Filmmakers are reportedly looking to cast an unknown actress for the lead role of Artemesia in the 300 sequel titled 300: Battle of Artmesia, with screen testing to happen soon.  The films events will be concurrent with the first film (which was a fictionalized account of the battle of Thermopylae), and will be told from the point of view of the Persian King Xerxes. A synopsis tell us that ‘Artemesia’ entices Xerxes to go to war using her “vindictive charm”.  While the idiots in Hollywood that made 300 and that are going to make its sequel are rampant morons and are giving us a highly inaccurate account of what are actually pretty dope historical events (the Greco-Persian wars), let’s not dampen the mood and proceed by taking a look at the son of Darius the Great: mighty King Xerxes I of Persia.

King Xerxes son of Darius and Atossa of the Persian Empire was dubbed the ‘chosen king’ of Persia being a descendent of both Darius the Great and Cyrus the Great.  Naturally he came to be called what?  You guessed it.  Xerxes the Great.  Xerxes was crowned and succeeded his father in October 486 BC at the age of 36.  Xerxes’ ascension to the throne was a smooth transition, as he immediately quelled active revolts in Egypt and Babylon.  Xerxes’ first major undertaking as King of Persia of course was the second Persian invasion of Greece, an immense campaign that his father had made preparations for but could not lead due to his failing health.  Xerxes then finished preparations and led his highly regimented and extremely diverse Persian army of more than two million strong across the Hellespont.  Moving two million soldiers across a continent being a supreme logistical feat in and of itself, Xerxes topped such an accomplishment by bridging the Hellespont, an engineering and organizational triumph.  The first attempt to bridge the Hellespont was not successful and in classic Guardian fashion Xerxes had the Hellespont Sea literally whipped for its impudence.  Supremely authoritative, strictly commanding, extremely directive, and a logistical genius King Xerxes is undoubtedly a Supervisor Guardian.  Indeed Xerxes led the Achaemenid Empire with an iron fist.  Disobeying orders, rank, or command was fatal as Xerxes like many Supervisors was extremely ‘eager to enforce rules and procedures’.  Supervisors however do ‘have a tendency to jump to conclusions too quickly’ as evidenced by Xerxes ordering a body of water to be whipped.  Xerxes makes another brash decision after besting the Greek forces with some resistance (at Thermopylae as portrayed in 300), he reportedly had Athens burned out of spite.  Realizing that his anger may have gotten the best of him, Xerxes ordered the city rebuilt the next day.  The Battle of Thermopylae took place simultaneously with the naval Battle of Artemisium, the events of which the upcoming film will no doubt portray in typical moronic Hollywood fashion.  300: Battle of Artemisia is slated for a 2013 release.

 There’s no turning back for either side of this conflict, only the question of who strikes first and who gets struck.  Either our land will be theirs, or theirs will be ours; our mutual hatred allows no compromise.

—Xerxes I of Persia