!  You are the most real person that I’ve ever been with.” — Mark

“You’re right, okay?  I am all the things you wanna scream at me.  You are entitled to your anger, and I acknowledge it.  Going to therapy.  Been going twice a week.  Yeah.  Seeing a cognitive behavioral therapist.  Her name is Linda.  It means that I’m trying to work on my issues and make some progress so you’ll consider working on our marriage.  Stay for dinner.  We can start there.  I didn’t say come home, I just said dinner.  And I can put Randy down.  I’ll cook.  Please.  Since my wife left me.” — Mark


Tammé Dawson, GLOW, Netflix, Kia StevensTammé Dawson


“Better make it count, then, right?  Let’s go.  Come on.  Oof– Ah!” — Tammé Dawson

“You want me to take him for you?” — Tammé Dawson

“She just came to stop the homewrecker.” — Tammé Dawson

“I don’t know anything about wrestling.” — Tammé Dawson

“Storytelling.” — Tammé Dawson

“‘I am.  Who are you?  We’ll see about that.  Ogress!'” — Tammé Dawson

“I brought you more ice.  I have some concerns about my character.  It’s offensive.  Yeah, but would other people know that?  My son.  He goes to Stanford.  And I don’t want him turning on the TV and getting upset.  It’s not that I don’t want this job.  I do.  Sam, I’ve never had any role before.  I mean, I’ve only done background work, some lines on Scarecrow and Mrs. King, and Gimme a Break.  Oh.  Okay.” — Tammé Dawson

“How are we gonna fill all these seats?” — Tammé Dawson

“You want this crown back?  You fight me for it.  America, you have turned your back on me long enough!  You’ve ghettoized my people, trapped us in an endless cycle of poverty.  Not anymore.  Tonight, I take back what I deserve!” — Tammé Dawson


Dawn Rivecca, GLOW, Netflix, Rebekka JohnsonDawn Rivecca


“TGIF!  Yeah.  Then you just fall.  Ooh!  Oh.  Ooh.  And a milkshake!  Thanks.” — Dawn Rivecca

“Maybe you did die.  Maybe we’re all dead and this is the afterlife.” — Dawn Rivecca

“No.  No one passed it to me, and I’ve been waiting because I’m polite. Thanks.” — Dawn Rivecca

“Come on, Carmen!” — Dawn Rivecca


Sheila the She Wolf, GLOW, Netflix, Gayle RankinSheila the She-Wolf


“Sheila.  And I have a very acute sense of smell.  Drakkar Noir.  Good.  I love points.” — Sheila the She-Wolf

“Don’t stand up straight.  You have to be submissive.  She’s the Alpha and you’re the Omega.  You’re gonna provoke her.  Slouch toward the ground.  Now, slouch.  Submit.  She might kill you.  She’s submitting.  Look down.  Get low.  Put your muzzle to the ground.” — Sheila the She-Wolf


Arthie Premkumar, GLOW, Netflix, Sunita ManiArthie Premkumar


“I didn’t know we were supposed to wear costumes.” — Arthie Premkumar

“So, like, Hulk Hogan?” — Arthie Premkumar

“Okay.  All right… Okay, I’m pre-med.  Are you cramping?  Are you experiencing any other symptoms of pain?  What?” — Arthie Premkumar

“And pain faces.” — Arthie Premkumar

“‘The men never died.  She harvests them for food.  Koontar, the Man-Eater– Kuntar.’  Yeah.” — Arthie Premkumar


Jenny Chey, GLOW, Netflix, Ellen WongJenny Chey


“Oh, my gosh, of course!  This makes total sense.  She’s on a soap.  No, not her, the pretty one.  The one who slapped her.  She’s Laura Morgan on Paradise Cove.  Until– until… she had to have reconstructive surgery after a year-long coma.  Debbie Eagan.  Yeah.  She was also in one episode of Murder, She Wrote.  I watch a lot of Murder, She Wrote and Wheel of Fortune, TV in general.” — Jenny Chey

“Oh, my God.  Yeah.  Okay, um..” — Jenny Chey

“Get it, girl.” — Jenny Chey


Melanie Rosen, GLOW, Netflix, Jackie TohnMelanie Rosen


“Oh, fuck me!  I forgot my shoes.  Hm.  Where’d you waitress, a nursing home in Poland?  Adrian!  Hey, yo, Adrian!  Hi, I’m Melanie Rose.  Call me Melrose.  And my special skills is that I’m not fucking boring.  Like, I can wake up in the morning with absolutely nothing to do and just be in a Van Halen video by the end of the day.  Um– Oh, also, uh… any position with my legs over my head.  Thank you.  Were you guys about to bone?  I can pee in a bucket, I don’t care.  Jeez.  I hear nothing.  Not hearing anything.  Oh, I trust him.  Who doesn’t trust a man with a mustache full of coke?  Okay.  Come on, drama nerd.  Hold me now.  Okay.  Then here, like this, and then just sort of in like this.  Those are my moves, kid.  I mean, they’re the moves that got me cast in the porn dance party in Body Double.  I did, so… I took her by surprise.  You know, to win.  That’s the whole point of the whole thing.  You don’t even know me.  You got this job ‘case you fucked the director.  You think that this shit looks real.  Ever get in a street fight, and you’re like, ‘Careful for my neck.  Just make sure to do it safely?’  It’s fucking fake.  Okay.  Hyah, hyah, hyah!  Cherry…. Cherry–” — Melanie Rosen

“One with cheese.  Five.  Well, I need to chill the fuck out ’cause some crazy stunt-c*nt just tried to murder me.  That was a lawsuit.  Who does that bitch think she is?  This morning, she was just another schmucky actress in a Kmart leotard, and now she’s going around knocking people unconscious?  Who died and made her the black nurse Ratched?  The point is I could’ve died.  Oh.  Oh, yeah?  You big into dictators?  If you’re so into the sisterhood, maybe you shouldn’t have fucked your friend’s husband.  Dude… I am the Cézanne of bullshit artists.  Oh, that’s us.  Oh, you owe me 20 bucks.  Thank you.  Okay, ladies, back to the Isle of Lesbos!  Know what, I’ll try.  Okay.  Shit, that was a disaster.  Let me try again, I can do better.  Crap, I can do it better.  Can I go one more time?  I wanna push myself.  I wanna work harder.  Oh, my fuck!  No!  Oh, Fuck!  Oh… Oh, my God!  What is happening?  I thought I might be pregnant.  I put my body through too much trauma today.  This is so painful.  Am I having a miscarriage?  Fuck, no.  Oh, fuck.  Eh.  Bummer.  How am I gonna tell Adam Ant that our precious little baby turned out to be a womb goof?  De-fucking-lighted.” — Melanie Rosen

“Hi.  Oh, no, it was more of a one-time thing.  Fuck.  And then I said, ‘Oh, God, the baby!’  You know, ‘What’s happening to the baby?’  And then I, you know, squirted ketchup out of my vagina.  Go.  I feel like I was– I’m not blond.  Okay.  Oh, I added– yeah, but– oh, my God, it hurts!  Fuck!  Am I having a miscarriage?  Ah!  Oh, no!  Am I bleeding?  I feel like I’m bleeding!  Oh, someone help!” — Melanie Rosen

“Watch it, homewrecker!” — Melanie Rosen

“Tits!  Oh.” — Melanie Rosen

“‘Good God.  She’s even more disgusting than they described her.’  Oh, it’s right here where I’m ad-libbing.” — Melanie Rosen

“We didn’t.  I think, nerds just try harder.” — Melanie Rosen



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