Thor: Love and Thunder, Disney+, Marvel Studios, Fox Studios Australia, Walt Disney Pictures

Thunder God

Disney+ original film Thor: Love and Thunder dropped on the platform September 8, 2022.

#ThorLoveandThunder has made $760.2M at the international box office.





























rottentomatoes: 68%

metacritic: 57

imdb: 6.9



Thor Odinson, Thor: Love and Thunder, Disney+, Marvel Studios, Fox Studios Australia, Walt Disney Pictures, Chris Hemsworth

Thor Odinson

The God of Thunder quells a deity rebellion and saves Omnipotence City.

“Okay. Come on, Stormbreaker. Back to work. We must hurry, okay? People are dying. See you down there. Hurry up!” — Thor

“Hello, everybody. How are we doing, guys? I said it was going to be, ‘like a relaxing holiday.’ But look at that resplendent skyscape. Three suns of Saturn. What could be more relaxing than that? King Yakan. Well, as they say, ‘better late than not at all.’ Murdered? Not for long. King Yakan, tell them what happened here today. Tell of the time that Thor, and his ragtag, motley crew if misfit desperados, turned the tide of the battle, and etched their names in history. For the odds may be against us, but I’ll tell you this for free… this ends here and now!” — Thor

“Well done, everybody. We can collectively take credit for that because we worked as a team. We used our hears and our minds to defeat the enemy with minimal loss or damage. What a classic Thor adventure! Hurrah!” — Thor

“Giant goats! Oh, look at those! They are wonderful. Korg, look at that. Those things are beautiful. King Yakan, thank you so much. Listen, um, about the temple… I know, but if we were to talk about it, I think it’s important… …to life and material objects… okay, I’ll stop talking. Aw. They are beautiful.” — Thor

“Retrace your steps. Where did you put the remote? Goats didn’t eat the remote. Don’t be ridiculous. Is it working or not? Well, maybe you need to find a charger… hey, hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa! Whew. Korg, you okay? All right. Everybody, just relax. The goats are gonna be fine. If not, we can just use them for meat… …ting people. Meeting people. They’re a great conversation starter. Look at all these gods, murdered. Sif? My friend is in danger. We must go at once. Start the ship, my friends. I admire your commitment to each other. It’s a beautiful thing. Alas, something I’ll never have. You may. I have loved before. It didn’t work out. They either die a grismal death or they dump you with a handwritten letter. I don’t know which is worse, but it’s why I keep everyone at arm’s length. You’ve grown too attached. Damn, I knew this would happen. You must go. I’ll find Sif. You answer the other calls. The galaxy needs its Guardians. Shh. I know it hurts. But it’s better this way. You have to trust me. To ease the pain, why don’t you, uh, take this hip here as a parting farewell gift? Yes, she’s yours. May you make as many memories with her as I have. She’s a temperamental old lass. Will serve you well in a tight pickle. Goodbye, old friend. A human handshake to the Asgardian shake. Into the snake that you cannot trust. And finish with the classic Asgardian high one. Take care of my crew. This is gonna be hard for them. Not her. For what it’s worth, let’s cling to the good memories. We Asgardians say, ‘may you travel with the speed of Odin’s ravens.’ ‘I’ll see you in Valhalla where we shall drink mead and…’ they’re gone.” — Thor

“Stormbreaker! Let’s go get Sif! Falligar, God of the Falligarians. One of the nicest gods you’ll ever meet. Sif, it’s me, Thor. You’re missing an arm. I’m gonna get you home. Oh, I hate to break it to you, but for a warrior to get into Valhalla, you have to die in the battle. You survived. Maybe your arms is in Valhalla. What happened here? Who is this madman?” — Thor

“Take Sif to the infirmary. This is not my fault. I’ve never even seen these things, whatever the hell they are. Who’s the new guy? Mjol… Mjolnir! Mjolnir! It’s me, Thor. Have you seen my hammer? Mjolnir, here, boy. Mjolnir. You’re back! Mjolnir! Excuse me. Hello. That’s my hammer you’ve got there. And that’s my look. Hey! Enough tomfoolery. Why don’t you take off that mask and reveal yourself? Come on. Jane? Whoo! Ha-ha! She’s incredible, isn’t she, Mjolnir? I need you to promise me you’ll always protect her. I love you too, buddy.” — Thor

“Heimdall. And I have to stay up all night and clean all of this up. It’s two plates and two forks! Yeah… it’s a little, uh, hot in… startin’ to feel… it’s claustrophobic with the helmet. How? Yeah, sure. What? Hey. Is that the Necrosword? That’s cool. I’ve only ever read about it in stories. Pain. What is pain but a construct invented by the weak? Okay, that’s very sharp! Don’t touch my things. Yeah, you better run, you coward. Shadow monsters. Disgusting. Cowards must have run away. We’ll find them. Eh, you’re telling me. Eight years, seven months, and six days. I haven’t forgotten the last time I saw you, or didn’t see you, because you left. Ah, no, you left. You did. You wrote me a beautiful handwritten letter. I should know, I was there. I was. Fair point. Hmm. Like, who’s keeping track, right? I suppose we both left and both got left. Now you’re leaving again.” — Thor

“The old ex-girlfriend. Jane Foster. The one that got away. Yeah. Yeah… yeah. Come on. Come to daddy. Come on. Mjolnir. Hey! There you are. Hey. I was just calling you. Asgard! My friends, we must not quarrel. In times like this, we need to unite, come together. I see what’s happening here. You’re afraid. Hmm? Scared. Afraid. Anxious. If we are to find the children, we must first look within ourselves. I’m sorry. Miek, it’s very hard to give a rousing speech with the noise. She’s taking minutes. Oh, precious minutes we don’t have. You want the kids back? I’ll be back in a minute. You can write that down, Miek. Stormbreaker, what are you doing? Didn’t find them. It’s fine. It’ll grow back. Listen. What do we know about this guy? He also wields the Necrosword. How do I know that? Because he almost speared me in the face with it. It’s an ancient weapon that’s been passed through hands since the dawn of time. It has the ability to slay gods, but it slowly corrupts and kills whoever wields it, which means… it’s infecting him. Yes. It must be. Astrid, are you okay? Astrid, your father gave you a very tough Viking name and I intend to honor his wishes. Astrid. Astrid. All right, fine. Axl. Where are you? Your father taught me and I’m gonna teach you. I need you to focus and hold out your hand. Okay, good. Now focus. Close your eyes.” — Thor

“Hey, how’s it going, kids? Yes, right. Not good. Yeah. Yes. Yes, I am, but just not right now. I’m the vision ghost. Look. See? Who can tell? I mean, this is a very, very bad situation. You know, the good news is you’re Asgardians. So, if you die, you’ll end up in Valhalla. Wait, wait. Listen. Okay. It’s all right, children. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. It’s okay. Listen, I’ve got a plan, okay? I’m putting together a really, really good team. We’ve got, um, Uncle Korg, uh, King Valkyrie, um, my ex-girlfriend, Jane, which is a whole other story I won’t bore you with, okay? But it is a top-notch team, and we’re gonna have you home before you know it. Yeah. I know where you are. I’m gonna get you out of here. Get me out of here. You take care, okay? Take care. I’ll see you soon. All right? Axl, get me out of here!” — Thor

“They’re in the Shadow Realm. The heavy atmosphere there has a darkness like no other. It’s as if color fears to tread. It’s unmistakable. ‘Bring the rainbow?’ Is that a catchphrase or something? How many catchphrases have there been? You’re right. We can’t just go marching in there. It could be a trap. We’d be endangering the children. We need reinforcements. We must raise an army. I’m thinking it. Omnipotence City. It’s the home of the most powerful gods in the universe. We could pull together the greatest team ever. We could recruit Ra, Hercules, TÅ«matauenga. Quetzalcoatl, maybe. And Zeus, the oldest and wisest of them all. Yeah, Zeus. I’m not sure if he has a second name. Oh, you never know, Korg. But if they are, we’ll ask them to join our team. Stormbreaker. All right. Calm down. Relax. We can’t exactly go in your tiny, little, flying portal horse, can we? We won’t all fit. Stormbreaker’s awesome too. I love it when she talks shop.” — Thor

“Well, you moved on quick, didn’t you? You’re some piece of work. Oh, hey! Just catching up with an old friend. I’ve been meaning to apologize. Sorta acting a little weird before. I just haven’t really been myself lately. You know, kind of… trying to figure out who I am, and, uh, just felt a little bit lost. And then, all of a sudden, I see you dressed as me and it was kind of… so, how did you guys get together? How did this happen? Ah! Did it? Crazy. Ah. Well, you know what, it looks good on you, it works, so… whew. Just checking. What? We were just talking.” — Thor

“My fellow Asgardians… wish us well, for we shall travel with the speed of Odin’s ravens. We will return with children. Many children. And then we shall feast! Not on the children. We do not do that anymore. Those were dark times. Shameful times. Okay, we should go.” — Thor

“So, you still rollerblading? Oh, yeah. Every weekend. Once you blade, you never fade. Right, Korg? Yeah. No, they are really good. Mine is, uh, ‘this ends here and now.’ took me a long time to perfect it. You’ll get there. You just need to practice. You never forget your first. Yeah. Oh… no, no. Too busy, don’t have time, you know? Just the work and everything. Oh, wow. So cool. Huh? The buildings are cool. Where? Feelings? What, for Jane? No, don’t be ridiculous. Feelings. The last time we had feelings were long time ago. Long, long gone. I think you… right. I don’t know. Know exactly what team we’re on, okay? Um…” — Thor

“It’s initiation only so we’re gonna have to keep a low profile and blend in. Luckily, disguises are my specialty. Greek philosopher? What are those?” — Thor


Jane Foster, Thor: Love and Thunder, Disney+, Marvel Studios, Fox Studios Australia, Walt Disney Pictures, Natalie Portman

Jane Foster

“Good book? I wrote it. I am. Hi. How’s the, uh, Einstein-Rosen Bridge? Yeah. It’s… you need a 3D model. You ever see Event Horizon? Interstellar? That movie explains everything really clearly. Um, all right. The Einstein-Rosen Bridge folds space, so that point A and point B coexist in space and time. Like that. Yeah, but now you understand wormholes. Watch those movies. Okay. It’s going amazing. When people find out, they start acting weird. They’re just different. I don’t need that in my life right now. Anyway, it’s not that serious. Out of, like, how many stages? That we know about. No. I have a few ideas I’m trying. I’ll fight it my way, okay? It’s not a card. There’s no card. It’s a handsome card. Look, Darcy… I will figure this out by myself.”

“Hey. I have to stay up all night to go through this data. Okay? There’s two plates! You okay? Uh… can we talk about this later? Great seeing you. Flew around the world twice. Nothing. Quite a reunion, huh? What’s it been? Like, three, four years? It’s kind of an oversimplification to say that I left. You weren’t there… …actually, hence the note. And if you weren’t there to see me leave, then maybe it was you that left. Uh… not that it matters. No, yeah. He travels through shadows. What’s a Necrosword? Oh, so it infected him.”

“How do you know? Well then, if it’s color we need, let’s bring the rainbow. Yep. Jumped the gun. What are we thinking? What’s Omnipotence City? Did you say Zeus? Like, the Zeus. Zeus-Zeus? Stormbreaker just needs a conduit. Anything that can handle space travel. It has the power to get us there, it just needs something to focus that energy so it’s not so unpredictable. You know, if we had a ship, we could harness it and use Stormbreaker as a power source. Like an engine.”

“Hey. Yeah. It’s a lot for me, too. I swear I heard Mjolnir call to me. And so I cam here to investigate, and its pieces started glowing and swirling, and then… Thor… see you later.”

“Great. You think I really should be coming? I’m not getting any better. What about, you know, kinging and stuff? You packed? Are you packed? Yes! A hand grenade? If you don’t mind keeping the sink thing under wraps?”

“No. No. You? Hey, can I run something by you? So I was thinking, when we get to the bad guy, what about if I had, like, a cool catchphrase? Like, ‘eat this hammer!’ Bang! Or, like, ‘check out my hammer.’ Boom! Like, what about, um… no… I’m workshopping it. Oh, that’s such a good one. Just my first bad guy. So, you got a girlfriend? Cool. Gonna check this place out.”

Korg, Thor: Love and Thunder, Disney+, Marvel Studios, Fox Studios Australia, Walt Disney Pictures, Taika Waititi
Korg, Thor: Love and Thunder, Disney+, Marvel Studios, Fox Studios Australia, Walt Disney Pictures, Taika Waititi

Korg

“Come, come, gather round. And listen to the legend of the Space Viking. AKA the God of Thunder. AKA Thor Odinson. Raised in the way of the warrior, Thor was taught to help win battles, fighting the good fight for those who can’t fight good. He grew and he grew and he grew. He was sensitive, like a smile. And his loving nature did not discriminate. He once loved a swashbuckling Passionista. Another time, he loved a Wolf Woman on a Woman Wolf. But Thor’s one true love was an Earth woman named Jane Fonda. Oh, wait. No. Jane Foster. But sadly, in the battle for love, Thor lost. Ooh. In fact, he lost a lot of people in those days. His mum. His dad. And that guy. And whoever that is. And Heimdall. And his brother. And his brother, again. And again. Poor Thor had to watch his planet explode. And then he said, ‘what have I done?’ It seemed that everything and everyone he loved, he lost. And so he hid his heart behind a big, fleshy bod, so it could never be broken again. But just because he was done loving, didn’t mean he was done fighting. He teamed up with the Guardians of the Galaxy and set off on some classic Thor adventures. He got in shape. Putting in the hard yards. Turning pains into gains, and never skipping leg day. He went from Dad Bod to God Bod. But beneath his God Bod, there was still a Sad Bod just trying to get out. Because all of the bods that Thor had worn over the years couldn’t hide the pain that he was feeling on the inside. So he gave up his search for love, accepting that he was only good for one thing… waiting in quiet contemplation for someone to say, ‘Thor, we need your help to win this battle.'”

“Yes, they are beautiful. They also scream quite a lot. Yeah, bro. All good. And I’ve been told you can summon them with a special whistle that goes something like this… no, that’s not it. No, that’s not it. No, that’s not it. You have a go. No, that’s not it. No, that’s not it. The horror.”

“Alone again. Just me and you. Watch out, you frickin’ crazy axe! So what do we do now, bro? Who or what is that? Oh, no.”

“Let me tell you the legend of Thor and Jane. He was a God of Thunder and she, a woman of science. And although they were from different worlds, somehow, it just made sense. And together they embarked on a journey of love. Thor taught Jane the way of the warrior… and Jane taught Thor the way of the people. And as time passed, their love grew deeper and deeper. And love that deep has a way of becoming magical. Thor set his sights toward a future and all it might hold. But the more he pondered a life with Jane, the more he feared losing that life. And although Jane didn’t want to admit it, she was scared of loss as well. And so, they built walls between them. Thor got busy saving humanity. And Jane got busy doing the same. Real busy. And eventually, the space between them grew and grew until it became too wide to bear. Something had to give. And then, one night, it did give. Jane wrote a note. And Thor read that note. And their legend suddenly became myth. Or so they thought.”

“So that’s the ex-girlfriend, is it? Jodie Foster. The one that got away. That means escaped. Must be hard for you to see your ex-girlfriend and your ex-hammer hangin’ out, and getting on so well. What you up to, bro? Oh, bae, your cape’s on fire. Absolutely freaky monsters. Uh, floating head alert. G N’ R. It’s asshole. Now listen to him! I’m thinking it too. Hmm! Do you think my god will be there, Ninny of the Nonny? Yes. Oh, like an engine.”

“Get rid of all those seats. And you guys, go tie those goats to the front. We leave in 15 minutes.”

“Skate mates for life!”

Gorr the God Butcher, Thor: Love and Thunder, Disney+, Marvel Studios, Fox Studios Australia, Walt Disney Pictures, Christian Bale

Gorr the God Butcher

“Oh, great and mighty Rapu, we pray to you for water and sustenance. I pray to you, not for me, but for my daughter. Rapu. Bringer of Light. I am Gorr, the last of your disciples. We have lost everything, my lord. The land is dry. All life is lost. But our faith in you never wavered and now we await the promise of the eternal reward. Is this why you celebrate? But, my lord, your empire has already ended. There’s no one left to worship you. We have suffered… and we have starved. My daughter died… in your name. You are no god. I renounce you. Funny. It doesn’t feel like a curse. Feels like a promise. So, this is my vow. All gods will die.”

“Then you know this is going to hurt. Ready?”

“That’s a good one. What a neat story! Ah, with all this talk about chopping off heads, I wanna have a go. What’s this? Oh. Aw! This is Octy. Hello, Octy. How are you? You know what Octy loves? Having his head ripped off! What? You liked it a second ago. All right, all right, all right. Octy’s gone. Come on. I’m scared. Aw, look at you. I knew a little girl just like you. And she was brave, and she was smart… and funny and she liked to draw. Let me ask you a question about gods. They’re meant to protect you, right? Well, where are they? Yes. I’m counting on that. That’s why you’re here.”

The Necrosword

“You have suffered. Come to me. You have suffered. Come to me. You have suffered. You have suffered. If it’s revenge you seek. If it’s revenge you seek… …kill all the gods. Go to Eternity. If it’s revenge you seek… summon the Bifrost. Go to Eternity. Kill all the gods. Summon the Bifrost. Go to Eternity. Kill all the gods. Kill all the gods. Kill all the gods.”

“Kill all the gods.”

Valkyrie, Thor: Love and Thunder, Disney+, Marvel Studios, Fox Studios Australia, Walt Disney Pictures, Tessa Thompson

Valkyrie

“Smell like a king, because you’re worthy. Old Spice.”

“Hey! Who’d you piss off now? Welcome back. That guy? You’re gonna love that guy.”

“Miek, we need detailed accounts from all the witnesses. Darryl, get me all the names of the children who have been lost. And she’ll be found. Guys, they’re bleeding. Get them to the infirmary. Now! Darryl!”

“Everyone, please go home. I promise you we’ll have news soon. We shall find them. What are you doing? No! Everyone, out! I’m invoicing you for this. And he creates monsters with them. So basically, we’re up against a cursed, shadow-zombie kidnapper. Awesome. When do we leave? It’s Astrid. Heimdall’s son.”

“She’s only been a Thor for a minute. I mean, saving lives, she’s quite good at it. But the rest of it, she needs work. A lot. Hang on, he moves through shadows and he’s going to the Shadow Realm, it seems like that’s where he’s going to be the most powerful. Mm. Are you thinking what I think you’re thinking? I’m thinking it too. Omnipotence city. No, no, no mate, we are not traveling in Stormbreaker’s janky Bifrost. Look what just happened. What are you talking about? Warsong’s awesome. You need a ship? I’ve got a ship.”

“Essentials only, everyone. That’s essential. Mm-hmm.”

“Hey. You all right? Mm. The sink would say otherwise. You’re a Thor. Of course, you should come. Besides, what else are you gonna do? You’re a Viking now. Means you pretty much have to die in battle, and it needs to be devastatingly painful. Otherwise, you don’t get into Valhalla. That’s my plan. I love being king. I love my people, but it’s all meetings and raven-mail, and meetings that could’ve been raven-mail. I miss fighting. I miss my sisters. Which is why you need to come, ’cause I need one. Okay, we should go. No. It’s a portable speaker. Let’s go. I got you.”

“Who’s so cool? What’s happening here? Am I. uh, sensing feelings? Mm-hmm. Maybe you have feelings. Oh… mate, relax. We’re on the same team. Team Jane.”

“Got us these. Actual disguises. They’re the cloaks of the emotion gods.”

Peter Quill, Thor: Love and Thunder, Disney+, Marvel Studios, Fox Studios Australia, Walt Disney Pictures, Chris Pratt

Peter Quill

“Thor. We need your help to win this battle. Let’s go. Die, Booskan scum! Here it comes.”

“We need to find the damn remote so we can download the distress signal! One of your goats probably ate it! Found the remote! No, it’s not workin’. It’s not charged. Kraglin! You been here this whole time? What did we tell you about jumpin’ into new relationships? Yeah, you can’t get married on every single planet we land on. Finally! All right, here we go. Distress calls. God Butcher? Wait, wait, wait. What was that? Go back. Play that one. I don’t know, maybe we should split up. So many people so save, I mean, look at all of these distress… …calls. Thor. You gonna be okay? Buddy, if I may… after thousands of years of living, you don’t seem to know who the hell you are. I’ve been lost before. But then I found meaning, I found love. And yeah, it got taken from me, and god, that hurts. But that shitty feeling is better than feeling empty. My hope for you is that one day, you will find something to make you feel this shitty. Cool, yeah. We were just leaving… oh, you’re giving me my ship? Thank you. You’re really dragging this out. Remember what I told you. You ever feel lost, just look into the eyes of the people that you love. They’ll tell you exactly who you are. All right. Bye.”

Rocket Racoon, Thor: Love and Thunder, Disney+, Marvel Studios, Fox Studios Australia, Walt Disney Pictures, Bradley Cooper

Rocket Racoon

“Give me those. You’re gonna break ’em. Ah, you got sap all over it. Well, well, look who it is. You said this planet would be a relaxing holiday. An actual holiday!”

“Well, I ain’t digging through their crap. Who could have done something like this?”

Groot, Thor: Love and Thunder, Disney+, Marvel Studios, Fox Studios Australia, Walt Disney Pictures, Vin Diesel

Groot

“I am Groot!”

“I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot.”

Drax the Destroyer, Thor: Love and Thunder, Disney+, Marvel Studios, Fox Studios Australia, Walt Disney Pictures, Dave Bautista

Drax the Destroyer

“Terrible! We’re all about to die.”

“I love them! They should live with us forever!”

“Let’s go.”

Nebula, Thor: Love and Thunder, Disney+, Marvel Studios, Fox Studios Australia, Walt Disney Pictures, Karen Gillan

Nebula

“I’m putting them down. Get out of my way! Hurry up!”

Mantis, Thor: Love and Thunder, Disney+, Marvel Studios, Fox Studios Australia, Walt Disney Pictures, Pom Klementieff

Mantis

“Me too.”

Kraglin

“Oh, hey, guys. Yeah, you said stay with the shop. This is Glenda. We’re married. That I shouldn’t be doing that.”

“I’ll start the ship.”

Female Caller

“Please help us! The God Butcher has found us!”

“He left them hanging as a warning.

“Our greatest champions, now laid to waste.”

Lady Sif

“Thor, where are you? Thor, where are you? We need you here.”

“Odinson? No! Leave me here. I want to die a warrior’s death. On the battlefield. In battle. And then I can claim my place in Valhalla. Oh, shit. I’ve been hunting a madman. I followed him here, but it was a trap. The God Butcher is coming. He seeks the extinction of the gods. Asgard is next.”

Gorr’s daughter

“I’m tired.”

King Yakan

“God of Thunder. You have finally joined our fight. Yes, it’s very nice. As you know, we used to live in a peaceful oasis. But then our gods were murdered. And now our sacred temple has been left unguarded, and Habooska’s hordes took control of its power. It is our most sacred shrine and he desecrates it. Ah! Oh! He’s not going to go into the temple, is he? No. Oh.”

“God of Disaster, we thank you. We feared we would be at war forever without the protection of our gods, but now, peace shall reign. In return for your service, please accept these gifts. As is tradition, the protectors of our world are bestowed with great beasts. I don’t wanna talk about the temple. It’s making me sad. And mad. Don’t forget the goats. Which you accepted, and now must take with you. No backsies.”

Darcy Lewis

“Saw the Hot Cheetos, had to get it. So, how’s, uh… how’s it going? Have you told anyone else besides me? Jane, it’s Stage Four. Four. Oh, you have somewhere else you gotta be right now that’s more important than chemo? You’re trying to get back to the lab, aren’t you? Okay, no, time out. I know you think your lab work is something you have to do, otherwise you’re letting down all of civilization, but you’re not getting what the universe is actually trying to tell you, so let me translate. Slow down. You need your energy to fight this thing. Well, FYI, ‘my way’ does not have to equal ‘alone in a lab.’ Maybe it’s time to play the Space Viking card. Yes, it is. There’s a card. It’s tall, it’s blond, and it’s gorgeous. Jane, are you sure?”

Selvig

“Results are still coming back the same. I’m afraid the chemo has very little effect. I’m so sorry, Jane. If there’s anything I can do, or if you just wanna talk, call me.”

Director

“Cut!”

Stage Odin

“Look at this place. It’s beautiful. Home. Asgard is not a planet, my sons. It is people. It is you! And now, it is time for me to pass on to the spirit realm. I will take my place in the great banqueting hall of Valhalla, the resting place of the gods. Oh, one more thing. You have a sister. And so now, I turn into godly stardust, and say farewell. Oh, look. Do you see? It’s happening. I’m disappearing.”

Stage Thor

“Yes, home, Father. We’re here to take you home. No! Transform! We will never join you, witch! Mjolnir! Bifrost!”

“The people need entertainment. Particularly. I did not hear a, ‘no.’ Yes!”

Stage Loki

“Yes. To planet Asgard. Father! But wait! Brother! An ominous portal hath appeared behind us. Transform! Impossible! Bifrost!”

“Majesty, should we start working on a performance of this entire debacle? Particularly now, in times of crisis. Nor did I. Asgard. Night. We open on some sleeping children.”

Stage Hela

“I am Hela, Goddess of Death. Now, I return to Asgard to stake my claim as the rightful heir to the throne, and no one will stop me! Join me or die! I broke your hammer! Time to die!”

Earth 1

“You can almost feel the power of these magnificent and immovable stones. Okay. Let’s head back to the village where we can drink some real Asgardian mead. Come on.”

Human

“Yeah. Wait. You’re Dr. Jane Foster? Uh… hi. It’s tough. Really tough. No. No. You just ruined your own book. Okay.”

Humans

“Look, it’s Thor! Thor!”

“The children. They’re taking the children!”

“Mommy! Mom!”

“Your Majesty, my daughter has been taken, and I don’t know where she is.”

“Do you know what I think we should do? Start an army!”

“With what? Half our soldiers are dead.”

“Half our soldiers are always dead.”

“Where are the children?”

“Someone needs to tell us what happened. I just don’t understand.”

“You know what? Thus is all our fault. Stop it!”

“Thor. Can you see me? I no longer go by the name Astrid. I’m now known as Axl. He’s a singer from a popular band I heard on Earth. Axl. I said Axl. Axl! I’m not sure. I don’t know how to use my magic eyes yet.”

“Fifteen minutes to departure! Five minutes to departure!”

Children

“Thor! ‘How’s it going?’ Look where we are. We’re in a cage of mind spikes. Are you gonna do something? What will happen to us? Oh, my God. Go away. I’m scared. We all are. Thor! Thor! Save us.”

“Thing about Thor is that he always bounces back. Yeah. Like when Hela stole his hammer, he went and built an axe which was forged in the heart of a dying star. And the same axe was used to cut off Thanos’ head. Thor is on his way. Yeah!”

Jane’s Mother

“Don’t be afraid. Even when I’m gone, honey… you won’t be alone. And whatever happens… never stop fighting. Never stop fighting.”

Young Jane

“Mommy, don’t leave me.”

Rapu

“Ah! What do we have here? Look at it. It’s gobbling up all my fruit. Oh, it’s one of mine. He… he thinks there’s an eternal reward. No. No, sorry. There’s no eternal reward for you, dog! What we’re celebrating is a fresh kill. We just vanquished the holder of the Necrosword… …before he could harm any other gods with that cursed blade. He threatened to end my entire empire. There’ll be more followers to replace you. There always are. And well you should. Suffering for your gods is your only purpose. There’s nothing for you after death. Except death. Now your meaningless life finally does have a purpose. To sacrifice yourself to me. The sword chose you. You are now cursed!”

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