Coming 2 America, Amazon Prime Video, Eddie Murphy Productions, Misher Films, New Republic Pictures, Paramount Pictures

Royal Family

Amazon Prime Video original film Coming 2 America dropped last Friday March 12, 2021.

πŸ‘‘πŸ˜#Coming2America is the sequel to a 1988 film.


rottentomatoes: 50%

metacritic: 52

imdb: 5.4



Prince Akeem, Coming 2 America, Amazon Prime Video, Eddie Murphy Productions, Misher Films, New Republic Pictures, Paramount Pictures, Eddie Murphy
Prince Akeem, Coming 2 America, Amazon Prime Video, Eddie Murphy Productions, Misher Films, New Republic Pictures, Paramount Pictures, Eddie Murphy

Prince Akeem Joffer

King Akeem looks to groom a successor for the throne of Zamunda, Africa.

Prince Akeem, Coming 2 America, Amazon Prime Video, Eddie Murphy Productions, Misher Films, New Republic Pictures, Paramount Pictures, Eddie Murphy

“Yes, Meeka. It is our anniversary. Today, we celebrate 30 years of Zamundan prosperity, 30 years of service to our great nation and 30 years of delicious fast food. So there’s no meat? So delicious.” — Prince Akeem

“I am the heir to the throne of Zamunda. I shall not be shamed by my two daughters. Semmi, perhaps you would like to spar with my daughters and teach them some combinations. It is my daughters that teach me in the languages of the modern world. For instance, are my princely robes on fleek? Really? I rather enjoyed being on fleek. I will talk to father alone. And how is my father today? Oh, then he must be feeling better.” — Prince Akeem

“Many thanks for your well wishes, General Izzi, but as you know, my father still breathes. Why have you come here, General? Imani, always a pleasure. General, throughout the years, we have tried to help Nexdoria many times. I would like nothing more than to help your country relieve its burden of poverty. Zamunda can only afford so much. I do not think that he and Meeka will ever happen. Ever. Thank you for your visit, General. Seeing you brings to mind all of my father’s favorite curses for you. To call you a shit stain brought him much joy.” — Prince Akeem

“Baba. Yes, Father. A male heir. Once again, I apologize to you for all the shame and disappointment that my offspring’s genetic makeup has caused you. That is impossible. The only woman I have ever lain with is Lisa. Father, I did not sow my royal oats. Yes.” — Prince Akeem

“This is not what happened, father. I remember meeting this morally bereft woman, but there was no inappropriate mating. She offered me some of her ceremonial herbs. And then, if memory serves, a wild boar burst into the room. It came and jumped into my lap. And then it began to ram me. And ram me and ram me, ramming and ramming! And a foul… you fool, what have you done to me?! So I actually have a son? Why was his existence hidden from me all these years?” — Prince Akeem

“The weak one? Am I the weak one? This is madness. If my family were to ever find out about this… easy, my father. Yeah, it will, Papa. It shall be glorious. Yes, my father. Come now, Father. Everything is going to be… Father?” — Prince Akeem

“I just lost the greatest man in my life. Soon, Nexdorian warriors will assassinate me. And I have a child on the other side of the world. Prepare the royal jet. We are going back to America. Now, I will find this bastard of Queens, and I will look into his eyes, and if I see the strength of our ancestors, I shall know he is of my blood. Then he must come back to Zamunda and take the princely test. Heir to the throne of Zamunda, born in America… …land of opportunity. What kind of man do you think he is? This bastard?” — Prince Akeem

“Yes, but some things have not. It is so good to see you. Your neighborhood seems to be thriving. I’m so sorry you can no longer indiscriminately touch a woman’s body at your every whim. I am actually here with a purpose. I have just discovered that I may have a bastard son here in this land, conceived during my last visit. My son has been without a father for far too long. ‘Follow the thunderbird.'” — Prince Akeem

“Semmi, look. It is my potential bastard son. Hello. No, thank you. I am King Akeem Joffer, king of Zamunda. And I believe that you… what is your name? …Lavelle Junson, are the heir to the throne of Zamunda. My firstborn child and my only son. Yes, my son. Yes, it’s, uh, very good to see you again… Mary. Mary. I’ve come back to my son. To have him take his rightful place on the throne. Please. It is the boy’s birthright. I’m only giving him an opportunity to have a better life.” — Prince Akeem

“We are only offering to take Lavelle back to Zamunda. So be it. Inform General Izzi that I have retrieved my son from America.” — Prince Akeem


Semmi, Coming 2 America, Amazon Prime Video, Eddie Murphy Productions, Misher Films, New Republic Pictures, Paramount Pictures, Arsenio Hall

Semmi

“Behold! Prince Akeem in his natural element, cowering at the mercy of the women in his life. No doubt, you are their best teacher, Your Majesty. Your father has sent for you. He has an urgent matter to discuss with you. He has already ordered my execution three times. Oh, here we go. Please don’t leave us so soon, Your Highness. Zamunda needs you. Hmm? Remember in Queens, night after night, you were looking for the perfect woman? Well, I too was– how can I say this? I was looking for the perfect vagina. Or any vagina.”

“We scoured the far reaches of that loathsome city, searching rather unsuccessfully for the woman of your dreams. I am going to mingle. I had had enough. And I realized, if I was ever going to sow my oats on American soil, I was going to need to find someone to take care of you. But don’t worry, I never broke our oath of keeping our identity a secret.”

“Yes, a prince. But he cannot know that you know who he is. We are undercover Africans. I may not have been thinking straight. In my defense, it had been weeks since the last time I was tended to by the royal bathers. But at the time, it seemed like a good plan. Follow the thunderbird?”

“Take heart in your grief. You are king now. Be as your father. Bark orders at me. Throw things at me. It will make you happy. Oh, hell no, Your Majesty! If he has Joffer blood running through his veins, I’m sure he’s destined for greatness.”

“Much has changed in Queens. America has certainly changed since our last visit. Your Black president finally united this great country. Akeem is now an African king. The king pays no child support. ‘Follow the thunderbird.'”

“Akeem. You are king of Zamunda. Your noble visage is known around the world. You cannot stroll down the street like we did years ago. He is not a prince anymore. He is our king. My mistake.”


General Izzi, Coming 2 America, Amazon Prime Video, Eddie Murphy Productions, Misher Films, New Republic Pictures, Paramount Pictures, Wesley Snipes

General Izzi

“Prince Akeem. Whoa, look at you. My condolences this day for your father, the king. Barely, but for how long? 30 years ago, you left my sister at the altar. Now look at she. If you had married her, our countries would be united, putting an end to decades of suffering for all our people. I did not come here for money. I came here for blood. But not the murder kind. No, no, no, family blood. Marriage blood, yes? Has your daughter considered the proposal from my son? There is Bopoto, my daughter. Perhaps your son can be… uh, ay… but you don’t have one. The shame must be unbearable, as a man, as a king, without an heir with a nut sack. I advise you to reconsider my offer. It is better to be bound by blood and marriage than be divided by blood and war. Eh? Hey!”


King Jaffe Joffer, Coming 2 America, Amazon Prime Video, Eddie Murphy Productions, Misher Films, New Republic Pictures, Paramount Pictures, James Earl Jones

King Jaffe Joffer

“My time has come, my son. You must heed my words before I’m gone. Oh, shut up, Semmi! You don’t have to suck up to me anymore. I’ll be dead soon. Why couldn’t it be you, Semmi? The throne must pass to a male heir. My son, it appears your shortcomings in masculinity have turned out to be unfounded. It is true. You have a son, Akeem. Semmi! Tell Akeem the truth at once.”

“Go on, son. Just kill him. I was hoping that you would put a stem on an apple of your own. I spoiled you, my son. You are not strong or ruthless as I am. You will be assassinated. Month, tops. You will be safe. Our people will be safe. It is the only way. You must. The end is near. My funeral… should be spectacular. Let’s have it now while I’m alive.”

“Oh. Son. Remember what I told you. I’m going to die now.”


Cleo McDowell, Coming 2 America, Amazon Prime Video, Eddie Murphy Productions, Misher Films, New Republic Pictures, Paramount Pictures, John Amos

Cleo McDowell

“We want to welcome you all to McDowell’s Zamunda. The McDowell’s menu is in no way influenced by the McDonald’s menu. They’ve got Egg McMuffins. We’ve got Egg McStuffins. And it’s all part of my lovely granddaughter’s campaign to reduce our, uh… our what? Pepsi, the official soft drink of McDowell’s Zamunda.”

Lisa Joffer, Coming 2 America, Amazon Prime Video, Eddie Murphy Productions, Misher Films, New Republic Pictures, Paramount Pictures, Shari Headley

Princess Lisa Joffer

“Good morning, Tinashe. Good morning, Omma.”

Tinashe Joffer, Coming 2 America, Amazon Prime Video, Eddie Murphy Productions, Misher Films, New Republic Pictures, Paramount Pictures, Akiley Love

Tinashe Joffer

“Good morning, Mother and Father.”

“Three daughters!”

Omma Joffer, Coming 2 America, Amazon Prime Video, Eddie Murphy Productions, Misher Films, New Republic Pictures, Paramount Pictures, Bella Murphy

Omma Joffer

“Good morning, Mother and Father.”

“Carbon footprint. Maybe he needs a nap. Oh, my God, Father. To be on fleek is no more.”

Meeka Joffer, Coming 2 America, Amazon Prime Video, Eddie Murphy Productions, Misher Films, New Republic Pictures, Paramount Pictures, KiKi Layne

Meeka Joffer

“Good morning, Mother and Father, and happy anniversary.”

“You look tired, Father. Yeah! Tell me, Semmi, this urgent matter– does it concern my marriage to a suitor who shall one day sit on the throne of Zamunda?”

Oha

“Prince Akeem! Nexdorian soldiers! I could not stop. They are coming.”

Maurice

“We are also celebrating the arrival of our new Beyond Big Mick Burger! And without using any animal by-products. It’s just good old-fashioned grass. There’s no meat. Beautiful, leafy taste. Maybe it wuld taste much better with a… Pepsi.”

Nexdorian Lieutenant

“Presenting the supreme leader of Nexdoria, the conqueror of counties and hearts… …the wrestler of lions, the tamer of elephants, the inspiration for Mufasa… …the most well-endowed man in Africa, General… Izzi.”

Idi Izzi

“Hey, Prince-o. My fellow player. Hey! Yes.”

Baba

“Yes, Your Majesty. His life is far too worthless. His death would make me smile. I seen it in a vision. You gots a son. A bastard son.”

“Kill him! A bastard son. The royal artist made a sketch of my vision. this is your bastard. Hear me, Prince Akeem. General Izzi, he will use the passing of our great king as a sign to attack the weak one. Within a week. Prince Akeem, follow the thunderbird. It will take you to your boy.”

Peaches

“β™ͺ My name is Peaches, and I’m the best β™ͺ All the DJ’s want to feel my breast. β™ͺ”

Arsenio character?

“I’ve been watching you all evening, and I want to tear you apart. And your friend, too.”

Zamundan 1

“Zamunda!”

Mary Junson, Coming 2 America, Amazon Prime Video, Eddie Murphy Productions, Misher Films, New Republic Pictures, Paramount Pictures, Leslie Jones

Mary Junson

“A prince? Africans undercover. Oh, that’s good, baby. You ain’t got to lie like that to get some of this ass. But you know what? I’ll bump uglies with your homeboy. Just let me throw up real quick, and, uh… adn then we can, you know, get it crackin’.”

“Mmm. I hope you like, uh, pumpkin pie. ‘Cause you gonna get a whole slice. Princey.”

“Are you putting the candles on the cake? 31 candles. I need 31 candles on that cake. What do you mean, only ten? Why is there only ten? It’s your nephew’s birthday. Look, just please try to make 31 candles. Cut the candles in half. Happy birthday! Hey, baby, happy birthday! Oh, my God. My African. I told you he was gonna come back! Boy, why you ain’t tell me you was bringing company? I would’ve cleaned up. I definitely know this man. I know this man all the way live. You know, I know this man all up in the crevice. Oh. Okay, baby. All right. You know what? That’s right. Y’all was doing that little weak pickup game. I think he was supposed to be, like, the prince or something. Oh, he’s a king now. Oh, okay, King. So, you still got that smooth… scepter? Father? Boy… mm. Oh, boy, yeah, that might… he might be. He does… y’all know I was a ho, though, right? Y’all know I was out in these streets? I wasn’t selling it. I should’ve been selling it. ‘Cause I was giving it away, for sure. Hmm? Wait a minute. Wait. Oh, my God. Ooh. Are those coins? Are those gold bars? There’s cash.”

“Amen! Okay, so do I get my own hut with my private shaman? So be it. Okay, baby. It all sucks! Y’all can have it.”

Livia

“Oh, well, there’s only ten in the pack, so… that’s just 20. It’s… happy birthday! Virgin? Not our Mary. Mary. Mary. Exactly. do the right thing. Go ahead, boy. Hey, Mary, you just gonna leave? I mean, what about all your stuff?”

Morgan Freeman, Coming 2 America, Amazon Prime Video, Eddie Murphy Productions, Misher Films, New Republic Pictures, Paramount Pictures

Morgan Freeman

“In the beginning, the universe began. Stars, planets, all the visible objects in the universe came to be with a single purpose: to prepare the way for the grandest creation of all, the birth of Jaffe Joffer. But today, we gather for a moment or two to give much respect due to the king who made a difference in our world. Zamundans, I give you… En Vogue. And now… Satl-N-Pepa!”

“With the passing of the great king, the world changed forever. When he died, no one ever smiled again. Vacations were canceled. Holidays ignored. Our great king had gone away forever. Gladys Knight.”

Cindy Herron, Coming 2 America, Amazon Prime Video, Eddie Murphy Productions, Misher Films, New Republic Pictures, Paramount Pictures

Cindy Herron

“β™ͺ Yea, ooh β™ͺ What a king, what a king, what a king β™ͺ What a mighty good king β™ͺ He’s a might, mighty good king… β™ͺ What a mighty good king β™ͺ So good, so good, so good β™ͺ What a king, what a king, what a king β™ͺ What a mighty good king. β™ͺ”

Backup Singers

“β™ͺ What a king β™ͺ What a king, what a king β™ͺ What a mighty good king β™ͺ I’m-a say it again now β™ͺ Yeah, ooh β™ͺ”

Cuzzo

“Cuzzo! Happy birthday! A king? In one of them Fashion Nova dresses.”

Cuzzo 2

“Happy birthday, cuz! She ain’t no virgin. You know that. You was a ho.”

Salt-N-Pepa

“β™ͺ My king is smooth like Barack, but his voice got bass β™ͺ A Michael B. body with a Denzel face β™ͺ Boss moves like Hov, face on his own money β™ͺ He’s good in every hood, and he’s got his own country β™ͺ He’s lookin’ like a meal every time I see him β™ͺ A lover and a leader, other kings couldn’t be him β™ͺ He dresses like a dapper don, but even in jeans β™ͺ He’s a godsent original, the king of my dreams β™ͺ What a king β™ͺ What king, what a king, what a king β™ͺ”

Gladys Knight

“β™ͺ He’s leaving… β™ͺ He’s leaving β™ͺ Leaving β™ͺ On that midnight train β™ͺ From Zamunda β™ͺ Leaving on that midnight train β™ͺ Yes, he is β™ͺ Said he’s going up β™ͺ Up, up, up, up β™ͺ Going up to that great β™ͺ Sahara in the sky… β™ͺ Oh, yes, he is… β™ͺ Oh, please, don’t leave us β™ͺ Take us instead β™ͺ Take us on that midnight train β™ͺ From Zamunda β™ͺ Take us on the midnight sun β™ͺ From Zamunda β™ͺ Ooh β™ͺ ‘Cause this nation’s only hope β™ͺ Next ruler of this land β™ͺ Is a son who can’t have a son β™ͺ Of his own β™ͺ What’s even the point? β™ͺ There’s not even a point β™ͺ Sad, sad, sad. β™ͺ”

Lavelle Junson, Coming 2 America, Amazon Prime Video, Eddie Murphy Productions, Misher Films, New Republic Pictures, Paramount Pictures, Jermaine Fowler

Lavelle Junson

“I just want to look employable. Why not? I got sales experience. I can’t do this shit no more, man. I really can’t. This hand-to-mouth shit, it’s got to stop, all right? I got to get solid. I’m in my 30s now. Today! Today. Today is my birthday. And you forgot. Present.”

“I do know smartphones. I know technology, all right? I’m well-versed in emerging trends. And I’ll tell you this, too. If you hire me, I won’t let you down. So, uh, give me a chance Mr. Duke. All right. I’m calling you Calvin. Well, yeah, see I was three credits short from getting my, uh, business degree, but then my mom got laid off, and, uh, you know, I had to, uh, drop out to help with the rent. What? No, man. My dad was not in the picture. Do they say that? Who? The Science Guy. No more of a disadvantage than having a father who handed you your position. So you’re saying Daddy never donated a building to get you into an Ivy League school? And Daddy never had to sneak you into an overpriced rehab facility to cover up a cocaine addiction, Calvin? Kiss my ass, Calvin. Hey, you know something? You’ve been judging me since I walked in here. Which sucks because I am so motivated. You know what, I-I just can’t wait for them to find blackface photos of you from the office party. Peace, Calvin.”

“Hey! Come on, y’all! I got five! I got five! I got five tickets to the Middle Tennessee game tonight! Come on, y’all! Come on, y’all! You want it, I got it! Hey, I got five… hey, I got five tickets to the Middle Tennessee State game, man. Come on, yo. What better way to spend your night than paying to watch unpaid student athletes? Come on, Middle Tennessee State. Come on, y’all. They got a seven-foot-five center. Catch him before his knees pop. You want some tickets, man? It’s Lavelle. Lavelle Junson. Uh-huh. So you now this man? Mary. Like the Virgin. Hey. No. Nobody want to hear that on my birthday. Yo, mom, for real, is this dude my father? No. Hey, man, for real, look. I don’t know who you think you are, but I’m-a tell you who I am, man. I’m Lavelle Junson, a’ight? And I don’t need no handout.”

“Hey, yo, uh, you know, I’m thinking, who am I to say no to becoming a prince? Ma, pack your bags, man. We out. Uh-uh. Ain’t happening like that, man. I’m not hopping on some plane, flying across the world without my mother. All right? She coming. So be it. And so it is. A’ight. I’ma-a go pack.”

Uncle Reem, Coming 2 America, Amazon Prime Video, Eddie Murphy Productions, Misher Films, New Republic Pictures, Paramount Pictures, Tracy Morgan

Uncle Reem

“You think you look respectable? Ain’t nobody gonna hire you over all these Mitt-Romney-looking-ass ********. Which reminds me– St. John’s is at the Garden. Now, I want you to take these tickets up there. Sell ’em at full freight until tip-off. Since when? Listen to me, young Jedi, okay? What you need to do is learn to relax. I’m your uncle. You stay on the ground with me. You dig it, son? Don’t use whit voice.”

“‘Cause I did not have enough change left over to get another pack of candles. Happy birthday! Ain’t nothing happening. Zamunda, Wakanda, Connecticut– I don’t know where you from. But I’ve been a force in this boy’s life since he was born. Y’all know my PlayStation ain’t going nowhere.”

Job Interview

“Uh, L. Junson.”

MSG attendee 1

“No.”

Mr. Duke, Coming 2 America, Amazon Prime Video, Eddie Murphy Productions, Misher Films, New Republic Pictures, Paramount Pictures, Colin Jost

Mr. Duke

“That’s really inspiring. Oh, my God, please. My father is Mr. Duke. Uh, and my, uh, grandfather and great-uncle, who founded Duke & Duke. Uh, please just call me Calvin. I noticed here, under education, that– did it say that you-you didn’t graduate college? Is she addicted to drugs or… she have gambling issues or… pops, uh, in the picture or… ah. You know, I went to boarding school, so there were months where I didn’t see my parents, except for breaks, and, uh, it can be hard. I mean, I’ve read a lot of studies that say that not having a dominant male figure at home, it’s so detrimental to a child. Yeah, they say that. Scientists. Bill Nye did a… your guy, uh, Neil deGrasse Tyson. Do you think that not having that kind of male role model could put you at a disadvantage? ‘Handed?’ I-I was not handed anything. No. Yeah. Well, there was a small off-campus library. It was oxy, and my mom took me. I was Will Smith’s Aladdin, okay? There was blueface over the black…”

Clarence, Coming 2 America, Amazon Prime Video, Eddie Murphy Productions, Misher Films, New Republic Pictures, Paramount Pictures, Eddie Murphy

Clarence

“Floyd ‘Money’ Mayweather ain’t shit! Yeah, ’cause he had to do that for the blacks. In this political climate, Black man can’t be taking no ass-whipping from no white man. Would’ve caused a riot. I was ready to riot anyway. I wanted to get one of them flat-screen TVs. Well, I’ll be damned! Look who done come up in here. Famine and Blood Diamond. Hey. Oh, oh, oh, oh. That’s too much, man. You stepped over the line, now. We don’t be talking that kind of shit about the hungry babies. You gonna have to get out of my chair talking that kind of shit. Oh, that’s that gentrification. You know, when the colored man here, this neighborhood didn’t have shit. When the white man move in, they got their coffeehouses and their dog parks, and my brownstone on Foch Boulevard is worth $10 million. My brownstone is, too, worth $10 million! And I’m gonna sell it and get me a Tesla. Yeah, but it’s all gone to hell now. We all gonna die. Just don’t know how. Well, I’ll be damned. You got any kids? I got kids. In fact, I got one granddaughter used to be my grandson. They can turn your penis into a vagina now. It’s science. Oh, it’s okay. I got it in when I was young. So what you doing back here, Idiot Amin? He scalp tickets over at Madison Square Garden. He probably over there right now working the St. John’s game. Oh, hell no, it ain’t. It’s a thunderbird.”

Morris, Coming 2 America, Amazon Prime Video, Eddie Murphy Productions, Misher Films, New Republic Pictures, Paramount Pictures, Arsenio Hall

Morris

“He beat that Filipino boy ass. ‘Pack-a-quando,’ ‘pack-a-monda.’ Wh-whatever his name is, he beat that boy ass, Clarence. Nelson Mandela and Winnie. Politically incorrect. Mm-hmm. Get up and whip him, Sweets. Take your ass out of here. You buy you a Flowbee and cut your own damn hair from now on. I bet they could fix them long, sloppy titties y’all got in Africa. No child support for 30 years, and you came back? You’s a dummy! I’ve seen him. Their mascot is a big turkey.”

Saul, Coming 2 America, Amazon Prime Video, Eddie Murphy Productions, Misher Films, New Republic Pictures, Paramount Pictures, Eddie Murphy

Saul

“And he beat that meshuggener Conor McGregor, the Irishman. Hey, it’s Kunta Kinte and Ebola. Whoa, whoa. Right now I could rip a new ass in that kid. It’s gonna be the Nazis. Nazis are back, but now they dress like the Best Buy Geek Squad and they want to kill people. Anybody could be a Nazi. You ever notice that, Prince? You can’t even squeeze a tit nowadays. It’ll get you fired. That’s the kid that’s always out front of the Garden.”

Nice Man

“Those hungry babies with the flies on their face.”

Sweets

“Somebody need to whip your ass. Your brownstone ain’t worth no ten million. The long arm of the family court bring ’em back every time. How much child support she getting from you?”



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