Modern Family, ABC Studios, ABC Network, 20th Century FOX TV

Contemporary Household

Decorated ABC Network original comedy Modern Family acquiesced three Primetime Emmy nominations this year.

#ModernFamily has been renewed for 9th and 10th seasons.

rottentomatoes: 86%

metacritic: 86

imdb: 8.5

emmys: 22 wins

Modern Family, ABC Studios, ABC Network, 20th Century FOX TV, HuluModern Family, ABC Studios, ABC Network, 20th Century FOX TV, HuluModern Family, ABC Studios, ABC Network, 20th Century FOX TV, HuluModern Family, ABC Studios, ABC Network, 20th Century FOX TV, HuluModern Family, ABC Studios, ABC Network, 20th Century FOX TV, Hulu

Claire Dunphy, Modern Family, ABC Network, 20th Century FOX TV, Hulu, Julie BowenClaire Dunphy

Claire Dunphy is an executive at Pritchett’s Closets & Blinds and the loving mother of three kids in a suburb outside of Los Angeles, California.

Claire Dunphy, Modern Family, ABC Network, 20th Century FOX TV, Hulu, Julie BowenOUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES

2 wins : 2011, 2012

“Look, we’ll all come back.  I love it here, too.  Compared to New Yorkers, I’m laid-back.  Now, come on.  Get upstairs and pack, or else you might miss your flight.  Mwah!  Bye!  Bye, guys!” — Claire Dunphy

Quote1After a great week in New York, I had to get to Raleigh for the Carolina Closet Caucus.  Phil and I have always wanted so we thought we’d make a road trip of it.Quote2 — Claire Dunphy

“Oh, look — that sushi restaurant we never made it to.  Mnh-mnh.  We had a lot of fun, though, didn’t we?  Yeah.  Never got on one of those horse-drawn carriages through the park.  Alex’s allergies.  Family time.  Are you thinking what I’m thinking?  Yes!  That is the first time you’ve ever answered that question right.” — Claire Dunphy

Quote1I’m gonna reverse what I said.  Central Park dog rentals — million-dollar idea.  Yeah, and maybe it’s just the high of being on vacation, but is there a bird more majestic than the American pigeon?  Oh!  I’ve got to get a picture of this paneling for my dad.  Aromatic cedar flakeboard — game a-changed.  Oh, honey.  Oh, right, right.  We should also maybe get some ice for drinks.  Oh.  Hi, sweetie.  I’m coming to you from West Virginia.  What are you girls doing today?  The girls.  Hold on.  I told them we were in West Virginia.  Okay, girls, um, I got to go.Quote2 — Claire Dunphy

“Definitely by Father’s Day.” — Claire Dunphy

Quote1The key to a good lie is keep it simple.Quote2 — Claire Dunphy

“Couldn’t you just say goodbye?!  So, he just sits in jello for four days?  I don’t get how that’s magic.  Phil!  Get it together.  Like your boyfriend, David Blaine, we’re taking how we did this to the grave.” — Claire Dunphy

“The morning we were set to fly back for Father’s day, a storm in the midwest canceled our flight.” — Claire Dunphy

Quote1Let’s just get to the airport, and we will find a flight.  Taxi!  Oh!  That’s the kids pulling up right now. Just act normal.  Oh!  I missed you!  What do you say we find grandpa, huh?  Here we go.  Let’s go.  Are they?  All right, you chatterboxes.  Let’s get this part started, huh?  That was great.  No.  But that’s how you lie.  Go splash some water on your face.  Hi!  How are you?  Hi.  Where are Cam and Lily?  Sounds like you’re ramping up to a story, but I got some stuff going on, so… Cam’s grandma died?  It’s just a coping mechanism.  It’s gonna pass.  His name was Whiskers.  Uh-huh.  Well, that’s just a reflex.  You always take your family’s side.  Remember when you first brought Cam home and I privately said to you, ‘you might want to move on from this one,’ and dad said, ‘I thought you liked men?’  And then when Cam thought he was picking up on us not liking him, you told Cam he was crazy.  Yeah.  Aww.  Says the murderer.Quote2 — Claire Dunphy

“I’m so sorry for your loss.” — Claire Dunphy

Quote1Wow, those sausages smell fantastic!  You all right, dad?  Are furious!  You were in New York this whole time, and you didn’t say anything — what?  Why?Quote2 — Claire Dunphy

“Honey, will you send my dad a picture of that closet before I forget?  Mnh-mnh.  All… right.  Can this just be done now?  No, it’s my fault.  I — I kept the lie going.  Oh, God!  Dad, come on.  We may have ruined your day, yes, but now you’re just spiraling.  I mean, every relationship has its issues, and Gloria adores you!  Take the win!  They were murdered from behind?” — Claire Dunphy

Quote1Hmm.  Well, honey, I think you need to focus on getting a little bit stronger, a little bit healthier and just a little farther.  You got in late last night, huh?  You’re giving it back, and remember, the second that job interferes with your grades, you’re done.  Did you finish your history report?  I went to bed really early last night, and when I woke up this morning, I thought you’d gone for a run.  Well, honey, the important thing is that you are okay.  Now, I’m very sorry, but I’ve got to get to work.  We are bidding a big job against my old nemesis, closets, closets, closets, closets.  I’m back in there.Quote2 — Claire Dunphy

“Part of being the boss is being a bummer.  It was hard at first, but I’ve learned to accept it… mostly.  Margaret, you knew I was in here.  Uh-huh.  Tell the creative team to get their giggles out.  I’ll be ready for them in 10.  But when you’ve been the bummer all day at work, you don’t love having to be the bummer at home, too.  Hi, honey.  Is your brother around?  I need to yell at him.  That angry screeching was the sweet sound of my new home bummer.  I forgot.” — Claire Dunphy

Quote1Wh– oh.  Oh, honey, I’m so sorry, but now that you’re awake, what happened in here, huh?  Oh, she’s a bummer, huh?  No.  No!  No, no, no, no, no.Quote2 — Claire Dunphy

“Doesn’t it?  But first, how about you take a nice, hot shower?  I just hope that big pile of wet towels isn’t on the floor like it was this morning.  Wow.  I can’t wait to hear what you have to say about that lapse in judgment.  I would nip that back talk in the bud.  Alex, wait!  I feel worse.  I really, really knew what I was doing.  Our poor sick daughter.  We should be taking care of her.  Alex had to take the summer off.  I was disappointed ’cause she was disappointed, but I was also kind of happy to have her home a little longer.  Mask!” — Claire Dunphy

Quote1It’s okay, honey.  You’re gonna sell that murder house.   ‘Ahh, get this blood off me!’  What?  Wh– off who?Quote2 — Claire Dunphy

“Hello!  Shouldn’t we wait for Luke’s guidance counselor?  Oh.  But Luke is, right?  Remember when I said I would do most of the talking?  Well, guess you could say you had a ‘sax’ scandal, then.  We weren’t discussing Adderall.  Although, Adderall has helped a lot of kids.  That’s called leadership.  Wow, look at you.  Luke, this is a lot of work.  Are you sure you’re up for it?  Yeah.  Well, I think you should go for it.  I can’t think of a single reason why not.” — Claire Dunphy

Quote1Not much of a card, dad, ’cause I don’t really care.  So, how about the two of you get going, because Luke has a speech to work on?Quote2 — Claire Dunphy

“I will have you know that Luke wrote his own speech.  He contributed.  He was there.” — Claire Dunphy


Phil Dunphy, Modern Family, ABC Network, 20th Century FOX TV, Hulu, TY Burrell

Phil Dunphy


2 wins : 2011, 2014

“I know — it’s killing me.  Tomorrow’s open-mic night at the Apollo.” — Phil Dunphy

“Oh, yeah.  We tried.  They just never had a table for five.  Hm.  Yes, we did.  Didn’t know you could be allergic to carriage leather.  Still, just so much good family time.  You could blow off the convention.  We could stay here for a romantic few days but never tell the kids because we just made them go home?  Not today!” — Phil Dunphy

“I love my sexy little closet nerd.  I’m gonna take a quick tub.  We should check in with the kids from ‘the road.'” — Phil Dunphy

“Luke.  Hold on.  Hey, buddy, I should get going.  There’s a cop walking towards us.  I guess it looks weird with us parked right here on the state border with me up here in Kentucky and your mom in the back seat over in West Virginia.  Okay.  See ya, pal.  Done.” — Phil Dunphy

“Well, why don’t I stop talking about how good it is here and just bring you some? Okay.  Bye-bye.  We need to pick up a wheel of Arizona spicy sheep cheese.  Claire, the sign says ‘No loud noises.’  You’ll scare David Blaine.  You wouldn’t.  Remember how Luke used to call it ‘jeh-woh?’  I hate that I can’t share this with him.  Magic isn’t about secrets and tricking people.” — Phil Dunphy

“Damn it!  It’s already taken.  Taxi!  I was born normal.  Not really.  They said I came out with bangs.  Buddy!  Oh, it was great. Yeah.  We would have been here a lot earlier, but there was a ton of traffic on… A-America.  So, uh, good week?  Same.  Meh.  Neh.  Buh.  Ehh.  Meh.  Really?” — Phil Dunphy

“Best job I ever had.  Raising two dynamite ladies and the… best buddy a guy could ever ask for.  Oh, my God!  Your mother and I — furious!  Oh, yeah, um, Claire asked me to send you a picture of the closet in our New York hotel.  Oh!  No.  We’re liars!  I’m so sorry.” — Phil Dunphy

“The box said these pigs were massaged daily, then killed from behind to keep the panic hormone from tainting the meat.” — Phil Dunphy

“It’s okay, everybody!  I’m alive!  I had a traumatic experience after an open house.  Have a good one.  Oh, no.  Aaaaaaaah.  Monday lunch, Monday dinner.  Tuesday breakfast, Tuesday lunch.  Open house went great.  Lost of interested buyers.  Fun fact — some stranger, probably a long time ago, wrote their last will and testament right here on your wall.  Trust me on this.  Did nobody notice I was gone for 18 hours?  Why aren’t you all making posters?  Alex?  I can’t believe this!” — Phil Dunphy

“Honey.  I’m sorry.” — Phil Dunphy

“Flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety — my imprisonment in the closet resulted in all the symptoms of PTSD.  My insurance company helped me to find a therapy dog and agreed to cover everything, and then they found out I wasn’t in the military.  Oh, boy.  Hey, Alex, honey, could you help me reset the router?!  Oh!  No.  Bad luck!  Bad luck!!  Not again!  Haley, thank God.  Could you reset the router for me?  I’m fine.  I think I’m just hyperventilating.  Should pass in like 20 minutes or s-so.  Alex, honey.  Good girl.  Alex, maybe you’d feel better if we went for a walk or a ride in the car, huh?  Go for a ride in the car!  No!” — Phil Dunphy

“Alex, are you sure you don’t want to spend a few more days here to recover?  You can sleep on the end of our bed if you want to.  There you go.  Honey, you’re getting upset again.  Come on, let’s go get a treat.  That’s ridiculi– am I?  Well… what about what Luke’s doing?  Alex, no.  Stop!  Stay!  How do you ask a human not to go, again?  Right.  I feel so bad.  I had no idea what I was doing.” — Phil Dunphy

“I’m so glad you like the house!  Hey, so a few things — one, all the appliances are included, two, the previous residents were murdered there, and three, it just passed mold inspection.  So, when should we — uh-huh.  Yeah.  I get it.  Well, we’ll — we’ll just keep looking.  Al thought it does give the house character.  If those walls could talk.  I agree.  It’s not funny.  Bye-bye.  Thanks. You mean Barb and Thad Wall?  Are they in trouble?” — Phil Dunphy

“Not to sound like a total Katen, but Haley’s new job seems whack.  If Haley wants to work in promotion, she should learn from my guy — Mr. Merv Schechter.  Among his brilliant innovations — the indoor blimp that drops coupons on basketball games.  Sadly, it was later weaponized  by several terrorist organizations.” — Phil Dunphy

Jay Pritchett, Modern Family, ABC Network, 20th Century FOX TV, Hulu, Ed O'NeillJay Pritchett


3 nominations : 2011, 2012, 2013

“Hey, I don’t mind.  Don’t be silly.  I got this.  Shoo, shoo.  Go.” — Jay Pritchett

“When I think of the last few Father’s Days, I quake with rage.  Hey, maybe put a little thought into it.  Maybe we don’t order the pizza.  And if we do, maybe we get enough crazy bread for everybody.  I’m sorry, but who made Father’s Day the dirty stepchild of holidays?!  We don’t even have a song.” — Jay Pritchett

“What?  That’s my boy!  Let’s see.  What do we got in here?  Hey.  An ice bucket.  And what’s in the ice bucket?  A hair dryer.  Thanks, buddy.” — Jay Pritchett

“Gloria!  Sonia.  I’m sorry.  Come in.  No, you came from so far away.  The Mexican cookies.  I never thought I’d see those again.  Let me help you with those.  Okay.  Help your aunt.  Go ahead.  You have to talk to her.  I really think she’s here to apologize.” — Jay Pritchett

“Why are you so calm?  Shouldn’t we follow them or call the police?  Good!  Then she owes us 400 bucks.  We get the kid back.  My holiday!” — Jay Pritchett

“Gloria, we can’t sit around doing nothing.  Call Sonia.  Tell her to bring Manny and those cookies to a neutral place,  and we’ll make the exchange.  She has your son!  Why does she want your sauce business, anyway?  Guys, we have a party going on.  Let’s take it over here.  Now, Gloria, you have admitted yourself that you have a history of stealing things from this one here.  Hold on.  Are you saying that all this is about some weird competition over your father?  Don’t love that.  Okay.” — Jay Pritchett

“Yeah, I guess I could say a few words.  I appreciate you guys honoring me on this great holiday.  But I’m not the only dad here.  You three lucked out a little bit in that department, right?  Yeah!  Now, I don’t know what can of worms this is, but I know this is my day, and I want you to calm down.  Is that a phone in your pocket?  That’s my phone.  I’ve been looking for this since yesterday.  Phil, did you text me?  Oh, my God!  Is this you naked?!” — Jay Pritchett

“I’ll tell you what else we’re glossing over — how bad you all are at Father’s Day.  I’ve got one son who’s a kleptomaniac, the other who’s in love with his own aunt — creepy even by your standards — and a daughter who I was forced to see naked as the day she was born.  Right on cue.  Happy Father’s Day to me.  Icing on the cake — I just found out my own wife has major daddy issues.  Makes me wonder if that’s the whole reason she’s with me.  You think?  All right!” — Jay Pritchett

“You each have a sausage on your plate I selected based on your individual personality and temperament.  Now take a bite of bread, a sip of water to cleanse the palate.  Show of hands.  Who heard me say ‘smell your sausage?’  The three things I want you to pay attention to are bouquet, texture, and finish.  You may begin.  We’re done here.” — Jay Pritchett

“Is Mowgli that dirt kid at his preschool whose parents drive the car that runs on French fry oil?  First time I saw ‘Tarzan,’ I wanted to live outside.  Dad said fine.  I walked in the woods, met a hobo.  Taught me how to open a can with a bird’s beak.  Are you really still doing this?  I’m gonna take a coffee to the guy putting up the security cameras.  Six months ago, we took you to the dermatologist for taking too many bubble baths.  Brought you this.  Take your time.  Important thing is… oh, no.  Guess what.  A black family’s moving in right across the street the same day my security cameras are going up.  Well, what am I supposed to do?  I made the appointment weeks ago right after the break-in down the street.  But they’ll think I made the call the minute I saw them because I’m a racist old man.” — Jay Pritchett

“Gloria, Gloria, Gloria.  You’ll never understand the stereotypes old white men face.” — Jay Pritchett

“Please don’t the remote again.  You’re not even trying.  First of all, Stella’s not peeing in the corner, because I housebroke her myself.  Second of all, no dog of mine should ever have to work.  There he is.  There’s my old pal.  Listen, it’s such a nice day.  Let’s go outside.  Nah.  It’s all pool and chairs.  So, how you been, buddy?  You know what might help?  You pop that hat off, you get a little sun on your face.  Yeah, life, huh?  Here, give me a hug.  There you go.  Damn it!  I’m putting security cameras the same day they move in.  Come here.” — Jay Pritchett

“It’s like one of those videos where the pit bull swim with the baby chick.  You just know something bad’s gonna happen.  Where are your keys?  I need the jumper cables.  I spent the last hour in my car, listening to the Commodores with my windows down, and the neighbors didn’t even come outside.  My Asian granddaughter takes a hip-hop class?  Why are we not talking about this in the front yard?” — Jay Pritchett

“Let me ask you guys something.  If, someday, Lily wanted to be Lou and had the whole chop-chop, bin- bang, thing, how would you be with that?  So you wouldn’t even need the minute that Tom’s parents did?  Well, that’s interesting, because the minute it took me to accept the fact that my son was living a different kind of life than the one that I anticipated, Mitchell called me an old, straight, white bigot.  And now you’re just like me.  I guess what this proves is, there’s a little bit of prejudice in everyone — you, me, the neighbor across the street judging me for my cameras.  I’m gonna do what I should have done at the beginning — talk to them.  Watch me!” — Jay Pritchett

“Excuse me.  I don’t mean to bug you.  Hello.  You’re just moving in.  I’m right across the street.  Yeah?  All right.  Listen, you guys need anything, let me know.  Jay Pritchett.  It’s okay, Gloria.  All handled.  This is my wife, Gloria.  This is Shawn — and I want to get this right, beautiful African name — Shawn M’badawe.  Ah.” — Jay Pritchett

“I’ve got these mew state-of-the-art cameras.  I thought I’d review the day, see how many times our neighbor glared at us.  Wait a second.  Is that Manny licking cupcake wrappers from the trash?  I knew he’d fold.  Ah, the vigor.  It’s almost pornographic.  Yeah.  That’s the garbage area.  Then we got the backyard, front door.  Go inside,  Wait.  That’s Joe peeing in the corner, not Stella.  Hold on.  You have a problem.  I’m gonna get you one of those rubber remotes they put in nursing schools an insane asylums.” — Jay Pritchett

“I’ve heard enough, and I’ve made my decision.  Manny will be president this term, and we’ll run Luke next year.  I don’t like to play this  card, but I am the patriarch, and I have spoken.  You want to go up against the Pritchett political machine?  So be it.  Bye, kiddo!” — Jay Pritchett

Gloria Delgado-Pritchett, Modern Family, ABC Network, 20th Century FOX TV, Hulu, Sofia VergaraGloria Delgado-Pritchett, Modern Family, ABC Network, 20th Century FOX TV, Hulu, Sofia VergaraGloria Delgado-Pritchett

Gloria Delgado-Pritchett, Modern Family, ABC Network, 20th Century FOX TV, Hulu, Sofia VergaraOUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES

4 nominations : 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013

Quote1Ay, Jay, I was going to cook the sausage.  Who’s here so early?  Sonia, what are you doing here?  Okay, got it.  Why did you let her in?  You don’t know her like I do.  Great, Jay.  Now she kidnapped Manny.Quote2 — Gloria Delgado-Pritchett

“No, it’s just a kidnapping.  It’s normal in my family.  Ransom call.  ¿Sí?  She wants my hot-sauce business in exchange for Manny.  No deal.  I’ll handle it.  My sister, my problem.” — Gloria Delgado-Pritchett

Quote1Why would I make an exchange?  We have all the leverage.  What is she gonna do?  Raise Manny?  Don’t worry.  He’s going to be fine.  Well, maybe she has a reason to think that it should be partly hers.  Sonia didn’t care about the recipe.  She was very lazy.  So I gently talked her out of it.  And then I changed my mind, and I did her dream.  What is she so mad about?Quote2 — Gloria Delgado-Pritchett

“Manny’s here.  How dare you take my son.  Oh, here we go, Sonia’s perfect, and Gloria can’t do anything right!  You sound just like my father!  Oh, my God.  I guess so.  Just in that one area.  But I shouldn’t treat you badly because Papá chose you.  When you lose a love like that at such a young age,  you spend the rest of your life trying to replace it.  Listen, if you want the hot-sauce business, take it — it’s yours.  I want to give you something that is very precious to me.  It’s something that I should have given you a long time ago this is gonna keep you close to Papá forever.” — Gloria Delgado-Pritchett

Quote1Mine smells spicy.Quote2 — Gloria Delgado-Pritchett

“No, señor, we’re not having that argument anymore.  No.  It’s that dirty kid that runs around the ‘The Jungle Book.’  Jay, tell him he can’t.  That story’s not helping!  No!  Jay!” — Gloria Delgado-Pritchett

Quote1Why would the neighbors just assume that you’re a racist?Quote2 — Gloria Delgado-Pritchett

“Input.  Input!  Oh, I was just, like, trying to get a signal.  Don’t blame me about breaking the other ones.  One got stepped on, and the other one fell down the garbage disposal.  Anyways, stop worrying about the remote control and worry about your own dog.  She’s peeing in the corner.  Maybe if you ever leave her outside, she will guard us, and we wouldn’t need cameras.” — Gloria Delgado-Pritchett

Quote1Input!  I know you can hear me because I can see your green light!  What happened?  That must be your good friends the Harlem Globetrotters.  He’s trying to get a Communist girl to kiss him.  Oh, I am sure that the parents have gone through a lot, too.  That’s not a good idea.  Joe, you’re not going to live outside!Quote2 — Gloria Delgado-Pritchett

“Jay, what are you doing?  Come to bed.  Are these cameras everywhere?  That’s it.  He lives outside now.  Come.  We’ll watch him from the cameras.  Thank you.” — Gloria Delgado-Pritchett

Quote1That’s the spirit.Quote2 — Gloria Delgado-Pritchett



Mitchell Pritchett, Modern Family, ABC Network, 20th Century FOX TV, Hulu, Jesse Tyler FergusonMitchell Pritchett

5 nominations : 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014

“Oh!  Cam, it is so beautiful outside.  You got to — ohhhh… right.” — Mitchell Pritchett

“We decided to spend the summer in Missouri.  But we arrived to find Cam’s grandma on her deathbed.  Right where we left her at Thanksgiving.” — Mitchell Pritchett

“I’m sorry — I didn’t realize the vigil had drifted out to the common areas.  Cam, come on.  She’s 95 years old and plugged into a wall.  Maybe it’s time to, you know… no, she doesn’t want me there.  She hates me.  Cam, she refers to me as ‘the sissy.’  What do you even say to someone in a coma?  Okay, yeah, t-teach me that.  Oh, fine.  I’ll think of something.  Sorry.” — Mitchell Pritchett

“Hey, guys.  Hey.  Hi!  Uh, they’re still at the farm.  I got banished.  Okay.  Good to be home.  Okay, so Cam’s grandmother, the one who called me a sissy, she died.  And I  — I was alone with her when it happened, and the family thinks that I nudged it along.  Oh, my God.  You still do that thing where you smile whenever you talk about death.  You’ve been doing it since I was 10 years old and we buried my hamster in the backyard.  Can you be a human being for one second?  Mm-kay?  So, Cam totally took his family’s side when they all turned against me.  Oh, come on.  Where is that written?  I guess I did do that, huh?  God, you and dad are mean.” — Mitchell Pritchett

“Wait — you guys flew in?  Aww!  Okay, those mean the same thing, but okay.  Look, I just want you to know I understand why you took your family’s side.  And I am sorry I put you in that position.  She left me something!  Aww.  Okay, again — oh…” — Mitchell Pritchett

“Why did she call me a sissy?  Oh!  We’re opening grams’ gifts, huh?  Okay.  You opened yours.  ‘When Cam first brought you here, I thought I’d never get used to you.  I was raised to hate your kind.  But seeing how happy you make my grandson, I…couldn’t help but come to care for you.’  Cam.  I was wrong about her.  No, no, wait.  There’s more.  There’s more.  ‘Who else but you should inherit my beloved Oriental fan?  I hope it don’t make you homesick.’  Okay, Cam.  This is Lily’s gift, isn’t it?  Oh!  So you’re the big sissy!  Her lipsticks!” — Mitchell Pritchett

“Come on, Cam. Kiss me like the sissy I am!  Oh, my mine’s pink, t–oh.  Very funny, dad.” — Mitchell Pritchett

“You know, I’m off contact sports right now.  I twisted my ankle playing running charades, but you two should get ready for dance class.  Okay, go.  Go, go, go!  Hi.  No, no, but you know Tom, the friend that Lily’s playing with?  Well, it turns out that Tom used to identify a …Tina.  Well, Tom’s been having some problems at school, and — and Lily has been really respectful of him.  She really is.  She gets all the credit on this one.  This so doesn’t matter.  totally.  We deserve some kudos here, too.  You know, a kudo would be an excellent name for a parenting award.” — Mitchell Pritchett

“Bye, Tom.  Hey, Lily.  Can you hang back a second?  Okay, well, we don’t make fun of people who are different, okay?  Yeah.  Some of your stories would be more impactful with fewer details.  Okay, but — but do you understand why what you did is wrong?  Well — and I say this with love — she did just get back from spending a full summer with your family in Missouri.  I’m — I’m just saying maybe when she gets back from there, she needs to be reminded of our values.  You know — un-hick her.  Well… y– look, I-I love those people, too, but you did just admit they can be a little close-minded down there.  See?  It’s– Okay.” — Mitchell Pritchett

“Hey.  Gloria invited us to sit by the pool till we have to pick up Lily at hip-hop.  We have our own kid problems.  I mean, we had an incident this afternoon during Lily’s playdate with Tom, who used to identify as… Tina.  They had a fight, and Lily said the worst possible thing.  I mean, that poor boy’s been through enough.  Lou.  Mm-hmm.  He.  Well, no, no.  Maybe a minute.  I mean, there’d — there’d be a lot of things that I’d be giving up that I’ve always imagined doing, like — like walking her down the aisle in her wedding dress.  You know?  But that’s our thing — lording our tolerance over others.” — Mitchell Pritchett

“Hey, Lily.  We need to talk.  No.  Sit down, please.  Look, it was wrong for you to be mean to Tom, okay?  Even though daddy and I aren’t always as open-minded as we should be, we — want you to be better than us.  What?  Oh, thank God.  Well, honey, why didn’t you tell us?   Cam, she was protecting us.  But you don’t have to, sweetie, okay?  Don’t feel like you can’t be honest with us just to protect our feelings.” — Mitchell Pritchett

“It was hard to hear, but in the spirit of tolerance, we accepted the fact that a 9-year-old might not want to fall asleep under the watchful eyes of her half-naked fathers.” — Mitchell Pritchett

“Cam? Well, you can tell her in the morning, okay?  Let it go, babe.  Come on.  Come on.  Oh, Cam.  Look what she did.” — Mitchell Pritchett


Cameron Tucker, Modern Family, ABC Network, 20th Century FOX TV, Hulu, Eric StonestreetCameron Tucker


2 wins : 2010, 2012

“Hey, um, I wish you’d be a little more mindful of my family situation.  What?  What are you saying, Mitchell?  That we should pull the plug?  Have you even taken your turn sitting with Gram?  This again.  you heard that wrong.  She’s hard to understand because of the dentures she inherited.  You know they were made from the keys of a child’s piano.  Well, mama’s reading her poetry.  Lily’s reciting scripture.  Pam and I are gonna sign a song we wrote when we were younger, ‘Sweet Home Ala-Gramma.’  Oh, I’m sorry — is she your Ala-gramma?” — Cameron Tucker

“♪ Sweet home Ala-gramma ♪ Eyes and hair of gorgeous blue ♪  No, no no.  I’m glad you’re up here.  We can finish later.  Yeah, yeah.  And, Mitchell, make sure her tongue stays moist.” — Cameron Tucker

“Surprise!  Yeah, I just wanted us to all be together today.  In spite of your thoughtlessness and insensitivity.  Oh, I appreciate that, Mitchell.  Even though you’re stubborn and pigheaded.” — Cameron Tucker

“Oh!  Lily, we were gonna open grams’ gifts together!  Oh!  The note says, oh, that’s so sweet!  She doesn’t — let — you know, we can do this later.  Okay.  Yes.  You were.  Now, let’s put this someplace safe.  Well, you know, she did get very stupid near the end.  Okay, well, gift time seems to be over.  No.  Oh.  I suppose you’re gonna read into this, too.” — Cameron Tucker

“Yes!  Is this blood sausage?  Because mine’s pink.” — Cameron Tucker

“Hi.  Okay, why do you look so satisfied?  Did you just listen to an NPR story that proved you right about something?  Well, I know of him.  We haven’t formally been introduced.  Oh, I wish you wouldn’t have told me.  You know how proud I am of my gender identificadar.  Oh, she is so sweet.  Uh-huh.  We raised her to have an open mind.  There’s enough kudos for everyone.  Oh, thank you, Gwyneth.  Lily, if you’re still watching, go to bed.” — Cameron Tucker

“All right.  Here we are.  Okay.  Don’t forget to give Funkmaster Linda her check  for today’s class.  Bye, Tom.  We just want to know why you called Tom a weirdo back at the house.  You know how hard it was for Daddy and me?  Growing up in Missouri, I was so mistreated that one of my best friends was an old scarecrow I found in the creek.  Well, this bothers me.  They’re getting along great, and then one little spat, and her instinct is to go all baby bigot on him?  Oh.  So we’re blaming my family, then?  Oh, the H -bomb!  Possibly the most offensive slur ever thrown around in the South.  Well, they are a little bit set in their ways.  It was actually illegal to run for mayor without a mustache until 1980.  And then again from ’82 to ’85.” — Cameron Tucker

“Hey!  We brought cupcakes.  Manny, cupcake?  That was a lot.  I don’t totally get the hand thing, but I like it.  Mm.  Sure.  You just don’t get comfortable with something like that overnight. We love Lily.  We love Lou.  And there’s nothing she could do –and there’s nothing he could do that would change that.  Or whispering in her husband’s ear that he’ll never replace me.  Oh, my God, Mitchell.  Are we where Lily gets it?  Are we not as open-minded as we think?” — Cameron Tucker

” No.  Listen.  We accept people for who they are.  Daddy and I would accept you no matter what — boy, girl, gay, straight… though, if you’re a lesbian, please be the fun kind.  Made fun of what?  What’s — what’s to make fun of?  Get hurt?  How?  Because that rube Tom knows nothing about art?  Really.  Hey, you can tell us anything.” — Cameron Tucker

“Call the Sistine Chapel.  I guess art is out.  So, do you hate the whole idea of murals, or just –” — Cameron Tucker

“Oh, I just wanted to tell her how proud I was of how she handled herself today, but she’s already asleep.  Oh, by the way, I found an article online about a family of Montenegrin art restorers –” — Cameron Tucker

“Throw it, baby!  Throw it!  Yes!  Dwight, that’s the way you read the reverse.  Gentlemen, circle up!  We are 3-0. bit of we’re gonna go all the way, we all need to be as mentally and physically tough as Dwight.  Yes?  Uh-huh.  What?  Okay, uh… everybody get some water.  Mm-hmm.  Yeah.” — Cameron Tucker

Joe Pritchett, Modern Family, ABC Network, 20th Century FOX TV, Hulu, Jeremy MaguireFulgencio (Joe) Pritchett

“Daddy?  Got you a present.” — Joe Pritchett

“I saw Manny take shampoos from the hotel.  So I took some things, too.  Then some bigger things.  I like stealing.  It makes my heart go fast.” — Joe Pritchett

“I steal now.” — Joe Pritchett

“I want to live outside.  Mowgli lives outside.  I’m doing it.” — Joe Pritchett

“Fine!” — Joe Pritchett

Manny Delgado, Modern Family, ABC Network, 20th Century FOX TV, Hulu, Rico RodriguezManny Delgado

“He’s taking over because we screwed up the last few Father’s Days.  Hey, Aunt Sonia.  What are you doing?!  Mom, I’m really scare–” — Manny Delgado

“There’s got to be a better way.  My parents will be worried sick.  It’s okay.  I’m actually starting to see your side of this.  Why am I only now noticing how beautiful you are?” — Manny Delgado

“My eyes are but lifeless orbs compared to — hey.  What’s all the — o… kay.  No, thanks.  I already have confusing feelings for one relative.” — Manny Delgado

“Of course not.  Why learn self-reliance when the industrial machine depends on constant consumption?  No eggs for me.  I’ll be having porridge.  Over the summer, I went to a wedding in Juarez and met Frida, this amazing girl who enlightened me to how Communism can rid the world of injustice.  Yeah.  Oh, right, that’s a bad thing.  I live simply now, and it’s good for me.  Might it also help my chance of kissing her one day?  Yes.  And if that requires living in a world where the government chooses all our songs, so be it.” — Manny Delgado

“It’s not coffee the laborers need, Jay.  It’s dignity.  And I’m going to fight for that until my fingers are raw and my back is bent.” — Manny Delgado

“Oh, I see.  Fill my mouth with bourgie opiates so I can’t speak for the people?” — Manny Delgado

Luke Dunphy, Modern Family, ABC Network, 20th Century FOX TV, Hulu, Nolan Gould

Luke Dunphy

“Bye!  What?  You heard mom and dad.  They said no.  No way!  I earned that.  I’m the one who fell off that ride.  We can’t use that money.  It’s for college.  Okay, okay, let’s spend it.” — Luke Dunphy

“Ugh.  Dad.  Who are you talking to?  Hold on.  I told dad I was making us breakfast.  Got it.  I should probably finish packing up the breakfast I’m bringing to the girls at the shopping mall where they’re shopping.  See ya.  That’s how you do that.” — Luke Dunphy

“Got to run outside and paint the mailbox.  Sorry.  It just popped into my head when I saw the Statue of Liberty holding that paintbrush.  You know, what she used to paint freedom in America.” — Luke Dunphy

“I wish dad was here.  He’d love this.  I just feel bad that he’s missing out.  This is our thing.  If it’ll help.” — Luke Dunphy

“Meh.  Meh.  Pbht.  Bleh.  Pbht.  1:00.” — Luke Dunphy

“We sure did.  We stayed in New York for five more days.  And I saw David Blaine in jello, and I’ve been dying to tell you, but they wouldn’t let me!” — Luke Dunphy

“Can I have some ketchup?” — Luke Dunphy

“I got a job at grandpa’s country club.  Put your mask on!  Yeah.  It was payday, and a game of craps broke out in the kitchen.  See this watch?  Enrique’s grandfather’s.  Just got to dot the I’s and cross the T’s… and put in all the other letters.” — Luke Dunphy

“Alex’s laptop had every piece of homework she ever did in high school.  It was the Holy Grail… I think.  Thanks to Alex’s hard work, I don’t know what that is and never will.” — Luke Dunphy

“Alex is never away from her laptop, so I had to steal assignments one at a time.  I’m not proud of stealing, but I’m not unproud of how I’m stealing.  No!” — Luke Dunphy

“Yeah, stay, Alex.  Uh, why is anything anywhere?  Why aren’t our feet at the end of our arms?  Uh… hey, it’s better than what mom’s doing.  She’s just using you to yell at us.  So, is knowing all this enough, or do we have to, like, do something?” — Luke Dunphy

“None taken.  Is that good?  I love chicken pot pie.  Hey, we need a new president.  Why don’t I just do that?  Maybe it’ll be cool.  I do like bossing people around.  I think I’m maturing.  Mom, it’s all I’ve ever wanted since I heard about it a minute ago.” — Luke Dunphy

“I’m graduating.  Bye, grandpa!” — Luke Dunphy

Haley Dunphy, Modern Family, ABC Network, 20th Century FOX TV, Hulu, Sarah HylandHaley Dunphy

“Do we really have to leave?  Bye!  We’ll miss you!  Okay, here’s the deal — we’re staying another night.  Well, we’ll still get home before them,  They’ll never know.  Oh, come on.  Andy and I just broke up.  I’m not ready to go back and face life.  We can use Luke’s carnival settlement money.  We were the ones who really suffered.  We couldn’t turn on lights or make loud noises until your head got small again.” — Haley Dunphy

“I caught the end of that.  He sounded like a scared ghost.  ‘Ohh!  Ohh!’  Oh, my God.  It’s mom.  Hi, mom.  Oh, you know, me and Alex just out shopping.  Who are you talking to?  Mom.  Hold on.  When have you ever made us breakfast?!  Us too.  Drive safely.  Bye.” — Haley Dunphy

“Okay, so, when do you guys think you’re gonna be back?  Oh, okay.  Well, we miss you guys.  But at least it’s still only three more days.  Uh- huh, uh-huh.  Aww.  Love you both.  Bye.  All you had to do is say goodbye.” — Haley Dunphy

“Was it a little risky?  Not as long as the master did the talking.  Oh.  Mm-hmm.  Yeah.” — Haley Dunphy

“Hey!  You will never tell him about this, or we will finish what that unlicensed carnival started, okay?  Okay, so I think I got us on a flight through Denver.  Do you mind the middle seat?” — Haley Dunphy

“Hey.  Now all we have to do is stick the landing.  Don’t blow it by acting weird.  Oh, how was the drive?! Yeah?  Yes.  Yeah, it’s almost 4:00.” — Haley Dunphy

“Eh… oh, what is with this?  No crazy bread this year?  You’re a disgrace.    How did you even — wait a minute.  It is raining in the background.  But it didn’t rain while we were all there.  It only rained in New York yesterday.  Oh, my God!  You stayed in New York without us!  Okay, are we really glossing over the fact that I figured something out?  Yes.” — Haley Dunphy

“How did I spend my summer vacation?  I got over my breakup with Andy.  Too close!  How do nerds even get mono?  Did you all practice by kissing the same pillow?  I got fired.  My plan was to hide it from my parents until I got a new job but with smarty-pants Alex home, I had to be more careful, or she was going to figure it out.  Her being super-sick is coming at a really bad time for me.  I figured you were in your office.” — Haley Dunphy

“Oh, dad, I didn’t know you were home.  I would, but I took a late lunch from work, which I have to get back to work.  Are you okay?  Okay, well, I’m gonna head back.  Wouldn’t want to be consistently late and get fired, right?” — Haley Dunphy

“Uhhhhhh… of course you do!  Was I the kind person who would send her sick sister back to school just to keep her from figuring out I got fired?  Did I use her laptop to get through community college?  Let’s get you back there.  It’s Friday night.  Maybe there’s a party you can listen to.” — Haley Dunphy

“It’s going to be so exciting to get back to all that science stuff again.  You know — beakers, calculators, ray guns.  No, but what — what about all the science stuff?  All the fun.  You know — snapping each other in the butts with your goggle straps.  I will drive you, sweetie.  We’re still leaving.  She’s just catching her breath.  Come on.  Breaks my heart.  I should quit my job and nurse her back to health.” — Haley Dunphy

“All right, girls.  So, I have a couple notes about last night.  Arizona, I was looking at your selfies.  Are your parents mallards?  What’s with all the duckface?  You look like you’re at a bachelorette party in Tampa.  And, Katen, did I see you drinking a water at The Red Room?  Oh, yes, because that’s what we’re promoting — a club where people make good decisions.” — Haley Dunphy

“We fake laughed at ‘sheroic.’  The well is dry.” — Haley Dunphy

Alex Dunphy, Modern Family, ABC Network, 20th Century FOX TV, Hulu, Ariel WinterAlex Dunphy

“Yeah, can’t we just stay a couple more days?  Bye!  Come on, how would we even pay for the hotel?” — Alex Dunphy

“Get dressed.  We’re going out for walk-around breakfast pizza.  Oh!  Shoot!  Forgot my room key.  Let’s wait for him in the lobby.  I need a coffee anyway.  The people next door kept me up all night with their sex noises.  Uh, well, stay calm.  Uh, we’re home, we flew in last night.  Oh.  Come on.  She’s gonna want to talk to Luke.  Mom.  Mom thinks we’re shopping.” — Alex Dunphy

“We miss you guys.  Now we have to paint the mailbox when we get home.” — Alex Dunphy

“Well, he isn’t, and neither are we.  Oh.  This can’t all be carnival-related.  Hey!  Oh, my God.  They’re talking.” — Alex Dunphy

“Well… yes!” — Alex Dunphy

“Oh!  Oh.  Good morn-ing.  Oh.  I got mono.  No one misses two weeks at Caltech and catches up.  What am I gonna do?  Shouldn’t you be at work by now?” — Alex Dunphy

“Of course he’s around.  Why would he leave me in peace to do some work at the kitchen table when he could just barge in and — Luke!  Game down!  This is your senior year, also known as your last year to not  suck.  Dad, you hit ‘place order’ once, and then you wait for the confirmation.  Don’t be sorry!  Be smart!  I’m just so tired and in pain and irritable.  It just makes me so mad at everyone.  Sorry for yelling, mom.  Why were you calling again?  Damn it, mom!  Write it down next time!” — Alex Dunphy

“I’ll tell you what happened here — the same thing that’s been happening all damn day!  Me dealing with animals who don’t care that we are air-conditioning the outside and insist on rotting their brains by watching vapid housewives spit wine on each other.  And you.  Can’t even be bothered to use a plate!  Something funny?  What are you even doing home?  Don’t you cat-sit for your boss on Tuesday nights?  You know what?  There are just too many distraction here.  I don’t care how sick I am.  I have to back to college.” — Alex Dunphy

“Sleeping does sound good.  Aww, you guys are so sweet.  You know what?  Staying here a few more days maybe help me kick this sickness a little faster.  Wait a second.  I thought I already packed my laptop.  Why is it on the hallway table?  Who opened my 12th-grade ‘Grapes of Wrath’ essay?  Oh, my God.  You just want me to stay here so you can steal all of my old homework.  I can’t believe it.  He’s right!  Stop with the petting and — and the walks.  You’re using me as a therapy dog.  We just dealt with him.  And, Haley… you are the only one who really cares about me.  That’s it!  I’m going back to school.  You got fired, didn’t you?  Aww.” — Alex Dunphy

Lily Tucker-Pritchett, Modern Family, ABC Network, 20th Century FOX TV, Hulu, Aubrey Anderson-EmmonsLily Tucker-Pritchett, Modern Family, ABC Network, 20th Century FOX TV, Hulu, Aubrey Anderson-Emmons, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Eric StonestreetLily Tucker-Pritchett

“Lord o’ mercy.” — Lily Tucker-Pritchett

“Nice turnout.  Grams would hate all these people on her property.” — Lily Tucker-Pritchett

“Happy Father’s Day!  Can I get our gifts out of the car?  Grams left us all something in her will — even you.” — Lily Tucker-Pritchett

“I couldn’t wait.  Grams left you a watch.  ‘Your grandpa tore it right off a dead kraut’s wrist.’  And I got these.  ‘Enjoy all my old lipstick, you big sissy.’  I– this must be yours.  She said I was gonna get that fan.  Here.” — Lily Tucker-Pritchett

“Nice play, Tom.  Get out of here, you weirdo!” — Lily Tucker-Pritchett

“I shouldn’t.  Linda says being late is wiggity-wack.  I don’t know. Ffine.  I won’t do it again.  Can I go now?  Yes!” — Lily Tucker-Pritchett

“I was actually just heading out.  O-kay.  I didn’t yell at Tom because he used to be Tina.  I yelled at him ’cause he made fun of… he called you guys weirdos for putting that painting up, so I called him a weirdo.  ‘Cause I didn’t want your feelings to get hurt.  Really?  Okay.  I hate the painting, too.  Roll!” — Lily Tucker-Pritchett

“Not that anyone cares, but for lunch, I had a lozenge.” — Lily Tucker-Pritchett

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