Entourage, HBO Max, Home Box Office, Leverage Management

Entertainment Industry

HBO Max original drama Entourage concluded September 11, 2011.

#Entourage creators are developing a film about Julius Caesar’s rise to power.

rottentomatoes: 65%

metacritic: 67

imdb: 8.5

emmys: 6 wins

golden globes: 1 win

SAG awards: 4 nominations

Vincent Chase, Entourage, HBO Max, Home Box Office, Leverage Management, Adrian Grenier

Vinny Chase

Vincent Chase ascends to movie-star status outside of Hollywood, California.

Vincent Chase, Entourage, HBO Max, Home Box Office, Leverage Management, Adrian Grenier

“I’d better sign it. After lunch. It’s black and white. We’re busy. Who cares? The only people I talk to from high school are sitting at this table. Why don’t you meet up with those girls after the show? Come on. Poor guy’s in recovery. He needs a night out. No?! Is it true? Please. Mm-hmm. Ah, you know what I’m saying?” — Vinnie Chase

“You look fine, Johnny. Yeah. He nails it every time. Hey, hey, hey get a picture of me and my brother.” — Vinnie Chase

“Johnny Chase. He steals the film. Nice to see you. Great to see you. Thank you. Hello. Hey, how’d you think it went? Nice. Thank you. Thanks. I appreciate that. Yeah, okay, fine. Hey, how long do we have to be at this thing? Alan who? The one with the hot daughter?” — Vinnie Chase

“What’s up, fellas? I know, he just called. Did you read it? Fuck it then. What do I gotta read it for? I’m not gonna see anything different. What you like, I like. I mean, look at last night. You liked that, and I think we got a hit. No. I didn’t even know who the killer was until I saw the fucking thing. Call Ari and cancel the meeting. Warners. Because at the time I agreed, I still believed I’d read it. You know what? I’ll take the meeting. It’s rude to cancel at the last second. I’ll listen. That’s what good actors do, they listen. Right, Johnny?” — Vinnie Chase

“What’s he done? You did move out on us. You never asked for the guest house, Johnny. Johnny, you’re family. I need you close, all right? Besides, you’re gonna thank me when Charles Manson breaks in the house and slits Eric’s throat while we’re safe and sound with– what’s the dog’s name? Ahnold? I like that. Get the dog, Turtle. Hey, guys, I’ll catch you later.” — Vinnie Chase

“He kept asking me questions. I didn’t know what the hell he wanted. Yeah, you know he didn’t even see my last two films. What’s that about. How can you compare watching a DVD with reading a script?” — Vinnie Chase

“What’s up, Ari? Yeah, listen… really? He loved me. You’re kidding. Yeah, yeah, I’m smiling. I’ll talk to you later. Bye. They just offered me $4 million. E, what do you think I should do?” — Vinnie Chase

“E! Hey, E! I can’t get through it, man. I can’t tell if the script sucks or if it’s just I got the sound of a jet engine in my head.” — Vinnie Chase

“I don’t know, it’s a cop. I’ve never played a cop. Can I play a cop? And when were you on ‘NYPD Blue?’ You know, for $4 million we could buy this house. What do you think, E? Guys, shh, shh. It’s Ari. Yo, Ari, what’s up? Yeah, you know what? I don’t really understand it. I don’t know, it’s a little confusing. Eric hates it. Yeah, he says you should get me $4 million for something I love. You want to talk to him, talk to him. Good, now I don’t always have to be in the middle of everything. What is this, his sweet 16? This is my career. Let Eric handle it.” — Vinnie Chase

“I kinda want to see this dog in action. Hey, Turtle, I’m guessing you want to go to that lingerie party at the mansion on Thursday? Hang in there, Turtle!” — Vinnie Chase

“Hey, fellas, I need to talk to E. Guys, give me a second, all right? I just talked to Ari. He said you threatened to beat him up? He’s my agent. You can’t go around town threatening people, E. We’re not back in high school. You were the night manager at Sbarros, weren’t you? Hey. Okay, so Ari’s an asshole. What do you want me to do, fire him? All right. What’s wrong with you? I care. It’s just, this shit is hard. Picking movies? I can’t do that, I’m an actor. Let me act like an actor. And why don’t you act like you know what the fuck is up? I don’t know, I can’t decide. Yeah. Yeah, well, you don’t. Look, should I do the movie or not? Okay! That’s that. I wanted to take some time off just to chill anyway. Yeah, but I was all stressed those months. Now I’m just gonna chill. Come on, we’ll talk about it in Vegas. Hmm? What do you mean you’re not going to Vegas? Come on, we’ll have a blast. We got ‘The Real World’ suite at the Palms. Yeah, me neither. Those guys were kinda psyched to go, but fuck it. Maybe we’ll bag the reunion, too. You’d go without me? Fuck you. Oh, I know what’s going on. You’re just afraid I’m gonna fuck that little Asian chick you used to chase around. What was her name? Dim Sum Lum. All right, I’ll go. Your passive aggressive shit got me. Well, you’re just going to have to tell her this is my no-fly zone. If she enters my air-space, she’s going down. What was that about? I don’t want any headsets. That’s a good one.” — Vinnie Chase

“It’s Ari. Talk to him. What’d he say? I hope you know what you’re doing, pizza boy. E, I decided we’re going with the Benz. No, I’m set. I had a dream about it lnbast night. You put soy milk in these again? Cool. Oh, really? Read it out loud, E. Come on, man, I’m a big boy. Wow, that’s fucked up. Keep reading. Oh… at least he said I was pretty. Yeah, whatever. Good or bad, you can’t let what these people say affect you. True knockin’. Johnny, you still need some help with that scene? Oooh.” — Vinnie Chase

“Hey, Loretta. How you doing? Who’s that girl? She’s cute as hell. What, the singer? You like Emily? Don’t worry, I’ll hook that shit up. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? ‘Cause my man E here, just got his heart broken. He thinks you’re kinda cute. How you doing? You’ve got a good looking boy there, Ari. Hey, so, what’s up with this Justine Chapin chick? I’m not worried. I think Eric’s worried.” — Vinnie Chase

Ari Gold, Entourage, HBO Max, Home Box Office, Leverage Management, Jeremy Piven

Ari Gold

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series

3 wins: 2006, 2007, 2008

Best Supporting Actor – Television

1 win: 2008

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series

3 nominations: 2007, 2008, 2009

“Eric! Hey. How you doing? He’s over there talking to some people. Well, now why hasn’t he read ‘Matterhorn?’ Come on. What did he do all day? Yeah. Yeah, he’s got one job, to read the fucking scripts. He can’t do it? Tuesday, courtside, all right? If you get him to read– wait for it. Turtle? Get him to read ‘Matterhorn,’ okay?”

“Yeah, I got some foodback from the frog director. He loved you. They wanna wrap you up in a scarf and give you a baguette. They want to throw four million at you. Are you smiling? Can you hear me smiling? Listen. You got my balls tingling, man. They drive that way in Tiananmen Square, bitch? Call me.”

“You get a chance to look at ‘Matternhorn?’ You didn’t understand it? What’s not to understand? Are you kidding? This is your artistic bar mitzvah, baby. You’re gonna step up. You’re the man in this one. Oh, Eric hates it, okay. Come on. What did you think of the script? Fuck Eric. Her, Eric. Why don’t you and I sit down and have dinner? Yeah, you and I. We’ll sit down over at Koi. 7:30, we’ll talk about future plans. Figure out what’s right for us.”

“That sake you’re drinking, my wife and I discovered it in Hokkaido. We were visiting Sofia on the set of ‘Lost.’ I don’t know, that film didn’t really capture the place. Twice as boring in real life. How about you, you dating? What’s going on? The little blonde? I thought she was the one for you. Ask me who I’m fucking. Come on, who am I fucking? Please, come on. Irina Korova. ‘Sports Illustrated’ swimsuit issue, she’s the cover. Let me ask you something. Let me ask you something. Why are you talking Vince out of ‘Matterhorn?’ What is it the dialogue? I can get some hack to come in, rewrite it. No problem, boom. It does matter, what you think. You’re part of the team, baby. Come on. I mean, I gotta know what you think, so I can get you to think what I think, you know? It’s ‘Die Hard’ at Disneyland. What’s not to love? All right, where do you want to watch them blow up? You read the ‘times,’ huh? You read ‘The New Republic?’ Well, I was reading that. And it’s interesting, because what it says, is that you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about! How long you been out here, Eric? How long? 14 months. What were you doing back there? Back on the east coast? There you go. Now, if I was opening a pizzeria, then you and I could work together. Eric, I know you mean well. You’re Vince’s friend and you want to protect him against making a bomb. Bombs are bad. They kill your career, right? Wrong, you know what kills your career? Passing on a hit. I resent this. I don’t do have dinner with people like you. I don’t do it. I don’t do this. You think Hugh Jackman calls me up and says, ‘Hey, Ari, listen, love the script, but I gotta run it past my pizza boy.’ I’ve been doing this for 15 years, okay? What the hell do you know? Come on! You’re gonna get street on me now? Is that you’re gonna do? Can I get a check, please?”

“Hello, Eric. I’d like to talk to Vince. Okay, player, tell him Colin Farrell took ‘Matterhorn.’ Fuck you!”

“Come on in, boys. Hold everything for me, will you? Look at the boy. Look at the boy, huh? Wait, wait, wait. Wait for it. Boom! Look at the ass on my next door neighbor. You see that? Four kids. My wife says it’s impossible to maintain. I know. He likes chicks. Did you see the glance? Look at that. Justine Chapin? Every young actor in Hollywood wants to be the first one in there, man. Take a number. Always the cynic, E. No, we shouldn’t be worried. It’s not even a real paper, Vince. It’s ‘Variety.'”

Johnny Drama, Entourage, HBO Max, Home Box Office, Leverage Management, Kevin Dillon

Johnny Drama

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series

3 nominations: 2007, 2008, 2009

Best Supporting Actor – Television

1 nomination: 2008

“Don’t sign that, Vince. They screwed it up. They got your eye color wrong. They look brown to me. Guy’s smart, he looks out for his image. Bye. Wow. How come nobody says hi to me? ‘Cause that ain’t how it works, asshole. Fucking models. If they were any good they’d be working in New York. We gotta go, 10 year reunion, baby. I hung out with a lot of those kids. What are you hooking him up for? No, no, E. fell off the wagon. I know you’ve been calling Kristen, E. Just say it’s over. ‘Cause we don’t want to tell you she’s a bitch, then two weeks later you get back together and you’re mad at us for saying it. She’s a bitch!”

“Hey, how’s my head? Yeah? Hey, this is my movie, too. All right, all right. ‘I’m outta, motherfuckers!’ You know it. So the head’s good though, right? Yeah, that Rogaine, that shit’s liquid gold, baby. Let’s do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go for it, Vince.”

“Yeah, I’ve been on a bunch of shows, pal.”

“‘Legally Blonde,’ 2:00. Yeah, I get that a lot. Because I have a lot less body fat.”

“How’d it go last night, boy? I fucked like a puma. Did you see any parts for me, E? What?”

“The guy’s a legend, Vince. Just talk about his old movies. He’ll love it. How the fuck would I know? We’re getting a dog? Sweet. He’s got a great body, E. Look at those calves. Yeah! Yeah, which in my mind is still totally fucked up. I shouldn’t have to ask, Vice. I’m your brother. You know what? For two years you guys mooched off me. You ate my food, you fucked my fall-out. My ‘Melrose Place’ fall-out pussy. And what’s my payback? Sharing a bathroom with this fat fuck. Well, you know, I’m working on that thing. But, yeah, I could do it.”

“All directors are pricks. Yeah, baby.”

“Oh, that’s 300 bones plus, and I hit it off the toe. That ain’t Begley’s house. Pierce Brosnan’s got the Spanish roof. I ain’t flying on a jet that your weed dealer handles. Hey, I’m up for a soap. How’s my head? Give me that thing. Take that. Three bones, baby. Three bones.”

“Oh! Cop’s tough. I did four eps of ‘Blue.’ The wrong guy could look real stupid carrying a gun. I was on ‘Pacific Blue,’ cock breath. And you know that! Guy does two years at Queens Community, suddenly he runs this town. You want us to go with him?”

“Here he comes! Get him! Get him! Kill him! Ah!”

“What, were you spanking it? You are! Look, he was tugging it to the lady golfers! You’re not going to bed. We’re going to Vegas. Don’t be a pussy. The maloofs are hooking us up. Vince is upstairs right now emptying out the safe. We should tell him. Both of ’em. No, bro. He didn’t look puffy at all. He was looking real good. I mean, the guy looked like he’s been working out with a personal trainer. Probably a nutritionist, too. What? What? What did I do?”

“He’s good. My vagina is a shell. A round, pink, tender shell, opening and closing and opening. My vagina is a flower– ‘Vagina Monologues.’ Me and Faustino are putting it up in class tonight. It’s a gender reversal exercise, bro. That’s what being a good actor’s all about. Funny, dick. I dreamt about it last night too, Vince. We’re cruising down Rodeo. Suddenly two jerk-offs pull up and say, ‘Hey, Chase brothers, fuck your mother!’ and then opened fire. That’s funny. You’re gonna love this. This is really good, Vince. You’re lactose intolerant, Vince, don’t find it. Fuck critics. Remember what they said about me when ‘Viking Quest’ aired? Well, who laughed their way to a full 22? All the Chase men are pretty. From a no-talent pretty boy like you? I think I’ll pass.”

“Hey, beautiful. 12:00. ‘Teen Beat’ don’t lie, E. You got Welch’s Grape Soda? You order something unusual, people will never forget you. Yeah, seriously, ’cause I’m always ordering weird shit. Now all of a sudden it’s become a problem. Hey, Ari. Vince, Vince. No representation. Just reminding you. Hey, do me a favor. Make sure I’m off book, okay? If your vagina could talk, what would it say in two words? Give me that thing!”

Eric Murphy, Entourage, HBO Max, Home Box Office, Leverage Management, Kevin Connolly

Eric Murphy

Best Television Actor โ€“ Musical/Comedy Series

1 nomination: 2009

“Now not, Turtle. You better sign it. Package? What are you talking about? The poster’s a head shot. How you doing? No, we can’t. We got Vince’s premiere tonight. See ya. How come you don’t say hello to them? Oh, yeah, how’s it work? Speaking of New York, are we gonna go to that reunion or what? You didn’t hang out with ’em. You sold ’em weed in the parking lot and you were already, like, 40. Yes. What are you talking about? No, it’s not true. It’s over. It’s over. Nah, she is a bitch. You’re right.”

“I love it. It’s thick, Drama, thick. Hey, whoa, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny. Why don’t you let Vince go out first, huh? Yo, go find out where Ali’s sitting. Make sure she’s not within 10 rows. And don’t mug for the cameras, either.”

“Off the charts. You kidding me? They love you. We gotta hang out for a little while, have a couple of drinks, mingle a little bit. We’ll leave in a little while. Go take that picture with Alan. Alan the guy that financed the fucking movie, Vince. Come on. No, he’s got the gay son. He’s over there. Go do it, come on. Let’s get a drink, I’ll meet you over here in a few minutes.”

“Excuse me. Hey, Ari. What’s up? He’s over there talking to some people. Ari. The movie just ended. Let him enjoy himself. Today? He worked on his short game. Go tell him that. He’s standing right there. What are you talking to me for? I will take care of it. Relax, have fun tonight, will you? What do you need? What are you, an asshole? I’m gonna revenge fuck someone ’cause she kinda looks like my ex? Yeah, I’m sure some girl just told you she loves to give head, too, right?”

“Oh, boy, here she comes. Are we gonna do this again tonight? Come on. Don’t get mad at me, I didn’t do anything. Could you get laid without Vince? That’s the question.”

“I love in the guest house. Ah, nothing. It’s just you kind of remind me of somebody. It’s freaking me out a little bit.”

“Morning, Jorge. How you doing? Watch this shot, you ready? Oh, Roberto, sorry about that, buddy. Morning, Blanca. Morning, guys. What do you want, a play-by-play? That’s great. Yo, Vince, man, you gotta read this thing. Ari’s going nuts. Yeah. I didn’t like it. Well, I don’t know. I mean, you might see something different. Yeah, I liked it, but you still read it. You’re kidding me, right? Unbelievable. What meeting is that? Can I ask you a question? Why would you agree to a meeting when you haven’t read the script? All right, cancel the meeting. What are you gonna talk about?”

“This isn’t a guard dog. This is a fucking lawsuit. Forget it. Fuck you guys. I live in the guest house. Oh, boy, here we go. Your what? Yeah, do what you gotta do, but I don’t pick up dog shit.”

“There’s no use beating yourself up over it, Vince. If you didn’t like the guy, you didn’t like the guy. You didn’t read his script. Holy shit. Are you kidding me? I think you should read the fucking thing.”

“Next time aim west. I don’t need Ed Begley rolling up here in his electric car again. Guys, give it up, all right? Vince isn’t gonna do some dog shit movie just so he can time-share a jet. This coming from a guy who thought ‘Guiding Light’ was a cool idea four years ago. If we listen to you we’d all be working for some loser on a soap. Sorry, Drama. The what? You’re such an idiot. Yo. What’s the problem? Shut up, Turtle. Keep reading. Look, I just think if they’re gonna give you four million for this, they’re gonna give you four million for something you love. You’re an idiot, dude. No, I don’t want to talk. I’m not talking to him. No. Fucking… hey, Ari, what’s up? Tonight? Okay, cool. All right, I’ll see you there. He wants to have dinner with me tonight. Talk about finding you a new project.”

“And how is this dog gonna protect you? You can’t even get him out of the crate. What do you want to do, Vince? Whoo!”

“Uh, well, I broke up with Kristen. You know that, right? Brunette, actually, but yeah. I guess she thought her ex was a better play. Mrs. Ari? I don’t know who that is. Oh, she’s that Russian chick. Yeah, I think Vince hit that. Did you ask him first? I’m kidding with you, Ari, relax. I didn’t talk him out of it. Ari, look, it doesn’t matter what I think. Okay, well, I didn’t love it. Personally, I don’t want to watch kids blowin’ up at Disneyland. Nowhere, that’s the point. I just read an article in the ‘Times,’ the ‘New York Times,’ not this shit they got out here– yeah. I’ve heard of it. Ari, look, I thought we were gonna sit here, and talk about how we could find a project that Vince loves, you know, and how you and I could work together. About 14 months. Managing an Italian restaurant. Ari, don’t blame me if you can’t get your client to do what you want him to do. I know that two years ago, you were the asshole that wouldn’t call Vince back. I also know, Ari, I’m telling you, you ever fucking talk to me like that again, I will slap that grin right off your face. You know what? Enjoy your dinner. This sake sucks.”

“Fucking scared the shit out of me. Yeah, I’m jerking off to ‘Sportscenter.’ Whatever. I’m going to bed. I’ll tell you about it in the morning. What are you talking about? We’re flying out for the reunion tomorrow. I’m not going to Vegas. Okay, well, put 10 bucks on red and I’ll see you guys in New York. What are you talking about? She’s back with what’s-his-face, the ‘restauranteur.’ She had her hand down his pants? Vince Vaughn? That puffy motherfucker. You’re the worst fucking actor I’ve ever seen, that’s what. And how is this funny, anyway? Look at me. I’m shaking here. I feel like I’m gonna throw up. Oh, yeah, why’s that? Yeah, payback’s gonna be a bigger bitch, Turtle. You’ll see. Yeah, the guy’s a real prick, Vince. He called my pizza boy. You know what? Fuck you, too. How about that? Yeah, that’s what I want you to do. I want you to call him right now and I want you to fire him. What are you doing? Put the phone down, asshole. Look at you, you’re ready to fire your agent. This is your life, your career. You care about that at all, or what? So what are you saying? You want me to make your decisions for you? Jesus Christ. Do you know where I’d be if I had your face? You know what I think? I think the script’s a piece of shit and I don’t think you should do the movie. Come on, Vince. Who are you kidding? You’ve been chilling for three months. Whatever. I’m not going to Vegas. I’m not gonna go. Nah, I’m not gonna go. I’m not bagging the reunion. Yeah, I’d rather go without you. I’m not trying to be an asshole, I’m just saying you go and it turns into the Vince show. Sarah Lum. I don’t care about Sarah Lum. Don’t call her that. All right, we leave for the airport at 3:00. And don’t even look at Sarah Lum. Your air space?”

“Turtle, where’d you pack the Bose headsets? The ones I told you to pick up for the flight yesterday. Yes, I did. I told you to go to the Bose store and pick up four fucking pairs of Bose headsets. Vince wants to listen to music on the flight, he doesn’t want to hear you jabbering in his fucking ear. Now fucking go! Just fucking go! Meet us at the airport. You also don’t want to be driving around in a car that has that on it. Laugh it up, Drama. You’re next.”

“Hello? Hey, Ari. Yeah? He’d like you to talk to me. Colin Farrell’s doing ‘Matterhorn.’ What the fuck is wrong with you? ‘Vagina Monologues?’ I thought that was for girls. Sorry, Drama. I thought you already had your gender reversed. You sure? I mean, you changed your mind 10 times already. That had to be a dream. Somebody recognized you? Did you get the trades? You don’t want to hear this, Vince. ‘In ‘Head On,’ a by-the-numbers crime thriller, only one thing is proven beyond a reasonable doubt: Vincent Chase is guilty of fraud.’ ‘This fly-by-night pretty boy, who’s been tapped as the ‘it actor’ of the moment, makes walking and talking seem so difficult that by the end, you wish someone would just let the man rest.’ You all right? All right, look, we got Ari in 30 minutes, so…”

“Loretta. No way that girl’s a virgin. Bullshit. I don’t buy it. Oh, yeah? Where’d you grow up? It’s the girl’s first day. You really need to hassle her? I don’t even know the girl. No, don’t do it. Stop. Ah, come on, she’s not a virgin. So, Ari, should we be worried about this review?”

Turtle, Entourage, HBO Max, Home Box Office, Leverage Management, Jerry Ferrara


“What’s going on? How you doing? Love the caddy. Hey, baby, what’s up? You leaving? Damn. Yo, Vince, you need to sign this. It’s for Mary at Nike. You want her to shut down our shoe supply? At least they didn’t fuck up your package. I’m just saying, shit happens. I heard Warren Beatty sent back 300,00 one sheets for ‘Heaven Can Wait’ ’cause his dick looked too small in sweat pants. Incoming. Yo, check this out right here. Oh, excuse me, you drop these? ‘Cause you’re not hot enough. We? You weren’t even in our class. Yeah, what the fuck?”

“So what are you worried about? Oh, I forgot. Give us your line again. Pavarotti’s are out tonight, huh, E? Check out the tits on the girl from ‘Extra.’ Come on!”

“Every year, after every premiere, Vince likes to go night swimming. Excuse, Ari– what does he need? I’m on ass patrol. I got a six pack. One of ’em kinda looks like Kristen. I’m just saying, revenge fuck. I would. More importantly, this girl told me she loves me to give head. Since I know you desperately need it, I’m gonna make sure she gives it to you. No, I told her I loved Derek Jeter first. Then she told me that.”

“I don’t even think he came tonight, Ali. Come on, E. Let’s go. These girls are hot. They won some KROQ premiere contest. They want to party. But first they want to meet Vince, so you gotta hook that shit up. Do I give a fuck? That’s the answer.”

“Come on, what do I gotta do to get a little? I’d get on my knees, but I’d drown. Sweetheart, look around. Vice is gone. So is your sister and your best friend. Come on, just make out with me. I’ll show you where Vince eats breakfast.”

“What’s up? My girl went nuts, E. First, second, juggling the speedbags. The next, she was telling me how her uncle used to watch her shower. Don’t sweat it. Gave her a pair of Vince’s jeans. She left thrilled. A hit? We got a monster, Vince!”

“Vince’ll love that. He’ll love that. All right, thanks. Says he’s got a dog that’d be perfect for us. A guard dog. Check out the picture. He’s beautiful. Uh, I was talking to Vince, all right. This is house business. You don’t live in the house, so it’s not your business. Half-brother. Vince thought you were his cousin till, like, 14. Do you need to go at my weight, you balding, unemployable douche bag? Ahnold! Quick decisions. That’s why you’re a star, Vince. Yeah, yeah. Come on, you know I’m good for it.”

“Fucking French. Don’t understand a word they say. Vince, don’t even worry. It’s probably a dumb movie, anyway. Yes, yes, yes!”

“You know, I bet black hack can get us a deal on this G-5. He don’t fly the fucking thing. He knows brokers. Who says it’s a shit movie? Sounded like a cool idea to me. Look, Vince would be a star no matter what. It was pre-destined, all right. The kid’s a triple-threat. He’s got the look, he’s got the talent, he’s got the head. The head, the big head. You guys telling me you don’t know this? You guys telling me you don’t know this? The bigger the head, the bigger the star. Bruce Willis, big head. Russell Crowe, big head. Arnold Schwarzenegger, big head. Vincent Chase, big, big head. Not so big. But your ears are huge if that helps you out at all. Ooh. Nah, Vince, G-5’s whisper quiet. You going for Brosnan?”

“You suck. You can play anything, Vince! And when were you on ‘NYPD Blue?’ Oh. You only got two for the last movie, Vince. That’s a big bump up. What the fuck do you know? Yo fellas, the puppy’s here, baby!”

“Relax, E. Just gotta bond with him, learn his language. Three days he’ll be taking chicken out of my mouth. Right, baby. Drama, don’t stare at him, you retard. Yeah, what do you guys got in mind?”

“All right, you pansies, let her rip! Not the nuts! I need ’em for Miss August! Get him off!”

“How was your big dinner with Ari? No, we’re flying from Vegas. Black Hack got us a jet. Should we tell him? Kristen’s fucking Vince Vaughn! She was in the middle of forty deuce with her hand down Vince Vaughn’s pants. Yeah, it was kinda like ‘Swingers’ Vince Vaughn, not ‘old school’ Vince Vaughn. Kind of like a new Vince Vaughn. You indicating motherfucker! We had him! You deserve it. You broke the rule: no girlfriends, no commitments. Please, Vince, talk to the guy. He’s being a little bitch.”

“Check it out, fellas. Jacket still fits. What Bose headsets? You didn’t tell me to pick up any Bose headsets. Jesus, what got into you? What a bunch of bullshit! Bag. Headsets? I’m only getting three. We’ll be bumpin’ biggie, you’ll be humming show tunes. Guy thinks he’s the boss all of a sudden.”

“Come on, boy. Oh, who’s a good boy? Yo, Vince, they got the stains out of your black Dolces. And I only got you nine iPods ’cause they ran out. Right here, boss. I’m just warning you, it ain’t pretty. Fucking prick called you a thespian. Yeah, you’re a real beauty queen, Drama. That’s right, ’cause you’re a fucking star.”

“Loretta, how you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? That was fucking Justine Chapin, bro. That’s what she’s famous for. She’s saving it till marriage, everybody knows that. You are new, honey. Yeah, I’ll have a water. Oh, I think E’s got something for that Emily. Okay. Eat me!”

Los Angeleans

“Hey, Turtle. Hey, Vince. Hey, Eric. You guys going to that Motorola party tonight? Oh my gosh, that’s right. Why aren’t we on the list? Good luck, call us.”

Los Angelean

“Hey, Turtle.”

Los Angelean 2

“Hi, Turtle.”

Los Angelean 3


House Staff

“Buenos dias.”


“One more. You used to be on that show, right? Vince’s brother, what’s your name? One more, guys. One more!”


“Hey, guys, I’m Emily, Ari’s new assistant. Hi. It’s good to meet guys from Queens. My dad’s from Flushing. Oh, I grew up out here. But don’t hold that against me, all right. Can I offer you anything to drink? Water. Yeah, he’s in a meeting. Can he call you back, please? Thank you. Ari Gold’s office, please hold. Oh, yeah? Which one’s E? Hey! Yeah. Ari Gold’s office, please hold.”

Red Carpet

“Hey, how you doing? Love the movie. Vin, how are you? You did a great job. Can I have a picture with you? Thanks, you guys. That was you?”

Vinnie Fan 1

“So, you all live together? Well, I’m a guest. Show me. What’s wrong? Ah. Well, come on. You can tell me about her.”

Vinnie Fan 2

“Are you really Vince’s brother? Y’all don’t look very much alive. Oh.”

Vinnie Fan 3

“Beg. Look, it’s not like I don’t think you’re cute, but, I’m just still hoping I’m gonna be the one that fucks Vince. Okay.”

Ali Larter

“Where’s Vince? I can’t find him anywhere. Do not fuck with me, Turtle! Just tell me where he is. Go fuck yourself, Eric.”

Mark Wahlberg

“Whoa, it’s the wrecking crew. Hey, Turtle, I hooked you up with my friend, right? That shit ain’t free. Pay him his fucking money. Drama, let’s tee it up, man.”


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