Tag Archives: Lucy Davis

Dark Arts

Netflix original drama Chilling Adventures of Sabrina dropped October 26, 2018.

#CAOS has been renewed for a second season.

rottentomatoes: 90%

metacritic: 74

imdb: 7.9

***SPOILERS AHEAD***



Sabrina Spellman, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Netflix, Berlanti Productions, Archie Comics, Warner Bros. Television, Kiernan ShipkaSabrina Spellman

Half-breed witch-human Sabrina Spellman navigates diametrically opposing cultural convictions outside of Greendale, United States.

Sabrina Spellman, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Netflix, Berlanti Productions, Archie Comics, Warner Bros. Television, Kiernan Shipka“In the town of Greendale, where it always feels like Halloween, there lived a girl who is half-witch, half-mortal, who, on her 16th birthday, would have to choose between two worlds: the witch world of her family, and the human world of her friends.  My name is Sabrina Spellman, and that girl is me.” — Sabrina Spellman

“I was confused by the zombies.  I mean, why were they so freakin’ slow?  Fast-moving zombies is a relatively new concept in horror.  Earlier incarnations assumed that reanimated corpses were afflicted by rigor mortis, and, as such, moved slowly.” — Sabrina Spellman

“Mrs. Wardwell.  Hi.  Ms. Wardwell, we have a tradition of going to the movies and then to Dr. Cerberus’s to dissect whatever we just saw.  Do you want to join us?  Invite Ms. Wardwell?  I feel bad for her, living in that house… all alone.” — Sabrina Spellman

“Devil’s advocate, can’t it be both?  I think Harvey may have had his eyes closed during that part.  Aww!” — Sabrina Spellman

“No!  You seem very scared.  Harvey Kinkle, the only person you’re gonna scare is yourself!  Harvey.  I’m glad you didn’t.  I love it.  And you.  Good night, Harvey.” — Sabrina Spellman

“Absit omen.” — Sabrina Spellman

“Good morning, aunties.  Ambrose.  Now that you mention it, Aunt Zee, I did wake up once or twice.  It’s an exciting time… in more ways than one.  Speaking of the dead, a bat flew into my room last night.  Smashed through one of my windows.  Okay if I bury it in the garden?  Oh, wait, what’s this?  About that, Aunt Zee.  Instead of picking a familiar out of a book, which is so, I don’t know, dehumanizing– but I’ve been practicing a summoning spell I found in the Demonomicon, and… what if I put it out there that I’m looking for a familiar, and see if anyone wants to volunteer?  I have, as a matter of fact.  Edwina Diana.  Edwina, which is almost Edward, to honor my father, and Diana, to honor my mother.  And not just to honor them… to be closer to them.  To have them with me as I walk the Path of Night.  Me too, Auntie.” — Sabrina Spellman

“Just… …some people might say that a bat crashing through a window is a bad omen.  I also found a tow-headed frog in my shoe yesterday.  And I am.  But I’m also a little– not yet.  I’m waiting for the right time.  You wouldn’t understand, Ambrose, you were born a full witch.  You didn’t have to say goodbye to half your life, your friends, your boyfriend.  I know.  And I want all those things.  I do.  It’s just… it’s dumb.  You’re only supposed to start missing things after you say goodbye to them, right?” — Sabrina Spellman

“Spirits of the forest, I pronounce my intentions to thee.  Come forth and seek me, and equal we will be.  Not master and servant, but familiar to familiar, to share our knowledge, our spirit, and our traits.  And now, spirits, we will wait.  Prudence, Dorcas, Agatha.  That’s the plan.  And who, exactly, are you calling a half-breed?  What did you say?  I’m not gonna be baited or bullied by you, not in the woods and not at the academy.  What are you doing?  A curse?  You’re cursing me?  Succubitches.” — Sabrina Spellman

“Stepped in some poison ivy, Roz.  Gotta wash it off me.  If truly I am cursed today, let water wash the hex away.  If truly I am cursed today, let water wash the hex away.  Susie?  Susie.  What’s going on?  What happened?  What?  Who did?” — Sabrina Spellman

“It was four of them.  Four troglodyte football players.  They pulled up her shirt, they pulled up her shirt, Principal Hawthorne, because they wanted to see if she had breasts.  To see if she was really a boy or girl under there.  Susie wouldn’t tell me.  But I can guess.  Or you can bring in all the football players for questioning.  I don’t care for that term.  But Susie doesn’t feel safe here, in your school.  She is living in a constant state of fear.” — Sabrina Spellman

“Some jerks were picking on Susie, being cruel to her, Harvey.  Calling her a freak, pawing at her.  Susie won’t tell me their names, but can you ask around?  I’ll do the same.  We have to do something, Harvey, this can’t keep happening.  That there’s no way to protect Susie?  Is that what everyone’s telling me?  Ms. Wardwell?” — Sabrina Spellman

“Yeah, it’s this, uh… this town, this school, there’s a culture of– I just wish Hawthorne would just– Hawthorne’s a bully…. and I wish someone would teach him a lesson.  How would that help Susie?  The problem is, Hawthorne doesn’t take sabbaticals or days off, even.  Principal Hawthorne is?” — Sabrina Spellman

“A graven image.  The football players are a symptom, but the disease goes much deeper, into the bedrock of this school.  So, that’s where we fight it, with a club.  For young women.  To meet and bolster each other.  Where we can discuss issues and problems we’re facing and come up with proactive solutions.  Exactly.  To mobilize and protest if we need to get political, to fight when we need to fight, to defend each other.  So Susie never feels alone, so none of us do.  I may have a plan for getting this through without the interference of Hawthorne, I just need to do it fast.  As soon as possible.  But definitely by Friday.  Yes, but remember, we’re not making a big deal about that this year.  But I have plans with my aunts. Years-in-the-making plans.  It’s a super-secret Spellman family tradition that I’m not supposed to talk about, so let’s just focus on our club.  What should we call it?” — Sabrina Spellman

“Harvey, that sounds like a dream.  But… this thing, it’s… it’s kind of an obligation.  Only that it’s important… to my aunts… and to me.  It’s not so much about my birthday.  It’s… it’s more about what comes after.  I’m moving, Harvey.  I’m leaving Baxter High and going to a boarding school in Connecticut.  My aunts are dropping me off… this Friday night.  I’m talking about this amazing opportunity that I… I can’t say no to.  I didn’t want to freak you guys out.  No, of course not.  Um, it’s, uh… sorry, I’m blanking.  It’s on the tip of my brain.  What?” — Sabrina Spellman

“No, of course I know that.  I… Harvey… it might be easier if I showed you.  Listen.  I love that sound.  The wind blowing through tree branches.  I think that’s my favorite sound in the whole world.  This place.  It’s where I was born, Harvey.  Not in Greendale General.  Here.  In this grove of trees.  Almost 16 years ago.  It’s also where I’ll be reborn this Friday night.  On my 16th birthday, at the stroke of midnight, under an eclipsing blood moon.  The ceremony’s called a dark baptism, but it’s not as bad as it sounds.  It’s kind of like when we went to Shoshanna Feldman’s bat mitzvah.  Or Guadalupe Lopez’s quinceañera.  I’m leaving my… girlhood behind.  Harvey, do you remember… at the beginning of the school year, what Miss Wardwell told us about Ye Olde Greendale?  How there were witch trials like in Salem, but no one ever talked about them or wrote about them?  There are no gravestones, no monuments?  That’s because the witches didn’t want anyone to know.  So the coven could keep living in Greendale, privately, undisturbed, through the centuries.  So that we could.  Half-witch.  On my father’s side.  I’m saying that witches are real, Harvey.  And my father was one.  A warlock.  And that after this weekend, after my baptism, after I sign my name in the Dark Lord’s book, I’ll have to leave Baxter High and go to the Academy of Unseen Arts… …and renounce any and all meaningful connections to mortals.  There are so many delicious things about being a witch, but the one really bad thing is saying goodbye to you and to Roz and Susie.  No, Harvey, no.  I’m saying this because on Monday morning, I don’t want to suddenly be gone from your life and you not know why or blame yourself.  I know it’s a lot to take in.  So, forget I said anything.  Harvey, listen to my voice, hear my words, and forget I said anything.  Bless your mind, bless your heart, let these painful thoughts depart.  Harvey?  The woods.  We were walking home and decided to try a different path.  Then we got lost for a minute… but now we’re okay.  I was telling you how I have plans with my aunts this Halloween.” — Sabrina Spellman

“Hey.  I was telling Harvey that I was leaving Baxter High to– yes, but then, I didn’t want to lie to him, Ambrose, so… I told him I was a witch.  But it was too wrenching… so I took it back.  In every way.  This whole situation, it’s… it’s impossible.  I love Harvey.  I don’t want to say bye to him.  Or my friends.  I wish I could just bring them with me.  That’s okay.  I’ll get through it.  I’ll get through it.  But one thing you can do is help me with a spell later.  To deal with my principal.  So I can set up a club at school before my baptism.  To protect Susie.  And all the girls.  If I can’t stay with them, at least I can do this one thing.  Midnight-ish.” — Sabrina Spellman

“Oh, Aunt Hilda, the weird sisters are horrible.  Everyone who goes to the academy is snobby and horrible and racist.  Don’t worry, I washed it off me.  I tried summoning one.  Aunties?  The weird sisters said something… about mom and dad.  Their accident.  They were almost implying that it wasn’t an accident.” — Sabrina Spellman

“Mom?  Dad?  Wait!  Mom?  Dad?  Are you coming?  To my baptism?  I’ve taken your names, I hope that’s all right.  I’ve taken your names, I hope that’s all right.” — Sabrina Spellman

“These are desperate times, Ambrose.  Now remember, I don’t want to kill Principal Hawthorne, I just need to give him a good scare.  Ms. Wardwell told me he’s terrified of spiders.  Nope.  I just need him to take a day or two off from school.  Spider, O spider, pray, do you not see?  Here comes a big, buzzing, blundering bee.  He’ll spoil your fine net while you fume and you fret, but no mercy you grant, and no mercy you’ll get.” — Sabrina Spellman

“Oh, no.  What now?  Who– who are you?  Aw!  Such a pretty kitty.  What’s your name?  Salem doesn’t serve me, Aunt Zee.  We’re in a partnership.  He’ll protect me, I’ll protect him.  I didn’t.  He named himself Salem.  So, I’m in the middle of getting this club started at school.  Women protecting women.  You know, sort of like a coven.  Anyway, I was wondering if we could maybe, possibly postpone my baptism a little bit.  It’s not, Aunt Hilda.  there’s also the Harvey of it all.  We very recently took things to the next level.  Not that it’s anyone’s business, but no.  However, not that you bring it up, I admit, I have reservations about saving myself for the Dark Lord.  Why does he get to decide what I do with my body?  Okay, but why?  And if you don’t know, maybe I can talk to someone before my baptism, someone who can help me understand these things so I can make an educated choice.  It’s my name, Aunt Zelda.  I think so, I just don’t know why I have to give up everything in my life that’s human to do it.  But not both.  And yet, my father, a warlock, married my mother, and she was human.  Which begs the question, why would I want to join an organization that would do that to anyone I cared about?  Yes.  Of course.” — Sabrina Spellman

“I know.  I just… need to be sure.  What’s a malum malus?  What do you do with it?  Yes, I’m interested.  Groovy.” — Sabrina Spellman

“Hi, Mrs. Meeks.  Rosalind and I were wondering, is Principal Hawthorne in yet?  Shoot.  Rosalind and I have a club proposal we were hoping to get approved today.  Yes!  Susie!  Come on!  We need help!  For all of us.  Fifty-three percent of Baxter High is female, Susie.  The school needs a club like this.  Mm-hmm!  Mm-hmm!  Mm-hmm!  Mm-hmm!” — Sabrina Spellman

“I hope that’s okay, Ms. Wardwell.  It’ll help.  At least on this one front.  If I can be honest with you… … there is a possibility of me going to a different school, a private school, but I’m not 100 percent sure it’s something I want.  One of the best.  And, complicating matters, my dad went to this school.  Harvey’s a part of it, sure, but it’s everything.  All my life is in Greendale.  It’s proving difficult to untangle myself from that.  I’d love that, Ms. Wardwell, but I have plans after school.  I’m going apple picking.” — Sabrina Spellman

“No, Harvey.  I think they’re covered.  Nothing’s ever easy, is it?  Hickery Pickery, Hickery Pickery, where shall this girl go?  She’ll go east, she’ll go west, she’ll go to the crow’s nest.  Hickery Pickery, Hickery Pickery.  Salem.  Oh, my God.  Well done.  Good boy.  Who– who went that?  Was it the weird sisters?  Okay, well, can you help me get through the maze?  To the tree?  How will I know, Salem, which apple is the… the malum malusMalum… should I be baptized?  Um… a stray.  I’m taking him home.” — Sabrina Spellman

“Salem?  Aunties?  Ambrose?  Can we please have a family meeting?  I’ve made a decision about my baptism.  Sorry, do I know you?  Uh…” — Sabrina Spellman

“I do… but I’m not sure where to begin.  About that.  If I sign my name in the Book of the Beast, does that mean I’m giving the Dark Lord dominion over my soul?  Let’s say I do sign my name in his book.  Doesn’t that mean he can call on me?  To do his bidding?  I’m not an evil person, Father.  But the Devil… … he is the embodiment of evil.  What about Hell?  I don’t want to go there when I die.” — Sabrina Spellman

“I’ve had worse done to me.  Besides, there are a lot of people facing their fears right now, fighting battles they know they’re not gonna win.  So, if this is mine, well, then let’s get it over with.  But no tricks, no plea bargains.” — Sabrina Spellman

“What’s the point of being a witch if I can’t help the ones I love?” — Sabrina Spellman

“I wanted to check on you.  And apologize again, Harvey.  For all the secrets, for Tommy.  For everything.  I truly am sorry.” — Sabrina Spellman

“I don’t… I don’t think that’s such a good idea.  I don’t know if it’s safe… for me to be around you.  Or Roz.  Or Susie.  I had to do something tonight… that scares me.  Harvey… it touched something… dark inside me.  I love you too much to risk anything bad happening to you.” — Sabrina Spellman


Hilda Spellman, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Netflix, Berlanti Productions, Archie Comics, Warner Bros. Television, Lucy DavisHilda Spellman

“Rabbit’s feet, under your pillow tonight, you’ll sleep like the dead.  You can bury it in the pet cemetery by the sundial.  There’s room there.  This is actually milk and eggs and rosemary and agrimony, and a cupful of vanilla and a pinch of John the Conqueror root and… tannis.  Uh, and other herbs from my garden.  Drink up, darling.  I think that’s a charming idea.  I wasn’t gonna cry.  And… I just wish your mom and dad were here to see this, to see you.  They would be so proud of you.  They would be so proud of the young woman you’ve become.” — Hilda Spellman

“Spellman Sister Mortuary, how may I assist you?  Oh, no.  A young man has just been stabbed.  His mother and father are coming to see us.  Poor, poor dears.  We didn’t get that far, Zelda.  Their son was just stabbed to death.  It’s– it’s very funny.  Mr. and Mrs. Kemper, we’re so sorry for your loss.  My sister and I will do everything to make it as painless as possible.” — Hilda Spellman

“Why would they curse you for no reason?  Well, we’re gonna check that for sure.  Break an egg, please, miss.  Better safe than sorry.  Oh.  I was right.  That is a blood curse.  Oh, it’s lingering.  So, untreated, that is gonna eat slowly away at your health, your will, and your sanity.  So, a regimen of salt water baths, reversing candles for a couple of weeks, and that will do the trick, I think.  All right, off you go.  Yeah.” — Hilda Spellman

“Drink up, darling.  I put a bit of cinnamon in it this time.  At least you have your familiar now.  And you’re purifying yourself.  Yeah, you’re almost ready for your baptism.  Oh, dear.  If it’s just about a club, dear– oh, wow.  Zelda, calm down.  Your blood pressure.  Sabrina, do you want to join the Church of Night as a full member?  Yeah, they– they did, lamb.  Many times.  Rosalind came up with it.”

“Well, it will.  Then we can color it in.  Mmm?  Oh, that doesn’t bleed.  That’s a witch’s mark, then.  A witch hunter?  Is that possible?  I’ve been praying on that, Zelda, and I just think if she wants to talk to someone, an outside opinion– no.  No, but I just– I feel like, as close to him as reasonably possible.”

“Sabrina.  We’re in here.  This is our niece, Sabrina.  Sabrina, we are being honored tonight.  This is Faustus Blackwood.  He’s High Priest of the Church of Night.  Dark Lord Satan’s representative on earth.  We’ve taught them to her.”


Zelda Spellman, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Netflix, Berlanti Productions, Archie Comics, Warner Bros. Television, Miranda OttoZelda Spellman

“Morning, darling.  How did you sleep?  Tempestuously, by the sounds of it.  Hmm, I remember the week before my dark baptism.  I felt as if my real life were finally beginning.  I barely slept.  No, Ambrose, well have none of your necromancy.  Yes, as you wish.  Before it can be baptized, the temple of your body needs to be purified.  Cleansed of its toxins.  Ambrose.  Sabrina, you need to pick a familiar before your dark baptism.  I’ve, uh, indicated a few suitable options.  Now, there’s a very handsome hedgehog, a noble-looking owl.  Vinegar Tom would happily welcome another dog.  Familiars are goblins who have taken on the shape of animals to better serve their witch masters.  There’s nothing human about them.  What about your baptismal name?  Have you settled on one yet?  Correction, Hilda, they’d be so proud of the young witch she is becoming.” — Zelda Spellman

“Yes, Hilda, what is it?  Oh.  Praise Satan.  And do the parents want an open or closed casket?  Well, even if we can’t use his flesh, we still need blood for Sabrina’s baptism, and human blood is always preferable, so, the timing couldn’t be more perfect.  Hellishly so.” — Zelda Spellman

“They’re jealous of you.  You’re the daughter of a High Priest.  Who are they?  Nobodies.  But that’s precisely why you need a familiar.  To protect you from these sorts of attacks.  What did they say about your mother and father?  Well, that’s just poppycock.  Your father and mother were flying to Italy.  Edward was giving a lecture at the Vatican when their plane went down.  Tragically.  Now get upstairs and into a bath like your Aunt Hilda says.” — Zelda Spellman

“I don’t understand you, niece.  You’d rather a feral familiar than one bred for service?  And why did you name him Salem of all things?  Club?  What kind of club?  Postpone it?  Sabrina, you cannot postpone your 16th birthday, especially not when it falls on the eclipsing of a blood moon which only occurs once every 66 years.  He hasn’t defiled you, has he?  Witch law forbids novitiates from being anything less than virginal.  Praise Satan.  Because it is witch law.  Covenant.  Choice?  It is our sacred duty and honor to serve the Dark Lord.  The extraordinary, delicious gifts he bestows on us in return for signing his book.  And you, you would deny him that?  We all signed the book, and proudly, I might add.  This is your mother’s influence.  This is your fault too.  We should’ve home-schooled her, as is our custom.  Witch law.  The Path of Night or the Path of Light.  But not both.  Yes, and it very nearly got Edward excommunicated.  Because it’s what they wanted for you.  Isn’t that right, Hilda?  Didn’t Edward and Diana both say so?  You are a Daughter of the Church of Night.  Your father was a High Priest.  You will be baptized under a blood moon, as we were, as all the Spellmans before you were, as your children will be.  And that, niece, is final.  Go to an orchard, find the oldest tree.  It’ll have one.  The older the tree, the more it’s seen, the more it knows, the more accurate its reading of the future will be.  And make sure there are no worms in it.” — Zelda Spellman

“It doesn’t fit.  What’s the point?  I don’t even know why I bother.  So dramatic.  It’s a birthmark.  Or it’s simply that his blood started to settle in his buttocks.  Yet another reason Sabrina needs to join the Church of the Night.  So she’s protected.  Witches without covens are easy pickings.  Who would you have her talk to, Hilda?  The Dark Lord himself?  Finish the embalming.  Carefully.  We’ll need every single drop of blood for Sabrina’s anointment during the baptism.  Shame they decided against a closed casket.  We haven’t had long pig for dinner in ages.” — Zelda Spellman

“It is, Your Excellency.  Honestly.  Forgive her, Father, she knows not what she says.  She’s learned them by heart.” — Zelda Spellman

“Mephistopheles save us from the melodramatics of a teenage witch.” — Zelda Spellman

“It is a sacred tradition.  Our obligation is not to question, it is to obey and participate.” — Zelda Spellman

“It’s a bloody mess what happened to the Greendale Thirteen.  The most ignoble chapter of the Church of Night’s history, but it is our history, and we cannot deny it.  After the witch trials of Salem, all the witches in this part of the country were terrified.  The Thirteen would be sacrificed.  To appease the mortal’s bloodlust.  While those 13 women were tortured and hung, the rest of the witches… burned their poppets and buried their cauldrons.  The coven could have come together to save the Thirteen, but they… we, our ancestors… decided not to risk it.” — Zelda Spellman

“On the contrary, I think we should all stay and protect the town.  And why not?  The Greendale Thirteen were sacrificed so that the pack might survive.  But we need not make the same mistake again.  We are Spellmans.  That means we stand tall, with dignity, and we do what is right.  As your father always did, Sabrina.  The mortals may be weak, but they do not deserve this grim fate.  Doom has been unleashed by witches.  It must be averted be witches.” — Zelda Spellman


Salem Spellman, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Netflix, Berlanti Productions, Archie Comics, Warner Bros. TelevisionSalem

“Sabrina.  I heard you calling in the woods.  And I came.” — Salem Spellman


Ambrose Spellman, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Netflix, Berlanti Productions, Archie Comics, Warner Bros. Television, Chance PerdomoAmbrose Spellman

“Oh, want me to bring it back?  Don’t do it, cousin.  Penny Dreadful for your thoughts, cousin?  hold a tick, you’re not having doubts, are you, about your dark baptism?  Back inside with Madams Jekyll and Hyde, you seemed excited.  It’s all right to– to be a little nervous.  going into the woods, signing your name in the Dark Lord’s book.  Even I had butterflies.  What have you told your mortal friends?  That you’re being transferred to some posh boarding school in Connecticut?  Cousin… you have told them something, I hope.  But it will never be the right time.  That’s why you must rip this particular Band-Aid off.  True, but afterwards, when you’re fully a witch, you’ll stay younger longer.  You’ll cultivate your gifts at the Academy of Unseen Arts, where your father was headmaster.  You will belong, cousin, in every sense of the word.  I’ve been under house arrest with our aunties for the last 75 years, Sabrina.  Forbidden from leaving these grounds.  I am continuously missing everything.” — Ambrose Spellman

“Hey.  Why so glum?  Sabrina.  Go to a posh boarding school in Connecticut?  Oh, my.  Wrenching in what way?  Along the Path of Night.  Oh, cousin.  If– if only I could make things easier for you.  My grimoire is your grimoire.  And what time will we be spell-casting?  The witching hour?  Ooh, spooky.” — Ambrose Spellman

“This isn’t like you, cousin, using witchcraft to settle personal vendettas.  Oh, that’s easy, then.  It’s lucky that Aunt Hilda keeps them as her familiars.  Are you sure you don’t want to kill him?  Because we could do that.  Right.  Well, we’ll only mildly traumatize him, then.  Spider, O Spider, pray why do you spin your pretty white web so fine and so thin?  To catch fat flies and make them into pies.” — Ambrose Spellman

“Aunt Zelda.” — Ambrose Spellman

“Let me ask you, that spell we cast on Hawthorne last night, you enjoyed that?  From the glint in your eye, you loved it.  You realize that your gifts, that euphoria fade to nothing if you aren’t baptized.  In that case, you need to get your hands on a malum malus.  It depends on who’s translating.  If it’s a man, it’s the apple of evil.  If it’s a woman, it’s the fruit of knowledge.  It’s an apple, Sabrina, you bite it.  And it whispers secrets to you.  Grants you knowledge.  Sometimes it might show you a glimpse of the future.  ‘Should you walk the Path of Night or the Path of Light?’  The malum malus might illuminate one path over another.  Is that interesting to you?” — Ambrose Spellman

“There’s something you should see.  In the embalming room.  Except I poked it, and… but if it is a witch’s mark and Connor here was murdered… might be worth bringing up tot he Council.  Hmm.” — Ambrose Spellman


Prudence Night, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Netflix, Berlanti Productions, Archie Comics, Warner Bros. Television, Tati GabriellePrudence Night

“A summoning spell, Sabrina?  Well, well, well… and are we to assume that means you’ll be transferring to the academy of Unseen Arts as well?  That’s unfortunate.  We don’t want half-breeds at the academy.  Isn’t that what you are?  Half-witch, half-mortal?  Stay with your own kind.  You don’t want what happened to your mother and father to happen to you.  Stubborn mutt.” — Prudence Night


Dorcas, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Netflix, Berlanti Productions, Archie Comics, Warner Bros. Television, Abigail F. CohenDorcas

“Calling forth a familiar?  The accident… that took their lives…” — Dorcas


Agatha, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Netflix, Berlanti Productions, Archie Comics, Warner Bros. Television, Adeline RudolphAgatha

“Then you are being baptized.  It would be tragic if a similar one befell you.” — Agatha


Harvey Kinkle, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Netflix, Berlanti Productions, Archie Comics, Warner Bros. Television, Ross LynchHarvey Kinkle

“How does she know these things?  Just thought they were kinda weird.  Sabrina’s nuts for ’em, the gorier the better.” — Harvey Kinkle

“It’s a monster movie, Susie.  Did we just watch different movies?  No, I didn’t.” — Harvey Kinkle

“Save yourself, Sabrina!  I’m a little scared.  They’re in the woods.  Mmm!  No, I’m not scared.  I’m not scared.  ‘They’re coming to get you, Barbara.’  Gotcha.  I got you something.  I love you, Sabrina.  I was gonna wait until your birthday to say that… but since we maybe can’t celebrate together this year, I thought– good night, Sabrina.” — Harvey Kinkle

“Hey, what’s up?  Everything okay?  Assholes.  Who were they?  Of course, but ‘Brina, these guys, they’ll close ranks.  Especially to someone not on their bullshit team.  I’m with you, we’ll try, I’m just saying–” — Harvey Kinkle

“Wait.  What?  I’ve tried, Roz, multiple times, but–” — Harvey Kinkle

“About your birthday, ‘Brina.  I know your have this super myserious thing with your aunts you’re not allowed to talk about… but… are you a hundred percent sure I can’t convince you otherwise?  It could just be the two of us… watching the eclipse together, waiting for it to get dark.  Mm-hmm.  And you really can’t tell us, tell me, anything about it?  What’s so important you’re gonna miss your birthday for it?  That sounds ominous.  What?  Are you being serious?  What the hell are you talking about, Sabrina?  So amazing you’ve never mentioned it to me?  Or to Roz?  Or to Susie?  So what?  You were just going to leave?  Without saying bye?  Well…. what school?  What’s its name?  Really?  ‘Cause I gotta say, ‘Brina. this is all feeling kind of shady.  It’s almost like… I dunno, like you’re… hiding something from me… which you don’t ever have to do.  You know that, right?  You can just… tell me the truth… whatever it is… and it’ll be fine.  Seriously, ‘Brina.  There’s nothing we can’t handle, as long as we’re being honest with each other.  What is it?  Tell me.  Okay.  What did you want to show me?  I don’t understand.  Reborn how?  In the woods?  Is that a metaphor?  Hazily, yeah.  ‘We?’  What are you saying?  That you’re a– what?  I mean– are you saying all this because you don’t want to be with me?  Because I said I love you?  That you’re a witch?  Sorry, a half-witch?  Yeah.  Yeah, it is.  Wait– oh!  Sabrina, what… where are we?  Oh.  Then?  Good.  Were we talking about something?” — Harvey Kinkle

“Hey, I should probably get a pumpkin for my stoop, in case we get any trick-or-treaters.  Your aunts don’t need any more, do they?  Okay.” — Harvey Kinkle

“Hey.  Pumpkins are in the truck.  Why didn’t you wait for me?  Aw!  Who’s this little guy?  I never really thought of you as a cat person, but… okay.” — Harvey Kinkle


Susie Putnam, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Netflix, Berlanti Productions, Archie Comics, Warner Bros. Television, Lachlan WatsonSusie Putnam

“No idea.  I thought it was weird too.  It’s fine.” — Susie Putnam

“The whole thing functions as a metaphor.  Yes.  On one level, it’s about zombies, but it’s also about the Cold War.  The collapse of the nuclear family.  You didn’t get that?  From when the daughter turned into a zombie and then ate her mother?  Oh, that’s terrible.  You missed the best…” — Susie Putnam

“They pulled up my shirt.” — Susie Putnam

“Okay.  You guys, you aren’t doing all this just for me, are you?  And the name, WICCA?” — Susie Putnam


Rosalind Walker, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Netflix, Berlanti Productions, Archie Comics, Warner Bros. Television, Jaz SinclairRosalind Walker

“‘Brina, why would you do that?  Yeah.” — Rosalind Walker

“Exactly!  Exactly, it is both.  Civil rights.” — Rosalind Walker

“Sabrina.  Hey, girl.  Okay.” — Rosalind Walker

“You mean, like, a club to topple  the white patriarchy?  Won’t Hawthorne block this?  He wouldn’t let me start a Daughters of the Black Panthers club last year.  How fast?  Just in time for your birthday.  But it is a big deal.  It’s your sweet 15, on Halloween.  There’s an eclipse.  I mean, that kind of cosmic alignment demands a party.  Harvey, back me up.  The She-Hawks.” — Rosalind Walker

“Hawthorne has never been sick a day in his life.  What did you do, stick pins in a voodoo doll?  It’s long overdue, girl.  But, yes, if anyone messed with you again, you’ll have a recognized, legitimate sisterhood backing you up.  The Woman’s Intersectional Cultural and Creative Association: WICCA.  Mm-hmm!  Mm-hmm!  Mm-hmm!  Mm-hmm!  And the more girls who join, the harder we’ll be to silence.” — Rosalind Walker


Principal George Hawthorne, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Netflix, Berlanti Productions, Archie Comics, Warner Bros. Television, Bronson PinchotPrincipal Hawthorne

“Well, uh, miss Spellman, if you could give me their names, then I will have them in for review.  You’re suggesting a witch hunt?  Hmm.  Well, if that is true, then you, as her friend… might… suggest to miss Putnam that she… find another school.” — Principal Hawthorne


Father Faustus Blackwood, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Netflix, Berlanti Productions, Archie Comics, Warner Bros. Television, Richard CoyleFather Faustus Blackwood

“It this the child?  Oh, my child.  You have no idea how special you are, do you?  How you’ve been chosen.  Your aunts tell me you’re having doubts about your baptism.  That you may, in fact, not be signing your name in the Book of the Beast.  No, no, no.  That cannot be.  That must not be.  So… let us see what I can do to convince you.” — Father Faustus Blackwood

“Now… your aunties tell me you have questions, about your baptism and such.  Allow me.  A witch’s dark baptism is our most sacred unholy sacrament.  The oldest of our rites.  We’ve been performing them for centuries.  Our Dark Lord’s book, the Book of the Beast, is the most ancient tome in existence.  That’s one interpretation, but it’s largely a symbolic gesture, as rituals in most religions are.  What else?  All religions demand some sacrifice.  But signing your name is more like… a pledge, let’s say.  That you’ll abide by his commandments.  Do you know your Thirteen Commandments?  I am glad to hear it.  Neither am I.  Neither are your aunts.  The Dark Lord, yes?  Incorrect.  He is the embodiment of free will.  Good.  Evil.  Those words matter to the False God, but the Dark Lord is beyond such precepts.  First of all, if you accept the Dark Lord’s gifts, you won’t die, not for a very long time.  Second of all, Hell is for mortals.  In exchange for their service and devotion, witches are exempt from the eternal flames of damnation.  Really, what’s needed here is a fundamental shift in thinking.” — Father Faustus Blackwood

“But if I may… your father was one of the Church of Night’s greatest thinkers.  He wanted you to follow in his footsteps.  It’s right that you have so many questions.  My advice?  Take your baptism.  Come to the Academy of Unseen Arts.  Learn our history.  Find answers to your questions.  Challenge them.  Make better answers.  Make us stronger.  Will you try, at least?  And should it not be your liking– free choice, child.  That is the bedrock on which our Church is built.” — Father Faustus Blackwood

“I’m very happy to hear that.  Integrity, honor, loyalty.  These are traits we should prize in the Church of Night.” — Father Faustus Blackwood


Mary Wardwell, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Netflix, Berlanti Productions, Archie Comics, Warner Bros. Television, Michelle GomezMary Wardwell

“Sabrina.  I didn’t know you were a fan of horror movies.  Well, um, who doesn’t enjoy a good scare every now and again.  Especially this time of year.  I have papers to grade.  But thank you, thank you for the offer.  Really.  See you in class, guys.” — Mary Wardwell

” ♪ I see a bad moon rising ♪ I see trouble on the way ♪ I see– ♪ Oh, my God.  Oh, my God.  Oh, my God.  Hello?  Oh, my God.  You poor creature.  My cottage is just down the road.  We’ll get you all cleaned up, then call Dr. Saperstein in the morning.” — Mary Wardwell

“I brewed you some tea.  I found some yummy almond cookies in the cupboard.  Won’t you tell me your name?  Or what happened?  Did someone attack you?  Oh, well… you’re not from around here, are you?  Everyone knows about the witch hunt in Salem, but there was one right here in Greendale… 1692.  Thirteen witches were hung in the forest… and their angry spirits have haunted the woods ever since.  Well, I am Greendale’s unofficial town historian, I suppose.  Plus, I teach at the local high school, Baxter High.  Why, yes.  Sabrina Spellman.  Do you know Sabrina?” — Mary Wardwell


Young Woman, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Netflix, Berlanti Productions, Archie Comics, Warner Bros. Television, Jenna BermanYoung Woman (Madam Satan)

“Help me, please.” — Young Woman

“No.  The woods did.  How do you know so much… about witches?  Is one of your students named… Sabrina?  No, but I knew her bastard-of-a-father who broke sacred witch law when he married a mortal sow.” — Young Woman


Madam Satan, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Netflix, Berlanti Productions, Archie Comics, Warner Bros. Television, Michelle GomezMary Wardwell (Madam Satan)

“The great works begin, Dark Lord.  I shall deliver Sabrina unto you.” — Madam Satan

“Not at all.  Perhaps I can be of assistance, Sabrina.  Yes?” — Madam Satan

“My heart weeps for your friend.  Such a difficult thing to be going through.  Puritanical masculinity?  And Prinicipal Hawthorne is the most intolerant, the most buffoonish, the most misogynist of all.  When will the world learn?  Women should be in charge of everything.  Our assistant principal, Ms. Glover, she wouldn’t turn a blind eye to what’s happening.  Just what?  Why not you?  A fish rots from the head down.  Principal Hawthorne isn’t an all.  If… if he were to take a sabbatical, say, I suspect you and your friends would come up with some way to help Susie.  He’s scared of spiders, you know.  Hmm.  Absolutely terrified of them.” — Madam Satan

“Ah, Stolas.  My familiar, my faithful factotum.  Our Dark Lord is wise.  He senses her attachment to the mortal world and has sent us to see that his will will be done.  And see to it we shall.” — Madam Satan

“A malum malus?  And what, Stolas, if the malum shows the half-breed something that dissuades her from her baptism?  Our Dark Lord wouldn’t like that, would he?” — Madam Satan

“Assistant Principal Glover tells me she’s ratified your organization and that on the application, I was listed as faculty advisor.  Happy to do it.  Especially if this club gives you the peace of mind you’re so clearly craving.  Oh, is there… is there something else bothering you?  Weighing on you?  Oh, absolutely.  Well, is, um– is it a good school?  Then why wouldn’t you go?  Mind you, not that I want to see my prize pupil vanishing on me.  This wouldn’t be about a boy, would it?  I’ve noticed how enamored you are with Mr. Kinkle.  Well, um… this merits further discussion.  Why don’t you and I get together after school and see if we can’t untangle this Gordian knot together?  Oh?  Ha!  How fun.  Where would that be?” — Madam Satan

“There will be no apple picking for you, my dear.” — Madam Satan

“Who am I?  Well, I’m not Mary Wardwell… though I do enjoy her body.  I’m the Mother of Demons, the Dawn of Doom, Satan’s concubine.  I’m Lilith, dear boy.  First wife to Adam, saved from despair by a fallen angel.  I call myself Madame Satan, in his honor.  But soon… very soon… I’ll have a new title.  You see… once I finish grooming Sabrina to take my place as Satan’s foot soldier, I’ll earn a crown and a throne by his side.  Who am I?  I’m the future Queen of Hell.” — Madam Satan



Idealistic Sentiments

FX Networks original comedy Better Things premieres S2E7 Thursday.

#Betterthings has been renewed for a third season.

rottentomatoes: 95%

metacritic: 80

imdb: 7.6

emmys: 2 nominations



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