Onward, Walt Disney Pictures, Pixar Animation Studios, Disney+

Fantasy Suburbs

Pixar original film Onward dropped on Disney+ last Friday April 3, 2020.

#PixarOnwardwas released digitally in response to the COVID-19 pandemic.

rottentomatoes: 88%

metacritic: 61

imdb: 7.5

Ian Lightfoot, Onward, Pixar Animation Studios, Walt Disney Pictures, Disney+, Tom HollandIan Lightfoot (Tom Holland)

Ian and Barley Lightfoot reconvene with their father outside of  New Mushroomton, USA.

Ian Lightfoot, Onward, Pixar Animation Studios, Walt Disney Pictures, Disney+, Tom Holland“Morning, mom.  No, mom.  What?  Oh.  You know.  Finally fits.  Okay, okay.  Mom, I gotta eat something before school.  It’s not a party, mom.  It’s just us.  I’m, uh, pretty sure I didn’t say it like that.  And besides, I don’t even know them.  No!  No.  I’m not scared, mom.  I’m gonna move Barley’s game.  Well, he’s gotta learn how to clean up his toys.  Oh, come on!  I’m not testing anything.  Let me go.  Ugh.  I’m just, you know, making toast.  I don’t.  Hey!  Careful of dad’s sweatshirt!  Well, you do only have, like, two memories of him.  Drums on his feet.  Right.  Whoa!  No!  Uh, you know… I’m just gonna get some food on the way to school.  Oh, no, no, no, no.  Don’t do that.  Don’t do that.  Okay, bye!  Excuse me?  Oh, no.  This was my dad’s.  Yeah.  Really?  Yeah.  Thanks.  What?  Why?  Yeah.  Wow.  I’ve never heard any of this about him before.  What else do you remember?  Yeah.  You, too.  Huh.  Bold.” — Ian Lightfoot

“Hey, uh, Gorgamon.  Um… would you mind not putting your feet on my chair today?  It just makes it a little hard for me to fit in there.  Uh… no.  Okay, yeah.  I’m, uh, super ready for that.  It’s nice and fast.  Yep.  Just any minute.  Uh… I’m not ready!” — Ian Lightfoot

“Oh, hey.  What up, dudes?  Um… I’m, uh, having a party tonight, and I was wondering if you wanted to come over and get down on some cake.  That’s not something anyone says.  Okay, don’t say ‘dudes.’  ‘Gang?’  What’s up, gang?  What’s up, gang?  Hey.  What’s up, gang?  Oh!  I didn’t know you new my… anyway… uh, if you like parties, then I’m… I was gonna do a party… what I was trying to say is if you’re not doing anything tonight… but I’m sure you probably are doing something tonight… and you like cake like I like cake, I’ve got a cake at my house.  That’s the one.  Really?  I guess we can just take the bus over to my house.  Oh, no, no, no.  Uh… hey, Barley.  Yeah, we were actually gonna take the bus.  He’s just joking around.  Oh!  Uh… you know what?  I just remembered that my birthday is, uh, canceled.  I mean, the party.  Uh, it was never actually happening.  It was just this huge misunderstanding.  So, I got to go.  Okay.  Bye!  Can we please just go home?” — Ian Lightfoot

“Mom?  Mom?  Hi, dad.  It’s me, Ian.  Yeah.  Did you have a good day?  Yeah.  Me, too.  Although, I could clearly use some help.  I sure do wish I could spend the day with you sometime.  Well, there are so many things we could do.  I bet it’d be really fun.  Yeah.  I mean, I’d love to.  We could, uh… yeah.  Bye.” — Ian Lightfoot

“It’s okay.  Yeah.  A very humble sewing master.  What was dad like when he was my age?  Was he always super confident?  I wish I’d met him.  What is it?  I don’t know.  Mom said it was for both of us.  There’s a letter.  ‘Dear Ian and Barley, long ago, the world was full of wonder.  It was adventurous, exciting, and best of all, there was magic.  And that magic helped all in need.  But it wasn’t easy to master.  And so the world found a simpler way to get by.  Over time, magic faded away, but I hope there’s a little magic left in you.  And so I wrote this spell, so I could see for myself who my boys grew up to be.’  Back?  Like back to life?  That’s not possible.  I’m gonna meet dad?  Yeah.  That’s okay.  Thanks, mom.” — Ian Lightfoot

“‘Only once is all we get, grant me this rebirth.  Till tomorrow’s sun has set… one day to walk the earth.’  I don’t know.  It just started.  Barley, no!  Dad?  Oh, what did I do?  This is horrible.  Uh… hello?  Whoa, whoa!  He can’t hear us.  What are you doing?  Hi, dad.  I messed this whole thing up.  Now he’s gonna be legs forever.  Okay, okay, okay.  24 hours.  That doesn’t give us much time, but… well, we’ll just have to do the spell again.  Okay!  Okay.  But I couldn’t even finish the spell.  Barley, this is for a game.  How do we know this tavern is still there?  Whatever it takes, I am gonna meet my dad.” — Ian Lightfoot

“Uh, maybe we should just take the bus.  Anyway, it’s just, like, this award for math.  It’s no big deal.  But I’ll show you when we get back home.  You know, I felt weird talking to dad without a top half, so… ta-da!  Showing dad your van?  That’s your whole list?  Oh.  I’m just working on a list of things I wanted to do with dad.  You know, play catch, take a walk, driving lesson, share my whole life story with him.  This book is for a game.  Okay, dad.  Let’s try some magic.” — Ian Lightfoot

Aloft ElevarAloft Elevar.  I can’t get this levitation spell to work.  Maybe I could try something else like Arcane Lightning?  Yeah, well, it’s not working.  Am I saying it wrong?  My what?  Aloft ElevarAloft ElevarAloft ElevarAloft Elevar!  Stop saying ‘heart’s fire.’  This just clearly isn’t working.  Huh.  It is still here.  Come on, dad.  That’s good.  Wait, wait, wait.  The map?  I thought she had a Phoenix Gem.  Well, is there anything else you’re forgetting to tell me?  That’s the Manticore?  Oh.  That’s a children’s menu.  It’s our dad.  And we have a chance to meet him, but… miss mighty Manticore, ma’am… it’s just, I’ve never met my dad and… please, we need that map.  Well, I’m not!  You say you can’t risk losing this place.  Look at that Manticore.  She looked like she lived to take risks.  Apparently, you did.  Well, it’s not too late.  I mean, you could just give us the map.  Oh.  No!  No, no, no!  No.  Aloft Elevar!” — Ian Lightfoot

“I can’t believe that worked.  Except we don’t have a map.  Well, according to Kayla, we just have to look for Raven’s point.  Raven’s Point.  Raven’s Point.  Tomorrow morning?  Yeah.  Well, it looks like the expressway should take us right there.  But the expressway is faster.  I know you want this to be like one of your adventure games, but all that matters is that we get to spend as much time as possible with dad.  So, we should just take the expressway, right?  Looks like we’re not gonna get to do everything today, dad.  That’s okay.  I just wanna meet you.  But don’t worry, we’ll, uh, have you fixed up and back home to see… oh, man.  Mom!  Barley, we’re not gonna be able to get dad back in time to see mom.  Yeah.  Barley, Barley, Barley.  Every time there’s trouble, I gotta deal with you.  Yeah.  I thought you said you fixed the van.  But it says we have a full tank.  Hmm.  Is htere a magic way to get gas?  Uh, that’s kind of a weird idea.  Okay.  Loosen up.  Heart’s fire.  Here we go.  A magic what?  Okay.  Ow!  Splinter.  Can we sand this thing down?  All right.  All right.  Here we go.  Focus.  Uh… great.  Barley!  Magnora Gantaun!  Okay.  What?  I’m trying to focus here.  Barley!  Ah!  Forget it!” — Ian Lightfoot

Barley Lightfoot, Onward, Pixar Animation Studios, Walt Disney Pictures, Disney+, Chris PrattBarley Lightfoot (Chris Pratt)

“Halt!  Doth my brother dare disrupt an active campaign?  You know, Ian, in the days of old, a boy of 16 would have his strength tested in the Swamps of Despair.  Okay.  There’s a mighty warrior inside of you.  You just have to let him out.  Right, mom?  If you tried a little harder, you actually could probably wiggle out of this.  See?  Mom knows how to let out her inner warrior.  Ah, Officer Bronco.  I don’t know what you’re talking about.” — Barley Lightfoot

“I will not let you tear down this fountain.  Ancient warriors on grand quests drank from its flowing water.  They’re destroying the town’s past.  Quests of Yore isn’t just a board game.  It’s a historically-based role-playing scenario.  Did you know, in the old days, centaurs could run 70 miles an hour?  Well, Ian, you could definitely learn a lot from Quests of Yore.  You wanna play?  You could be a craft rogue or… ooh!  I know!  You can be a wizard.  I shall cast a spell on thee!  I don’t even remember dad wearing that sweatshirt.  No, I’ve got three.  I remember his beard was scratchy, he had a goofy laugh, and I used to play drums on his feet.  I used to go… five-second rule.  Hah!  It’s okay.  You just got pull it.  Wait, wait, wait.  By the laws of yore, I must dub thee a man today.  Kneel before me.  We’ll perform the ceremony at school.” — Barley Lightfoot

“Ha-ha!  Is that the birthday boy I see?  Behold!  Your chariot awaits!  Sir Iandore of Lightfoot.  Hey, Ian!  The bus?  Nay!  I will give you and your companions transport upon Guinevere.  My mighty steed.  Oh.  That’s embarrassing.  That’s okay, girl.  Patch you back up.  Ooh.  Whoops!  Sorry.  Let me just file those.  Hey, did those kids write on your face?  Here, I’ll get it.  Okay, well, we’ll perform your birthday ceremony later.  Then you’ll be ready for adulthood and its gauntlet of challenges.  You know, in ancient times, you celebrated your day of birth with a solemn quest.  Of course, those were nothing compared to the challenges of the old days.” — Barley Lightfoot

“Sorry, mom!  What do you mean it’s from dad?  What is it?  No way!  It’s a wizard staff.  Dad was a wizard.  ‘Visitation spell.’  I don’t believe this.  This spell brings him back.  For one whole day, dad will be back.  It is with this!  Now, a spell this powerful needs an assist element.  And, I mean, for this to work, dad would’ve had to find a Phoenix Gem!  Wow.  There’s only a few of these left.  We’re about to find out.  Ah!  Splinter.  ‘Only once is all we get, grant me this rebirth.  Till tomorrow’s sun has set, one day to walk the earth.’  Hold on.  I was just grippin’ it wrong.  ‘Only once is all we get, grant me this rebirth.  Till tomorrow’s sun has set, one day to walk the earth.’  ‘Only once is all we get, grant me this rebirth.  Till tomorrow’s sun has set, one day to walk the earth.’  ‘Only once is all we get, grant me this rebirth.  Till tomorrow’s sun has set, one day to walk the earth.'” — Barley Lightfoot

“Hey, man, what are you doing in here?  Holy Tooth of Zadar!  How did you…?  Whoa!  Feet!  Hang on.  I can help!  He’s just legs.  There’s no top part.  I definitely remember dad having a top part!  It’s really him.  Dad, you are in your house.  That’s right, dad.  It’s me, Barley.  Yeah, that’s Ian.  No, not forever.  The spell only lasts one day.  At sunset tomorrow, he’ll disappear, and we’ll never be able to bring him back again.  You mean you have to.  A person can only do magic if they have the gift.  And my little brother has the magic gift.  Well, you’re gonna have plenty of time to practice.  ‘Cause we have to find another Phoenix Gem.  A-ha!  We’ll start at the place where all quests begin.  The Manticore’s Tavern.  It’s run by a fearless adventurer.  She knows where to find any kind of gem, talisman, totem… based on real life.  It’s there.  Look, my years of training have prepared me for this very moment.  And I’m telling you, this is the only way to find a Phoenix Gem.  Trust me.  You hear that, dad?  We’re going on a quest.” — Barley Lightfoot

“Come on, Guinevere.  She’s fine.  Hey, uh, what are you two Chatty Charlies up to back there?  Oh, that’s great!  Dad, you look just like I remember.  Hey, don’t worry, we’ll have the rest of you here before you know it.  And then, first thing I’m gonna do, introduce you to Guinevere.  Rebuilt this old girl myself, from the lug nuts to the air conditioning.  What list?  What’s that?  That’s cool.  Oh.  But before you cast dad’s spell again, you’re gonna have to practice your magic.  I told you, everything in Quests of Yore is historically accurate.  Even the spells.  So start practicing, young sorcerer.  Yeah, like a level-one mage could bust out the hardest spell in the Enchanter’s Guide Book.  Maybe we’ll stick with the easy ones.  Well, mmm, you said it right.  It’s just, for any spell to work, you have to speak from your heart’s fire.  Your heart’s fire.  You must speak with passion.  Don’t hold back.  No, like Aloft Elevar.  No, from your heart’s fire!  Don’t hold back.  Heart’s fire!  Hey, it was a good start.  Oh.  Gather your courage, men.  We’ve arrived.  The Manticore’s Tavern.  Yeah, I told you.  All right, listen.  First, let me do the talking.  Secondly, it’s crucial we show the Manticore the respect she deserves, or she will, thirdly, not give us a map to the Phoenix Gem.  You’re so cute.  Hear that, dad?  He’s a smart kid, he just doesn’t know how quests work.  Mmm.  No.” — Barley Lightfoot

“Okay, okay, so the tavern changed a little over the years, but the Manticore is still the real deal.  Madam, I request an audience with the Manticore.  No.  No, no, no.  The real Manticore.  The fearless adventurer.  Oh, great and powerful Manticore.  Your fearlessness?  My brother and I seek a map to the Phoenix Gem.  That’s very amusing, your dominance, but might you have the real map?  That’s it.  This is perfect.  We have to.  But we can’t do that without a Phoenix Gem.  What?  Why?  Okay, I can handle this.  No, Ian.  What are you doing?  Whoa, whoa, whoa!  Oh, no.  We gotta go!” — Barley Lightfoot

“That was unbelievable.  I mean, you were just like… and the beam was just floating there!  My brother is a wizard.  Oh!  You’re gonna nail dad’s spell now.  But we’ve got this.  Behold!  Look, on a quest, you have to use what you’ve got.  And this is what we’ve got.  Best part is, little Kayla already solved the puzzle.  Yes!  The gem must be in the mountain.  We could be there by tomorrow morning.  That still gives us plenty of time with dad.  Mmm.  Expressway is a little too obvious.  On a quest, the clear path is never the right one.  During one Quests of Yore campaign, Shrub Rosehammer and I took the easy route, led him straight into the belly of a gelatinous cube.  Only reason I didn’t suffer the same fate?  I followed my gut.  And it’s telling me we take an ancient trail called the Path of Peril.  Maybe not in the long run.  Yeah, you’re right.  But if you end up inside a gelatinous cube, you are on your own.” — Barley Lightfoot

“Radio, headlights, brakes, tires, rims.  I mean, it’s hard to tell now, dad, before I replaced her parts, Guinevere was actually kind of a piece of junk.  Oh.  Well, dad, at least you won’t have to meet the new guy.  So y, you workin’ hard or hardly workin’?  Is that your Colt?  You’re gonna wanna work on that.  no, no, no!  Come on, old girl.  Relax.  Guinevere is fine.  Her stomach is just a little empty.  No.  That doesn’t work.  Oh.  Only a few drops left.  Maybe if there’s a gas station… oh!  I like your thinking, young mage.  Growth spell!  We grow the can, and then the gas inside will grow with it.  I know!  I like it, too.  Whoa.  It’s not that simple.  This one learns a little magic, thinks he’s Shamblefoot the Wondrous, am I right, dad?  A growth spell is a bit more advanced.  Not only do you have to speak from your heart’s fire, but now you also have to follow a magic decree.  It’s a special rule that keeps the spell working right.  This one states, ‘to magnify an object, you have to magnify your attention upon it.’  While you cast the spell, you can’t let anything distract you.  What?  No.  It’s an ancient staff with magic in every glorious fiber.  You can’t sand it down.  Something wrong?  Sorry, it’s just, your stance is, uh… here.  Chin up, elbows out, feet apart, back slightly arched.  Okay, how’s that feel?  Oh, one more thing… okay, okay.  Don’t let the magic spook you.  Elbows!  Elbows up!  No, no, no, it’s too high.  That’s too high.  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.  Focus.  Focus on the can.  Focus.  Focus.  It worked!  The can is huge.” — Barley Lightfoot

Laurel Lightfoot, Onward, Pixar Animation Studios, Walt Disney Pictures, Disney+, Julia Louis-DreyfusLaurel Lightfoot (Julia Louis-Dreyfus)

“I’m a mighty warrior.  Oh!  Blazey, down!  Bad dragon!  Back to your lair.  Happy birthday, Mr. Adult Man.  Hey, buddy.  Don’t wipe off my kisses.  You’re wearing your dad’s sweatshirt.  Aw, my little chubby cheeks is all grown up!  Ah, we don’t have much food.  I still have to go to the grocery store.  Ah, hands off, mister.  Those are for your party tonight.  You could invite those kids from your science class.  You said they seem pretty rockin’.  Well, your birthday’s a day to try new things.  Be the new you.  Speaking of trying new things, did you sign up for driving practice?  I know you’re a little scared to drive, sweetie pie, but… okay, but you know how he gets when someone touches that board.  Let him go.  Oh, that’s good.  Barley!  You stink!  When was the last time you showered?  Thank you.  Now, take out the trash.  Barley.  Ugh, well, come on in.  Rest your haunches for a minute.  I’m serious, Barley, you need to start thinking less about the past and more about your future.  Barley!  I’ll sew that later tonight, okay?” — Laurel Lightfoot

“Oh, my… Barley, keep your soldiers off my land or our kingdoms will go to war!  Oh, this is the world’s longest gap year.  Honey, I was gonna do that.  Wow!  You must have been taught by some kind of sewing master.  Oh, no.  It took him a while to find out who he was.  Oh, me, too.  But, hey, you know, when your dad got sick, he fought so hard because he wanted to meet you more than anything.  You know what?  I have something for you.  I was gonna wait until after cake, but I think you’ve waited long enough.  It’s a gift from you dad.  He just said to give you this when you were both over 16.  I have no idea what it is.  What?  Hold on, your dad was an accountant.  I mean, he got interested in a lot of strange things when he got sick, but… what?  Oh, Will, you wonderful nut.  What is this?  Hold on!  Is this dangerous?  What?  Barley.  I’m sorry you guys don’t have your dad here, but this shows just how much he wanted to see you both.  So much that he’d try anything.  That’s still a pretty special gift.  Hey, wanna come with me to pick up your cake?” — Laurel Lightfoot

“Hey, sweetie?  Ugh!  Blazey.  Oh, this dragon is always under my feet.  Honey, you want some cake?  Oh!  Well, you’ve come to the right tavern.  Table 12.  I have the parchment you desire right here.  Behold!” — Laurel Lightfoot

“Hey.  No, not yet.  But I’m a little worried because we had a weird family issue come up, and, well, this just isn’t like Ian to run off.  I mean, Barley, yes, but not Ian.  I know, it’s silly.  I’m sure they’re both probably on fire.  Fire!  The place is on fire!  My boys!  I gotta go!  Excuse me.  Hello?  Please, I’m looking for two teenage elves.  Oh!  Those are my sons.  Where did they go?  The what?  Hold on, you’re right.  She has gone a little… it’s no wonder with a wound like that.  Oh, I’m sorry, are you an expert on minotaurs?  Manticores?  Well, then you wouldn’t know that when their blood is exposed to air, it makes them go bonkers.  See?  She’s already losing her grip on reality.  So, why don’t you let me save her life before it costs you yours?  Thank you.  Could we have a little privacy here, please?  Just lie back.  That’s good.  But get your head a little bit higher.  All right, how do we help my boys?” — Laurel Lightfoot

The Manticore, Onward, Pixar Animation Studios, Walt Disney Pictures, Disney+, Octavia SpencerThe Manticore (Octavia Spencer)

“Quick!  Somebody help me.  These griffin nuggets were supposed to go out minutes ago.  Whoa!  Sir, you’re right in the hot zone.  You’re late, Adolphus.  I understand there’s traffic.  You need to plan for that.  Well, maybe your mother should get her own car!  Isn’t that fun?  They’re all based on my old maps.  Uh, now… the great Manticore sends you on your adventure with a hero’s blessing.  And here’s some crayons.  Uh, yeah.  It’s, uh, over there.  Whoa, whoa, whoa!  What are you doing?  You can’t take this.  What is that?  No!  My days of sending people on dangerous quests are over.  ‘Cause they’re dangerous.  I’m sorry, but you are not getting this map.  Don’t worry, ladies, your adventure will continue momentarily.  Kid, this is not a good time.  Look, I’m sorry about that.  But if you get hurt on one of my quests, guess who gets sued and loses her tavern?  I can’t take that kind of risk.  Now, if you’ll just excuse me, I have important things to do.  Testing.  ♪ You haunt my dreams ♪ My inbetweens ♪.  No, I am not giving you the map.  That’s it!  I am done talking.  That Manticore didn’t have investors to look out for.  She didn’t have payroll to cover.  She could just fly out the door whenever she wanted and slay a magma beast.  Yeah, in a minute.  Okay, maybe this place isn’t as adventurous as it used to be.  So it isn’t filled with a motley horde willing to risk life and limb for the mere taste of excitement.  But so what?  Whoever said you have to take risks in life to have an adventure?  What have I done?  This place used to be dangerous.  And wild!  I used to be dangerous and wild!  I’m living a lie!  What have I become?  Everybody out!  This tavern is closed for remodeling.  Sorry, the karaoke machine is broken!” — The Manticore

“I told you already, there were two teenage elves.  Oh.  They went on a quest to find a Phoenix Gem.  But don’t worry, don’t worry.  I told them about the map, I told them about the gem, I told them about the curse.  I forgot to tell them about the curse.  Oh, boy.  Your boys are in grave danger!  But I can help!  I know where they’re going!  We can still save them!  Last name ‘Manticore,’ first name ‘The.’  Manticores.  I don’t think that’s true.  Ooh!  I’m gonna like you.” — The Manticore

Officer Colt Bronco, Onward, Pixar Animation Studios, Walt Disney Pictures, Disney+, Mel Rodriguez Officer Colt Bronco

“Barley, Barley, Barley.  Every time the city tries to tear down an old piece of rubble, I gotta drag my rear end out here and deal with you.  Oh, really?  Thank you, hon.  Hey there, birthday boy.  So, ya workin’ hard or hardly workin’?  Ah, she’s right.  You can’t spend all day playing your board game.  I own a vehicle.  Don’t need to run.”

“I’m just checking in.  Did you catch up to the boys yet?  You know, it’s late, you shouldn’t have to be out looking for ’em.  Fire?  Laurel!”

Wilden Lightfoot, Onward, Pixar Animation Studios, Walt Disney Pictures, Disney+, Kyle BornheimerWilden Lightfoot

“Long ago, the world was full of wonder.  It was adventurous… and best of all… there was magic.  Boombastia!  And that magic helped all in need.  But it wasn’t easy to master.  Huh.  And so the world found a simpler way to get by.  Over time… …magic faded away.  But I hope… …there’s a little magic left… in you.”

Elven Cop

“Listen, this one’s gone a little… whoa, hey, hey!  You’re not going anywhere.  We got questions for you.  That’s just a scratch.  Okay.  Just don’t take too long back there, okay?  Hey, you hear me?  I said don’t take too long back there, because…”

New Mushroomton High Teacher

“Okay, class.  Sit down.  We’re starting roll.”

New Mushroomton Kid 1

“All right.  So, what should we do this weekend?  Oh, hey.  Uh, Ian, right?  What?  Are you inviting us to a party?  Oh.  Yeah, we don’t have any plans.  You’ve got something on your face.  Oh, no.  You… just… wait, no.  It’s… no… what?”

New Mushroomton Kid 2

“Move to a cooler town?  Totally.  Um, who’s Guinevere?”

New Mushroomton Kid 3

“Yeah, okay.”

New Mushroomton Kid 4

“Do you know that guy?  Seems like he’s stalking to you.”


“Sorry, dude.  Got to keep them elevated.  Gets the blood flowing to my brain.  Well, if I don’t have good blood flow, I can’t concentrate on my schoolwork.  You don’t want me to do bad in school, do you?  Thanks, bro.”

Burger Shire customer (Wilmer Valderama)

“Hey!  Go Griffins!  You go to Willowdale College?  Lightfoot?  Wilden Lightfoot?  You’re kidding.  I went to college with him.  Yeah.  Boy, I was so sorry to hear that he passed away.  You know, your dad was a great guy.  So confident.  When he came into a room, people noticed.  The man wore the ugliest purple socks every single day.  Hey, that’s exactly what we asked.  But he was just bold.  I always wished I had a little bit of that in me.  Oh, sorry.  Gotta get this guy off to school.  Hey, it was nice meeting you.”

Burger Shire customer kid


Driving Instructor

“First road test.  Any volunteers?  A left here.  Now, take this on-ramp for the freeway.  Must merge into traffic.  Merge into traffic!  Pull over.”

Officer Gore (dispatch)

“Stay on the lookout for a runaway griffin.”

Laurel Lightfoot (recording)

“Will you’re not gonna get that thing working.  I’m gonna watch over from here for when it blows up.  I’ll bet good money you can’t get it to work.  Yep.But you’re doing a good job of making it look like you know what you’re doing.  Did you check if it had batteries?  Of course you didn’t.  So, is it really working?  Will you’re not going to get that thing working.  I’m gonna watch from over here for when it blows up.”

Wilden Lightfoot (recording)

“I think I’ve got it.  Hello?  Hello?  Oh, is that right?  Well, I’m trying to.  I know.  Let’s find out.  Okay.  Bye.  I think I’ve got it.  Hello?  Hello?  Oh, is that right?  Well, I’m trying to.  I know.  Let’s find out.  Okay.  Bye.”

Manticore Mascot

“Dangerous!  Wild!  Dangerous and wild!”

Manticore’s Tavern Customer

“I’ll have the soup of the day.”

Manticore’s Tavern Customer 2

“Ugh.  I’m giving this place a one-star review.”

Manticore’s Tavern Customer 3

“Are you gonna fix the machine or not?”

Manticore’s Tavern Customer 4


Manticore’s Tavern Customer 5

“Get it off, get it off, get it off!”

Manticore’s Tavern Customer 6

“Okay, I think everything’s good here.”

Manticore’s Tavern Waiter

“Would my lord like a cup or cauldron?”

Manticore’s Tavern Waiter 2

“But of course, milord.  Oh, Manticore!  Oh.  You mean Corey?  She’s over there.  Corey, the karaoke machine’s broken again.”

Manticore’s Tavern Waiter 3

“Table 32 said their mozzarella sticks are cold.”

Manticore’s Tavern Party

“♪ Happy happy birthday come join us on a quest ♪ To make your birthday party The very, very best ♪ Hey! ♪”

GPS Narrator

“Manticore’s Tavern ahead on your right.”

Random Wizard

“Flame Infernar!”

Random Wizard 2

“Voltar Thundasir!”

Random Wizard 3

“I call it the light bulb.”

Random Wizard 4

“‘Tis so easy.”

Fitness Cyclops

“All right.  We’re gonna get Warrior 90 fit.  Let me hear you say, ‘I’m a mighty warrior.'”

Officer Spector, Onward, Pixar Animation Studios, Walt Disney Pictures, Disney+, Lena Waithe

Officer Spector (Lena Waithe)

Officer Gore, Onward, Pixar Animation Studios, Walt Disney Pictures, Disney+, Ali Wong

Office Gore (Ali Wong)

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