The Big Bang Theory, CBS Network, Warner Bros. TV

Colossal Burst

CBS original comedy The Big Bang Theory premieres S11E5 tomorrow.

#TBBT has been renewed for a 12th season.

rottentomatoes: 82%

metacritic: 57

imdb: 8.3

emmys: 10 wins

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Leonard Hofstadter, The Big Bang Theory, CBS Network, Warner Bros. TV, Johnny GaleckiLeonard Hofstadter, The Big Bang Theory, CBS Network, Warner Bros. TV, Johnny GaleckiLeonard Hofstadter

Experimental physicist Leonard Hofstadter and his nerd friends occupy tenured research positions at Caltech University.

Leonard Hofstadter, The Big Bang Theory, CBS Network, Warner Bros. TV, Johnny GaleckiOUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES

1 nomination: 2011

“Agreed.  What’s your point?  Excuse me.  Uh, one across is ‘Aegean.’  Eight down is ‘Nabokov.’  26 across is ‘MCM.’  14 down is… move your finger… ‘phylum’ which makes 14 across ‘Port-au-Prince’ see, ‘papa doc’s capitol idea,’ that’s ‘port-au-prince.’  Haiti.  Yes.  Um… is this the high-IQ sperm bank?  Thank you.  We’ll be right back.  What, are you kidding?  You’re a semi-pro.  Sheldon, this was your idea.  A little extra money to get fractional T-1 bandwith in the apartment.  I’m sure she’ll still love him.  Well, what do you want to do.  Okay.  I don’t know– I’ve never reneged on a proffer of sperm before.  Okay.  Nice meeting you.” — Leonard Hofstadter

“No.  Not really.  I don’t care.  Two milli… that doesn’t seem right.  Is that why they sent you to boarding school?  New neighbor?  Significant improvement over the old neighbor.  Hi.  We don’t mean to interrupt.  We live across the hall.  Oh, no, uh, we don’t live together.  I mean, we live together, but in separate, heterosexual bedrooms.  Oh.  Leonard.  Sheldon.  Hi.  Well, uh… oh, uh, welcome to the building.  Great.  Well, uh, bye.  Bye.  Should we have invited her for lunch?  We already watched the season two DVDs.  I think we should be good neighbors and invite her over make her feel welcome.  Well… and that was wrong of us.  We need to widen our circle.  Yes, and you’ve never met one of them.  I’m gonna invite her over.  We’ll have a nice meal and… chat.” — Leonard Hofstadter

“You’re very welcome.  I have a board.  If you like boards, this is my board.  What?  Come on.  At least I didn’t have to invent 26 dimensions just to make the math come out.  In what universe?  Here we go.  Just sit somewhere else.  Sheldon, sit!  Well, this is nice.  We don’t have a lot of company over.  Yes, I know, but… yeah, I remember.  I’m sorry.  I said I’m sorry!  Yeah, it’s like regular Boggle, but… in Klingon.  That’s probably enough about us.  So, tell us about you.  I think what Sheldon’s trying to say is that Sagittarius wouldn’t have been our first guess. Well, uh, do you have some sort of a job?  Oh… I love cheesecake.  I don’t eat it– I just think it’s a good idea.  So, it’s based on your life.  Well, if that was a movie, I would go see it.  Well, it sounds wonderful.  Should I say something?  I feel like I should say something.  No, it’s not crazy.  It’s uh… uh… it’s a paradox.  Paradoxes are part of nature.  Think about light.  If you look at Huygens, light is a wave, as confirmed by the double-slit experiments, but then along comes Albert Einstein and discovers that light behaves like particles, too.  Well, I didn’t make it worse.  Our shower works.  No.  No.  It’s right down the hall.  How so?  That’s not true.  Remember at Thanksgiving my grandmother with Alzheimer’s had that episode?  The worst part was watching her carve that turkey.  Excuse me?  Well, I’m not trying to have sex with her.  What makes you think she wouldn’t have sex with me?  I’m a male and she’s a female.  I’m not going to engage in hypotheticals here.  Oh, of course.  That’s not to say that if a carnal relationship were to develop that I wouldn’t participate.  However briefly.  It’s Darth Vader shampoo.  Luke Skywalker’s the conditioner.  See what?  This isn’t a good time.  That’s great.  You guys have to go.  It’s just not a good time.  No.  And she’s not a lady.  She’s just a new neighbor.  Uh-huh.  I’m not anticipating coitus.  Can we please just stop saying ‘coitus?’  Come on, I’ll show you the trick with the shower.  Save it for your blog, Howard.  All right, there it goes.  It sticks.  I’m sorry.  You’re welcome.  Oh, you’re just going to step right… okay, I’ll… the hair products are Sheldon’s.  A favor?  Sure, you can ask me a favor.  I would do a favor for you.  Oh, I’ll probably say yes.  Wow.” — Leonard Hofstadter

“Must we?  She asked me to do her a favor, Sheldon.  Which is?  That’s a biological impossibility.  And you didn’t have to come.  Come on, you know how it is with breakups.  I broke up with Joyce Kim.  To  mend her broken heart.  This situation is much less complicated.  There’s some kind of dispute between Penny and her ex-boyfriend as to who gets custody of the TV.  She just wanted to avoid having a scene with him.  No, Sheldon, there’s not going to be a scene.  There’s two of us and one of him.” — Leonard Hofstadter

“I’ll do the talking.  Uh, hi, I’m Leoanard, this is Sheldon.  Let’s… uh, we’re here to pick up Penny’s TV.  We’re not going to give up just like that.  Excuse me.  If I were to give up on the first little hitch I never would have been able to identify the fingerprints of string theory in the aftermath of the Big Bang.  Come on, we have a combined IQ of 360.  We should be able to figure out how to get into a stupid building.  Just grab the door!  This is it.  I’ll do the talking.  I’m Leonard, this is Sheldon.  Uh… we’re scientists.  Yeah.  I’m sorry.” — Leonard Hofstadter

“Sheldon, I am so sorry I dragged you through this.  And you were right about my motives.  I was hoping to establish a relationship with Penny that might have someday led to sex.  Anyway, I’ve learned my lesson.  She’s out of my league, I’m done with her.  Got my work, one day I’ll win the Nobel Prize and then I’ll die alone.  Thank you, Sheldon.  You’re a good friend.  We’re home.  Well, your ex-boyfriend sends his regards and I think the rest is fairly self-explanatory.  No, it was a valid hypothesis.  Really?  Great.  Thank you.  Our babies will be smart and beautiful.” — Leonard Hofstadter

“Is Thai food cool with you, Penny?  Here we go, pad thai without peanuts.  I’m not sure.  Everyone keep an eye on Howard in case he starts to swell up.  Here we go.  Ask him for a napkin.  I dare you.  I’ll get it.  Oh, hi, Penny.  No.  They’re not going anywhere.  So, you’re coming home from work.  That’s great. How was work?  So you kind of act like a carbohydrate delivery system.  Yes.  So there’s gonna be some furniture delivered?  No problem.  Penny, wait.  Uh… if you don’t have any other plans, do you want to join us for Thai food and a Superman movie marathon?  One. Unless Superman matches her speed and decelerates.  Excuse me, your entire argument is predicated on the assumption that Superman’s flight is a feat of strength.  I have 2,600 comic books in there.  I challenge you to find a single reference to Kryptonian skin cells.” — Leonard Hofstadter

“Okay… but the elevator’s broken, so you’re gonna have to…” oh, you’re just gonna be done?  Okay.  Cool.  Thanks.  I guess we’ll just bring it up ourselves.  Why not?  We don’t need strenght– we’re physicists.  We are the intellectual descendants of Archimedes.  Give me a fulcrum and a lever and I can move the Earth.  It’s just a matter of… I don’t have this.  I don’t have this!  I do not have this!!  Do you have any ideas?  Easy… easy.  Okay.  Now we’ve got an inclined plane.  The force required to lift is reduced by the sine of the angle of the stairs, call it 30 degrees, so, about half.  Exactly half.  Let’s push.  Okay.  See, it’s moving, this is easy.  It’s all in the math.  What?  Oh.  Okay, uh… okay, yeah, no problem.  Just come up here, help me pull and turn.  Men do things for women without expecting sex.  I’m doing this to be a good neighbor.  In any case, there’s no way it could lower the odds.  Almost there.  Almost there.  No, we’re not.  I’m sorry.  No, we’re not!  You okay?  So Penny’s a little messy.  Did it every occur to you that not everyone has the compulsive need to sort, organize and label the entire world around them?  Well, they don’t.  Hard as it may be for you to believe, most people don’t sort their breakfast cereal numerically by fiber content.  Come on, we should go.  What are you doing?  Sheldon, this is not your home.  When the transvestite lived here, you didn’t care how we kept the place.  What were you doing in his closet?  Oh, hey, Penny.  This just arrived, we just brought this up… just now.  No.  No.  Well, we’ll get out of your hair.  It’s a joke.  Yeah, he didn’t tell it right.” — Leonard Hofstadter

“Sheldon?  Sheldon?  Hello?  Sheldon!  Are you insane?  You can’t just break into a woman’s apartment in the middle of the night and clean.  Do you realize that if Penny wakes up, there is no reasonable explanation as to why we’re here.  No, no, you gave me an explanation.  Its reasonableness will be determined by a jury of your peers.  Sheldon, we have to get out of here.  What?  That’s ridiculous!  Fine.  I accept your premise.  Now, please, let’s go.  Oh, what the hell.” — Leonard Hofstadter

“I’m not surprised.”  A well-known folk cure for insomnia is to break in your neighbor’s apartment and clean.  You think?  You’ve convinced me.  Maybe tonight we should sneak in and shampoo her carpet.  Yes.  For God’s sake, Sheldon, do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?  No, I do not have a sarcasm sign.  Penny’s up.  How did she know it was us?  God, this is gonna be bad.  Yes, but only to clean.  I’m very, very sorry.  Oh, yes, we discussed it at length last night.” — Leonard Hofstadter

“You are going to march yourself over there right now and apologize.” — Leonard Hofstadter

“That’s the social protocol.  It’s what you do when you have a friend who’s proud of something they really suck at.” — Leonard Hofstadter

“Feynman was so cool.  When I was a kid, I’d put on some headphones, and crank up one of his lectures and just… jam out to knowledge.” — Leonard Hofstadter

“He was right.  Physics is only dead when we stop being excited about it.” — Leonard Hofstadter


Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory, CBS Network, Warner Bros. TV, Jim ParsonsSheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory, CBS Network, Warner Bros. TV, Jim ParsonsSheldon Cooper

Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory, CBS Network, Warner Bros. TV, Jim ParsonsOUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES

4 wins: 2010, 2011, 2013, 2014

“So if a photon is directed through a plane with two slits in it and either slit is observed, it will not go through both slits.  If it’s unobserved, it will.  However, if it’s observed after it’s left the plane but before it hits the target, it will not have gone through both slits.  There’s no point.  I just think it’s a good idea for a t-shirt.  I think this is the place.  Leonard, I don’t think I can do this.  No.  We are committing genetic fraud.  There’s no guarantee that our sperm is going to generate high-IQ offspring.  Think about that.  I have a sister with the same basic DNA mix who hostesses at Fuddruckers.  I know, and I do yearn for faster downloads.  But there’s some poor woman who’s gonna pin her hopes on my sperm.  What if she winds up with a toddler who doesn’t know if he should use an integral or a differential to solve the area under a curve?  I wouldn’t.  I want to leave.  What’s the protocol for leaving?  Let’s try just walking out.  Bye.” — Sheldon Cooper

“Are you still mad about the sperm bank?  You want to hear an interesting thing about stairs?  If the height of a single step is off by as little as two millimeters, most people will trip.  No, it’s true.  I did a series of experiments when I was 12.  My father broke his clavicle.  No, that was a result of my work with lasers.  Evidently.  200-pound transvestite with a skin condition?  Yes, she is.  Hi.  Hi.  Hi.  Great.  Bye.  No.  We’re gonna start season two of Battlestar Gallactica.  Not with commentary.  We never invited Louie-slash-Louise over.  I have a very wide circle.  I have 212 friends on MySpace.  That’s the beauty of it.  Chat?  We don’t chat.  At least not offline.” — Sheldon Cooper

“Well, today we tried masturbating for money.  Actually, that’s my work.  Yeah.  Well, it’s just some quantum mechanics with a little string theory doodling around the edges.  That part there, that’s just a joke.  It’s a spoof of the Born-Oppenheimer approximation.  Yeah.  If by ‘holy smokes’ you mean a derivative restatement of the kind of stuff you can find scribbled of any men’s room at MIT, sure.  Who hasn’t seen this differential below ‘here I sit, broken-hearted?’  I didn’t invent them.  They’re there.  In all of them– that is the point.  Um… Penny… that’s where I sit.  No… I sit there.  In the winter, that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, and yet not so close as to cause perspiration.  In the summer, it’s directly in the path of a cross-breeze created by opening windows there and there it faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation, nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion.  I could go on, but I think I’ve made my point.  Well… fine.  Ah.  That’s not true– Koothrappali and Wolowitz come over all the time.  Tuesday night we played Klingon Boggle till 1:00 in the morning.  I resent you saying we don’t have company.  That has negative social implications.  Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun’s apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.  Well, that’s interesting.  Leonard can’t process corn.  You’re lactose intolerant.  What’s happening?  It took you four years to get through high school?  You?  No, you’ll only make it worse.  Yes.  Yes.  No?  No.  Well, this is an interesting development.  It has been some time since we’ve had a woman take her clothes off in our apartment.  Point taken.  It has been some time since we’ve had a woman take her clothes off, after which we didn’t want to rip our eyes out.  So what exactly are you trying to accomplish here?  That woman in there is not going to have sex with you.  Oh, good.  Then you won’t be disappointed.  Yes, but not of the same species.  I’m just trying to be a good neighbor.  Do you think this possibility will be helped or hindered when she discovers your Luke Skywalker no-more-tears shampoo?  Leonard has a lady over.  Technically, that would be ‘coitus interruptus.'” — Sheldon Cooper

“I really think we should examine the chain of causality here.  Event A– a beautiful woman stands naked in our shower.  Event B– we drive halfway across town to retrieve a television set from the aforementioned woman’s ex-boyfriend.  Query– on what plane of existence is there even a semi-rational link between these events?  Ah, yes.  Well, that may be the proximal cause of our journey, but we both know it only exists in contradistinction to the higher level distal cause.  You think with your penis.  Oh, right, yes, I could have stayed behind and watch Wolowitz try to hit on Penny in Russian, Arabic, and Farsi.  Why can’t she get her own TV?  no, I don’t… and neither do you.  You did not break up with Joyce Kim.  She defected to North Korea.  So we get to have a scene with him?  Leonard, the two of us can’t even carry a TV.” — Sheldon Cooper

“Hello.  Okay, thanks for your time.  Leonard, the TV’s in the building.  We have been denied access to the building– ergo, we are done.  My apologies.  What’s your plan?  It’s just a privilege to watch your mind at work.  What do you think their combined IQ is?  Good thinking.  I’ll just be the muscle.  From the intercom.  Tell him about our IQ.  Leonard… my mom bought me those pants.  You’re going to have to call her.” — Sheldon Cooper

“It’s okay.  It wasn’t my first pantsing and it won’t be my last.  Well, you got me out of my pants.  Don’t think like that.  You’re not going to die alone.  And you’re certainly not going to win a Nobel Prize.  That was a valid…?  What is happening to you?  You’re not done with her, are you?  Not to mention imaginary.” — Sheldon Cooper

“We can’t have Thai food– we had Indian for lunch.  They’re both curry-based cuisines.  It would be gastronomically redundant.  I can see we’re going to have to spell out everything for this girl.  I don’t know what your odds are in the world as a whole, but as far as the population of this car goes, you’re a veritable mack daddy.” — Sheldon Cooper

“Since it’s not bee season, you can have my epinephrine.  You don’t need chopsticks.  This is Thai food.  Thailand has had the fork since the latter half of the 19th century.  Interestingly, they don’t actually put the fork in the mouth– they use it to put the food on a spoon which then goes into their mouth.  You’re not swelling, Howard.  Hi.  Don’t take it personally, it’s his pathology.  He can’t talk to women.  You’re kidding, right?  One.  You realize that scene was rife with scientific inaccuracy.  No, no.  Let’s assume that they can.  Lois Lane is falling, accelerating at an initial rate of 32 feet per second per second.  Superman swoops down to save her by reaching out two arms of steel.  Miss Lane, who is now traveling at approximately 120 miles an hour, hits them and is immediately sliced into three equal pieces.  In what space, sir?  In what space?  She’s two feet above the ground.  Frankly, if he really loved her, he’d let her hit the pavement.  It’d be more of a merciful death.  Are you listening to yourself?  It is well established that Superman’s flight is a feat of strength.  It is an extension of his ability to leap tall buildings, an ability he derives from exposure to the Earth’s yellow sun.  Oh, a combination of the moon’s solar reflection and the energy-storage capacity of Kryptonian skin cells.  Challenge accepted.  We’re locked out.” — Sheldon Cooper

“I hardly think so.  Well, we don’t have a dolly, or lifting belts or any measurable upper-body strength.  Archimedes would be so proud.  Yes, but they all involve a green lantern and a power ring.  Exactly half.  What’s your formula for the corner? Ah, gravity, thou art a heartless bitch.  You do understand that our efforts here will in no way increase the odds of you having sexual congress with this woman.  Those would be men who just had sex.  Almost there.  Watch your fingers.  Watch your fingers.  Yeah.  Oh, God, my fingers!  No, her… great Caesar’s ghost, look at this place.  A little messy?  A Mandelbrot set of complex numbers is a little messy.  This is chaos.  Excuse me.  Explain to me an organizational system where a tray of flatware on a couch is valid.  Now, I’m just inferring that this is a couch because the evidence suggests the coffee table is having a tiny garbage sale.  No.  Excuse me, but I think we’ve both found that helpful at times.  Hang on.  I’m straightening up.  No, this is not anyone’s home.  This is a swirling vortex of entropy.  Because it was immaculate.  I mean, you opened that man’s closet, it was left to right evening gowns, cocktail dresses, then his police uniforms.  I helped him run some cable for a web cam.  ‘No?’  No.  Penny… I just want you to know that you don’t have to live like this.  I’m here for you.” — Sheldon Cooper

“Shh, shh, shh.  Penny’s sleeping.  I had no choice.  I couldn’t sleep knowing that just outside my bedroom was our living room, and just outside our living room was that hallway, and immediately adjacent to the hallway was… this.  I just gave you a reasonable explanation.  Don’t be ridiculous.  I have no peers.  You might want to speak in a lower register.  Evolution has made women sensitive to high-pitched noises while they sleep so that they’ll be roused by a crying baby.  If you want to avoid waking her, speak in a lower register.  No.  ‘That’s ridiculous.’  I’m not leaving until I’m done.  If you have time to lean, you have time to clean.” — Sheldon Cooper

“Morning. I have to say I slept splendidly.  Granted, not long, but just deeply and well.  Sarcasm?  Granted, my methods may have been somewhat unorthodox, but I think the end result will be a measurable enhancement to Penny’s quality of life.  You don’t think that crosses a line?  You have a sarcasm sign?  I feel so good today, I’m gonna choose from the low-fiber end of the shelf.  Hello, honey puffs.  I may have left a suggested organizational schematic for her bedroom closet.  Good-bye, honey puffs.  Hello, big bran. Really more to organize.  You’re not actually dirty, per se.  Oh, yes, we discussed it at length last night.  And snoring.  And that’s probably just a sinus infection.  But it could be sleep apnea.  You might want to see an otolaryngologist.  A throat doctor.  Depending on the depth, that’s either a… proctologist or a general surgeon.” — Sheldon Cooper

“I have a master’s and two Ph.D.s, I should not have to do this.” — Sheldon Cooper

“I don’t guess.  As a scientist, I reach conclusions based on observation and experimentation… although as I’m saying this, it occurs to me you may have been employing a rhetorical device rendering my response moot.” — Sheldon Cooper

“When you understand the laws of physics, Penny, anything is possible.” — Sheldon Cooper

“Ladies and gentlemen, honored daughters, while Mr. Kim, by virtue of his youth and naivete, has fallen pray to the inexplicable need for human contact, let me step in and assure you that my research will go uninterrupted, and that social relationships will continue to baffle and repulse me.  Thank you.” — Sheldon Cooper

“A little physics?  There’s no such thing.  Physics encompasses the entire universe, from quantum particles to supernovas, from spinning electrons to spinning galaxies.” — Sheldon Cooper

“What is physics?  Physics comes from the ancient Greek work ‘physika.’  It’s at this point that you’ll want to start taking notes.  ‘Physika’ means the science of natural things.  And it is there, in ancient Greece, that our story begins.  Hush.  If you have questions, raise your hand.  It’s a warm summer evening, circa 600 BC.  You’ve finished your shopping at the local market, or agora… …and you look up at the night sky.  There you notice some of the stars seem to move, so you name them ‘planetes,’ or ‘wanderer.’  Yes, Penny?  This is the beginning of a 2,600-year journey we’re going to take together from the ancient Greeks through Isaac Newton to Niels Bohr to Erwin Schrodinger to the Dutch researchers that Leonard is currently ripping off.  Yeah, give or take.  As I was saying, it’s a warm summer evening in ancient Greece… yes, Penny?  Can’t you hold it?” — Sheldon Cooper

“As the saying goes ‘those who can’t do, teach.'” — Sheldon Cooper


Penny, The Big Bang Theory, CBS Network, Warner Bros. TV, Kaley CuocoPenny, The Big Bang Theory, CBS Network, Warner Bros. TV, Kaley CuocoPenny

Penny, The Big Bang Theory, CBS Network, Warner Bros. TV, Kaley Cuoco“Oh, hi.  Hi?  Oh, that’s nice.  Oh.  Okay, well, guess I’m your new neighbor.  Penny.  Hi.  Hi.  Oh, thank you.  Maybe we can have coffee sometime.  Great.  Bye.” — Penny

“So what do you guys do for fun around here?  Okay.  Thank you.  This looks like some serious stuff.  Leonard, did you do this?  Wow.  So you’re like one of those Beautiful Mind genius guys.  This is really impressive.  Holy smokes.  Um… do you guys mind if I start?  So, sit next to me.  What’s the difference?  Do you want me to move?  So… Klingon Boggle?  Um… me?  Okay.  I’m a Sagittarius, which probably tells you way more than you need to know.  Participate in the what?  Oh, yeah.  A lot of people think I’m a water sign.  Okay, let’s see, what else.  Oh, I’m a vegetarian.  Except for fish.  And the occasional steak.  I love steak!  Oh, yeah.  I’m a waitress at The Cheesecake Factory.  Oh.  Anyways, I’m also writing a screenplay.  It’s about this sensitive girl who comes to L.A. from Lincoln, Nebraska, to be an actress and winds up a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory.  No, I’m from Omaha.  I know, right?  Okay, let’s see, what else… um… guess that’s about it.  That’s the story of Penny.  It was.  Until I fell in love with a jerk!  God, you know, four years I lived with him.  Four years– that’s like as long as high school.  It just… I can’t believe I trusted him.  You want to know the most pathetic part?  Even though I hate his lying, cheating guts… I still love him.  Is that crazy?  I’m so sorry.  I’m such a mess.  On top of everything else, I’m all gross from moving and my stupid shower doesn’t work.  Really?  Would it be totally weird if I used it?  Thanks.  You guys are really sweet.  Hey, is there a trick to getting it to switch from tub to shower…?  Oh, hi.  Sorry.  Hello.  Penny.  I work at The Cheesecake Factory.  I’m… I’m sorry?  Okay, thanks.  Hey, Leonard… okay.  Um, can I ask you a favor?  It’s okay if you say no.  It’s just not the kind of thing you ask a guy you just met.” — Penny

“So, you guys work with Leonard and Sheldon at the university?  Um, I’m sorry.  Do you speak English?  Really?  Why?  Wow, cool tiger.  Sounds interesting.  Oh, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop thinking about it.  Oh, my God, what happened?  I’m so sorry.  I really thought if you guys went instead of me he wouldn’t be such an ass.  Really… thank you so much for going and trying.  You’re so terrific.  Really.  Why don’t you get some clothes on, I’ll get my purse, and dinner is on me, okay?” — Penny

“Sure.  So?  So?  Any ideas, Raj?  That sounds like fun.” — Penny

“Hey, Leonard.  Am I interrupting?  Sounds like you have company.  Well, you know, it’s a Cheesecake Factory.  People order cheesecale and I bring it to them.  Yeah.  Call it whatever you want, I get minimum wage.  Yeah.  Um, anyways, I was wondering if you could help me out with something.  I’ve kinda had… oh.  Okay, great.  I’m having some furniture delivered tomorrow and I may not be here, so… oh.  H-hello.  I’m sorry?  No, I haven’t.  Yeah.  I probably won’t.  Hey, Sheldon.  Hey, Raj.  Still not talk to me, huh?  Yeah, yeah.  if it gets here and I’m not here tomorrow could you just sign for it and have them put it in my apartment?  Great.  Here’s my spare key.  Thank you.  Yeah?  A marathon?  Wow.  How many Superman movies are there?  I do like the one where Lois Lane falls from the helicopter and Superman swooshes down and catches her.  Which one was that?  Yes, I know, men can’t fly.  I’m just gonna go wash up.” — Penny

“Hey, guys.  Great.  Was it hard getting it up the stairs?  Okay, great.  Thank you again.  What’s he talking about?  I don’t get it.  Son of a bitch!  You sick geeky bastards!  Leonard!  You came into my apartment last night while I was sleeping?!  Give me back my key.  do you understand how creepy this is?  In my apartment, while I was sleeping?!  And what kind of doctor removes shoes from asses?” — Penny


Howard Wolowitz, The Big Bang Theory, CBS Network, Warner Bros. TV, Simon HelbergHoward Wolowitz

“Wait till you see this.  It’s a Stephen Hawking lecture from MIT in 1974.  It’s before he became a creepy computer voice.  Why?  Yeah, right– your grandmother back in town?  Hang on, there really is a lady here?  And you want us out because you’re anticipating coitus?  So she’s available for coitus?  Enchanté, mademoiselle.  Howard Wolowitz Caltech derparment of applied physics.  You may be familiar with some of my work.  It’s currently orbiting Jupiter’s largest moon taking high-resolution digital photographs.  Bonne douche.  It’s French for ‘good shower.’  It’s a sentiment I can express in six languages.” — Howard Wolowitz

“Oh, he speaks English.  He just can’t speak to women.  He’s kind of a nerd.  Juice box?  This is one of my favorite places to kick back after a quest.  They have a great house ale.  Yeah, I’ve had him since level ten.  His name is Buttons.  Anyway, if you had your own game character we could hang out, maybe go on a quest.  So you’ll think about it?” — Howard Wolowitz

“Uh, turn left on Lake Street and head up to Colorado.  I know a wonderful little sushi bar that has karaoke.  ♫ Baby, baby, don’t get hooked on me ♫ Oh, baby, baby, don’t get hooked on me… ♫” — Howard Wolowitz

“But does it have peanut oil?  Do I look puffy?  I feel puffy.  No, no, look at my fingers.  They’re like Vienna sausages.  Haven’t you ever been told how beautiful you are in flawless Russian?  Get used to it.  He can’t talk to attractive women.  Or in your case, a cheesecake-scented goddess.  One.  And you don’t have a problem with that?  How does he fly at night?” — Howard Wolowitz

Raj Koothrappali, The Big Bang Theory, CBS Network, Warner Bros. TV, Kunal NayyarRajesh Koothrappali

“It’s fantastic, unbelievable.” — Rajesh Kothrappali

“Smooth.” — Rajesh Kothrappali

“Are there any chopsticks?” — Rajesh Kothrappali

“Also, the pretty girl left.” — Rajesh Kothrappali

Beverly Hofstadter, The Big Bang Theory, CBS Network, Warner Bros. TV, Christine Baranski

Beverly Hofstadter


4 nominations: 2009, 2010, 2015, 2016

Arthur Jeffries, The Big Bang Theory, CBS Network, Warner Bros. TV, Bob Newhart

Arthur Jeffries


1 win: 2013

Amy Farrah Fowler, The Big Bang Theory, CBS Network, Warner Bros. TV, Mayim Bialik

Amy Farrah Fowler


4 nominations: 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015

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