On My Block, Netflix, Crazy Cat Lady Productions

Inner City

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harlem hookups gay porn original comedy sober dating sites premiered March 16, 2018.

#OnMyBlock has been renewed for a second season.

rottentomatoes: 93%

metacritic: 72

imdb: 8.1




Monse Finnie, On My Block, Netflix, Crazy Cat Lady Productions, Sierra Capri
Monse Finnie, On My Block, Netflix, Crazy Cat Lady Productions, Sierra Capri

Monse Finnie

Monse Finnie and her friends navigate the challenges of growing up in a lower socioeconomic status neighborhood at Freeridge High outside of Los Angeles, California.


Monse Finnie, On My Block, Netflix, Crazy Cat Lady Productions, Sierra Capri“Do you see him?  I don’t see him.  No doubt.  He’s got this.  When has Cesar ever disappointed?  Aw.  Ruby, you think your brother’s gonna marry Angelica?  I am a girl.  Why are you gonna die?  Died playing football?  You’re stuck on repeat.  So, don’t play.  You’re not dead.  Seriously, dude?  Oh, shoot.  That was a .38.” — Monse Finnie

Nada.  My brain is empty.  Do I really need some stupid writing camp?  I don’t want to waste my summer.  Not really.  Is Mario high?  What the freak?  That’s why you don’t smoke that stuff.  Why would anyone want to do that?” — Monse Finnie

“Maybe she’s not home.  Mmm, tolerable.  Mildly life changing.  You can?  How?  No prob.  Good luck at Cal.” — Monse Finnie

“I’m back!  No, seriously don’t make such a fuss.  I’ve only been gone all summer, but really, it’s no big deal.  Camp was fine.  Notice anything new?  You can wait for Cesar to help.  Why?  Where’s Cesar?  You in a fight?  Well, I’m not cool being not cool, and why aren’t you at football?  And sticking together!  You’re deflecting this whole Cesar sitch.  Stop being bitches and tell me.” — Monse Finnie

“What happened with Cesar?  This silent treatment will only last so long.  I will break you.  Come on.  There’s no way Cesar did anything on purpose to destroy our crew.  He’s the glue of our crew.  Ditch your colors.  Yeah.  Sorry, Jasmine, we’re having a private convo.  Real sensitive stuff.  Catch you next time.  Oh, you’re not safe.  Ah ha!  So, he said something!  My own protection?  Eat a dick.  Apparently, neither of you.  Lack of commitment seems to be a noticeable trend in this friendship.  As does lack of personal space!  Fine.  Then I’ll ask myself.  I just wanted to let Cesar know I was back in town.  An underaged hyna.  My boobs.  When did Oscar get out?  Now it makes sense.  Whatever Cesar said, he said it to impress Oscar.  Cesar’s terrified of his brother.  Then who cares what he said?  Do I look like I can just drop it?  It’s orientation day.  So technically, we’re neither back to school nor out of school.  We’re–” — Monse Finnie

“He’s not stupid.  He’s affiliated, yes, because of his brother, but… I know.  I know.  No!  I know Cesar’s family’s been in that life forever.  But he’d never join a gang.  He’s an outlier.  So whatever’s going on, it’s not that.  But I wasn’t here, so it’s not official.  Yes.  Why?  ‘Blossomed?'” — Monse Finnie

“I need to talk to you.  Privately?  Cesar is dead to me!  He doesn’t break up with us, we’re breaking up with him!  ‘Sit on my face?’  Who says that?  I wouldn’t put dumb crap like that past Oscar, but Cesar?  What happened to him?  Cesar’s gotta be hitting the pipe.  Right?  Right. That was totally out of character.  What are you doing?  Bound to be a lot of surprises.  Yeah, how was practice?  Did you quit the team and not tell your dad?  Wasn’t feeling it?  How ironic that a guy who can’t keep a secret is keeping the biggest secret of his life.  I’m gonna rat you out to your dad… unless you drop the 411 about Cesar.  What did he say?  Yes!  Mr. Turn–” — Monse Finnie

“I care!  Why are you whispering?  Where are you?  Can we just meet up tomorrow?  Geez.  Can’t we just meet at the joint at 5:00 and chop it up?  That’s my 11th text.  Ruby’s almost two hours late.  Said the guy who’s pretending to play football?  Uh, somehow I don’t think that’s possible.  What’s going on?  Great.  So, walk me through the moment Cesar said what he said.  There you go again. Keeping things from me.  You gotta stop withholding, God damn it!  I’m sorry, ma’am.  What did Cesar exactly say?  And how did he say it?  I need context.  Tone.  I need to know.  I can’t.  I’m still figuring out if I hate him.  You heard what your brother said.  How are we gonna survive high school without Cesar?  If that’s true then why should we take Cesar’s words to heart?  They’re just words.  What’s worse than losing a friend?  You’re right.  No one knows.  What are you talkin’ about?  No one knows?  Really?  I officially hate the traitor, and now I’m gonna kick his ass.” — Monse Finnie

“You little bitch! I fought for you.  I had your back.  For what?  For you to impress your puto friends and humiliate me?  Shut up, puto.  Crazy?  I’m crazy?  Don’t you patronize me!  I don’t need you.  Any of you.  I was trying to keep our crew together, but since I’m the only one who cares, you’re all dead to me.  I’ll survive on my own.” — Monse Finnie

“Hey.  So… I’m cool if you’re cool.  Cool.  What’s in the sacks?  I’ll see you tomorrow?” — Monse Finnie

“Stop worrying.  Dad, I’m god.  And not hiring Mrs. Ruiz will save us a lot of money.  I have to.  Saving money means you don’t have to go on long hauls as much, which means you don’t have to leave as much, which means no more Mrs. Ruiz.  I’m inside now.  Door is locked.  You saw it’s double bolted.  You saw it’s double chained.  So get some rest and I’ll call you when I wake up, okay?  Love you, too.” — Monse Finnie

“What are you doing here?  Get out!  Then why did you say it?  We promised we weren’t gonna tell anybody.  You were the one who said that we should keep this thing, our thing, on the low.  That it would create a rift in the crew, and it did.  So why’d you do it?  I don’t understand.  You don’t have to protect me.  Protect yourself.  Leave.  Get away from Oscar.  No, it’s not.  There are so many– no, it’s not.  you got jumped in.” — Monse Finnie

“There’s something I need to tell you.  .44!  Cesar… we need to save him.” — Monse Finnie

“This is the idea that we have figured out… nobody cares about the binders.  That’s what you did.  Getting you out of the gang.  Death isn’t the only option.  Ruby?  Clearly, murder’s off the table.  The irony would be too much.  Jamal, please don’t say it.  RollerWorld.  Brown.  We’re brown.  Only white kids find treasure.  We haven’t even pitched the final M.  Manipulation.  So, that was the best both of you could do?  Marinate?  No.  We got to cook now.  The longer we wait, the deeper Cesar’s in.  Right now he’s got no responsibilities.  We got to get him out before he puts in work.  No.  You’re overreacting.  I promise.  So, who’s gonna do it.  Not Jamal.  I’ll do it.  It’s you.  You said it can’t be me!  I think this is up for discussion.  Mm-hmm.  What are you talking about?  That was impressive.  Sold me on why he shouldn’t do it.  Congratulations.  You got the job.” — Monse Finnie

“Hey.  Why’re you being so nonchalant?  Being a Santo is serious shit.  Save the BS for someone who’s buying.  You’re giving in without a fight.  You used to be a fighter.  What if you disappear now?  I’m sorry.  I wasn’t trying to rev up the pressure.  I was trying to help.  Anything.  Yeah.  You need to stop talking about us.  Didn’t we decide to pretend it didn’t happen?  Didn’t we agree that dropping our secret would screw up the fam?  Those families are from Louisiana.  I know what you’re doing.  And attempting to bait and switch my concern is not gonna work.  You got to get serious.  Hear me?  It’ll never happen again.  Unlike those two minutes.  Three max!” — Monse Finnie

“After school.  Ruby’s house.  3:30.  Practice.  If it’s not gonna be me talking to Oscar, then we need a script.  I’ve whittled down the primary arguments into talking points for obvious reasons.  That we don’t want you to die.  Don’t worry.  I’ll dumb it down.” — Monse Finnie

“He’s not he man for the job.  We have to figure out the work around.  Like his diction.  Sometimes I don’t understand half of what Ruby says.  You know what I mean?  What?  Think about how I feel.  I have no time to teach Ruby not to talk with his hands.  He can’t do that stuff with Oscar.  Dudes gesticulate a lot on prison.  We don’t want to remind him…” — Monse Finnie

“Everything!  You guys don’t understand what it’s like to be a woman and treated like an object.  We have hearts!  Olivia, let’s go dine in a less hostile environment.” — Monse Finnie


Ruby Martinez, On My Block, Netflix, Crazy Cat Lady Productions, Jason GenaoRuby Martinez

“Pop a zannie, J.  We can’t see him ’cause he’s being stealth.  Mmm.  Fourth grade.  Kickball tourney.  We lost.  No idea.  Mario tells me jack.  In private!  Time and place, dude.  Oh, guys, check out Huerita at nine o’clock.  Monse, if you were a girl– yeah, but if you were a girl like that, would you wear underwear?  Guys, check out my game.  Huerita just gave me the nod.  Ah!  No.  God, no.  I’m not into blondes.  Mrs. Guzman, right?  Three hundred dollar refund.  Schedule C, line 30, home office deduction.  Thank God for your brother.  It sounded like a .44.” — Ruby Martinez

“She’s always pissed.  What?  My brother doesn’t cry.  Dude, he’s crying.  Look at me.” — Ruby Martinez

“Check me out, bitches!  I got my own room!  My own room.  So, let’s not trash it.  I don’t wanna break my pimp couch before it gets some play.  High school is an opp for reinvention.  So if I want to live a new life, I got to be a new man.  It all starts with my kingdom.  Ha.  No.  It’s a conversation piece.  And 2.99 at Ross.  Enough chitchat, let’s feng shui.  Can you move that side table?  How was camp?  You got boobs.  We’re not talking to him.  We’re not getting into it.  Trust us, Cesar’s not cool.  Yeah, I don’t want o be too sweaty for my ID.   Like Mario said, ‘it’s all about the right first impression.’  Yeah, Cesar ain’t shit.  Shit, Prophets.  Be cool.  Damn it.  Did I just jack my do?  Code dread  Code dread.  Approaching on your six.  Jamal, you need a muzzle?  Monse, no offense, but you’re a loose cannon.  We’re not telling you for your own protection.  Case in point.  You don’t even know, and you’re already at Defcon Solange.  Agreed.  And who wants a lifetime of commitment at our age?  We can’t tell you what Cesar said.  Six weeks ago.  Oh, just drop it.  Shit, Latrelle.  How can we take money out with our hands up?  We don’t have any money.” — Ruby Martinez

“What do you mean I don’t have my own room?  It’s only been four hours.  Did you try renting a WetVac?  So?  Ma, she grew up in an adobe hut.  She’ll be fine.  For stuff.  Like… like my brain.  I mean, there’s scientific evidence that the brain grows every day, and my brain needs room.  A room to grow.  Do you really wanna challenge science?  Why can’t she stay in the living room?  Grandma hasn’t been back to Mexico in a while.  Come on, ma!  I’m a man!  I can’t share with Abuelita.  Yes, please, anything.  Bring it.” — Ruby Martinez

“He didn’t say he ‘hit it.’  He said he ‘smashed, really hard.’  But who cares about context?  Dude, you can’t keep one secret.  I can’t do this right now.  Hell.  Look, I’m dealing with some jacked up, cracked up B.S. at home, and I got to work it out before school starts.  So, this Cesar sitch, it just ain’t top priority.  Dude, there’s no way I’m facing the Inquisition all by myself.  Fine.  God, you owe me a handy.” — Ruby Martinez

“Abuelita, I have to go!  That’s what you’ve been saying for the last half an hour.  Can I at least have my phone?  I think it’s pretty obvious.  Don’t worry about it.  There you go again what?  Monse.  Wait!  Monse!  We need to go back inside.  You know what I know.  What I don’t know is why he said it.  But he said it.  We tried to get him to take it back, but he wouldn’t.  So what can we do?  Drop it.  Why?  Mario’s not some sage.  Don’t take his words to heart.  They’re just words.  Sometimes it’s not what you say, but how you say it.  And Cesar said it like he meant it.  But things could be worse.  Entering high school with a rep.  You’re smart enough to know that a rumor could ruin your life.  But it’s contained.  Monse!  Monse!  Oh, my God!” — Ruby Martinez

“No!  Monse. This is why we didn’t wanna tell you!  Calm down.  Breathe.  All we were trying to do was be good friends… and now we’re not friends.  No, we’re looking hard.  This is how you pull in the honeys. You know what’s not real?  Is RollerWorld.  There’s no money buried in our neighborhood.  Oh, my God.  Hey.  I’m cool.  Forties.” — Ruby Martinez

“He’s not coming with us.  Monse?  What were you gonna say?” — Ruby Martinez

“I have the binders.  Done.  Sorry, it’s excitement.  We’ve been chewing on this the last two weeks.  And it’s finally time to move forward with a plan.  So, after copious amounts of research, I’ve formulated a theory that all great things come in threes: The Holy Trinity, primary colors, Destiny’s Child… but they weren’t big until they were three.  Which is why there are three common denominators to end any and all hostile situations.  I call them the three M’s.  Money, murder, manipulation.  No, not that one.  They’re watermarked.  There’s no way we can hustle up enough cash with a car wash to make it worth Oscar’s while.  RollerWorld.  In the ’80s.  What are you looking for?  Dude, you’re holding it.  Sit down.  Sit.  With cogent, well-articulated arguments.  Yes.” — Ruby Martinez

“With what?  Not Jamal.  Yeah, Monse’s a total no-go.  So, that leaves me.  But it can’t be me.  I mean, for starters, I’m small.  There’s nothing about me that’s even remotely intimidating and, actually, on numerous occasions, I’ve been told that just looking at me makes people laugh.  I also don’t do anybody any favors by being the smartest person in the room.  And no one wants to feel dumb when they can’t pick up what I’m layin’ down.  It’s belitting.  You follow?  You see, this is what I’m talking about.  I transcend the universal plane of thought and linger on the precipice of the celestial realm.  I can’t even keep up with myself.  But it’s who I am.  But if all of that isn’t convincing enough, then dare I remind you of my sensitive skin and inability to wear thick cotton.  I can’t hide my sweat.  And I sweat profulesly when I’m nervous.  Which I am right now.  I mean, look, full clam.  No shell.  I rest my case.  Brilliance is a curse.” — Ruby Martinez

“Why are you still wearing that fake neck brace?  Your dad’s nowhere in sight.  So the brace is doing damage.  No clue.  And I’ve got other problems.  I don’t know.  Like I have to sit down with a cold-blooded gang leader and attempt to explain why his brother should be exempt from the life he’s living.  How do you do that without being insulting?  Why would you say that?  I’m riding the wave.  I’m bouncing.  Can I rub ’em down with sunscreen?  Mmm.  And I can be dangerous.  Which are obviously what?  What the hell was that?  She’s not even in this class!  My room.  I forgot.  I finally, finally have my own room!” — Ruby Martinez

“What do you mean I don’t have my own room?  Abuelita moved out.  Cousin?  What cousin?  So she’s not even blood?  Why can’t she sleep with the twins?  Or on the couch?  This is reverse sexism!  Ruben,  I go by Ruben.  Sorry about all that riffraff you heard.  Total misunderstanding.  Mom?  I was being insensitive.  It’ll be no problem to share a room.  Ah.  But it would be cruel and unusual to leave her alone in this time of tragedy.  Come on, I’m the man for the job.” — Ruby Martinez


Jamal Turner, On My Block, Netflix, Crazy Cat Lady Productions, Brett GrayJamal Turner

“Something bad is happening.  I can feel it.  I knew this was a bad idea.  What about that time he said Angelica has a dangler?  But he said that.  Oh, my God, I’m gonna die.  I’m gonna die.  I’m gonna die.  Those guys play for the ‘Ridge.  Did you know that last year alone over a quorum of kids– no choice.  My pops was a legend.  It’s family tradition.  I’m dead.  Let’s go!  No, it was a .45.  Wrong!  .357!” — Jamal Turner

“Angelica’s pissed.  You would be too if you had a dangler.  She’s making Mario cry.  Here comes waterworks.  Not really.  I just don’t want to die.”” — Jamal Turner

“Royal reading?  You got boobs.  Then we’ll be waiting a really long time.  It wasn’t really a fight.  More like– we should really get to orientation before those lines get too long.  That was then, and this is now.  Man, she is relentless.  Nice save.  Your threats aren’t penetrating, okay?  I’m not telling you what Cesar said.  Don’t look.  Keep walking.  Why would anyone want to get jumped into 19th street?  If it were me, I’d join First Street, only one second of pain.  Along with everyone else.  Actually, you do.  You just won’t.  What about that 20?  At least you finally got your own room.”” — Jamal Turner

“Are you high?  I’m not gonna hash shit out.  To what end?  Death?  Cesar might’ve joined the gang.  And his cousins, his uncles, his dad, his grandpa.  Even the gay one.  Wait.  You knew about the gay one?  He goes by the name Bananas.  It’s not that subtle.  He’s not the same.  He dumped us.  If someone breaks up with you over text, is it official?  Then consider me the text.  Ding!  You’ve been dumped!  Wait, please don’t go.  Please, you’re… you’re not safe.  Because you’ve… blossomed.  Popped.  Busted out.  Puffed your party pillows.  Whatever you want to call your new cha-cha-bingos.  These new homies he’s hanging with, they’re thirsty.  Okay!  Don’t worry, girl!  I got your back… from right here.  Told ya.  Chairs who can talk!  And buttholes!  Could be!  I’m getting into character.  Hey, pops!  Say nothing and go with my flow.  I don’t know.  Ask those D1 scouts who were all up on me.  Ow.  Whoa.  No.  Yes.  Look, I suited up first day, and I just wasn’t feeling it.  Yeah, I wasn’t feeling like breaking my neck.  Listen, everybody who knows me know I suck, except my pops. And he keeps thinking that I’m just gonna wake up one day and be him, and… I’m not him.  I just need to find the right time to tell him.  What?  No.  Cesar said you let him hit it before you left for camp.”” — Jamal Turner

“So, what exactly was the context when Cesar said he ‘hit it’ with Monse?  She was blackmailing me.  Got one last shift at my dad’s joint before summer’s over.  Chill.  He said he’ll be here, so he’ll be here.  Trust me.  Maybe my pops won’t notice.  Where the hell is Ruby?”” — Jamal Turner

“Monse!  ‘Cause you’re going crazy!  Yo, bitches be bonkers.  No, we pull in the honeys by finding the RollerWorld money.  This is lame.  This ain’t even real.  It is real.  You just aren’t a believer.  You don’t even believe in the Yeti.  Hey.  I’m cool.  Gatorade.”” — Jamal Turner

“Dad, I can’t keep a secret for crap.  I’m not playing freshman football.  I don’t even like football.  I… I don’t like football… because I love football!  And I’m playing varsity.”” — Jamal Turner

“And why would you want him to?  Monse!  See, bitches be bonkers.  I can’t do this.  I can’t keep a secret.  It’s gonna make me implode.  I don’t know why anybody keeps secrets.”” — Jamal Turner

“You’re right.  You got the binders.  That’s all you need to focus on.  Why not?  Oh, I see your dilemma.  D.C. started with four members.  Unless… getting a lot of cash isn’t outside the realm of possibility.  It’s real and 50k is still out there.  The dudes that robbed RollerWorld got put away, but the money was never recovered.  And the rumor’s still rampant!  What about The Goonies?  Some of those kids thought it was B.S. until they found the treasure.  And they weren’t even– true.  No, this is Toddler Jesus.  Babies don’t stand.  This Jesus is probably already potty trained.  And this isn’t a daiper, these are booty shorts.  Through negotiation.  If you’d given me the right binder the first time, then I probably would have handled the conversation a little bit better.”” — Jamal Turner

“Cesar’s reaction was a wake-up call.  The plan isn’t fully formed.  We need more time to let our ideas marinate before we take action.  We’re still with it.  No, no, no, no, no.  Your mouth is gonna get us killed.  Mm-hmm.  Mmm.  So eloquent.  Which is exactly why he should.  Again.”” — Jamal Turner

“Three?  I’m pretty sure that was lap four.  It’s not about my dad.  It’s about muscle memory.  The longer I wear it, the more sore my neck feels and the more legit the injury looks.  No.  Maybe.  Crap, I didn’t think about that.  What should I do?  Like what?  Or getting killed?  Look.  Look, clear your mind, dude.  Breathe.  Margarita Ramirez, two o’clock.  Follow the bounce.  Imagine you’re riding that wave of bounce up and down.  It’s washing over you like a full body massage.  No.  No sunscreen.  Baby oil.  She likes to take risks.  For what?  Breathe.  Follow the bounce.  Up and down.  Look, take a mental snapshot.  Deposit it in your bank and then make a withdrawal later in your room.”” — Jamal Turner

“You’re giving me a migraine.”” — Jamal Turner


Cesar Diaz, On My Block, Netflix, Crazy Cat Lady Productions, Diego TinocoCesar Diaz


“Only ’cause I picked the kid with no skills.  And I’d pick you again.  Loyalty trumps victory, compa.  Ah.  Take it in.  This is about to be us.  This is high school.  Football spiral?  Jamal, CTE is not in your future.  Easy.  He does your mom’s taxes.  Don’t.  Thank God for better things.” — Cesar Diaz

“What are you thinking in your head?  It’s not a waste, it’s badass.  Not everyone can get in, even the kids who pay.  But… you’ll need this.  It’s for writing your stories and maybe an old-school letter or two, for your favorite?  You okay, homie?  Not really.  Is he kidding me?” — Cesar Diaz

“I’m listening.  Yeah, we can go inside.  But if you wanna sit on my face, you got to put that mouth on pause so I can concentrate.” — Cesar Diaz

“Ow.  Hear me out, please.  I never meant to hurt you.  Hey.  Oscar.  When he got out, he wanted to get at you, so I claimed you.  To protect you.  You don’t understand.  You’re gonna go off and be a famous writer someday.  Ruby’s gonna follow his brother and go to some fancy college.  Jamal, he’ll figure things out and get out.  But this life… it’s my destiny.  My family crest is and will always be a gang sign.  It’s too late.  You guys got me all twisted all these years about a future away from this place, but it ain’t gonna happen.  Man, this is all I got.” — Cesar Diaz

“Yo!  One at a time, I’m not following.  A plan for what?  You’re serious?  Oh, my gosh.  No!  No, no, no, no.  There is no out.  You’re being naive.  Once you’re jumped in, you can’t get out.  Unless, you get jumped out, and that’s not, you know, an option.  They beat you till you die.  Yeah.  What are you talking about?  All right, I’m out.  Don’t need to.  So, that’s it?  That’s the plan?  You’re gonna get me out of the gang with cogent, well-articulated arguments?  Never gonna happen.  Good talk.” — Cesar Diaz

“Who’s putting in work?  You still with that?  Jamal?  Trying to reason with my brother’s dumb.  You gotta promise you’re gonna drop it.  Especially you.  Promise.  Okay, good.  See you after class.” — Cesar Diaz

“Monse, you and I both know there are plenty of people in the life that nothing happens to.  They live and die and in between get a contact high and a couple of tattoos.  There’s nothing to fight.  Look, I got a reprieve when my brother went to prison.  I thought I could coast through high school being affiliated and then disappear when we graduated.  But Oscar got out early, so here I am.  And go where, hmm?  Do what?  I’m in.  It’s done.  I don’t wanna live my life thinking about dying, so I’m just gonna live.  I know.  I appreciate it.  And there is something you can do.  If you want to help de-rev the pressure.  Meet me after school.  Your room.  Clothing’s optional.  But some families are really close.  I’m serious.  And my window’s always open.  Never’s a long time.  Two minutes?  It was a solid five.” — Cesar Diaz


Mario Martinez, On My Block, Netflix, Crazy Cat Lady Productions, Danny RamirezMario Martinez

“Were you guys spying on me?  Yes.  No.  I don’t know.  Look at you.  On the verge of high school.  All the excitement.  All the firsts.  First parties, first football games, first love.  Want me to drop some knowledge?  High school it’s the foundation for the rest of your life.  Any false starts could lead to your own dead end.  Now sure, you guys are smart, setting curves and all that, but you still have to go hard, ’cause there’s only one chance at a first impression.  So, do you want to sit on the sidelines or play in the game?  Yes, he’s high… on life and memories… and some seriously good indo.  What I was saying is work hard, put your heart out there, even if it’s broken by some bitch you’ve known since Mr. Estrada’s seventh grade social studies.  Anyway… uh… …what I was saying, and you may want to write this down… don’t go into high school without back-up.  You guys need to stick together to survive.  Got it?  I’m going to college, mofos!  Now, kiss my class ring.  Damn, I almost forgot.  One last thing: don’t bone Monse.” — Mario Martinez

“Angelica!  Once I’m gone, I’m gone!  There’s not gonna be a Christmas break hookup!  You know why?  ‘Cause I’m gonna be hooking up with other chicks!  White chicks!  I don’t know why I’m saying that!  It’s you!  Talk to me, boo!  Oh.  Hey, you!  How was, uh… camp?  I can see that.  You just… look, I probably have to go before traffic hits.  Thanks.  And you, keep an eye on Ruby?  Don’t know what the kid’s gonna do without me.” — Mario Martinez


Oscar Diaz, On My Block, Netflix, Crazy Cat Lady Productions, Julio Macias Oscar Diaz, On My Block, Netflix, Crazy Cat Lady Productions, Julio MaciasOscar Diaz

“Hey, you crazy?  And looking like a fine ass hyna.  Not for some.  It’s all good.  You just look a little different.  What is it?  Nah, you got your braces off.” — Oscar Diaz

Hermanito, you better back up before you get smacked up.  Hey, watch it now.” — Oscar Diaz

“Cesar.” — Oscar Diaz

“What you want with Lil’ Ricky?  He’s the original veterano.  It doesn’t work that way.  Do I scare you?  Well, he scares me.” — Oscar Diaz

“Eleven miles.  I was out here three months ago.  The night I got out of Corcoran.  After four years in a six by eight, I needed to see something big.  Open.  Still don’t like onions?  Ever tried a shallot?  And you’re supposed to be the smart one.  A shallot my genius brother, is a type of onion.  A botanical variety of the species Allium cepa.  Spelling bee champ, seventh and eighth grade.  That’s who I am.  Shit, if I wasn’t looking after your ass, I would’ve hit that magnet school up in Pasadena.  De veras, homes.  All my teachers wrote letters for me.  Even the principal.  Told mom I was gifted.  And leave your little ass alone?  No, that wouldn’t have been a good idea.  Don’t worry about it.  Mom wasn’t always around.  When she was around… she wasn’t really around.  Good.  Then I did my job.  I had plans to ace that magnet school, then go to culinary school.  Hey, you joke, but that shit could’ve been real.  Give me all your shallots, biatch.” — Oscar Diaz

“I could get used to this.  What?  Are you gonna be one of those crazy homeless dudes at the Venice drum circle with dreads and henna tats?  Hey, I’ll visit you in your box.  Who says I want to live in a beach house?  Yeah, I guess I could live in a beach house.  But how are you gonna afford it?  This ain’t Freeridge.  What’s that mean?  What kind of school you gotta go to to be an architect?  It’s a good plan.  How are you gonna afford it?  Hey… we’ll figure it out.” — Oscar Diaz

“You want more days like today?  This is how we do it.  Ain’t no future if you don’t handle your present.” — Oscar Diaz


Latrelle, On My Block, Netflix, Crazy Cat Lady Productions, Jahking GuilloryLatrelle

“Tax time, bitches!  Hands up, money out.  I know you bookheads got that back-to-school gwop.” — Latrelle


Jasmine, On My Block, Netflix, Crazy Cat Lady Productions, Jessica Marie GarciaJasmine

“Yo!  You guys going to orientation?  Hey, you know my cousin Berto, the fine one, hey?  His daughter Letty said it ain’t nothing, unless you’re stupid and can’t spell your name.  And then you hold up the line and then people get mad.  Hey, why are you guys walking so fast?  You know I can’t keep up.  I have asthma.  That’s what you always say.” — Jasmine

“Hi! Damn, Ruby.  I see you!  I see you!  And I’m down with it.  I like the freaky, just like Monse.  You ain’t gotta be shy with me, girl.  I know you and Cesar be gettin’ it in.” — Jasmine

“Jasonse or Monsmine?  Which one you think is the better bestie power name?  Yo, where we gonna kick it at lunch and between classes?  We gonna hit up the flags?  No, flags can kiss my juicy nalga.  Nothin’ but skinny putas.  We are trying out for dance.  I ain’t sups coordinated, but I give really good face.  I just love that we’re doing this together.  You feel me?  Monse?  Hello?  Are you listening to me?  Breh!  Breh!  Breh!  Breh!  We need like our own routine.  Like a sick one that only we know, and we bust out at, like, at lunch… or before school or at all the parties we’re gonna go to.  Yo, check it, can you do this?  Can you do that?  Don’t worry, girl, I’m gonna teach you.  I’m gonna teach you.  I’m gonna teach you.  Soon, Monse, you gonna look like this.  This is gonna be you.  Hoo!  You gonna learn today.  Watch that, watch it.” — Jasmine

“Yo!  I am all about this ‘clothing’s optional.’  How about we take this twosome, make it into a threesome, and we can get some?  Hey.  Damn.  Jasmine’s in demand.  I’m gonna check you guys later, okay?  Bye!” — Jasmine


Geny Martinez, On My Block, Netflix, Crazy Cat Lady Productions, Paula GarcésGeny Martinez

“Abuelita’s room is flooded from the broken washer.  She’s gonna have to sleep in your room till we can dry it out.  Papa thinks there might be mold.  So she can’t sleep in there.  Ruby, you’ve never had your own room.  Why do you need one now?  Mmm.  What if I give you another option?  You can bunk with the twins!” — Geny Martinez

“She did.  But your prima needs it now.  My friend Rosa, her daughter.  Mija, ignore Ruby.  Ay, qué lindo.  That’s my boy.  Oh, and no.  You will be bunking with the twins.  No.” — Geny Martinez


Dwayne Turner, On My Block, Netflix, Crazy Cat Lady Productions, Eme IkwuakorDwayne Turner

“Monse!  Welcome back, baby.  You ready for the new year?  How was practice?  That’s my boy.” — Dwayne Turner

“What do you mean not playing and you don’t like football?  You serious?  Bring it on in!” — Dwayne Turner


Abuelita, On My Block, Netflix, Crazy Cat Lady Productions, Peggy BlowAbuelita

“Five more minutes, kid.  Five more minutes, kid.  Five more minutes, kid.  It’s okay.  I watch Bravo.” — Abuelita

“Baby Jesus.  He’s missing.  The special one blessed by the bishop.  I put him in here before I started to move into my room.” — Abuelita

“Her parents were deported.  Since when?” — Abuelita


Monty Finnie, On My Block, Netflix, Crazy Cat Lady Productions, Reggie AustinMonty Finnie

“It’s my job to worry.  Especially since it’s the first time I’m leaving you alone without a sitter.  Don’t you worry about that.  Remind me not to challenge you in the future.  You always win.  Okay.  Love you, baby.” — Monty Finnie


Olivia, On My Block, Netflix, Crazy Cat Lady Productions, Ronni HawkOlivia

“I can sleep on the couch.” — Olivia

“Is it me or did things just get weird?  Hey.  You’re hilarious.” — Olivia

“I’m pretty basic.  Oh, come on, you’re no dork.  Neither do I.  No.  Don’t care.  So, let’s do it.  Mm-hmm.” — Olivia

“What’s wrong with Ruby?  Am I interrupting something?  Ah.  Oh, I have plans with Monse.” — Olivia

“Hey.  How’s it going?  Your friends are really cool.  Monse gave me a tour and Cesar could not be any nicer.  Could you take a break for a sec?  I know how much you’ve wanted this.  Uh… I knew since the minute I met you.  I did.  So it’s yours.  Just… take it.  Shoot.  Right.  We need a plan.  We got to explain why we did it.  Yeah, it’s gonna be obvious.  I don’t know if I know what you’re talking about.  I want to give you your room back and I’ll bunk with the twins.  I know the kind.  I know what you’re doing.  Thank you, Ruben.” — Olivia

“Everything!  And minds.  So, take out any question that we’re going tonight.  The answer is no.  With a period, ’cause that’s what it’s actually called.  You read my mind.” — Olivia


Chivo, On My Block, Netflix, Crazy Cat Lady Productions, Emilio Rivera

Chivo


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