BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury

Bloated Ego

Netflix original animated comedy BoJack Horseman dropped its fifth season September 14, 2018.

#BojackHorseman has not yet been renewed for a sixth season.

rottentomatoes: 92%

metacritic: 59

imdb: 8.5

emmys: 1 nomination




BoJack Horseman, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Will ArnettBoJack Horseman

Washed-up narcissistic 90s sit-com Horsin’ Around actor BoJack Horseman tries to rekindle his glory days to no avail.


BoJack Horseman, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Will Arnett“Well, good morning to you too.  Where?  I’d love hay.” — Bojack Horseman

“It’s good to be here, Charlie.  Sorry I was late.  The traffic– I parked in a handicapped spot.  I hope that’s okay.  I’m sorry, disabled spot.  Is that the proper nomenclature?  No, I don’t think I should drive right now.  I’m incredibly drunk.  Is it just me, or am I nailing this interview?  I kind of feel like I’m nailing it.  Charlie, listen, you know, I know that it’s very hip these days to shit all over Horsin’ Around, but at the time, I can tell you– is it okay to say ‘shit?’  ‘Cause I– I think the show’s actually pretty solid for what it is.  It’s not Ibsen, sure, but look, for a lot of people, life is just one long, hard kick in the urethra, and sometimes when you get home from a long day of getting kicked in the urethra, you just want to watch a show about good, likable people, who love each other, where, you know, no matter what happens, at the end of 30 minutes, everything’s gonna turn out okay.  You know, because in real life– did I already say the thing about the urethra?  That’s a great question, Charlie.  I, uh… uh, I… um…” — Bojack Horseman

“First of all, we’re not roommates.  You are my houseguest.  You sleep on my couch, and you don’t pay rent.  I’ve had tapeworms that were less parasitic.  I don’t even remember whey I let you stay with me in the first place.  You told me they didn’t approve of your ‘alternative lifestyle.’  I thought you were, like, a troubled gay teen or something.  I didn’t realize by ‘alternative lifestyle’ that you meant you were lazy.” — Bojack Horseman

“That’s unfortunate.  I know, and I’m sorry, but I am making great progress.  BoJack Horseman: The BoJack Horseman Story, written by BoJack Horseman.  Chapter one.  Chapter one.  Chapter… one.  Aren’t you an editor at a major publishing house?  I thought I saw someone reading one in the park the other day, but it turned out it was a takeout menu.  That’s actually a lot of pressure.  Ugh, no, thank you.  Look, just give me one more week, and I will give you some pages that’ll knock your ass back to the South Pole.  Yes, one week.  I’m telling you, this book is a top priority for me.” — Bojack Horseman

“Oh, right.  Yeesh.  ‘Neigh way, Hose.’  I improvised that line.  I mean, it was written, but I gave it the old BoJack spin.  Yeah, but do you get it, though?  Because ‘nay’ means no, but it’s also a thing that horses say.  It works on every level.  Ah, you don’t get it.  ♪ Three little orphans one, two, three ♪ Without a home or a family tree ♪ Until this horse said ‘live with me’ ♪ and now we’ve got a new family ♪ we were lost and now we’re found ♪ and we’re ♪ Horsin’ around ♪” — Bojack Horseman

“You’re wearing that to the prom?  Neigh way, Jose.” — Bojack Horseman

“Todd, I weight over 1,200 pounds.  It takes a lot of beer got get me drunk.  Yes.” — Bojack Horseman

“Hey, check out the rug on that guy.  Who does he think he’s fooling?  Turtles don’t have hair.  You know, I am not crazy about the bread here.  Mm.  Why do I keep eating it?  You have my undivided attention.  Were we not seeing other people?” — Bojack Horseman

“Wait.  Shh!  Shut up.  Oh!  God, that’s good comedy.” — Bojack Horseman

“Now, that’s a horse of a different… cruller?” — Bojack Horseman

“What?  Everyone gets a mulligan, and my mulligan was Carey Mulligan.  I’m kidding, jeez.  It was Emily Mortimer.  What is the problem here?  Are you embarrassed of me because I’m a has-been?  Because you know that I’m writing that book that is gonna make everybody love me again.  Well, I already spent my advance, so that’s a first step.  Whoa, what?  I never explicitly said that.  What actions?” — Bojack Horseman

“What?  What?  What?  No, no, wha– no, no, no.  Misunderstanding, officer.  I was running away from my girlfriend whom I don’t respect enough to have a baby with.” — Bojack Horseman

“I’m not afraid of commitment.  I commit to things all the time.  It’s the following through on that commitment that I take issue with.  Oh, Mr. Peanutbutter?  God, I hope he doesn’t see us.  Oh, jeez, here we go.  You know, that gets funnier every time.  We’re actually in the middle of breaking up right now, so if you could just– yeah, that’s right.  Yes, actually, it’s very awkward.  Is that not clear?  Yes, please leave.  Why are you making conversation?  But am I crazy that this is a bad time?  What?  So it’s not because of the thing with the baby?  We haven’t even ordered yet.  Let me see that.  $10 for bread?  I don’t want to live in a society where the premeal bread isn’t free.  Yeah, but I didn’t even eat that much bread.  What did I have?  I must have had– nine– really?  Great, now I’m gonna feel like a fat ass all week.” — Bojack Horseman

“You’ve seen me naked.  Do you think I’m getting chubby?  What was that?  Sorry.  Couldn’t hear you over the sound of my calories not metabolizing.  No, that is definitely not happening.  You think I’m fat.” — Bojack Horseman

“So yeah, technically I was dumped, but the real headline of the evening was, ‘dumb guy eats bread, gets fat, the end.’  Wasn’t there a pizza here a second ago?  God damn it!  Stop the presses.  No, it won’t.  It’ll cheer you up.  I’ll stand in the corner by myself eating cotton candy until I barf  like I did at your last party.  Who told you Princess Carolyn and I broke up?  What?  Oh, everything’s my fault.  Okay, jeez.  But I’m not looking for parking in Silver Lake.  I’ll slow the car down to a crawl, and you can duck and roll.  Hey, up!  Hello?  Uh, okay.  Oh, my God, we just broke up.  Great.  Then, as my agent, do you think I’m getting fat?  What about as my ex-girlfriend?  Wait, wait, so which pile of crap do I look like?  What?  That’s the worst one.  I told you, that’s not what was happening that time.  I was masturbating to what the picture represented.  You walked in at the worst possible moment!  Yes, fine!” — Bojack Horseman

“Hey, you got the electricity back.  Good for you.  Uh, no.  Uh… actually, I am a busy guy.  I live a very active lifestyle.” — Bojack Horseman

“I know kindergarten is scary, but you’re a big girl now, and you have to be brave.  Wait, did you just call me ‘daddy?'” — Bojack Horseman

“Little Sabrina grew up right before our eyes, right, Todd?  Todd?  Todd!  Did Sabrina grow up before our eyes?” — Bojack Horseman

“Diane ‘Nugent?’  Hey, Secretariat.  You know, I always wanted to play Secretariat in a movie.  He’s kind of my personal hero.  Could never get the project off the ground, though.  I mean, there was this one time I came close in the ’90s, but then those Prefontaine movies came out, and people got tired of seeing running on-screen.  She’s cute.” — Bojack Horseman

“Oh, God, I’m a failure.  Why did I say I could write a book?  Relax?  Easy for you to say, you hippie.  You’ve never had a day of stress in your life.  Who?  We were talking about me.  Can you try to focus for, like, a second?  Never should have signed this book deal.  You know what my problem is?  I can’t say no to people because I want everyone to like me.  Yeah, why?  Do people not like me?  I can see the headline now, ‘stupid BoJack writes a stupid book about his stupid life, nobody cares.’  Better question, why are you in my kitchen?  Ugh, I really got to start putting my phone on airplane mode when I drink.  This lady probably thinks I’m just some dumb sitcom actor.  I hate her and her stupid, impossible-to-pronounce last name, Na-goo-ya-go-goo-goo-goo-ga. What party? Why are you so obsessed with throwing a part all of a sudden.  This book is really important to me. It’s too much pressure.  This book is my one shot at preserving my legacy.  I’m a joke, and if this book isn’t good, I’m gonna be a joke forever.  Everyone thinks that I’m just this washed-up hack, but actually– oh, God, actually, what if they’re right?  I can’t breathe.  Am I dying?  Toast.  I smell burning toast!  Todd, on my grave, I want it to say that I was born in 1975.  Damn it, can’t you respect a dying man’s wish?  We might have gone too dark on that series finale.  Linus walked around with a blanket.  No one gave him shit for it.  You have other clients?  Are your other clients more talented than I am?  Your silence speaks volumes.  Jesus, if that’s mild, I don’t want to know what spicy feels like.  Too smart for the room?  It was a salsa joke, people.  I can try, doctor.  I can try.  What, you want me to call this woman on the phone?  And Entertainment Weekly said I wasn’t consistent.  Really, not even a pity laugh?  I did almost die.  You have other patients?  Okay, fine.  We’ll have a party.  But we’re not getting a cotton candy machine.  I can’t control myself around those things.” — Bojack Horseman

“Todd, who was that guy?  Who are all these people?  Is this a quinceañera?  I find that piñata offensive.  Oh, good Lord.  Hey, Mr. Peanutbutter.  Well, I’ve been kind of up and– yeah.  Yes.  Oh, I’m– I’m sorry, I don’t want to mispronounce your name.  Oh, Diane.  Have you tried alcohol?  What guy?  Oh, okay, yeah.  Yeah, well, if you’re gonna throw away most of your adult life on some dumb sitcom, you might as well get a sweet house out of the deal, right?  Well, mostly I just sit around the house and complain about things.  I can’t complain, so you know.  Ugh, you know who that is?  Yeah, he was on that show Mr. Peanutbutter’s House about that dog who adopted the three human kids.  What a dumb idea for a TV show.  He’s so stupid he doesn’t realize how miserable he should be.  I envy that.  Do I know his story?  If I recall correctly, he was bringing up three boys of his own.  They were four men living all together, but they were all alone.  That is profoundly sad.  That’s not all that was beneath him.  Gay joke.  Sorry, I’m better than that.  Good Lord, that’s depressing.  I’m responsible for my own happiness?  I can’t even be responsible for my own breakfast.  Todd!  I need help.  Well, finishing my memoir, I guess.  Yeah?  I mean, would you even want to?  You’d have to spend a lot of time with me.  You’d probably get sick of me.  No?  Okay.  Well, then, I guess you’re hired, but don’t put all that stuff about how sad I am in the book.  Yeah, exactly.  You’re my only ghostwriter starting nah… starting now.  Ugh, this guy.  Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second.  You drank all my beer?  Also, you two are dating?  You’re dating him?  This is your boyfriend?  You are going out with you?  But in a sexual way, not just as friends?  You’ve seen her naked?  You are attracted to this?  This penis has been inside this vagina.  But in a sexual way.  Humph.  I’m just– I’m fine.  I’m just– I’m really happy for you.  No, everything’s– oh, this is really– wonderful.  Oh, God.  Starting now.” — Bojack Horseman

“Well, that was another in a long series of regrettable life choices.” — Bojack Horseman

“I just want my privacy back, so I can finish writing my tell-all memoir, so everyone will pay attention to me again.” — Bojack Horseman

“You know what the problem is with everybody?  They all just want to hear what they already believe.  No one ever wants to hear the truth.  What do you mean?  I do.  What, you think I can’t open up.  Okay, from now on, full truth, warts and all.  You’re not gonna make me look like an asshole, are you?  Okay, full truth, here we go.  You want to know about my parents?  They drank a lot.  My father was a failed novelist.  My mother was the heiress to the Sugarman sugar cubes fortune, and my dad resented her for it.  He used to make me cry with him while listening to Cole Porter records.” — Bojack Horseman

“Hey, you see those people?  Well, those boobs and jerk wads are the best friends you’ll ever have.  Without them, you’re nothing.  Remember that.  Your family will never understand you, your lovers will leave you or try to change you, but your fans, you be good to them, and they’ll be good to you.  The important thing is, you got to give the people what they want, even if it kills you, even if it empties you out until there’s nothing left to empty.  No matter what happens, no matter how much it hurts, you don’t stop dancing, and you don’t stop smiling, and you give those people what they want.” — Bojack Horseman

“Yeah, it’s me, straight off your TV screens and into your shitty lives.” — Bojack Horseman

“People don’t usually want to hang out with me after rehab.  I’m really more of a before-rehab friend.” — Bojack Horseman

“So what you’re saying is, everything is society’s fault, and we as individuals never need to take responsibility for anything?  Yeah, I like that.  I didn’t do anything wrong because I can’t do anything wrong because we’re all just products of our environment, bouncing around like marbles in the game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that is our random and cruel universe.  Yeah, it’s not my fault.  It’s society.  Everything is because of society!  Hooray!  Everything is meaningless!  Nothing I do has consequence!” — Bojack Horseman

“Good grief.  I’m so depressed.  I just want everyone to love me, but I don’t know how to make them do it.  I screwed it all up.  It’s too late for me, isn’t it?  Then tell me it’s not too late.  Yeah, that’s right.” — Bojack Horseman

“You want to know the truth?  Nothing.  No, I’m running from nothing.  I’m terrified of nothing.  People come up to me, they want my autograph, they want my picture.  They think they recognize something in me, and I want to be that person they think I am, but I’m not.  They see greatness in me, and they mistake it for goodness, but I… I know there’s nothing there.  As fast as I run, I can’t get away from that.” — Bojack Horseman

“I don’t know what to do, Charlotte.  I keep making these bad decisions, and hurting people.” — Bojack Horseman

“No one’s happy all the time.  You have to focus on the small things.  Like winning an Oscar.” — Bojack Horseman

“Taneisha, nobody completes anybody.  That’s not a real thing.  If you’re lucky enough to find someone you can halfway tolerate, sink your nails in and don’t let go, no matter what.  Yes, thank you, exactly.  Settle.  Because otherwise you’re just gonna get older, harder, and more alone.  And you’re gonna do everything you can to fill that hole, with friends, and your career, and meaningless sex, but the hole doesn’t get filled.  One day, you’re gonna look around and you’re going to realize that everybody loves you, but nobody likes you.  And that is the loneliest feeling in the world.” — Bojack Horseman

“Yeah, I got royally screwed, know who was there for me?  No one, because everyone’s an asshole and the whole world sucks balls.” — Bojack Horseman

“Life is but an endless series of missed opportunities, some involving Pottery Barn.” — Bojack Horseman

“I came back because I wanted to fix things, but now I don’t know if I can.  I’ve been so lucky to have people in my life who care about me.  I don’t deserve any of them.  I definitely don’t deserve to have a friend as amazing and generous and forgiving and thoughtful as…  Channing Tatum.  I’m only gonna hurt him like I’ve hurt everyone else.  I was a fool to think I could just jump back into a new relationship. Can you go over to Channing Tatum’s house, tell him I won’t be his friend?  I can’t break another heart.  Not today, not Channing.” — Bojack Horseman

“Nice, you don’t want any little BoJacks floating around.  Last thing this world needs is more of this garbage.” — Bojack Horseman

“Back in the 90s, I was in a very famous TV show called Horsin’ Around.  Please hold your applause.” — Bojack Horseman


Diane Nguyen, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Alison Brie

Diane Nguyen

“Hey, BoJack, right?  BoJack Horseman?  It’s Diane.  Thanks for inviting me to your party.  Sorry, I haven’t really been mingling.  I get kind of awkward at parties.  I don’t know.  Parties make me anxious in a real broad sense.  Like, look at that guy.  He’s having fun.  Why haven’t I figured it out?  No, there’s no guy there.  I’m just saying, like, a guy, you know?  I’m probably just overthinking it because I never got the practice because I didn’t get invited to any parties in high school.  What am I talking about?  You don’t care about any of that.  Shut up, Diane.  You’re at a party, compliment the host.  You have a lovely home.  So, what are you working on these days?  Yeah, how’s that working out for you?  Mr. Peanutbutter?  Hey, do you know the story of the dad from The Brady Bunch?  Right, but– no, the story is that the guy who played the dad hated being on The Brady Bunch because he was a real actor, and he considered it beneath him.  Sound familiar?  Most people don’t even get to do The Brady Bunch version of the thing they want to do with their lives.  You’re actually in a really good position now, because you can pretty much do anything you want.  You’re responsible for your own happiness, you know?  No, it’s not.  What would make you happy?  Is that all?  I can help you with that.  I don’t think that’s going to happen.  No, BoJack.  Oh, that doesn’t count.  We weren’t on the clock yet.  You got it.  Yes.  Uh-huh.  Uh-huh.  Yes.  Ugh.  Are you okay?” — Diane Nguyen

“I want to hear the truth.  I don’t know if you want to tell it, though.  Mr. Normal Childhood, Mr. Uneventful Father?  Look, I can write the standard empty-calorie celebrity tell-some, if that’s what you’re looking for, but I thought you might want more than that.  Well, then you’re going to have to open up and give me something real.  Well, I don’t know if you can or not.  You certainly haven’t.  I don’t know, are you an asshole?” — Diane Nguyen

“Oh, I don’t really think about her all that much.  I mean, obviously, I’m a fan of her early work which both satirized and celebrated youth culture’s obsession with sex, but I do wonder as a third-wave feminist if it’s even possible for women to reclaim their sexuality in this deeply entrenched patriarchal society, or if claiming to do so is just a lie we tell ourselves so we can more comfortably cater to the male gaze.  But you know, on the other hand, I worry that conversations like this one often dismiss her as a mere puppet of the industry… …incapable of engaging in these discussions herself… and infantilization, which is itself a product of the deeply misogynistic… …society we live in.  But like I said, I don’t really think about her all that much.” — Diane Nguyen

“I mean, maybe you could have been a better role model when she was young, but also, she never really had a chance.  This is what our celebrity culture does to people.” — Diane Nguyen

“You can’t force love, you blockhead.  All you can do is be good to the people in your life, and keep your heart open.  I don’t know.  I’m just a crazy drug hallucination.  I’ll say whatever you want.  Well, it’s not too late.  It’s never too late.  It’s never too late to be the person you want to be.  You need to choose the life you want.  That’ll be 5¢ please…” — Diane Nguyen

“Well, that’s the problem with life, right?  Either you know what you want, and you don’t get what you want, or you get what you want, and then you don’t know what you want.” — Diane Nguyen

“Yeah, I know.  I just– when I first moved to L.A… I thought I was gonna be doing really important work.  You know, writing stuff that makes a difference.  But then you kind of fall into one thing and then another…” — Diane Nguyen

“It’s not about being happy.  That’s the thing.  I’m just trying to get through each day.  I can’t keep asking myself, ‘Am I happy?’  It just makes me more miserable.  I don’t know if I believe in it, real lasting happiness.  All those perky, well-adjusted people you see in movies and TV shows?  I don’t think they exist.” — Diane Nguyen

“I don’t hate Cabracadabra.  I just think it objectifies women and contributes to a cheap and damaging culture of sexist commodification that undercuts the exact reason it was started in the first place.  But, you know, everything does that.  Cosmo does that.  Kids’ movies, athletic gear… statues.” — Diane Nguyen

“Let’s get one thing out of the way right now.  If you’re a man, you’re not gonna get it.  Some of you think you get it.  You want to get it.  You listen, nod, and say all the right things when we tell you our stories.  But you still can’t actually know what it feels like to constantly have your guard up.  In parking garages, walking the street, even at work.  I’m tired of trying to help men understand how it feels to be a woman.  Starting now, I’m doing what it takes to put the power in my own hands.  That’s why I own a gun.” — Diane Nguyen

“Mr. Peanutbutter, you know I hate guns, too.  Or thought I did.  Or I still do, mostly.  But being a gun owner finally makes me feel as safe walking down the street as a man gets to feel all the time.  And that’s an incredible feeling I’m not ready to give up yet.” — Diane Nguyen

“Is your bubble of privilege so thick… and what is it with men and not wanting women to feel safe?  This is a gendered issue… ..make no mistake.  You can’t sympathize… yeah.  That’s the danger.  Not the men who commit 90 percent of murders, it’s the crazy hysterical women you gotta worry about!” — Diane Nguyen

“Look, all I’m saying is maybe you shouldn’t blame women for wanting guns.  Maybe you should blame the constant societal messaging that tells us we are safe only as long as the men around us allow us to be.  So if you have a problem with women carrying firearms, you can roll up your sleeves and actually work to create a society where women feel safe and equal, or you can just ban all guns.” — Diane Nguyen

“I thought that was gonna go the other way.  I can’t believe this country hates women more than it loves guns.” — Diane Nguyen


Todd Chavez, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Aaron PaulTodd Chavez

“Morning, sunshine.  Why so gloomy, roomie?  Well, we don’t need to put labels on things.  Because my parents kicked me out and I had nowhere to go, and even though you don’t want anyone to know it… you secretly have a good heart.  That’s on you for making assumptions.  Also, if you’re looking for the Toaster Strudels, I got really high last night and ate them all.  Did you say you’ve had tapeworms?” — Todd Chavez

“Hey, how many times have you watched this episode?  I get it.  Are you drunk?  Ah, yeah, I see.  You’re just bummed out because Princess Carolyn dumped you last night.” — Todd Chavez

“What kind of headline is that?  You’re not fat.  Oh, hey, let’s throw a party.  That’ll cheer you up.  That was a good party.  Hey, didn’t we get a cotton candy machine for that party?  She did.” — Todd Chavez

“What?  Yes!” — Todd Chavez

“Oh, you’re not a failure.  Because you have an amazing story to tell.  Relax.  Ow.  Why?  Oh, where’s Gabriela?  What?  No!  Gabriela, why?  Oh, yeah, sorry.  You were saying?  You want everyone to like you?  Uh… Uh… what are we talking about?  What newspapers are you reading?  You haven’t even met her. give her a chance.  Oh, you should invite her to the party.  Ow, ow, ow!  Because parties are fun?  I don’t want to just hand it off to some stranger.  No one’s gonna believe– you’re not dying.” — Todd Chavez

“Do you just take those DVDs with you everywhere you go?  Ha.  BoJack, let’s have a party, okay?  I’ll organize the whole thing.  You can invite the ghostwriter and have a nice, casual conversation in a fun, pressure-free environment.  Oh, thank God.  I totally hear what you are saying, and I will do my best.” — Todd Chavez

“Oh, you know, just a variety of folks from all walks of life.  Oh, so any party with Mexican teenage girls is a quinceañera?  Now who’s racist?  If you’ll excuse me, I have a Virgin of Guadalupe pendant to present.” — Todd Chavez


Princess Carolyn, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Amy SedarisPrincess Carolyn

“BoJack, we need to talk.  Stop embarrassing me.  That is Lenny Turteltaub.  BoJack, can you please just listen for a second?  I think we should see other people.  BoJack!  You’re not really writing a book.  Look, this has been a lot of fun, but I need to start thinking about my future.  I mean, you don’t even respect me enough to have a baby with me.  You said it with your actions.” — Princess Carolyn

“Oh, look at that baby.  Isn’t he the cutest baby you ever saw?” — Princess Carolyn

“Oh, face it.  You’re afraid of commitment.  Hey, stupid, isn’t that your friend over there?  How are you Mr. Peanutbutter?  Oh, let’s see, it’s the English word– it’s called being polite, BoJack.  Would it kill you to be civil?  This is why we’re breaking up.  It’s because of a lot of things.  Waiter, could we please have the check?  Thank you.  I have wasted so many dinners on you, BoJack Horseman.  I don’t now how you can expect anyone else to love you when you so clearly hate yourself.  Can you take me home, please?” — Princess Carolyn

“You want to know the real reason we’re breaking up?  This is so classic you.  You’re using this bread thing to avoid talking about our relationship.  I’d like to go home now.” — Princess Carolyn

“You never took me home, jerk!  Take me home.  You know what, you can take a last look at this face, because it’s the last time you’re gonna see it.  BoJack.  Yeah, but I’m still your agent.  I pride myself on my ability to separate my professional life from my personal life.  No way.  You are in the prime of your life, never looked better.  You look like a pile of crap ate a second pile of crap and then crapped out a third pile of crap.  The third one.  I’m not calling you as your ex.  I’m calling you as your agent.  Remember your book you’re pretending to write?  Well, Penguin wants an update on your progress.  Does Tuesday work for you, or are you gonna be too busy this week masturbating to old pictures of yourself?  So, Tuesday, though?” — Princess Carolyn

“Hey, why don’t you just let that lady write your book and be done with it?  I’m making breakfast.  We had sex last night, dummy.  If it’s so important, why have you written literally nothing in a year and a half?  Oh, my God, my toast!  How long is that doctor going to take?  I have a meeting with another client at 3:00.  No, I make a living off you sitting on your ass all day.  ♪ That was my intention ♪.  Take it easy, are you kidding?  He doesn’t have a job.  He has no real responsibilities.  He doesn’t do anything but take it easy.  this book deal is obviously stressing you out.  Will you call the ghostwriter already?” — Princess Carolyn

“What do you mean ‘we?’  Princess Carolyn always lands on her feet.” — Princess Carolyn

“Because my life is a mess right now and I compulsively take care of other people when I don’t know how to take care of myself.” — Princess Carolyn


Lenny Turtletaub, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, J.K. SimmonsLenny Turteltaub

“Slow and steady, am I right, ladies?  Ha-cha-cha.” — Lenny Turtletaub


Mr. Peanutbutter, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Paul F. TompkinsMr. Peanutbutter

“Is that BoJack Horseman?  Mr. Peanutbutter and BoJack Horseman in the same room.  What is this, a crossover episode?  You’re being sarcastic, but I think it does actually get funnier every time.  Yeah?  You’re in the middle of it?  So would it be awkward if I joined you right now?  Yeah, this is awkward right now?  Oh, living the dream, P.C., living the dream.  Always a Clydesdale, never a Clyde, eh, BoJack?  You’ll get that one later, man.  Erica, get out of here with that face.” — Mr. Peanutbutter

“BoJack!  can you believe this, the two of us in the same house?  Is this a crossover episode?  No, I’m just kidding around, man.  Living the dream, huh?  Hey, we’ll catch up later, all right?  I want to talk to you.  Erica, how are you looking so beautiful?  I’m furious.” — Mr. Peanutbutter

“No, I will not have sex with you.  This girl wants me to have sex with her.  No, I’m just kidding around.  You’re a good sport.  You people are all right.  Who wants an autograph?  BoJack!  Hey, man, wanted to let you know, you are out of beer.  Oh, I see you’ve met my beautiful girlfriend, Diane Nguyen.  Yeah.  That is correct.  That’s right.  Many times, yes.  Yep.  Oh, yes.  Oh, my God.  Should we get someone, or…” — Mr. Peanutbutter


Pinky Penguin, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Patton OswaltPinky Penguin

“Thanks for meeting me here.  I would have invited you to my office, but the electric company shut off our power.  Just an issue with the bank and a lack of money in it.  Now, as you know, Penguin is very eager to publish your memoirs but you keep missing your deadlines.  Look, we really need a bestseller here at Penguin.  Things are not that great for me, money wise.  Yeah, a publishing house.  When was the last time you saw a book?  We’re living month-to-month here.  We’re kind of counting on your autobiography to save the company, no pressure.  Have you considered working with a ghostwriter?  I’m from Cincinnati.  It– that doesn’t matter.  I’ll call you in a week.” — Pinky Penguin

“Whoo!  You don’t have anything?  This company is in dire straits.  We made a series of very bad investments.  Ever hear of a young adult franchise called the Swamp Monsters of Malibu?  Then why did we spend $20 million on marketing?  It’s okay, Pinky, go to your happy place.  Look, I know you’re a busy guy.  We’re tired of waiting.  We’re hiring you a ghostwriter.  She’s great, and she’s got a thing for horses.  Check this out.  Don’t tell me.  Tell her!  Call her.  That’s a loan, by the way.  We can’t afford to be giving out free books to people, but you can take anything you want from the Swamp Monsters swag box.” — Pinky Penguin


Sabrina, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Kristen SchaalSabrina

“Mondays.  Oh, hey.” — Sabrina

“Can’t I just stay home with you?  Okay, daddy.” — Sabrina

“What– I don’t– what do you mean he’s dead?” — Sabrina


Olivia, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Alison BrieOlivia

“Why, you don’t think it’s cute?” — Olivia


Sarah Lynn, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Kristen Schaal

Sarah Lynn

“Oh, I know.  I know, but I can, so I will.  I’m at a place right now where I never need to grow as a person or rise to an occasion because I can constantly surround myself with sycophants and enablers until I die tragically young.” — Sarah Lynn


Beatrice Horseman, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Wendie MalickBeatrice Horseman


Butterscotch Horseman, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Will ArnettButterscotch Horseman


Pam, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Judy GreerPam (Judy Greer)


Tom Jumbo-Grumbo, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Keith OlbermannTom Jumbo-Grumbo (Keith Olbermann)


Naomi Watts, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Naomi WattsNaomi Watts (Naomi Watts)


Felicity Huffman, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Felicity HuffmanFelicity Huffman (Felicity Huffman)


Amanda Hannity, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Christine BaranskiAmanda Hannity (Christine Baranski)


Irving Jennings, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Amy SchumerIrving Jannings (Amy Schumer)


Charlotte Moore, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Olivia WildeCharlotte Moore (Olivia Wilde)


Daniel Radcliffe, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Daniel RadcliffeDaniel Radcliffe (Daniel Radcliffe)


Herb Kazzaz, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Stanley TucciHerb Kazzaz (Stanley Tucci)


J.D. Salinger, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Alan ArkinJ.D. Salinger (Alan Arkin)


Lead Improv-er, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, John ChoLead Improv-er (John Cho)


Alex, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Joel McHaleAlex (Joel McHale)


Dashawn Manheim, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Jay PharoahDashawn Manheim (Jay Pharoah)


Henry Winkler, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Henry WinklerHenry Winkler (Henry Winkler)


Sir Paul McCartney, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Paul McCartneySir Paul McCartney (Paul McCartney)


Kyle, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Ed HelmsKyle (Ed Helms)


Margo Martindale, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Margo MartindaleCharacter Actress Margo Martindale (Margo Martindale)


Mia McKibbin, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Tatiana MaslanyMia McKibbin (Tatiana Maslany)


Sebastian St. Clair, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Keegan-Michael KeySebastian St. Clair (Keegan-Michael Key)


Wanda Pierce, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Lisa KudrowWanda Pierce (Lisa Kudrow)


Secretariat, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, John KrasinskiSecretariat (John Krasinski)


Hedgehog, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Ricky GervaisHedgehog (Ricky Gervais)


Ana Spanikopita, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Angela BassetAna Spanikopita (Angela Basset)


Copernicus, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Liev SchreiberCopernicus (Liev Schreiber)


Mr. Witherspoon, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Stephen ColbertMr. Witherspoon (Stephen Colbert)


CuddlyWhiskers, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Jeffrey WrightCuddlyWhiskers (Jeffrey Wright)


Greg Kinglear, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Greg KinnearGreg Kinglear (Greg Kinnear)


Jessica Biel, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Jessica BielJessica Biel (Jessica Biel)


Officer Meow-Meow Fuzzyface, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Cedric YarboroughOfficer Meow-Meow Fuzzyface (Cedric Yarbrough)


Skinny Gina, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Constance ZimmerSkinny Gina (Constance Zimmer)


Alex Brosefino, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Dave FrancoAlexi Brosefino (Dave Franco)


Taneisha, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Tessa ThompsonTaneisha (Tessa Thompson)


Captain Peanutbutter, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Weird Al YankovicCaptain Peanutbutter (Weird Al Yankovic)


Wiz Khalifa, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Wiz KhalifaWiz Khalifa (Wiz Khalifa)


Planetarium Narrator, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Neil deGrasse TysonPlenetarium Narrator (Neil deGrasse Tyson)


Vincent D'Onofrio, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Vincent D'OnofrioVincent D’Onofrio (Vincent D’Onofrio)


Woodchuck Coodchuck-Berkowitz, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Andre BraugherWoodchuck Coodchuck-Berkowitz (Andre Braugher)


Paul Giamatti, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Paul GiamattiPaul Giamatti (Paul Giamatti)


Honey Sugarman, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Jane KrakowskiHoney Sugarman (Jane Krakowski)


Joseph Sugarman, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Matthew BroderickJoseph Sugarman (Matthew Broderick)


Crackerjack Sugarman, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Lin-Manuel MirandaCrackerjack Sugarman (Lin-Manuel Miranda)


Tamara, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Gabourey SidibeTamara (Gabourey Sidibe)


Stefani Stilton, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Kimiko GlennStefani Stilton (Kimiko Glenn)


Tilda Madison, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Archie PanjabiTilda Madison (Archie Panjabi)


Zach Braff, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Zach BraffFamous actor Zach Braff (Zach Braff)


Sir Mix a Lot, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Sir Mix a LotSir Mix a Lot (Sir Mix a Lot)


Rutabaga Rabitowitz, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Ben SchwartzRutabaga Rabitowitz (Ben Schwartz)


Ruthie, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Kristen BellRuthie (Kristen Bell)


Flip McVicker, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Rami MalekFlip McVicker (Rami Malek)


Gina Cazador, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Stephanie BeatrizGina Cazador (Stephanie Beatriz)


Dr. Indira, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Issa RaeDr. Indira (Issa Rae)


Laura Linney, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Laura LinneyLaura Linney (Laura Linney)


Yolanda's Mother, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Eva LongoriaYolanda’s Mother (Eva Longoria)


Vance Waggoner, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Bobby CannavaleVance Waggoner (Bobby Cannavale)


Cooper Wallace Jr., BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Bryan Tyree HenryCooper Wallace Jr. (Bryan Tyree Henry)


Cooper Wallace Sr., BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Daveed DiggsCooper Wallace Sr. (Daveed Diggs)


Mary-Beth, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Wanda SykesMary-Beth (Wanda Sykes)


Dr. Allen Hu, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Ken JeongDr. Allen Hu (Ken Jeong)


Sadie, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Jaime PresslySadie (Jaime Pressly)


Ziggy Abler, BoJack Horseman, Netflix, The Tornante Company, Boxer vs. Raptor, ShadowMachine, Debmar-Mercury, Richard LewisZiggy Abler (Richard Lewis)


Mikhaela (Whoopi Goldberg)



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