Paramount+ original film Transformers was released July 3rd, 2007.
#Transformers hauled in $709.7M at the international box office.
rottentomatoes: 57%
metacritic: 61
imdb: 7.0
Samuel Witwicky
Sam Witwicky discovers a group of alien robots in South Gate, California.
“Sorry, I got a lot of stuff. Okay. For my family– okay. Um… so, for my family genealogy report, I decided to do it on my great-great-grandfather, who was a famous man, Captain Archibald Witwicky. Very famous explorer. In fact, he was one of the first to explore the Arctic Circle, which is a big deal. In 1897… he took 41 brave sailors straight into the Arctic Shelf. So that’s the story, right? And here we have some of the basic instruments and tools used by 19th-century seamen. This here is the quadrant, which you can get for 80 bucks. It’s all for sale, by the way. Like the, uh, sextant here. Fifty dollars for this, which is a bargain. These are pretty cool. These are my grandfather’s glasses. I haven’t quite gotten them appraised yet, but they’ve seen many cool things. I know. I’m sorry. I just, you know, this is all going towards my car fund. You can tell your folks. It’s on eBay. I take PayPal. Cold hard cash works, too. And… and the compass makes uh, a great gift for Columbus Day. Sorry. Um… unfortunately, my great-great-grandfather, the genius that he was, wound up going blind and crazy in a psycho ward, drawing these strange symbols and babbling on about some, uh, giant ice man that he thought he’d discovered. Here, you want? Here, 50. Forty? Thirty? Yeah. Sorry, sorry. Okay. Pretty good, right? A B-? No, kids enjoy… look, can you do me a favor? Can you look out the window for a second? See my father? He’s the guy in the green car. Okay, I wanna tell you about a dream. A boy’s dream. And a man’s promise to that boy. He looked at me in the eye. He said, ‘son, I’m gonna buy you a car.’ ‘But I want you to bring me 2,000 dollars and three As.’ Okay? I got the 2,000 and I got two As. Okay? Here’s the dream. Your B-. Dream gone. Kaput. Sir, just ask yourself, what would Jesus do?” — Sam Witwicky
“Yes! Yes, yes. A-. It’s an A, though. So, I’m good? What kind of surprise? No. No, no, no, no, no. Dad! Oh, you gotta be kidding me. You think that’s funny? What’s wrong with you? I don’t want to talk to you for the rest of this whole thing. It’s not a funny joke. Here? No, what is this? You said… you said half a car, not half a piece of crap, Dad. Let me explain something to you. Okay? You ever see 40-Year-Old Virgin? Okay, that’s what this is. And this is 50-year-old Virgin. You want me to live that life? Hmm? Yeah, no victory. You know, I got it. The old Witwicky motto, Dad. I had to. Sam. This ain’t bad. This one’s got racing stripes. Feels good. Yeah, but the paint’s faded. It’s custom faded? No, no, no. You said cars pick their drivers. No, I don’t want a Fiesta with racing stripes.” — Sam Witwicky
“All right, Mojo. I got the car. Now, I need the girl. I need money to take out the girl is what I need. Zero bids. Great. Broke. Come on, Mojo. You want your pain pills? No. Premature. Good. What’s up? Nothing. You know, just driving my car. Driving my car. Ah! Ah! Ah! It’s like clockwork. All right, I know you get wasted on these things, but if you piss in my bed again, you’re sleeping outside. Okay? That’s it for today. No more. Crackhead.” — Sam Witwicky
“What? What foot… there’s no footprints. It’s family grass, Dad. Okay? This… this… I can’t do it anymore. You’re putting girl jewelry on a boy dog. He’s got enough self-esteem issues as a Chihuahua, Mom. Yeah, all right. Of course, Miles. It’s a lake. It’s public property. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, dude, Mikaela’s here. Just don’t do anything weird, all right? I’m good, right? Okay. We’re here to climb this tree. Yeah. Oh, no, no, that… no. That wasn’t like a real tryout. I was researching a book I was writing. Yeah. No, it’s about the link between brain damage and football. No, it’s… it’s a good book. Your friends’ll love it. You know, it’s got mazes in it and, you know, little coloring areas, sections, pop-up pictures. It’s a lot of fun. You got to get out of the tree right now. Get… just get out of the tree right now, please. What are you doing? You’re making me look like an idiot. We both looked like idiots. I’m gonna drive her home tonight. She lives ten miles from here, okay? It’s my only chance. You gotta be understanding here, all right? Did you say, ‘put her in the back?’ I’m not putting her in the back. You gotta get out right now. What rules? Miles, I’m begging you to get out of my car. Okay? You gotta get out of my car right now.” — Sam Witwicky
“Mikaela! It’s Sam. Witwicky. I hope I didn’t get you stranded or anything. You sure? So, listen, I was wondering if I could ride you home. I mean, give you a ride home in my car, to your house. There you go. So, uh… you can duck down if you want. I mean, it won’t hurt my feelings. Oh. Big arms? Well, uh, there’s a couple new additions in the car. Like, I just put in that light there. And that disco ball. And so the light reflects off the disco ball. Yeah. Oh, no, no. Uh, we’ve been in the same school since first grade. Yeah. Yeah, a long time. Oh, yeah, yeah. History. Language arts. Math. Science. Sam. Yeah. Witwicky. Yeah. No, it’s cool. Yeah, well, I mean, that’s understandable. No, no, no. No. Come on. Sorry, I’m just working out the kinks. You know, it’s a new car. This radio is, like, you know… it’s an old radio, too, so… look, this isn’t something that I, you know… I can’t get this radio to stop. I wouldn’t try this on you, you know? ‘Cause this is like a romantic… romantic thing that I’m not trying to do. Not that you’re not worthy of trying something like this on. I’m a friend of yours. I’m not a romantic friend. Romantic friends do this. I mean, I’m… I’m not that friend. I mean, we… I could be.” — Sam Witwicky
“Stupid. Shut up, shut up, shut up. Double-pump? Oh. I like to go faster. Yeah? How’d you know that? That’s weird. I just wouldn’t peg you for mechanical. Oh, my God. Yeah, no, I’m cool with, you know, females working on my engine. I prefer it, actually. Oh, yeah, yeah, no problem. You know, I was… I was thinking. You know, if… if Trent’s such a jerk, why do you hang out with him? All right. Walking’s healthy, right? Oh, God, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Come on, please. Please, you gotta work for me now. Don’t let her walk away. Come on, come on. Please, please. Whoo! Hey! Hey! Wait a second!” — Sam Witwicky
“There it is. Oh, yeah, yeah. I think you’re… no, no, no. I think, um… I think there’s a lot more than meets the eye with you. Yeah. All right. That’s stupid. That was a stupid line. ‘There’s more than meets the eye with you.’ Stupid. Oh, God. Oh, my God. I love my car. Oh, God. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! That’s my car! No! No, no, no, no. Dad, call the cops! Where you going with my car, buddy? Where you going? Hello? 911 emergency! My car has been stolen! I’m in pursuit! Right? I need all units, the whole… the whole squadron. Bring everyone! No, don’t ask me questions, all right? My father’s the head of the neighborhood watch! Oh, my God.” — Sam Witwicky
“My name is Sam Witwicky. Whoever finds this, my car is alive, okay? You saw that? Since this is my last words on Earth, I just wanna say, Mom, Dad, I love you, and if you find Busty Beauties under my bed, it wasn’t mine. I’m holding it for Miles. No, no, wait that… okay, that’s not true. It’s mine and Uncle Charles gave it to me. I’m sorry. Mojo, I love you. No! No! No! No! Oh, my God. No, you’re a good dog! Good dog! Good dog! Oh, my God. Whoa! Hey, hey, hey! All right! Oh! No! No! Okay. Please, please don’t kill me! I’m sorry. Take the keys! I don’t want them. Car’s yours! Listen, listen, listen. Good, you’re here. No, no, no! It’s not me! The guy’s inside.” — Sam Witwicky
Mikaela Banes
“Okay, okay. You know what? Stop. Hey, how about you let me drive? Oh, God, I can’t even tell you how much I’m not your little bunny. I can’t believe that I’m here right now. Oh, no, no, no. I didn’t mean… …I didn’t mean here with you. I just meant here, like, in this situation… …this same situation that I’m always in. ‘Cause, I don’t know, I guess I just have a weakness for hot guys, for… for tight abs and, um, really big arms. Ah. Are you… are you new to school this year? It’s your first year here? Really? No. Well, do we have any classes together? Really? Which? Sam. Sam Wilkicky. God, you know what? I’m so sorry. I just… I just didn’t recognize you. Uh-huh. No, of course not. Just pop the hood.”
“Whoa, nice headers. You’ve got a high-rise double-pump carburetor. That’s pretty impressive, Sam. It squirts the fuel in so you can go faster. And it looks like your, uh, your distributor cap’s a little loose. Uh, my dad. He was a… he was a real grease monkey. He taught me all about this. I could take it apart, clean it, put it back together. Well, you know, I don’t really broadcast it. Guys don’t like it when you know more about cars than they do. Especially not Trent. He hates it. Okay. You want to fire it up for me? Thanks. You know what? I’m just… I’m gonna walk. Uh, good luck with your car.”
“I had fun. Um. So, you know, thanks for listening. You… you think I’m shallow? Huh? Okay. All right, I’ll see you at school.”
Defense Secretary John Keller
“Steve. They’re so young. Please be seated. I’m John Keller. Obviously, you’re wondering why you’re here, so these are the facts. At 1900 local time yesterday, the SOCCENT Forward Operations Base in Qatar was attacked. So far as we know, there were no survivors. The objective of the attack was to hack our military network. We’re not sure exactly what they’re after, but we do know that they were cut off during the assault, which would lead us to assume that they’re gonna try it again. Now, no one’s taken responsibility for the attack. And the only real lead we have so far is this sound. That’s the signal that hacked our network. NSA’s working at full capacity to analyze it and intercept further communications, but we need your help to find out who did this. Now, you’ve all shown considerable ability in the area of signals analysis. We’re on a hair-trigger here, people. The President has dispatched battle groups to the Arabian Gulf and Yellow Sea. This is as real as it’s ever gonna get. Now, I’m gonna leave you to your officer-in-charge. You’ll break up into teams and you’ll start your work. Good luck to us all.”
“At this time, we can’t confirm whether there were any survivors. Our bases worldwide are, as of now, at DEFCON Delta, our highest readiness level. We’re dealing with a very effective weapons system that we have not come across before. But our prayers are with the families of the brave men and women…”
“We will hunt down this enemy. And when we do, we’ll know just what to do with them. I want our President in that bunker. And I don’t want to discuss a damn thing other till that becomes a reality. That’s our first priority. That’s our only priority right now. What did they get? Talk to me about the virus. Can we stop it? Hold on. It was you? You did it? Okay.”
The Pentagon / Air Force One
“Hello, Mr. Secretary. They’re the top subject matter experts, sir. NSA’s recruiting right out of high school these days. Guys, that’s the Secretary of Defense. I am so underdressed. Ladies and gentlemen, the Secretary of Defense.”
“Hey, guys, I think the other team figured it out. Iran. Come on, man. This is way too smart for Iranian scientists. Eh? Think about it. What do you think, kid? Chinese? No way. This is nothing like what the Chinese are using. This is Air Force One. Level of flight, level three-three-zero. You’re welcome. Thank you. Yes, Mr. President? Yeah, can you wrangle me up some Ding Dongs, daring? I joined the Air Force to bring the man Ding Dongs. I’ll be in storage. Oh, shoot. Ugh. Gross. Do you hear that? Are you getting this? I think they’re hacking the network again. Uh-oh. Oh, my God. This is a direct match to the signal in Qatar. Are you running a diagnostic? Should I be? Yes, you should. So I am. Someone! They’re hacking into Air Force One! We need a senior analyst. I think they’re planting a virus. A virus? It’s streaming right now. They are planting a virus and stealing a whole lot of data from your system at the same time. Code Red. We have a breach. Air Force One, someone onboard has breached the military network. I’m in the cargo hold. Clear. Clear. You got to cut the hardlines. What? Whatever they want, they are getting it. Sir? Permission to take down the Defense Network. Cut all server hard lines now. Cut all server hard lines now. Someone’s tampered with the POTUS mainframe. What the… shots fired in the underdeck. Repeat, shots fired. Crew, prepare for emergency descent. Air force one is on the ground.”
“Whoever did this finally managed to infiltrate our defense network, which is what they tried to do in Qatar, only this time it worked. We still don’t know. It’s a Spider-bot virus. We’re not sure what it’s going to do, but it may cripple the system. Every time we try an antivirus, it adapts and speeds up. It’s like, it’s not a virus anymore. It’s become the system. Obviously the first phase of a major attack against the US. The only countries with this kind of capability are Russia, North Kora, maybe China. I’m sorry, that’s not correct. Excuse me, young lady. I didn’t see you standing there. You would be who? I’m just the analyst who detected the hack. Her team. Sir, I was just trying to say, they hacked your firewall in ten seconds. Even a supercomputer with a… a brute force attack would take 20 years to do that. Maybe you can explain, then, how our latest satellite imagery shows North Korea doubling its naval activity. Maybe it’s a precaution, because isn’t that what we’re doing?”
Ron Witwicky
“So? Wait, wait, wait. I can’t see. It’s an A. You’re good. I got a little surprise for you, son. Yeah, a little surprise. See? Yeah. I am. You’re not getting a Porsche. Yeah, I think it’s funny. Oh, you think I’d really get you a Porsche for your first car? Oh, come on. It’s just a practical joke. When I was your age, I’d have been happy with four wheels and an engine. Yeah. Okay. No sacrifice, no victory. Right. Well, my son here, looking to buy his first car. How much? No. I’m not paying over four. Sorry. There’s a Fiesta with racing stripes over there. Gee. Holy cow. You all right?”
“Yeah. Probably. Yeah. I’ll take care of that real soon. Oh, Sam… I do not like footprints on my grass. That’s why I built my path. So, why don’t you go from my grass onto my path. Well, when you own your own grass, you’ll understand. Eleven o-clock. Well, it’s his first car. Supposed to be like that. What?”
Judy Witwicky
“Ron, this one is uneven. This one is wobbly. Couldn’t we have hired a professional? What? That’s his bling. I want you home at eleven o’clock. Please, for the love of God, drive safely. Seat belt on! Wow. You are so cheap.”
John Marshall Highschool
“Okay, Mr. Witwicky, you’re up. Watch. Who did… who did that? People! Responsibility. Are you going to sell me his liver? Mr. Witwicky, this isn’t show and sell. It’s the 11th grade. I don’t think your grandfather would be particularly proud of what you’re doing. Sam! Okay. Might be a pop quiz tomorrow. Might not. Sleep in fear tonight. Sam? Uh, I’d say a solid B-. You were hawking your great-grandfather’s crap in my classroom. What? Yeah.”
“Dude, are you sure we’re invited to this party? Yeah, you’re good. Hey, guys, check it out. Oh, hi. Hey, bro. That car. It’s nice. Hey. So, what are you guys doing here? I… I see that. It looks… it looks fun. You know, I thought I recognized you. You tried out for the football team last year, right? Let’s go call your mom. Oh, yeah? Yeah? What’s it about? Sucking at sports? That’s funny. Hey, guys, I know of a party. Let’s go, let’s head. Did you see that dismount? All the chicks were watching. Oh, no. No, no, no. This is not a toy. These 22s, I don’t want you grinding them. No. Why doesn’t my little bunny just hop in the back seat? Okay. You’ll call me. Hey, man, what’s wrong with your radio? What? She’s an evil jock concubine, man. Let her hitchhike. All right. We’ll put her in the back. I’ll be quiet. I called shotgun. That’s a party foul. All right. Bros before hoes. You… you can’t do this to me.”
Captain Lennox
“I mean, how many times have we… we don’t speak Spanish. I told you that. Go with the Spanish. Whatever. I just can’t wait to hold my baby girl for the first time. Shut up! Hey, hey! Hey, what are you doing? Aw. Thank you. Are you gonna help me with the gear? My wife on? My ladies! Oh, my goodness. Look at her. She’s getting so big. Look at those cheeks. I just wanna chew on them. Baby, we made a good-looking kid. I know that people say that all the time, but, wow, we made one good-looking kid. Nice work. She laughed? You lo– you sure she didn’t just fart? Sarah? Hey, Sarah, if you can hear me, I love you and I’ll be home soon. Here, come here! Come here! Come here. Come, hide in here! Epps, let’s go!”
“All right, we got to get this thing back to the Pentagon right away. They got to know what we’re dealing with here. Hey, Mahfouz. How far do you live from here? Do they have a phone?”
Sergeant Epps
“You’ve been talking about barbecued gators and crickets for the last two weeks. I’m never going to your Mama’s house, Fig. I promise. I’m not going… …to your mama’s house. I understand. English. English, please. That’s too… hey, I’m ready to do this. Hey, any of y’all grow some balls, come see me on the court, man. Watch this crossover, baby. Like Jordan in his prime, pushing through the front line.”
“They bombed the antenna farm! We’re under attack! No! What the… I’ve never seen a weapons system like this. The thermal shows this weird aura around the exoskeleton like it’s cloaked by some kind of invisible force field. When I took that picture… I think it saw me. It looked right at me. My radio’s fried. I got no communication with aerial. All right, let’s hit it.”
South Gate, California
“Manny! What? Get your cousin out of that damn clown suit. He’s having a heat stroke again. Scaring white folks. I’m hot! Makeup’s melting. It hurts my eyes. Gentlemen. Bobby Bolivia, like the country, except without the runs. How can I help you? You come to see me? That practically makes us family. Uncle Bobby B, baby. Uncle Bobby B. Sam, let me talk to you. Sam, your first enchilada of freedom awaits underneath one of those hoods. Let me tell you something, son. A driver don’t pick the car. The car’ll pick the driver. It’s a mystical bond between man and machine. Son, I’m a lot of things, but a liar’s not one of them. Especially not in front of my mammy. That’s my mammy. Hey, Mammy! Oh, don’t be like that. If I had a rock, I’d bust your head, bitch. I tell you, man, she deaf, you know? Well, over here, every piece of car a man might want or need. Yeah. It got race… yeah, what’s this? What the heck is this? I don’t know nothing about this car. Manny! What? What is this? This car! Check it out. I don’t know, boss! I’ve never seen it! That’s loco! Don’t go Ricky Ricardo on me, Manny! Find out!”
“Well… considering the semi-classic nature of the vehicle, with the slick wheels and the custom paint job… yeah, but it’s custom. Well, this is your first car. I wouldn’t expect you to understand. Five grand. Kid, come on, get out. Get out the car. Well, sometimes they pick a driver with a cheap-ass father. Out the car. Now, this one here for four Gs is a beaut. This is a classic engine right here. I sold a car the other day… all right. No. No worries. I’ll get a sledgehammer and knock this right out. Hey, hey, Manny! Get your clown cousin and get some hammers and come bang this stuff out, baby! That one’s my favorite, drove all the way from Alabammy. Four thousand.”
“Let me see your hands. Let me see your hands. Shut up! Walk towards the car. Put your head on the hood.”
Artic Shelf
“Move faster, men! Move! Chop! Heave! The ice is freezing faster than it’s melting! Heave, men! Chop faster! No sacrifice, no victory! Heave! We’ll get to the Arctic Circle, lads!”
Bumblebee
“…greather than man… go!”
“♪ Who’s gonna drive you Home tonight… ♪ Who’s gonna come Around… ♪”
“♪ When I get that feeling… ♪ Sexual… ♪”
“♪ Any kind of fool could… ♪ There was something In everything about you… ♪ Baby come back… ♪ You can blame It all on me… ♪ And I just can’t live Without you… ♪”
Decepticons
“Eh. Witwicky.”
“Stupid insects tried to shoot me. Found a clue to the all spark. Witwicky man – he has seen our language. Witwicky search. We must find Ladiesman217.”
Desert Storm
“Oh, God, five months of this. I can’t wait to get a little taste of home. A plate of Mama’s alligators etouffee. Hmm. But Bobby. ‘Gators are known to have the most succulent meat. Why you got to ruin it for me, man? That’s my heritage. Hey, you guys remember weekends? Huh? The Sox at Fenway. Cold hotdog and a flat beer. Perfect day. What about you, Captain? You got a perfect day? He’s adorable. Oh, man. What? Step aside, ladies. Lennox! Water?”
“Colonel Sharp, we have an inbound unidentified infiltrator, ten miles out. Unidentified aircraft, you are in restricted US military airspace. Squawk ident and proceed east out of the area. Raptors one and two, snap to heading two-five-zero to intercept. Bogie is in the weeds ten miles out, not squawking. Unidentified aircraft, we will escort you to US SOCCENT airbase. If you do not comply, we will use deadly force. Copy the bogie. Tail 4500 X-ray. Sir, says here 4500 X was shot down three months ago. That’s got to be a mistake. Afghanistan. Check again. Then recheck. I did, sir. A friend of mine was on that chopper. Unidentified aircraft, we will escort you to US SOCCENT airbase. Radar, where’s the inbound? Bogie’s five miles out, sir.”
“Yes, captain. Look. She has your laugh. Her first one, yeah. No, she’s a lady. She doesn’t know you yet, but she will. 4500 X. Something’s not right. Bogie’s on the deck. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Radar’s jammed. It’s coming from the chopper. Will? Check fire. To the right. Go to the right. Check… MH-53 pilot, power down now. Have your crew step out or we will kill you. Hold your fire! Stand by to engage! My God. Go! Move! Move! It’s going after the files! Cut the hardlines! I need a key! It’s locked! Move! Move!”
“Oh, my God. That’s impossible. There’s no such ting as invisible force fields except in, like, comic book stuff, right? Man, I don’t know. What is that? My mama, she had the gift, you know? She saw things. I got the gene, too, and that thing that attacked us? I got a feeling it ain’t over. How about you use those magic voodoo powers and get us the hell outta here, huh? Nost far. Just up that mountain. Yes.”
Optimus Prime
“Before time began, there was the cube. We know not where it comes from, only that it holds the power to create worlds and fill them with life. That is how our race was born. For a time, we lived in harmony, but like all great power, some wanted it for good, others for evil. And so began the war, a war that ravaged our planet until it was consumed by death, and the Cube was lost to the far reaches of space. We scattered across the galaxy, hoping to find it and rebuild our home, searching every star, every world. And just when all hope seemed lost, message of a new discovery drew us to an unknown planet called… Earth. But we were already too late.”
