HBO, Girls

Female Humans

HBO long-running slice of life comedy series Girls premieres its last season tonight.

Rottentomatoes: 87%

Metacritic: 87

IMDb: 7.3

Emmys: 2 wins

Hannah Horvath, HBO, Girls, Lena Dunham

Hannah Horvath

Hannah Horvath is an aspiring writer with an English major living in Greenpoint, Brooklyn.  Her aspirations have not born much fruit unfortunately, if any at all, but she does her best.

Eventually she nabs an e-book deal, but sadly her editor perishes, and so does the deal.  This blunder also contractually eliminates her personal publishing rights for three years.

Subsequently she works as a substitute English teacher, which also doesn’t pan out, so she begins a hopeful career in freelance writing.

Hannah Horvath, HBO, Girls, Lena DunhamOutstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series

3 nominations: 2012, 2013, 2014

“I’m a growing girl.” — Hannah Horvath

Quote1Work’s going really well, yeah.  My boss said he wants to see my book when it’s done, which is really exciting.Quote2 — Hannah Horvath

“Please avert your eyes.” — Hannah Horvath

Quote1What does it even feel like to be loved that much?  Oh, no.Quote2 — Hannah Horvath

“I think you need to admit something to yourself, which is that you’re sick of eating him out.  ‘Cause he has a vagina.” — Hannah Horvath

“Costs a lot of money to look this cheap.  You’re dumping Charlie.” — Hannah Horvath

Quote1So I texted Adam about tonight, and I have not heard anything back.  Maybe I should call him.  Didn’t you say texting’s like the lowest form of communication on the pillar of chat?  Gotcha.Quote2 — Hannah Horvath

Quote1Okay, but then how am I supposed to get him face-to-face if he refuses to text me?Quote2 — Hannah Horvath

“Think Jessa will really appreciate the welcome-home dinner.  It’s a very friendish thing of us to do.  What?” — Hannah Horvath

“I’m really glad that she’s coming home.” — Hannah Horvath

“Okay, it is so rare that I say this, but I just think she’s fun.  She didn’t fuck your boyfriend.” — Hannah Horvath

Quote1Hello, Alistair.  Hello.  As you know, I’ve been working here for over a year.  Which I recently learned means very valuable as opposed to not at all valuable.  And I wanted to let you know that my circumstances have changed and I can no longer afford to work for free.Quote2 — Hannah Horvath

“Oh, no, I’m not quitting.  I just– I know that Joy-Lynn got hired after interning, So I thought that maybe– I would assume a lot.  No, it is not that, really.  I just, you know, gotta eat.  Do you mean like physically hungry or hungry for the job?” — Hannah Horvath

“Uh, you mentioned that when I was finished with my book, I could send it to you.” — Hannah Horvath

“Hey.  ‘Doll,’ that is what my dad calls me.  I just had the worst ever day.  Um, I got fired from my job.  Well, I was working there for a while so I was technically an intern.  But I was walking over here–  Funny.  I was on my way over here and I was panicking, but then it occurred to me, I’m an English major, there has to be some–” — Hannah Horvath

“Yeah, but you’re an actor, so aren’t you always comparing different literature?” — Hannah Horvath

Quote1Yeah, it all looks awesome.  But what about your play?  Can I sit down?  So if I tell you something will you promise that you won’t judge me?  Till yesterday, I got all of my money from my parents.  Does that make you feel sick?  Make you not want to talk to me?  whoa.Quote2 — Hannah Horvath

“So is, like, that how you support yourself?  I really despise that word.  I hate it so much.” — Hannah Horvath

“I like you so much.  I don’t know where you disappear to.” — Hannah Horvath

“It’s so funny that it’s still light out, but it’s getting dark a lot earlier these days.  Don’t be a jerk.” — Hannah Horvath

Quote1Do you know that part on your resume where they ask you to list all of your special skills?  It’s the thing where they ask you to list, like, yoga, Spanish, waterskiing, photoshop.  I feel like I… don’t have any special skills.  What?  What are the requirements?  Now?  Uh… no?  Just– what did you say?Quote2 — Hannah Horvath

“Okay.  Thank you.  That’s the right spot.  So I can just stay like this for a little while?  Do you need me to move more or like?  I just didn’t know if you wanted to be more like– like that.  I just– I’m sorry about the wrong hole thing.  I just– I don’t want to do it now, and if we did, I’d just want to talk about it and just figure out what– It just not comfortable for me– So you’re not mad at me?” — Hannah Horvath

Quote1What do you mean?  They’re illustrations from children’s books mostly.Quote2 — Hannah Horvath

“Seriously, this was really, really nice.  It was really good to see you.  It made me feel a lot better, so…  I’ll see you soon?” — Hannah Horvath

Quote1Well, I appreciate that, but I don’t know how you’re going to find a job fast enough.  I’m going to have to work at McDonald’s.Quote2 — Hannah Horvath

“It doesn’t mean I have to work there.  I went to college.” — Hannah Horvath

“What does it taste like?  Yeah, I’ll have some.  I think I’m going to be fine, okay?  Hand it over.” — Hannah Horvath

Quote1You are gorgeous and a vision.  You are a brilliant genius.  Both of you are sex godesses.  When I look at both of you, a Coldplay song plays in my heart.Quote2 — Hannah Horvath

Quote1Okay.  All I am asking for to finish this book is $1,100 a month for the next two years.  You would say it’s insane.  Who can live in New York on $1,100 a month?  But I am so committed to this book that I am willing to get pretty thrifty on this.Quote2 — Hannah Horvath

“I’m 24 years old!  Don’t tell me what to do.” — Hannah Horvath

“That was really good.  That was so good.  I almost came.” — Hannah Horvath

“Okay, you are a 23-year old girl who’s had the same boyfriend for four years, so you’re also allowed to be bored.  That’s an okay excuse, too.  I’m sorry if I minimized it.  I’m just unwilling to accept the idea that you have too great a boyfriend.  Although, if you want someone to feed you abusive rhetoric, just send him to Adam’s house for the night.  He’ll learn a lot.” — Hannah Horvath

Quote1I just want someone who wants to hang out all the time and thinks I’m the best person in the world and wants to have sex with only me.  And it makes me feel very stupid to tell you this, because it makes me sound like a girl who wants to, like, go to brunch.  And I really don’t wanna go to brunch, and I don’t want you to, like, sit on the couch while I shop or, like, even meet my friends.  I don’t even want that, okay?Quote2 — Hannah Horvath

“Why are you so mad at me?” — Hannah Horvath

“I don’t love myself.  Um, thank you.” — Hannah Horvath

Quote1I’m scared, okay?  I’m really scared all the time.  I’m like, very scared all the time.Quote2 — Hannah Horvath

Quote1No, because I’m more scared than most people are when they say that they’re scared.  I’m like the most scared person who’s alive.Quote2 — Hannah Horvath

Skeptical, paranoid, quirky, a proponent of the written word Hannah Horvath is a Rational.

Marnie Michaels, HBO, Girls, Allison Williams

Marnie Michaels

Marnie Michaels is Hannah’s best friend.

Marnie Michaels, HBO, Girls, Allison Williams

Quote1You are beautiful, shut up.  Well, you don’t get to, sorry.  I only show my boobs to people I’m having sex with.Quote2 — Marnie Michaels

Quote1I know.  He and I have turned a corner.  His touch now feels like a weird uncle just putting his hand on my knee at Thanksgiving.Quote2 — Marnie Michaels

“I think I have to end it.  I have to.  Why not?  Stop.” — Marnie Michaels

Quote1Bye.  I don’t know.  I can’t feel it anymore.  I know, I just–  and it makes me feel like such a bitch ’cause I can feel him being so nice to me.  And yet it makes me so angry.Quote2 — Marnie Michaels

“You’ve been interning there for a year.  You need to tell them it’s time to get paid.  This is not a joke.  If you can’t afford to pay your half of the rent, Charlie is going to move in here.  I didn’t say that.” — Marnie Michaels

“Hannah, look at me.  He never, ever texts you back.” — Marnie Michaels

Quote1The totem of chat.  No, the lowest, that would be facebook, followed by gchat, then texting, then email, then phone.  Face-to-face is, of course, ideal.  But it’s not of this time.Quote2 — Marnie Michaels

Quote1I just know she’s going to show up late, wearing some fabulous blankety dress from a Grecian marketplace and be like… ‘Oh, I can’t remember where I got this.’  But everytime she comes into town, you go one some week-long bender and then she leaves to go off to her next country and I’m left to pick up the pieces.Quote2 — Marnie Michaels

“Yeah, it was really fun when she fucked Carolyn’s boyfriend.” — Marnie Michaels

“That’s ’cause he was in Prague that semester.  Thanks so much.” — Marnie Michaels

Quote1What would be crazy?  What would turn me on the most?  What would turn you on the most?  Okay, uh…Um, what if you were a stranger?  Right?  What if you were just like a totally different person?  You didn’t act like you?  I think Jessa’s here.  You invited Ray?  That’s called dinner.Quote2 — Marnie Michaels

“You’re not going to work at McDonald’s.” — Marnie Michaels

Quote1Maybe you shouldn’t.  You’re super-sensitive to drugs.Quote2 — Marnie Michaels

“All you need to do is talk to your parents, okay?  You need to ask them to support you for a little itty-bit longer, just while you look for another job.  And tell them that you take your future seriously.  Because you do.  You’re Hannah.” — Marnie Michaels

Quote1I’m not mothering her.  I’m literally preventing a disaster from happening.Quote2 — Marnie Michaels

“See, this is what you do.  You act like I’m uptight, and then I follow suit.  I become uptight.  It is the most frustrating dynamic on the planet.  It drives me crazy.  I can’t stand it.” — Marnie Michaels

Quote1That is a really simplistic explanation for what’s going on.Quote2 — Marnie Michaels

“I pay all the bills in this apartment.  Does that not give me, like, one night off from talking about you and your problems?” — Marnie Michaels

Quote1As it happens, I’m not always in the mood to talk about you.Quote2 — Marnie Michaels

“You’re being very rude right now.” — Marnie Michaels

Quote1Okay, fine!  I’m not a good friend.  I’m gonna throw up.Quote2 — Marnie Michaels

Sweet, romantic, optimistic, empowering Marnie Michaels is an Idealist.

Jessa Johannson, HBO, Girls, Jemima Kirke
Jessa Johansson

Jessa Johansson returns from an extended global sojourn and starts dating Hannah’s ex Adam Sackler.

Jessa Johannson, HBO, Girls, Jemima Kirke“Hi.  Ca va?” — Jessa Johannson

“I love your jumper.” — Jessa Johannson

“Can I put my bags down?” — Jessa Johannson

“Can I have something to eat?” — Jessa Johannson

Quote1Paris is really where you should be.  If you’re a Francophile like… me and you, obviously.  Then you’ve got to go to France.  I was a live-in educator for these three children, and they all sang.  And their father was a brilliant pacifist thinker.Quote2 — Jessa Johannson

Quote1I’m going to find you a job worthy of your talents.Quote2 — Jessa Johannson

“God, she seems like she’s in such a good place.” — Jessa Johannson

Quote1Marnie, you can’t mother her like that.Quote2 — Jessa Johannson

“I’m pregnant.  All right?  I’m pregnant.  What do you think?” — Jessa Johannson

Quote1It’s pot.  Do you want some?Quote2 — Jessa Johannson

“Can I make one?  No, I want to make my own.” — Jessa Johannson

Quote1The heart wants what the heart wants.Quote2 — Jessa Johannson

Quote1The thing is, if you really like him, you have to make it clear that you’re young, fun, and flaky.Quote2 — Jessa Johannson

“Yeah, and notice that since then you have been unemployed with a sandy, broken vagina.” — Jessa Johannson

Bohemian, tasteful, well-traveled, with a firm sense of life’s brevity Jessa Johannson is an Artisan.

Shoshanna Shapiro, HBO, Girls, Zosia Mamet

Shoshanna Shapiro

Shoshanna Shapiro takes a branding integration job in Tokyo, Japan but returns home to New York soon after.

Shoshanna Shapiro, HBO, Girls, Zosia Mamet

Quote1Bonjour, roomie.  Oh, my God.  You’re so hip, I could puke.  I can never pull off that hat.  How do you pull off that hat?Quote2 — Shoshanna Shapiro

“Your skins is, like, hauntingly beautiful.  What?  Oh, my God, of course.  You’re like my favorite cousin.  I’m the only one of my girlfriends that has a British cousin.  How long do you think you’re going to stay for?  Not that I’m asking you to leave.  You can totally stay forever if you want to.  Yeah.” — Shoshanna Shapiro

Quote1Could you not smoke inside?  Oh.  Could you just– could you not smoke ins– It’s, like, I’m totally cool, but–Quote2 — Shoshanna Shapiro

Quote1Oh, no, I’m hyper enough already.  It’s my manifestation board.  I use it for inspiration.  Like, when I’m not feeling inspired, I just look at the board–  Oh, my God, totally.  you should totally make one.  We should make one together.Quote2 — Shoshanna Shapiro

“Yeah, much better idea.  Totes.  You know, Jessa, I’m– What you’re going through is, like, really, really hard for any young woman, and it totally makes sense that you would wanna escape through drug use, but you have to know that you’re not just my cousin, you’re my friend.  And I could not be more proud of you for getting this abortion.” — Shoshanna Shapiro

Quote1I’ve decided I’m not getting a job.  I’m gonna marry Scott the soup mogul, and I’m just gonna be Mrs. Madame Tinsley for the rest of my life.  I’m gonna forgo all of my dreams and ambitions for his, and I’m just gonna become my mother.Quote2 — Shoshanna Shapiro

“Okay, Jessa, I stopped taking advice from you quite some time ago.” — Shoshanna Shapiro

Quote1I am forever sorry for the shame I have brought upon your establishment.Quote2 — Shoshanna Shapiro

Worried, overly communicative, nurturing, anxious, Shoshanna Shapiro is a Guardian.

Adam Sackler, HBO, Girls, Adam Driver

Adam Sackler

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series

3 nominations: 2013, 2014, 2015

“Hey.  Hey, doll.  Yeah, I know.  He told me.  We’re in the same circle jerk.” — Adam Sackler

“You were nearby?  Why?  Weren’t you an intern?  So basically they just asked you to not hang out there anymore?” — Adam Sackler

“Major doesn’t matter.  I was comp lit and it hasn’t done shit.  I-I don’t know.” — Adam Sackler

“Plus I’m into this woodworking stuff.  It’s just more honest.” — Adam Sackler

“Yeah, we’re not doing it.  That guy’s a dick.  Yeah.  Yes.  Okay.” — Adam Sackler

“No, I mean I wouldn’t take shit from my parents.  They’re buffoons.  But my grandma gives me $800 a month.  Mm-hmm.” — Adam Sackler

“Yeah.  I mean, I supplement.  But it gives me the freedom that I don’t have to be anyone’s slave.  You should never be anyone’s fucking slave.  Except mine.  You’re feeling pretty frisky.” — Adam Sackler

“What are you talking about?  I’m right here.  Is this some of your poetry?  Who, me?” — Adam Sackler

“I haven’t applied for a job in a long fucking time.  I have something you can do.  But first I have to see if you fulfill all the requirements.  Lie on your stomach.  Yes, now.  Wait.  You modern career woman, I know what you like.  You think you can just come in here and talk all that noise?” — Adam Sackler

“When I get back, I want you in the exact same position, but take all the rest of the shit off.” — Adam Sackler

“Jesus fucking Christ.” — Adam Sackler

“Let’s play the quiet game.  No, I’m great.  A great time.” — Adam Sackler

“What’s with all the tattoos?  Why’d you do all of them.  You know, I was fat in high school.  Yeah, but I didn’t go drawing all over myself.” — Adam Sackler

“Well, I’m glad.  Thanks for coming.  Yeah, just text me.” — Adam Sackler

“Then just be who you are.” — Adam Sackler

“If you didn’t like the idea, why didn’t you say so?  Help?  I don’t wanna help.  No one does anything ’cause they wanna help.  I was doing it because I love you.  Why do you look so surprised?  Into what?  Love?” — Adam Sackler

“You love yourself so much.  So why is it so crazy that someone else would, too?” — Adam Sackler

“You’re the fucking worst, you know that?  Because you think you’re not pretty and you’re not a good writer and you’re not a good friend.  Well, you are pretty and you are a good writer and you are a good friend.” — Adam Sackler

“Join the fucking club.” — Adam Sackler

“It goes both ways.” — Adam Sackler

“She is my best friend.” — Adam Sackler

One thought on “Female Humans”

  1. Hello,

    I’m an idealist healer looking to learn more about this theory. I’ve been interested in temperament for years now, and was wondering what direction I should take to apply and contribute to this work. I am a psych major about to transfer to cal state Dominguez Hills or cal state Long Beach, haven’t decided yet.

    I’ve read most of your publications (PUM 1+2, personology, brains and careers, portraits of temperament, etc…). If there are any opportunities where I can experience your work first hand, please let me know!

    Also, I am Vice President of the psychology club at my college, was also wondering if anyone in your group would mind giving us a talk this semester or the next about the kind of work you do, and how his theory applies to the real world.

    You can email me here:

    Thank you!


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