Hustle, Netflix, Happy Madison Productions, Kirschenbaum Productions, Roth Films, Roth/Kirschenbaum Films, SpringHill Entertainment

Hoops Head

Netflix original film Hustle dropped June 8th, 2022.

#Hustle was produced by Lebron James and Adam Sandler.

rottentomatoes: 92%

metacritic: 68

imdb: 7.4

Stanley Sugarman, Hustle, Netflix, Happy Madison Productions, Kirschenbaum Productions, Roth Films, Roth/Kirschenbaum Films, SpringHill Entertainment, Adam Sandler

Stanley Sugarman

Stanley Sugarman is an NBA talent scout outside of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Stanley Sugarman, Hustle, Netflix, Happy Madison Productions, Kirschenbaum Productions, Roth Films, Roth/Kirschenbaum Films, SpringHill Entertainment, Adam Sandler

“Taking me to see basketball or a cock fight? Okay. Big boy. He’s coming. Do we back up? He’s gonna take us out. Oh-oh! Uh-huh. What? What did he say? Yeah, that’s why we’re here. Very impressive. Tell him. Just a big man who makes shots. He would be in the rotation right now. And be a force, he would be a powerhouse in the league. I do have to ask something. So it says in my files, you’re 22 years old. It’s accurate? You’re 22 years old? The reason I’m asking… he’s speaking English. You understand my English? Because you can’t be in the draft if you’re over 22, if you’re from overseas. Do you have a birth certificate? Oh. Okay. Who’s this? It’s your son? How old is he? He’s ten years old. Okay. Okay.” — Stanley Sugarman

“What was going on on defense? Did you smoke a little before the game? A little bit. Okay. NBA, we need defense. You know that. I know. Okay. Hey, pretty lady. I’m in Greece enjoying the local cuisine. It’s very good. Yeah, that’s the idea. I love you, I’ll see you soon. Hey, Bubba. How about you? You wanna play basketball? I like the sound of that. Sure.” — Stanley Sugarman

“Hey, guys. Good to see ya. I had a red-eye. I’m about to get into all that. You’re not staying? Please don’t go. Okay. Goodbye. You’ve seen him pass before? I’ve never seen him pass. Offensively, there’s a lot to like, but I don’t think– Berlin loses a lot. Three games this guy didn’t show up to, they won. They’re better off when he’s on the bench. You check out the efficiency stats I sent? Thank you. Dirk never left the gym. This guy shows up late to warm-ups. He’s physically capable of it. He just gets bored out there. I’ve been to Germany four times in the last two months. I’ve yet to see him make a third effort. He’s late on rotations. Always bitching at refs, bitching at teammates. Referring to the highlights his mother put together. Cool.” — Stanley Sugarman

“Yes, sir. Okay. You son’s gonna kill somebody. No, no, no, I didn’t. I didn’t back down. I was just trying to save everybody some time. Marlon Daly. I can’t believe you remember that. Rex, you’re right. I should have pushed back more. I’m sorry, it won’t happen again. I can’t believe you made your uncle work in this closet. Thank you. Feels like I’ve been waiting my whole life to become a coach. Yes, sir. I won’t.” — Stanley Sugarman

“I can’t eat that whole cake. Wow, what a lovely welcome home. I missed you guys too. Not a side hug. What’s with the side hug? When did you stop hugging me? I don’t want to hear about that. That’s between you two. I told you I love that movie. Absolutely. No, you can’t. Why can’t she? Didn’t finish. Why? Okay, here’s what we’ll do. You can go to the movie tonight. No. No, no. But all weekend long, it’s just you, your history books. Sunday night, I want a TED Talk on the Homestead Act. All right? Okay. Cool. I love you. Now can I get a hug? No? No, hug. Because I was happy she was actually excited about something for a change. And to be honest with you, I… I wanted to be alone with you. I have some good news. You might even like me again once you hear it. You are looking at… well, you’re not looking, but you’re going to look soon, at the new assistant coach… …for the Philadelphia 76ers. Thanks for everything. Yep. Yep. We did it. We did it. We did it. That’s right.” — Stanley Sugarman

“Yo, check this out. This video is trending again. Dr. J still dunking when he was 63. Isn’t that nuts? Yeah, that’s true. But just look at the hops on that guy. There was nobody like him. Mm-hmm. What’s going on with school? How’s that going? In all honesty, what do we feel about college? Is that something you want to do? You talked about going to film school. Oh, I’m not worried about all those other kids. I’m worried about you. You against you, baby. You can get it done. You just gotta do what you love. That’s what you got out of this. Of course, I hated being away from home, but now that I’m coaching, I’m going to be around a lot more. So we’re going to get your grades up. Together. Okay. I love you. Have a good time with these guys. No side hugs for them. That’s just for me? I love that. Girls. I know you since kindergarten, none of you say hi?” — Stanley Sugarman

“Leon. Hey. Thanks, man. I just, I can’t believe… I just showed my daughter footage of you jamming, and it just brought back so many nice memories. No, no. Okay. Stay well. Yeah. Leon, man, I can’t believe this. Yeah. I got to make the rounds. I appreciate you. Love you too, Leon. Trying to think of something to say to you besides ‘I’m sorry.’ It doesn’t seem enough. No, man. Your father, he mentioned it to me years ago, but with my past, you know, he mentioned it to me years ago, but with my past, you know, I figured he’d rather forget about it. You’re bailing on us?” — Stanley Sugarman

“Come on, Haas, make him work. Too easy, Haas, too easy! Whoa, whoa. No, can’t have your arm straight like that. Put your forearm into T’s back, all right? Dig it in there. Okay? You decide where you want him to go. Exactly. Take him out of his comfort zone. Huh? I don’t understand what that is. Did you sleep last night at all? Do your work early. Let’s go again. Ready? Don’t let him go baseline. Hey, just focus. Go again. You want me now? All right.” — Stanley Sugarman

“We’re working on it. He’s young. We’re going to get him there. I wouldn’t say that. I would say it to your face. Cool. You’re not wrong. I don’t want to be out there anymore. I never wanted to be out there. I haven’t been home on my daughter’s birthday for nine years running, Vin.” — Stanley Sugarman

“What can I do? Call Vin right now and say. It’s not as simple as that. How can such a beautiful woman have such horrifying feet? What is the yellow thing? Guys in their 50s don’t have dreams. They have nightmares and eczema. There was only one guy who knew what I was capable of, and he died.” — Stanley Sugarman

“No, I can’t look at that. No, that’s going to get me in trouble. No. I’ll get in… Teresa will kick the shit out of me. I swear to God, I saw a Victoria’s Secret mannequin one time, and T was pissed off at me. Okay. For me? If I do that, then, there’s no room for growth. I still want to coach. At least I’m still in the league, you know. Talk about Zeke? He’s going one. We’re out. That idiot’s talking about trading Embiid? Are you kidding me? Yeah, I know. I appreciate you looking out for me. All right. Those are my titties. I’m about two sandwiches away from those titties. Yeah.” — Stanley Sugarman

“So how long has our boy been off the injury reserve list? Swollen. Not gonna play. What am I doing here, then? What’s he gonna tell me? There a place around here I can shoot some hoop? Here’s his chance. Oh, my God! What’s the big guy’s name? You don’t know? God damn. That’s it. Yo, yo, yo! Amigo. Shit. Shit. Shit. I haven’t sprinted like that in 30 years. Just waiting for my achilles to pop. Just… uno momento. I have an idea. Are you really a construction worker, or is that all part of the hustle? I mean, I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. It got me so excited. You’re a fantasy for a guy like me. What? Did that sound dirty or something? No, I didn’t… I didn’t mean it like that. I meant it like you’re an amazing basketball player.” — Stanley Sugarman

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. You understand English? I am a scout with Sixers. You know the Sixers, correct? Iverson, Barkley– uh… mom… madre… hi. Mi nombre Stanley Sugarman. Yo soy un basketball scout. Trabajo, eh, NBA… hijo… is muy bien. Muy… muy bien. She called me an old man. Yes, I am an old man. Is that your daughter? I have a daughter. She’s older. She doesn’t talk to me anymore. Hang on. Hang on. I have an idea. Por favor. Let me just call… I don’t know what time it is there. I hope he’s there. Please, God, be there. Please. Please, pick me up. Pick up. God damn it. Hey, Schnitzel. I’m in Spain. I wanted you to meet somebody. Dirk Nowitzki. See? How’s it going? How’s the retirement home? They still feed you pudding? Yes. All right. I deserved that. He’s starting to believe you, Dirk. Come on, help me out. That’s right. You see, this is mi amigo, amigo. Thank you so much, Dirk, and say hi to your grandmother for me. That’s right. You told me that. My bad.” — Stanley Sugarman

“There’s 450 NBA players, another 100 just waiting to get called up. It’s my job to know every other great player in the world. I’m very good at my job, I’ve never heard of you. So tell me your whole story from the top. Good, I said from the top. This is nice. Go ahead. The gym coach was smart. Soccer is awful. E.T. I bet. I’m sorry. Losing your dad at any age– roble? Que es ‘roble?’ Uh-huh. Right. I’m gonna make a couple of calls so I can see you play with some guys on your level tomorrow. How old are you? Basketball years are like dog years. We’re gonna do this, we actually got to do this now. To come to Philly? It’ll be a prorated league minimum. Yeah. Yes, NBA contract of any kind is maximum, no? Minimum salary in the NBA is $900,000. All right. I’ll text you the details in the morning. What a pleasure. Bo Cruz. Love the name.” — Stanley Sugarman

“I’m not nervous. I’m just very excited, Coach. Don’t know. His bus must be running late. He doesn’t have a car. Right on time. Here’s my man, the Cruz Missile. What? You don’t like that? I thought you’d love that. No? I’ll keep thinking. So I want you to meet Coach Scariolo. You know him. Spanish national team. Bo Cruz. Felipé. Alex. These guys are being nice. They’re gonna let you play with ’em. Willy, José, Pierre. Bo Cruz. Go on down and get laced up, stretch out a little bit. We’re going to have some fun. Yo, get some sneakers on. Be careful.” — Stanley Sugarman

“You believe this? He hit 44 out of 50 from the side pocket. He’s incredible! You watch the workout? Vin, the kid is the new Freak. He’s a unicorn, a mythical creature. There’s a reason for that. You fucking play in the G League, Blake. All right, listen to me, Vin. Nobody knows about him. You’re going to see this guy, you’re gonna freak the fuck out. I promise you, you have to see him live. I’m indispensable. So valuable, right? You told me if I wanted to get back on the bench to find the missing piece. Well, here I am delivering him for no money. And it’s not gonna happen? Pay me.” — Stanley Sugarman

“It’s all good. It’s just they don’t have a roster spot at the moment, but they love what they saw and want to see more. and let’s just say a spot doesn’t open up, we’ll get your name in the draft. So you play like you did yesterday, at the combine, you’ll be a lock. They’ll pay you for sure. It might not come at once, but you’ll get the money. I promise you. Giant body like yours on an eight-hour flight is gonna be rough. You’ll take my seat, okay? Okay. Yeah, no problem. Oh, yes. That’s good. Uh… I don’t want to start a riot back here. It’s cool, thanks. No, I’m trying not to, badly. Just give me a fucking roll. Thank you.” — Stanley Sugarman

“Oh, hey, that’s my kid. Yo, excuse me. No, no, he’s with me. He’s with me. What’s up, Oscar? What happened? Ah, Jesus. Right. Okay. Yeah. We’re all very excited about him. This is something I should have caught. I don’t want the team paying for my mistake. So keep this between us. I’ll cover your hours. Will do, Oscar. Thank you. Fuck.” — Stanley Sugarman

“Anything else you need to tell me? Now is the time. We all have stuff from our past, but having a criminal record’s a pretty big detail to leave out. No more secrets from now on, all right? No big deal, moving on. I got you this, for local and international calls. You can talk to your daughter anytime. Philadelphia, baby. You’re gonna love it. Best sports fans in the world. Actually the worst, but that’s what makes ’em the best.” — Stanley Sugarman

“Yeah. He wanted to call his daughter. I gave him money. He’s settling in. Bo Cruz. I don’t know if I want to give them this guy yet. Just wanna make sure I do what’s right for the kid. What?” — Stanley Sugarman

“You don’t get it. The kid is like if Scottie Pippen and a wolf had a baby. I’m saying if this kid puts it together, when he puts it together, he will be top ten in the league. And being the guy who finds the guy matters in this business. T… the kid is… special. With the cheese or with the whole thing? You should have stopped me again. This is fucking atrocious.” — Stanley Sugarman

“Where is he? Hey, what are you doing? Careful, please. All right, that’s it. That’s it. Take your money. Goodness. I see. We’re not here to hustle, man. Let’s go. Good Lord. Oh, my God. Yeah, but you got five cheese steaks. But you only took one bite of each one. Why did you look at me when you said that? Okay. What the fuck did you do to the minibar? Yes, but we don’t eat $9 Pringles. A man must have a code. It’s still $9. They don’t charge you per chip. Okay. Anyways, I got some good news. Um, an old friend, Leon Rich… right. We played together in college. He’s a power agent now, and he’s in Philly with a few of his guys for an open run. College kids. NBA prospects getting ready for the draft. It’s a scrimmage, but it gets serious out there. No, no, no. It’s just a showcase, not a big deal, just a step in the process. The whole idea is to give young bucks a place to shine. So you’re just gonna go out there, and you’re gonna shine, Bo Cruz.” — Stanley Sugarman

“Come here. Hey, Matisse, Kyle. Bo. This is Vin Merrick. He’s co-owner of the Sixers, but he basically runs the team. And Leon Rich, basically, he runs the world. Yeah, they met. Go get laced up, bud. Sorry, But I had to bring him. You’re going to see why after you watch the kid play. Appreciate it. Fellas. What is Kermit Wilts doing here? The guy’s a lock at two. He can shoot from anywhere. Just say with him wherever he goes. Don’t let him score in bunches. Don’t let him get hot. Okay? He’s here to show off. Use that. Get physical. You give Kermit Wilts the business, your whole world’s going to change overnight. You got this shit, go get it.” — Stanley Sugarman

“Get up on him, baby. Stay with him. We’re good. Right here. Go ahead, make something happen. That’s it. Yes, sir. Nice vision. Hey, hey. That’s it. Nice. This is gonna be good. Nice swat! Way to go after it. Good D. You’re good. Don’t come over here. Shit. Shake that off. Shake it off. Hey, let’s take a seat for a minute. Just give yourself a breather. All right, kid.” — Stanley Sugarman

“Shit. That wasn’t him. That wasn’t even close to him. It’s my fault. I rushed this whole thing. I remember. Nothing was good about tonight. Hey, I never asked you to pick up the tab on him, Vincent. Frankly, I’m not interested in working for a smug, born-on-third fucking bitch. So how’s this? Kiss my fat ass, and fuck your five-star hotels. I quit. The combine’s in six weeks. Can you get my guy in?” — Stanley Sugarman

“Is that what you want to do? You come all this way, have one bad day, and you’re ready to back down? Do you love this game? Love it with your whole heart? Because if you don’t, let’s not even bother. Let’s not open that door. They’re gonna slam it right in our face. I love this game. I live this game. And there’s 1,000 other guys waiting in the wings who are obsessed with this game. Obsession is gonna beat talent every time. You’ve got all the talent in the world, but are you obsessed? Is it all you ever think about? Let’s face it, it’s you against you out there. When you walk on that court, you have to think, ‘I am the best guy out there.’ ‘I don’t care if LeBron’s playing.’ So let me ask you again. Do you love this game? Is there a newborn kitten purring in here right now? I couldn’t hear you. Do you want to be in the NBA? Let’s make that happen. Never back down.” — Stanley Sugarman

Bo Cruz, Hustle, Netflix, Happy Madison Productions, Kirschenbaum Productions, Roth Films, Roth/Kirschenbaum Films, SpringHill Entertainment, Juancho Hernangomez

Bo Cruz

“I’m guarding him. I got him. That’s not your money. You’re a nobody. You’re a clown. You and me, one on one, right now. Twenty pavos for three shots. Three shots, he’ll never hit the rim. He’s fucking scared.”

“Why you follow me here, you fucking crazy? Bo, Bo Cruz. Nowhere. I just work construction. Mama, no. Mama, la nina.”

“I got to work. Twenty-two.”

“What? Hola.”

“I don’t understand. They still pay me to come. Okay. Oh, really? Psst, Stanley. Stanley. Here. Look what I got. They are warm. You want some? One bite? It’s really good.”

“Thanks, Stanley. Why not? Have you ever tried these Ishkabibble’s? Yeah, but each one is different. You take one bite and you don’t eat it all, because if not, you get fat. Come on, Stanley, I don’t say that. Sixers are paying, don’t worry. I literally eat one chip. They are not that good. Leon Rich who played for the Timberwolves? Like, who are these guys? So it’s like a real tryout? Okay, let’s go.”

“Huge fan.”

“Bo. Spain. No. Move out the way.”

“I fly home tomorrow. No, but I suck. Yes. Yes!”

Teresa Sugarman, Hustle, Netflix, Happy Madison Productions, Kirschenbaum Productions, Roth Films, Roth/Kirschenbaum Films, SpringHill Entertainment, Queen Latifah

Teresa Sugarman

“Where are you? Babe, you’re killing yourself.”

“Look at the berries. You need to zoom out so they can see the whole thing. Looks like you already did. Welcome back. Welcome back. Okay. Honey, you gotta be more gentle. Your baby’s got titties now. No, she can’t. She never finished her presentation on the Homestead Act. Oh, wow. Why would you do that? You think you’ll get some love after that bullshit you just pulled? Hell, no. Oh. Stanley, Stanley. AC! AC! ‘No! Get down there!’ ‘Get your ass up! Get your ass up!'”

“So what you gonna do, Sugarbear? ‘Kiss my fat ass and fuck your five-star hotels.’ You don’t need this. It’s a callus from exercise. Remember exercise? So you’re just gonna give up on your dream?”

“He’s at that hotel all by himself? So when are you taking this, what’s his name again? When are you taking Bo across the river to train with the team? The Sixers don’t know you stashed him.”

“So what are you saying? He has a hair face? Won’t Vince fire you for this? Okay.”

Alex Sugarman, Hustle, Netflix, Happy Madison Productions, Kirschenbaum Productions, Roth Films, Roth/Kirschenbaum Films, SpringHill Entertainment, Jordan Hull

Alex Sugarman

“Dad, when I said I didn’t get geometry, I didn’t want you to email my teacher. So embarrassing.”

“Mom, no one uses filters. That’s disgusting. Dad, can I go to the cemetery tonight? They’re showing Evil Dead. I don’t know. Yes. Fine. Yes. Thank you. Love you too. No.”

“Yeah, you should put your phone away, though, because you’re driving. That’s cool. It’s, um…nothing. It’s fine. So many kids are applying to film schools. They’re not going to pick me. Did you love being away from home all the time? Love you. Bye. Hi! I’m so excited! Hi! Bye, Dad.”

Leon Edwards, Hustle, Netflix, Happy Madison Productions, Kirschenbaum Productions, Roth Films, Roth/Kirschenbaum Films, SpringHill Entertainment, Kenny Smith

Leon Edwards

“Hey. Nice touch with the suit. Anything you ever need, call me, man. Love you, bro. Let’s talk soon, 22.”

“Yo, Double Deuce, I heard you back on that road, man. I’m in Spain too, with a client, so let’s have breakfast.”

“Look at this pool, check it out. Yeah, you can. One look, just one look. I came to talk to you about something. Why don’t you come just be an agent with me? Got an open spot, I got all the partners on board. This Philly thing, there’s room to grow there? Vin came to see me last week. Talk about Zeke. He could trade up, package Embiid with that King’s pick. Look, nobody’s safe now. Guy like Vin, he wants to put his fingerprints on the team. Just think about my offer, Deuce. Always, man. And do me a favor, please look at these titties. I’ll take the blame. Just check them out. Those are yours. They actually kind of look like yours.”

“The Double Deuce told me a lot about you, man. He thinks he should be number one. I like– I like him. I like him.”

“He had his moments. I saw it. Remember our freshman year, we were playing at Gonzaga, they put John Stockton on me? You said watch out for this guy. I said nobody looking like an insurance salesman going to bust my ass. Midway through the second half, 20 points, 20 assists. None of y’all would look at me. Remember? Remember me playing like that again? No, ’cause I never wanted to feel that feeling again. So tonight’s a good thing. I got to catch a plane. I’ll work on it. Don’t have a heart attack, man. Come on, 22.”

Julius Erving, Hustle, Netflix, Happy Madison Productions, Kirschenbaum Productions, Roth Films, Roth/Kirschenbaum Films, SpringHill Entertainment

Julius Erving

“Hey. Rex loved you, man. You can’t let ’em forget. Right, Stanley? I’ll let you old friends catch up. Thank you.”

Vince Merrick, Hustle, Netflix, Happy Madison Productions, Kirschenbaum Productions, Roth Films, Roth/Kirschenbaum Films, SpringHill Entertainment, Ben Foster

Vince Merrick

“Kid can score at will. Makes shots from all over the floor. A match-up nightmare. He’s just reading the stats, Billy. He’s playing with scrubs. His best chance to win is to shoot. With us, he’ll adapt. We’ve done the modeling. He checks every box. In three years he could be an All-Star. Yeah… the kid can defend all five positions. He’s bitching because he cares. He wants to win. We’ve all seen the tape. Like the Bargnani tape you tried to trade up with? Listen, Dad, he’s a 19-year-old, 7-footer with a 35-foot range and a guard’s handle. I see him in another team’s jersey, I’m gonna goddamn kill someone.”

“How’s he doing? I fucked up. I shouldn’t have drafted Haas. To my face? My father always appreciated your honesty. I’m working on it. I really am. I have one job, to maximize this team’s chances of winning an NBA championship by any means necessary. Hell with the naysayers. Right? I’m glad to hear you say that. Got the Hawks’ pick next year, we can’t afford to miss. To be champion requires sacrifice. Manu coming off the bench. That’s this. That’s you. You’re valuable as a coach, you’re indispensable as a scout. I’m not asking. Stan. Find me that missing piece, you’re right back on the bench coaching.”

“Of course, I watched. Kid’s impressive. But there are other considerations. Character, mentality. Playing within a system. I sound like you right now. The kid hasn’t played organized basketball in eight years. It’s not gonna happen, Stan. I pay you to find players, not tell me what to do with them. You got something to say, Stan?”

“Stanley. Oh, yeah, Bo Cruz. We certainly have heard a lot about you from Stanley, and Oscar Morales. Our in-house counsel, he met you at the airport. Good luck.”

“He’s got a lot of length. Does he have any control? He’s like a giraffe on roller skates. Nothing.”

“That was some awful… wanna grab some din-din? You’re gonna have to pick up the tab on the Spanish kid. I’m not interested. Time to get back out there and keep looking. You’re gonna miss another one of your daughter’s birthdays. The Sixers will send something nice for her.”

Rex Merrick, Hustle, Netflix, Happy Madison Productions, Kirschenbaum Productions, Roth Films, Roth/Kirschenbaum Films, SpringHill Entertainment, Robert Duvall

Rex Merrick

“Yeah. Who’ve you been dating? You’re not dating? Okay. We want to win now. So what’s not to like, Stanley? Yeah.”

“Get in. So, I’m not drafting Haas. Yeah, maybe you. You shouldn’t have backed down to him. I remember when you were at Temple. I think it was the second game of the season, and we were playing at Saint Joe, and some guy took Leon’s knees out. I remember you knocking him into the second row and then having to be held back from fighting that entire team. That’s the reason I brought you in, because you never took anybody’s shit. No, it won’t. Karl, could you pull around to the back, please?”

“After I bought the team, this was before your time, I gave this office to my Uncle Connie. He helped out with everything, worked every day. Sorry I didn’t make it happen for you sooner. I know it’s not on the bench, but it’s behind the bench. So what do you think? Come here. Come. Never back down. All right? Yeah. Yeah. Right.”

“Hi, I’m not here right now. Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you when I can.”

Kat Merrick

“Yeah. Come on, Dad. I’d never tell you who I was dating. Just a second. Hi. Wow, you look tired. How was the German MJ? I have an 11:30 call with Adam Silver. You didn’t like the kid? Oh… shit. Good luck Sugarman.”

“I heard you’re moving to the bench. Uncle Connie’s office. Dad was so excited. ‘We need a spark, Katherine.’ He’d never forget about you, Sugarman. So my brother’s going to be taking over the team. No, I’m gonna keep my seat on the board. Vin’s going to run the day-to-day. He really wants this.”


“He was a very strong baby. A very sweet boy. When he was ten years old, was his gym coach idea to do basketball. And the club teams, they want him to play football. But with basketball, he played with the big kids when he was still small. Biggest hands, though. They tease him. The… the movie with the little alien. Ehm… phone home. Yes. Very mean boys. But also, he kind of looked like an alien. He played every day. After his father, well, he went away. We don’t have him anymore. Oh, no, he’s not lost. He moved to Portugal with whore. What? It’s true, she knows. After his father left… mi roble. My strong oak tree. He played basketball all his time, so he no think of him. He was invited to a club team in America when he was 15, but before he left, Lucia’s mother got pregnant. So he stayed here for Lucia. And how much money will you pay him? But you say he was great. For great, you pay the maximum, no? And how much is the minimum? He will call in sick.”

76ers Executive

“His true shooting percentage, same as Steph’s was at Davidson. Shit.”

“Let’s see what he can do in the G League.”

“I think the game’s too fast for him. Stanley knows how to fuck up his life. Another bad decision in the books.”


“You’re taking it too far. Rex, you want to win now, or in three years? That’s too soon.”

76ers 2

“I think Doc will like the way this kid can pass. Everyone in Germany is saying this guy’ll be the next Dirk.”

76ers stats

“I actually have the stat, Stan.”

Wells Fargo Center

“Hey, guys.”

Wells Fargo Center 2

“Come on, Haas, make him work. Too easy, Haas, to easy! Come on, Haas. Come on, Haas. Make him work.”


“Like Jrue Holiday, bro. Make him work.”

76ers female executive

“Hey, Stan. You got a minute? Yeah.”


“Stanley, you know how many scouts have come to see Haas play? We would love to see him go to the Sixers. Embiid. Maxey. Harris. Haas. Dynasty. No?”

Coach Scariolo

“Doing good, Stanley? When is your kid coming in? ¿Qué tal?”

Spaniard 2

“You want to try? Willy, you’re off the team. He can jump.”

U.S. Customs

“Sir, I need you to come with me.”


“He got flagged for an aggravated assault charge. Beat up a guy pretty bad five years ago. He needs to be very careful. He goes in front of a judge for even running a stop sign, he can get his visa permanently revoked. Are you looking at him for the draft? No problem. Just bring us back home a championship, right? Good.”


“Yeah. You’re looking for the big man? He ain’t here. Make a right on 13th.”

Radio Host

“Good evening, everybody, Anthony Gargano here, I’ve got breaking news. And it’s very, very sad news. I’ve just confirmed it. I don’t even want to say it. But Rex Merrick, you know our beloved Rex, owner of the Sixers, has passed away tonight. I’m at a loss for words. He was one of the great people. He was one of our people. He grew up dirt poor in Altoona, Pennsylvania. He was just like everybody else in his town. He built great wealth, but he never distanced himself from us. And this is why we lost a great one today. So Rex, this is for you.”


“The local time is 7:42 a.m. For those of you returning home to Philadelphia, welcome back.”

“Welcome to Mallorca, Spain. The local temperature is 30 degrees Celsius…”

“This is your captain speaking. I’d like to welcome everyone aboard Flight 718. We’re currently cruising at…”

Spanish Scout

“Garcia’s knee’s swollen. He’s not going to play. You don’t wanna talk to coach?”

Spanish Hooper

“They can’t guard me. Who you guarding? Nobody! That was a bullshit foul. Give me my money. That’s my money. I won that match. Where’s my money? What are you looking at? Do you know who I am? And you are shit. You big piece of shit. Fouling me all game. With those boots?”

Spanish Hooper 2

“What do you mean your money?”


“I don’t know.”


“We do everything. He wants to go to the NBA. Mm-hmm. Da. Da. Yeah. Yeah.”


“Yes, I’m 22 years old. It was big fire. It’s my son. Yes. He’s ten years old.”

Dirk Nowitzki

“Uh, hello? Who is this? How’d you get this number? I don’t know you. But I’ve never seen this man before in my life. Ah… I’m just kidding, that’s Stan the man right there. He’s a legend. What’s your name, kid? Where you play at, Bo Cruz? Not for long if Stan is calling me about you. My grandma died.”

Kyle Lowry

“‘Sup? Thanks, man. Come on. So Stanley’s not coming to dinner?”

Matisse Thybulle

“How you know he’s talking about you? Oh! It’s okay. I really wish he was now.”

Anthony Edwards

“Best of luck out there, man. What’s your name? Bo. I like that. Strong, strong like a bull. Let’s give these people a show. What do you say, Bo? So, where are you from? Shit sounds wack. Y’all like bull fights over there, right? So, here’s what’s going to happen. You’re the bull. I’m the motherfucker with a cape running your big dumb ass in circles. That’s cool. Let’s get it. Welcome to America. I don’t need no help. Finna hit you with a hazy, cross sidestep. Think you can stop me? Yeah! You get it, right? Step back three. Really can’t guard me, bro. Damn, you slow. Listen to him. Listen to your daddy. Here comes a brick. Oh, yeah! Ole, bitch!”

Jay Wright

“Who’s this? Stan’s kid getting a lesson here. You can see it’s getting to his head.”

Seth Curry

Tobias Harris

Luka Doncic

Allen Iverson

Shaquille O’Neal

Charles Barkley

Ernie Johnson

Mark Jackson

Jordan Clarkson

Aaron Gordon

Trae Young

Jim Goldstein

Doc Rivers

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