Goodfellas, HBO Max, Warner Bros.

Wise Guys

HBO Max original film Goodfellas was released September 19, 1990.

#Goodfellas collected $47M at the international box office.


rottentomatoes: 96%

metacritic: 90

imdb: 8.7

http://brainsandcareers.com/men-looking-for-women-near-me/: 5 nominations



Henry Hill, Goodfellas, HBO Max, Warner Bros., Ray Liotta
Henry Hill, Goodfellas, HBO Max, Warner Bros., Ray Liotta

Henry Hill

Henry Hill is a foot soldier for the dating profile photographer crime family outside of 1970 Brooklyn, New York.

Henry Hill, Goodfellas, HBO Max, Warner Bros., Ray Liotta

“What the fuck is that? Jimmy. Did I hit something? Is there a flat? W– no.” — Henry Hill

“As far back as a I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster. To me, being a gangster was better than being the president of the United States. Even before I first wandered into the cab stand for an after-school job, I knew I wanted to be a part of them. It was there that I knew that I belonged. To me it meant being somebody in a neighborhood that was full of nobodies. They weren’t like anybody else. They did whatever they wanted. They double-parked in front of a hydrant nobody every game them a ticket. In the summer when they played cards all night, nobody ever called the cops.” — Henry Hill

“Tuddy Cicero. Tuddy. Tuddy ran the cab stand and the Bella Vista Pizzeria and a few other places for his brother Paul who was the boss over everybody in the neighborhood. Paulie might have moved slow… but it was only because Paulie didn’t have to move for anybody.” — Henry Hill

“At first my parents loved that I found a job across the street from the house. My father, who was Irish, was sent to work at the age of 11. He liked that I got myself a job. He always used to say American kids were spoiled lazy.” — Henry Hill

“Bye, dad. See you, Mikey.” — Henry Hill

“My mother was happy after she found out that the Ciceros came from the same part of Sicily as she did. To my mother, that was the answer to all her prayers. I was the luckiest kid in the world. I could go anywhere, I could do anything. I knew everybody and everybody knew me. Wiseguys would pull up, and Tuddy would toss me their keys and let me park their Cadillacs. Here I am, this little kid. I can’t even see over the steering wheel, and I’m parking Cadillacs.” — Henry Hill

“But it wasn’t too long before my parents changed their minds about my job at the cab stand. For them, the cab stand was supposed to be a part-time job. But for me, it was definitely full-time. That’s all I wanted to do. See, people like my father could never understand, but I was a part of something. I belonged. I was treated like a grownup.” — Henry Hill

“Every day, I was learning to score. A dollar here, a dollar there. I was living in a fantasy.” — Henry Hill

“My father was always pissed off. He was pissed that he made such lousy money, he was pissed that my kid brother Michael was in a wheelchair, he was pissed that there were 7 of us living in a tiny house.” — Henry Hill

“But after a while, he was mostly pissed because I hung around the cab stand. He knew what went on at that cab stand, and every once in a while, I’d have to take a beating. But by then I didn’t care. The way I saw it, everybody takes a beating sometime.” — Henry Hill

“I can’t make any more deliveries. My dad said he’s gonna kill me. Look. No. Nope. That’s the guy.” — Henry Hill

“That was it. No more letters from truant officers, no more letters from school. In fact, no more letters from anybody. Finally, my mother had to go to the post office and complain. How could I go back to school after that and pledge allegiance to the flag and sit through good government bullshit? Paulie hated phones. He wouldn’t have one in his house. He used to get all his calls secondhand. Then you’d have to call the people back from an outside phone.” — Henry Hill

“There were guys, that’s all they did, all day long, was take care of Paulie’s phone calls. For a guy who moved all day long, Paulie didn’t talk to 6 people. If there was a union problem or say a beef in the numbers, only the top guys can meet with Paulie to discuss it. Everything was one-on-one. Paulie hated conferences. He didn’t want anybody hearing what he said. And he didn’t want anybody listening to what he was being told. Hundreds of guys depended on Paulie and he got a piece of everything they made. It was tribute just like in the old country except they were doing it here in America. All they got from Paulie was protection from other guys looking to rip them off. That’s what it’s all about. That’s what the FBI could never understand, that what Paulie and the organization does is offer protection for people who can’t go to the cops. That’s it. That’s all it is. They’re like the police department for wiseguys.” — Henry Hill

“People looked at me differently. They knew I was with somebody. I didn’t have to wait in line at the bakery on Sunday mornings anymore for fresh bread. The owner knew who I was with and he’d come from around the counter. No matter how many people were waiting, I was taken care of first. Our neighbors didn’t park in our driveway anymore, even though we didn’t have a car. At 13, I was making more money than most of the grownups. I had more money than I could spend. I had it all. One day… one day, some of the kids from the neighborhood carried my mother’s groceries all the way home. You know why? It was out of respect.” — Henry Hill

“Hi. Mom. What do you think? Look at my shoes. Aren’t they great?” — Henry Hill

“That was the first time I had ever seen anyone shot. I remember feeling bad about the guy, but I also remember feeling that maybe Tuddy was right. I knew Paulie didn’t want anybody dying in the building.” — Henry Hill

“It was a glorious time, and wiseguys were all over the place. It was before Appalachin and before crazy Joe decided to take on a boss and start a war. It was when I met the world. It was when I first met Jimmy Conway. He couldn’t have been more than 28, 29 at the time, but he was already a legend. He’d walk in the door, and everybody who worked the room just went wild. He’d give the doorman a hundred just for opening the door. He’d shove hundreds in the pockets of the dealers and all the guys that ran the games. The bartender got a hundred just for keeping the ice cubes cold.” — Henry Hill

“Thank you. Jimmy was one of the most feared guys in the city. He was first locked up at 11. He was doing hits for mob bosses when he was 16. Hits never bothered Jimmy. It was business. But what Jimmy really loved to do… what he really loved to do was steal. I mean, he actually enjoyed it. Jimmy was the kind of guy who rooted for the bad guys in the movies. He was one of the city’s biggest hijackers of booze, cigarettes, razor blades, shrimp, and lobsters. Shrimp and lobsters were best. They went really fast. Almost all of them were gimmies. They gave it up, no problem. They called him Jimmy the gent. The drivers loved him. They’d tip him off about the really good loads, and if course everybody got a piece.” — Henry Hill

“And when the cops assigned a whole army to stop Jimmy, what did he do? He made them partners.” — Henry Hill

“One Pall Mall here you go. Whatd’ya need? 2 Luckies. Thanks a lot. Here you go. What do you need? One Pall Mall. Here you go. It’s all right. How many cartons you need? It’s ok. No. You don’t understand!” — Henry Hill

“Uh, yes, sir, that’s me. Hey, Jimmy. What for? I got pinched. I thought you’d be mad. What?” — Henry Hill

“By the time I grew up there was 30 billion a year in cargo moving through Idlewild airport, and believe me, we tried to steal every bit of it. You gotta understand, we grew up near the airport. It belonged to Paulie. We had friends and relatives who worked all over the place. They would tip us off about what was coming in and moving out. If any truckers or airlines gave us any trouble, Paulie had his union people scare them with a strike. It was beautiful, an even bigger moneymaker than numbers, and Jimmy was in charge of it all. Whenever we needed money, we’d rob the airport. To us, it was better than Citibank.” — Henry Hill

“There was Jimmy and Tommy and me, and there was Anthony Stabile. Frankie Carbone. And then there was Mo Black’s brother Fat Andy. And his guys, Frankie the Wop… Freddy No Nose… and then there was Pete the Killer, who was Sally Balls’ brother. Then you had Nickey Eyes… and Mikey Franzese. And Jimmy Two Times who got that nickname because he said everything twice, like…” — Henry Hill

“Vinnie, they’ll be out of style by the time we get this going. Come on, Vinnie. We got coats. Suits are, uh, coming Thursday. You don’t want the furs? I’ll take the furs away.” — Henry Hill

“For us, to live any other way was nuts. To us, those goody-good people who worked shitty jobs for bum paychecks and took the subway to work every day and worried about their bills were dead. They were suckers. They had no balls. If we wanted something, we just took it. If anyone complained twice, they got hit so bad they never complained again. It was just all routine. You didn’t even think about it.” — Henry Hill

“I’ll take care of it. Tell him what you were telling me, Frenchy. The only problem is getting a key. But I got something all worked out. He said the best time is probably over the weekend. He said the best time is probably over the weekend. I don’t think it will be a problem at all.” — Henry Hill

“Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! You’re a pisser. Really funny. Really funny. It’s funny, you know. The story. It’s funny. You’re a funny guy. It’s just, you know, you’re just funny. It’s… funny. The way you tell the story. What? Just, you know, you’re funny. I don’t know. Just.. you know. How you tell the story. What– get the fuck out of here, Tommy. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!” — Henry Hill

“You’re a funny guy. Come on, come on, come on. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! You really are a funny guy!” — Henry Hill

“Sonny, tell him what we talked about. Yeah. Go on. You think it’s–” — Henry Hill

“Now the guy’s got Paulie as a partner. Any problems– he goes to Paulie. Trouble with a bill– he can go to Paulie. Trouble with the cops, deliveries, Tommy– he can call Paulie. Now the guy’s got to come up with Paulie’s money every week, no matter what. Business bad? Fuck you. Pay me. Oh, you had a fire? Fuck you. Pay me. Place got hit by lightning? Fuck you. Pay me.” — Henry Hill

“Mind if I get one of those TVs? Also, Paulie could do anything, especially run up bills on the joint’s credit. Why not? Nobody’s gonna pay for it, anyway. As soon as the deliveries are made in the front door, you move the stuff out the back and sell it at a discount. You take a $200 case of booze and sell it for 100. Doesn’t matter. It’s all profit. And then finally, when there’s nothing left… and you can’t borrow another buck from the bank or buy another case of booze, you bust the joint out. You light a match.” — Henry Hill

“Need any help reaching anything?” — Henry Hill

“Who? No. No. All right. What? See? I knew it. I knew it. When is this? I can’t tomorrow I got to meet Tuddy. Tommy, why do you always do this? Oh, fuck! See? You with your fuckin’ mouth!” — Henry Hill

“I had a meeting with Tuddy around 11:00, and here I am, a backup guy for Tommy. I couldn’t wait to get away. I was ordering dessert when they were eating dinner. When they were having coffee, I was asking for a check. I had business. Joe, can we have the check? I gotta go. I got that thing. I got to go. Ready? We just got here. What are you doing?” — Henry Hill

“Tommy, what the fuck? Take it easy! Slow down, all right? I forgot! I thought it was next week. We can talk about this. Take it easy. I thought you were gonna stand me up. You looked bored. You didn’t say anything. What do you expect? Hmm? Let me make it up to you.” — Henry Hill

“She’s screaming on the street, I mean loud, but she looked good. She had these great eyes, just like Liz Taylor’s. At least, that’s what I thought.” — Henry Hill

“You ready? Hi. Nice to meet you. Just the good half.” — Henry Hill

“I’ll see you later. Thanks. He watches the car for me. It’s easier than leaving it at a garage. It’s a lot quicker that way. You know what I mean, huh? I like going this way. It’s better than waiting. Ha ha ha! How are you doing? Good, good. There you go. How you doing, Gino? Good. Good. Hey. Every time I come here. Every time, you two. Don’t you work? Hey, how you doing? How are you? Hey, how are you? Great. Great. Thanks.” — Henry Hill

“Tony, thanks a lot. I appreciate it. Hey, how are you guys doing? Good. Good. How are you doing? It’s all right. Thank you, Tony. Salute. What? I’m in construction. I’m a union delegate.” — Henry Hill

“Air France made me. We walked out with $420,000 without using a gun, and we did the right thing– we gave Paulie his tribute.” — Henry Hill

“35, 40, 35, 50, 60,000!” — Henry Hill

“Should I tip him? Thank you. Good to meet you. Do you know him? Morrie, you know Jimmy. You borrowed his money. Pay him! What are you going to do, fight Jimmy Conway? Give him his money and let us just get the fuck out of here. Shh! Morrie! Come on! Don’t call the cops! You’re talkin’ crazy. Stop it, will ya? Jimmy, he’s going to pay you. Ok. He’ll pay. He’ll pay. Hello. What? Karen, slow down. Where? Stay there. Don’t move.” — Henry Hill

“It’s Karen, Jimmy. What happened? Are you all right? Who did what? What did– what the fuck–” — Henry Hill

“You sure you’re all right? Huh? Why don’t you go inside and get yourself together, clean up. I swear on my fuckin’ mother, if you touch her again, you’re dead! Here. Hide this. Are you all right? Are you all right?” — Henry Hill

“What? What bag? Ha ha. Don’t worry about that. Nobody’s going to steal that here. Ok?” — Henry Hill

“Karen! You know why he’s in the can? Because of Jeannie! Because he wanted to get away from her. Let me tell you something. Nobody goes to jail unless they want to. Unless they make themselves get caught. They don’t have things organized. I’ve got things organized with these guys. You know who goes to jail? ****** stick-up men, that’s who. You know why they get caught? Because they fall asleep in the getaway car. Come on, don’t worry so much, sweetie. Come here.” — Henry Hill

“Come on. Ok, Frankie. Did you see him? Ha ha ha ha! Whoo! Ha!” — Henry Hill


Karen Hill, Goodfellas, HBO Max, Warner Bros., Lorraine Bracco

Karen Hill

Best Supporting Actress – Motion Picture

1 nomination: 1991

“Have some coffee. It’ll wake you up.”

“I couldn’t stand him. I thought he was really obnoxious. He kept fidgeting around.”

“You don’t mind, do you? That’s very annoying.”

“Before it was even time to go home, he was pushing me into the car and then pulling me out. It was ridiculous. Diane and Tommy made us promise to meet them Friday night. We agreed. Of course, when Friday night came, Henry stood me up.”

“We were a trio instead of a double date. But I made Tommy take me looking for him.”

“You got some nerve, standing me up. Nobody does that to me. Who the hell do you think you are? Frankie Valli or some big shot? It was this Friday, and you agreed! So you’re a liar! Talk to you after what you just did to me? Forget it. I’m not talking to you about anything. I’ll think about it. It’ll cost you a lot.”

“Hello, Henry. Yeah. Oh, no. Wait a minute. Quick, you have to cover that cross. My mother sees that cross… mom. I’d like you to meet Henry Hill.”

“What are you doing, leaving your car? You gave them $20 each.”

“What do you do? What do you do? They don’t feel like you’re in construction.”

“No, no, no. You have to sign for it here. Ok, Bruce. How are you? Henry, this is Bruce. Bruce, this is Henry. Yeah. He lives across the street.”

“One night, Bobby Vinton sent us champagne. There was nothing like it. I didn’t think there was anything strange in all this, you know, a 21-year-old kid with such connections. He was an exciting guy. It was really nice. He introduced me to everybody. Everybody wanted to be nice to him, and he knew how to handle it.”

“Come on, Morrie. Jimmy’s waiting. You’re past due.”

“Yeah, I’m all right. This guy who lives across the street that I’ve known all my life. He started to touch me. He started to grab me. I told him to stop. He didn’t. I hit him back, and then he got really angry. He pushed me out of the car! Yeah.”

“I know there are women, like my best friends, who would have gotten out of there the minute their boyfriend gave them a gun to hide. But I didn’t. I got to admit the truth– it turned me on.”

“It was like he had 2 families. The first time I was introduced to all of them at once, it was crazy. Paulie and his brothers had lots of sons and nephews and almost all of them were named Peter or Paul. It was unbelievable. There must have been 2 dozen Peters and Pauls at the wedding. Plus, they were all married to girls named Marie. They named all their daughters Marie. By the time I finished meeting everybody, I thought I was drunk.”

“Paulie, you shouldn’t have. Thanks. Hi. The bag. The bag with all the envelopes and money. Ok. Yeah.”

“He’s with his friends. Ma, he’s a grownup. He doesn’t have to call every 5 minutes. Oy! Don’t start. Mom, you’re the one who wanted us here. Ma, what do you want me to do? Daddy never went out at all, ma! Keep out of it! You don’t know how I feel! He’s with his friends! Dad!”

“Henry– mom! Mom! Tommy. Tommy. Let’s go.”

“We weren’t married to 9:00-to-5:00 guys, but the first time I realized how different was when Mickey had a hostess party. Lawrence.”

“They had bad skin and wore too much make-up. I mean, they didn’t look very good. They looked beat-up. The stuff they wore was thrown together and cheap– a lot of pantsuits and double-knits. They talked about how rotten their kids were and about beating them with broom handles and leather belts, but that the kids still didn’t pay attention. When Henry picked me up, I was dizzy.”

“I don’t know. I don’t know if I could live like that. God forbid, what would happen if you went to prison? Mickey said that Jeannie’s husband–“

“After a while, it got to be all normal. None of it seemed like crime. It was more like Henry was enterprising and that he and the guys were making a few bucks hustling while the other guys were sitting on their asses waiting for handouts. Our husbands weren’t brain surgeons. They were blue-collar guys. The only way they made extra money was to go out and cut a few corners.”

“We were all so very close. I mean, there were never any outsiders around, absolutely never. And being together all the time made everything seem all the more normal.”

“Anywhere? You boys want some coffee? All right. Just be careful. There was always a little harassment. They always wanted to talk to Henry about this or that. They’d come in with subpoenas and warrants. Mostly, they were just looking for a handout, a few bucks to keep things quiet no matter what they found.”


Tommy DeVito, Goodfellas, HBO Max, Warner Bros., Joe Pesci

Tommy DeVito

Best Supporting Actor – Motion Picture

1 nomination: 1991

“What’s up? What the fuck is that? You got a flat? What the fuck. You better pull over and see.”

“He’s still alive. You fuckin’ piece of shit. Die, you motherfucker. Look at my fuckin’ eyes! Die!”

“How you doin’, Henry? Ok. Sounds good.”

“Here you go, Henry.”

“Henry got pinched. By the factory. For selling cigarettes.”

“Frankie, Frankie, Frankie, what the fuck does 528 have to do with 460? 528 ain’t even close to 460. What the fuck has that got to do with anything?”

“What’s really funny is the bank job in Secaucus. I’m in the middle of the fuckin’ weeds, layin’ down. He says, ‘what are you doing?’ I say, ‘I’m resting.’ ‘Here you’re restin”? I know I’m restin’. I’m restin’! They pull me in. They start asking me all kinds of questions. You know, this and that. He says, ‘what are going to tell us tough guy?’ I said, ‘my usual. Zero. Nothing.’ Why tell you, you fuck? He says, ‘no, you’re going to tell me something today, tough guy.’ I said, ‘all right, I’ll tell you something. Go fuck your mother.’ Bing! Pow! You saw the paper. My hair was up like this. I’m coming around. Who do I see in front of me? This big prick again. He says, ‘what do you want to tell me now, tough guy?’ I said, ‘Bing what are you doing here? I thought I told you to go fuck your mother.’ I thought he was going to shit. Pow! Ping! Pooh! Motherfuckers! I wish I was big just once.”

“What do you mean I’m funny? You mean the way I talk, what? Funny how? What’s funny about it? Whoa, whoa, Anthony, he’s a big boy. He knows what he said. What did you say? Funny how? Let me understand you. Maybe it’s me. I’m a little fucked up. Funny like I’m a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh. I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? What do you mean, funny? Funny how? How am I funny? No, no. I don’t know. You said I’m funny. How the fuck am I funny? What the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me. Tell me what’s funny. You motherfucker! I almost had him! You stuttering prick, you! Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes! You may fold under questioning!”

“What the fuck is with you? I thought I was getting pinched over here! He’s hanging on my fuckin’ neck like a vulture. Whaddaya want? The waiter? It’s no problem. Tell him to put it on my tab. Jeez, it’s good you don’t mean to be out of order. What do you call embarrassing me in front of my friends, callin’ me a fucking deadbeat. You know, Sonny, you’re a real fuckin’ mutt. You know the money we spend in this– what do you mean don’t be like that? Do you believe this prick? You think this is funny, huh? What the fuck are you looking at? You fuckin’… you fuckin’ moron. You don’t want to bring the check. Do you believe this prick? Fuckin’ guy. You’re supposed to be doing this stuff, too, you know.”

“That’s it, Henry! You want a laugh this prick last week asked me to christen his kid. Yeah. 7,000 I charged him! That’s it! That’s it!”

“You look like you’re decorating a Christmas tree, you fuckin’ prick. You don’t know what you’re doing.”

“She’s from the Five Towers. The Jew broad, Diane, I was telling you about her inside. I’ve been trying to bang this broad for a month. Only thing she won’t go out with me alone. No what? No what? Who the fuck asked you anything? At least wait until you hear what I’m gonna say. Ok. What. She don’t want to go out with Italians alone. She’s prejudiced against Italians. Fuckin’ believe that? In this day and age. What the fuck is this world coming to? I can’t believe this. A Jew broad prejudiced against Italians. Anyway, she won’t go out with me alone unless her girlfriend comes with her. I figure you come and go with her girlfriend. Knew what? What’s wrong with that? Tomorrow night. You could meet Tuddy, fuckin’ come early and still go. Don’t give me that Tommy shit. I’m asking you for a favor. I do a lot of fuckin’ favors for you. I’m trying to bang this fuckin’ broad. You wanna help me out? I don’t understand you! What? She’s fuckin beautiful! Her fuckin’ family lives in the Five Towers. These Jew broads got a lot of money. You might wind up with a big fuckin’ score here, you motherfucker! Me?”

“Honey, you have enough to eat? Let me watch your figure for you. Whoa, whoa, where’re you going? Go where? We just got here. Wait a couple minutes. We’ll all leave together. This way you don’t go out like hobos, staggering out one at a time. It’s Anisette. Good, huh? You’d probably do better with Manischevitz, but it would look funny on my table. Henry, lighten up.”

“I feel terrible. I don’t know where he is. He really liked you, too. I hope it’s nothing serious. That’s what I’m worried about.”

“My mother’s going to get a bottle of Brioschi.”

“What’s wrong with you? You’re not normal. She’s right. What’s wrong with you, Henry? What kind of person are you? What the fuck kind of people are they?”

“Where’s the strongbox, you fuckin’ varmint? Don’t fuckin’ move! Don’t move. Here’s your hat, you fuck. I’m ridin’ shotgun. Back to the hideout and split up the loot!”

Jimmy Conway, Goodfellas, HBO Max, Warner Bros., Robert De Niro
Jimmy Conway, Goodfellas, HBO Max, Warner Bros., Robert De Niro

Jimmy Conway

“The Irishman is here to take all you guineas’ money. Seven and seven. How you doing? Pleasure. Keep it coming.”

“Give me your wallet. You might know who we are, but we know who you are.”

“Tommy, help the lady. Okay, see you later. Henry, come here. Say hello to Tommy. Youse’re gonna be working together, ok?”

“How youse doin’? Joe, Rich. You okay?”

“Congratulations. Here’s your graduation present. Everybody gets pinched, but you did it right. You told them nothing and they got nothin’. I’m not mad. I’m proud of you. You took your first pinch like a man and learned the 2 greatest things in life. Look at me. Never rat on your friends… and always keep your mouth shut.”

“How are you doing? Good to see you. Shh. Calm down. What about the security?”

“It’s going to be a good summer.”

“You got money for that fuckin’ commercial! Fuckin’ commercial– you don’t got my fuckin’ money, huh? I’ll fuckin’ kill you! Get the money, you fuckin’ cocksucker! You should be sorry. Don’t fuckin’ do it again! Gimme the money! Gimme the fuckin’ money! You hear me? I come here and you bust my balls? What happened? Today! You pay! Today!”

“Vinnie.”

Billy Batts, Goodfellas, HBO Max, Warner Bros., Frank Vincent

Billy Batts

“No, no, no, Tommy.”

Diane

“Yeah, I’m just watching my diet.”

Karen’s Mother

“Karen? How do you do? My daughter says that you’re half Jewish. Ha ha!”

“He didn’t call? What kind of a person doesn’t call? If he’s such a grownup, why doesn’t he get you two an apartment? You’re here a month, and sometimes he doesn’t come home at all. What kind of people are these? Do? What can you do? He’s not Jewish. Did you know how these people lived? Did you know what they were like? Your father never stayed out all night! Feel? How do you feel now? You don’t know where he is. You don’t know he’s with– will you leave him out of this? The man hasn’t been able to digest a decent meal in 6 weeks!”

“Where were you? Why didn’t you call? We were worried to death! A married man does not stay out like this! Normal people don’t act like this!”

The Copacabana

“Thank you, sir.”

“Hiya, Henry. How are you?”

“How come we can’t get a table?”

“Henry, how are you?”

“Salute.”

“And now, ladies and gentlemen, the Copacabana is proud to present the king of the one-liners, Henny Youngman!”

Mait’re D

“You’re table will be ready. Excuse me. Henry. How you doing? Henry, nice to see you. Hi, how are you? Anthony, right in the front. Anyhing you need, Henry, just let me know. I know you’re waiting. I’ll be right with you. Have another drink.”

“Henry, this is with Mr. Tony over there.”

Henny Youngman

“How are you? I’m glad to be here. Take my wife, please. I take my wife everywhere, but she finds her way home. I said, ‘where do you want to go for your anniversary?’ She said, ‘somewhere I’ve never been before.’ I said, ‘try the kitchen.’ Dr. Wellsler is here. A wonderful doctor. Gave a guy 6 months to live. Couldn’t pay his bill, gave him another 6 months. I love this crowd!”

Henry’s Father

“Bye. Take your lunch.”

“Did you have a good day at school? Learned a lot? You wanna tell me about this? It’s a letter from school. It says you haven’t been there in months. In months! You think you’re so smart? You’re a bum. You want to grow up to be a bum?”

Morris Kessler

“Don’t buy wigs that come off at the wrong time. Morrie’s wigs don’t come off! Even under water. Remember, Morrie’s wigs are tested against hurricane winds. Forget about the money! You can afford a Morrie wig. Priced to fit every budget. So call me now! Come in for a personalized fitting. Don’t but wigs that come off. Call Morrie’s.”

“Henry, you’re a good kid. I’ve been good to you, you’ve been good to me. But there’s something unreasonable going on. Jimmy’s being an unconscionable ball-breaker Give him 8-5 on Cleveland. I never had to pay the vigorous debt he demands. Am I something special? What am I, a schmuck on wheels? I didn’t agree to 3 points above the vig. What am I fuckin’ nuts? Hey, fuck him! Fuck him in the ear! Fuck him in the other ear, that son of a bitch! Did I ever bust his balls? Did I? Did I? I could’ve dropped a dime a million times– Morrie’s. Yeah. Who’s this? He’s here. Jimmy, I’m sorry. I’ll give you. I’ll give you. You got it. Jimmy, I’ll pay you. I’ll pay! I promise.”

“Hey, Frankie!”

Tommy’s mother

“Why don’t you be like Henry? He’s got a nice girl. He’s settling down now. He’s married. Pretty soon, he’ll have a nice family, and you’re still bouncing around from girl to girl.”

Henry’s Family

“Bye, Henry. Henry, watch how you cross! And bring back milk!”

“Don’t!”

“My God, you look like a gangster.”

Postman

“Yeah? Hey! Hey! Hey! Yeah. Yeah.”

Tuddy Cicero

“How are you? How are you? Hey, Junior, here.”

“This is for your mother and sister. Make sure you give ’em to her.”

“Tell him 519.”

“What do you mean you can’t make any more deliveries? You’re gonna fuck everything up. Come on with me.”

“Know this kid? You know where he lives? Deliver mail to his house? From now on any letter from that school to that kid’s house comes directly here, you understand? If another letter from that school goes to that kid’s house, in the fuckin’ oven you’re gonna go and head first!”

“Mikey called. Want me to call him back? You got a nickel? Get him on the phone.”

“Henry, shut the door! Jesus! Can’t have that in here. Jesus Christ, I can’t have that in this joint. You’re a real jerk. You wasted 8 fuckin’ aprons on this guy. What the hell’s wrong with you? We gotta toughen this kid up.”

“Where?”

“All right. Listen, here’s what we do, Johnny…”

Paul Cicero

“Make the call. Go ahead.”

“You want a drink? Jimmy, I’d like you to meet the kid Henry.”

“Hey, there he is! Here he is! Oh, you broke your cherry! Congratulations, kid!”

“You think you’re the only one? I talk to them a million times. They don’t listen. If there was something I could do, don’t you think I would do it? You know. I’d like to help you out. What? What are you talking about? The restaurant?”

“I’m begging you. What can I say? What does he want from me? I don’t know nothing about the restaurant business, nothing. All I know is how to sit and order. I don’t know how to make a restaurant. Look, what do you want from me? Tommy’s a bad kid, he’s a bad seed. What am I supposed to do, shoot him? You know anything about this fuckin’ restaurant business? You want me to be your partner? That’s what you’re tryin’ to tell me? This is not even fair. All right, you run the joint. Maybe I’ll try to help you out.”

“Fantastic. I’m proud of you. That is a lot of money for a kid like you. If anybody asks, you got it in Vegas playing craps. Yeah? All right. Yeah? Ha ha ha!”

“Meet Paulie Jr., my nephew. This is Petey. This is Marie. This is Marie. And this is Pete– no, I mean Paulie. I get confused myself.”

Cigarette Lady

“Thanks, Jimmy. I’ll be back for the rest later.”

Cop

“Hey, Jimmy, you got anything good? Jimmy, I’d complain, but who’d listen?”

Cigarette customers

“Give me one pall mall. I’ll take 2 Luckies. Thanks. One Pall Mall.”

Cops

“Whoa, whoa, what are you doing? What, you got permission from your mother? What? Where did you get those cigarettes? Get him outta here. It’s not ok. You don’t understand. Store’s closed!”

Judge

“Henry Hill. The people of the state of New York vs. Henry Hill. Docket number 704162. Counselor, proceed.”

Henry’s Lawyer

“Come on. Just stand there. Now, stay there.”

Trucker

“Hey, you got a phone? Come on! Two ******* just stole my truck! You fuckin’ believe that?”

Pool

“Check, sir.”

Bruce

“Hi, Karen. Hi. How you doing? I’m ok. I’ll see you around later.”

“What do you want, fucko? You want some?”

Bruce’s Homies

“Oh! Aah! Shit! What are you doing? Oh! Aah! Ohh! Don’t shoot!”

Anthony Stabile

“Hey, how are you doing?”

“Tommy, you got it all wrong.”

Frankie Carbone

“Che dice? Come se va.”

“I can never hit that number. I’ve been playing that number for 3 years.”

“Hey, Morrie, listen…”

“Get in the fucking car. See you guys at the diner.”

Fat Andy

“How are you doing, buddy?”

Frankie the Wop

“Are you staying out of trouble?”

Pete the Killer

“I took care of that thing for ya.”

Nickey Eyes

“What’s up, guy?”

Mikey Franceze

“I saw that guy. Yeah, I wanna see him.”

Jimmy Two Times

“I’m going to go get the papers, get the papers.”

Sonny Bunz

“What is this? Coats? I need suits, Henry, not coats. I know, but this is the middle of the fuckin’ summer. What am I gonna do with fur coats? No, no, no, don’t take ’em away. I want them. You know what we’ll do? We’ll hang ’em in the freezer with the meat. How’s that?”

“This guy’s worried. He didn’t want to come over and give the check. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. It’s 7 fuckin’ big ones here. 7 fuckin’ Gs you owe me. $7,000 ain’t peanuts. I don’t mean to be out of order– come on, don’t be like that, Tommy.”

“I’m worried. I mean, I’m hearing all kinds of fuckin’ bad things. He’s treating me like I’m half a ***. I’ve got to go on the lam to get away from this guy? This ain’t right. I can’t go here, I can’t go there– if you tell him, he’ll stop. I’m gonna wind up declared an M.I.A. They’ll find me in the back of a car somewhere, in the weeds? You know this fuckin’ Tommy all your life. This cocksucker’s an arch criminal. When I leave my house, before I get to the car, I’m looking over both shoulders. This is no way to live. I’m no fence-jumper. I’m around you all my life. Tell me what I gotta do. Whatever the fuck I gotta do, I’ll do.”

“Paulie, maybe you could come in with me, take a piece of this fuckin’ joint. Yeah. This is a classy place. Look at the layout. You been here a million times. You know what it looks like. Tommy taking over this fuckin’ joint is like putting a silk hat on a pig. I don’t mean no disrespect. I know you’re his friend. Not for you. Just a place to hang. The chef is great. The fuckin’ shows are good. A lot of whores come in. It wouldn’t be a bad idea. I’m sorry I said that. I didn’t mean to say that. I just mean he’s scaring me. I just– I need help. Help me, please. He’s in the joint 24 hours a day. Another fuckin’ few minutes, he could be a stool. That’s how often he’s in there. Yeah. What the fuck do you think I’m talking about, Paulie? Please. C’mon. You don’t understand. God bless you, Paulie. I appreciate it.”

“Fuckin’ shame.”

Frenchy

“Hey, Henry. Piece of cake. It’s all there. Don’t worry about the alarms. Just gotta find a way to get the key. Too good to be true. Ha ha! Big score coming in from Air France. Bags of money like this comin’ in from tourists and American servicemen who changed their money over into French money, sent it back here. It’s beautiful. It’s totally, totally untraceable, ok? This guy’s a piece of work. If I’m right, there could be half a mil coming in, all cash. We got the Jewish holiday on Monday. They won’t find out till Tuesday. Beautiful. Security? You’re looking at it. It’s a joke. I’m the midnight-8:00 man. I’m the commandant. He just comes in like he’s picking up lost baggage with Tommy D. It’s beautiful. We’re on.”

Wedding

“Mazel Tov!”

“She looks Italian. Yeah, you’re right. She’s such a beautiful bride. Welcome to the family, honey.”

“Sunday dinner? So beautiful. I want to cry. Here’s a little something to help you get started.”

Wives

“Karen, where are you from? Lawrence. Out on the island. That’s nice. I’m from Miami. You ever been there? It’s ok, but it’s like you died and woke up in Jew heaven.”

“Stop picking at that thing. I’d like to smack his face. The red-haired guy looks like a farmer? I can’t get through the gate without his hands all over me. So I said, ‘keep your fuckin’ hands off me or I’ll cut ’em off.’ She means it. He don’t know how lucky he is. I just mention this to Vinnie… how can you mention it? Vinnie would kill him. He’ll kill the miserable bastard, then Vinnie’ll be there for life. Think you got problems? What about Jeannie’s kid? He was in an argument, a lousy $10 card game. He pulls out a gun. The gun goes off. Some kid gets killed. When the grandmother hears, finds out he’s in jail, she has a heart attack, drops dead right on the spot. Now Jeannie has a husband and son in jail and a mother in the funeral parlor. Hey, you know Jeannie drinks. Maybe she’s depressed. Depressed? She’s drunk. As soon as something happens, you automatically make them out to be saints. She spends her life in a nightgown. The woman is no angel, believe me.”

Trucker 2

“Easy. Take it easy. All right. All right. Take it easy.”

Detectives

“Hello, Mrs. Hill. I’m detective Deacy. This is detective Silvestri. We’ve got a search warrant for the premise. Could you sign it? Yeah. Anywhere. It’s going to take a while. No. Thanks, anyway. We’ll go about our business.”

The Cab Stand

“Good, good, good. Good to see you, Frankie. Hey, Dr. Dan, how you doing? Hey. Hey. Could this be the Canarsie kid? Good, good. Minghia, Tuddy. Hello, Paulie. It’s your fault. You started it. I started it? It’s your fault.”

“Is that him there, kid? How about him? Get him. Excuse me. Scum bag.”

“Yeah, yeah. All right, right. Just like this. What a dog.”

“They shot me! Help!”


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