Amazon Prime Video original film Napoleon Dynamite was released
#NapoleanDynamite made $46.1M at the international box office.
rottentomatoes: 72%
metacritic: 64
imdb: 7.0
Napoleon Dynamite
Napoleon Dynamite goes to high school in Preston, Idaho.
“Whatever I feel like I want to do. Gosh!” — Napoleon Dynamite
“Last week, Japanese scientists explaced– placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Curt Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland’s local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents… and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally.” — Napoleon Dynamite
“Yes. Yes. I told you. I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines. Yes, like 50 of them. They kept trying to attack my cousins. What the heck would you do in a situation like that? A fricking 12-guage. What do you think? But I didn’t– hey, could I use your guys’s phone for a sec? I don’t feel very good.” — Napoleon Dynamite
“Is Grandma there? Can you just go get her for me? Well, just tell her to come get me. Because I don’t feel good. No, she doesn’t know anything. Will you just come get me? Well, will you do me a favor, then? Can you bring me my ChapStick? But my lips hurt real bad. I’m not gonna use hers, you sicko. Idiot!” — Napoleon Dynamite
“Hey, is that a new kid or something? Sure. Come on. You know, there’s like a buttload of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I’m pretty good with a bow staff. Do you ride the bus to school? What kind of bike do you have? Dang! You got shocks, pegs. Lucky! You ever take it off any sweet jumps? You got, like three feet of air that time. Can I try it really quick? Dang it!” — Napoleon Dynamite
“The worst day of my life. What do you think? Kip hasn’t done flipping anything today. Well, what’s there to eat? Fine! Stay home and eat all the freaking chips, Kip! Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time. What? Such an idiot. I’ll go get it. This is a girl. I already get my hair cut at the Cuttin’ Coral. I already made, like, infinity of those at Scout camp. Tina, you fat lard. Come get some dinner. Tina, eat. Eat the food. Eat the food!” — Napoleon Dynamite
“Hey, Lyle. So me and you are pretty much friends by now, right? So, you got my back and everything? Never mind. Have you heard about the dance? Have you met anyone to ask yet? Who you gonna ask? Summer Wheatly? How the heck are you gonna do that? Yeah, my girlfriend from Oklahoma was gonna fly out here for the dance but she couldn’t because she’s doing some modeling right now. See for yourself. Yeah, I took her to the mall to get some glamour shots for her birthday one year. Me too.” — Napoleon Dynamite
“How long did it take you to grow that mustache? I wish I could grow one. Are you gonna eat your tots? Can I have them? You see that girl over there? She came over to my house the other day. I don’t know. But she left all this crap on my porch. Do you dare me to go talk to her? I see you’re drinking one percent. Is that because you think you’re fat? Because you’re not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to. Well, I have all your equipment in my locker. You should probably come get it because I can’t fit my nunchakus in there anymore.” — Napoleon Dynamite
“Hey, can I have one of your key chains? No, go find your own. No, I’m freaking starved. I didn’t get to eat anything today. Gross. Freaking idiot! Tina, come get some ham. What are you doing here, Uncle Rico? What? Since when does she go to the dunes? You don’t have to stay here with us. We’re not babies. Well, Kip is, like, 32 years old. What the flip was Grandma doing at the sand dunes? Boyfriend? This is pretty much the worst video ever made. You guys are idiots.” — Napoleon Dynamite
“Go for it. What the heck are you doing? I don’t think so. Why? Okay. Hey, Summer, you want to play me? Ow. God. A liger. It’s pretty much my favorite animal. It’s like a lion and a tiger mixed. Bred for it’s skills in magic. I don’t know. Did you see him today? Neither did I. No. I missed the bus today but my uncle’s coming to get me. See you. Hello? Napoleon Dynamite. Napoleon Dynamite. I’m one of Pedro’s best friends. Yes. Is Pedro there? Okay, bye. What? Where have you been? Has Summer said anything to you yet? Well, she said no. What other girl? You mean Deb? What about her? What? Well, nobody’s gonna go out with me.” — Napoleon Dynamite
Uncle Rico
“Hello? Your grandma took a little spill at the sand dunes today, broke her coccyx. Looks like there’s a lot you don’t know about her. I don’t know. Not sure. Ha, ha. Talk to your Auntie Caroline. Oh. Thanks, Kip. She was on a date with her boyfriend. Hey, you guys want to see my video? Man, I wish I could go back in time. I’d take state. You know what, Napoleon? You can leave. Ha! Hey, check that out.”
“No. Not really. Well… she’s jealous. Says I’m living too much in ’82. Well, I dumped her. What about your girlfriend? Yep. Well, what’s she look like? Hey, you know, I got a little project that we might be able to make a little moola with. Have you ever heard of nylon polymer? Back in ’82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile. I’m dead serious. Watch this.”
“How much you want to make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains? Yeah. If coach would’ve put me in fourth quarter… we’d have been state champions, no doubt. No doubt in my mind. You better believe things would have been different. I’d have gone pro in a heartbeat. I’d be making millions of dollars and living in a big old mansion somewhere. You know, soaking it up in a hot tub with my soul mate. Kip. I reckon you know a lot about cyberspace. You ever come across anything like time travel? Right on. Right on.”
“Right. I think just a little bit east of the cemetery is a good little area right here. We should do it there. But don’t go down here, because they don’t have any money. What, are you–? You’re already losing your steam? All right, you just start a little earlier. That’s all. Or else work afterwards. How long is the chat room? You pay the bills for that? Does that cost money every time you’re on, like for minutes on the phone? I’ll bet she does. I’ll tell you something, I’d be throwing you out the window. See, Crystal Street. That’s for you. I’m going to Adams Park. They got some money in Adams Park. Let’s go, Kipper. I think we should take this someplace a little more private.”
“Before we get started on our new project, I have a few concerns. First off, I’m concerned about your transportation situation. I mean, do you, got a car you can borrow from someone? You can borrow my van for the time being. I do better on foot anyway. We also need some way to make us look official, like we got all the answers. We need, like, some name tags with our picture on it, all laminated and whatnot. I mean, we gotta look legit, man. Say, you know of a place we can get our picture taken… like a photo store? Heh. Uh, you did it? Wow. Wow, that felt really relaxed. Thanks, Deb. Heh. You’re up, Kip.”
Kip Dynamite
“Hi. No. She’s getting her hair done. What do you need? I’m really busy right now. Why? Well, have you talked to the school nurse? No. What? No, Napoleon. Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has, like, five sticks in her drawer. See you.”
“I love the way… your sandy air floats in the air. To me it’s like a lullaby. I’m just flying by, oh, so high… like a kite tied to a stake. What? Napoleon, don’t be jealous that I’ve been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know I’m training to become a cage fighter. Try and hit me, Napoleon. I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me. Let’s see what your best move is. Jeez!”
“Your mom goes to college. It’d be nice if you could pull me into town. Jeez! Ouch. Well, that place was a rip-off. So, when’s grandma coming back? I don’t mind if you stay. Napoleon, like anyone can even know that. So, you and Tammy still together? Why is that? Well, things are getting pretty serious right now. I mean, we chat online for, like, two hours every day… so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious. I’m just really trying to raise a few bucks right now so I can bring her around for a few days. She’s, uh– she’s got sandy blond hair. She’s, uh, pretty-look– pretty good-looking face but… I’m just getting really– just kind of T.O.’d because, I mean, she hasn’t even sent me a full body shot yet.”
“Really? That sounds pretty good. Are you serious? That’s what I’m talking about. Easy. I’ve already looked into it for myself. So, how long are we talking about working? No. I just– I have a chat room meeting at 4. I gotta be back here by then. Jeez, sometimes up to three, four hours maybe. Maybe not. I don’t know. Yeah. Grandma’s still paying per minute. She gets kind of pissed at me sometimes because I’m on there so long. That’s a good idea. Please. Please. Be good to me. Please, keep going. Dead on. Dead on. Yes!”
“Well, that’s the problem right now. At the moment, nothing comes to mind. How about some gold bracelets? That’s true, that’s true. You can say that again. Is there some kind of vest that I can wear?”
Pedro Sánchez
“No. I ride my bike. It’s a Sledgehammer. Yes. What? Yes. No. But I probably will after school. That girl over there. She braided my hair one time– build her a cake or something. Is she hot? Wow. I like her bangs. A couple of days.”
“Why? She’s pretty good-looking. Sure. I better go. I got sick. No, not yet. She did? Well, what about the other girl? The one that left all that crap on your porch. Yes, her. Well, I asked her out too.”
Grandma
“How was school? Well, I want you to go see if Tina wants some of this. Look, tonight me and your– Kip, Listen! Tonight me and your aunt are gonna go visit some friends and we’re not gonna be back till tomorrow. We’re getting a little low on steak, so I got Lyle coming over tomorrow to take care of it. Knock it off, Napoleon. Make yourself a dang quesadilla! I’ll be back tomorrow.”
Deb Bradshaw
“Um, hello. Would you like to look like this? Because for a limited time only… glamour shots by Deb are 75 percent off. Well, maybe you’d be interested in some home-woven handicrafts. In here we have some boondoggle key chains. A must-have for this season’s fashion. Well, is anyone else here? I’m trying to earn money for college.”
“Where’s your locker? What are you drawing? What’s a liger? Hmm. Where’s your friend? No. Do you need a ride? Oh. Okay. Turn your head on more of a slant. Now, make a fist and slowly ease it up underneath your chin. This is looking really good. Okay, hold still right there. Now, just imagine you’re weightless. You’re in the middle of the ocean… surrounded by tiny little sea horses.”
“That was the one. I think that’s gonna come out really nice.”
Rex Kwon Do
“I’m Rex founder of the Rex Kwon Do Self-Defense system. After one week with me in my dojo you’ll be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a grizzly… …the reflexes of a puma and the wisdom of a man. Come down today for your free trial lesson!”
“My name is Rex, and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of self-defense that I developed over two seasons of fighting in the Octagon. It’s called Rex Kwon Do! I need a volunteer! Okay, you’ll do. Come up here. Bow to your sensei. Bow to your sensei! Okay. Now, I’m gonna give you one chance. One chance, people. Give me your best shot. All right. That was pretty good. Okay. Now, watch this, everybody. Grab my arm. The other arm. My other arm.”
“Okay, now watch this. I’m just gonna break the wrist and walk away. Break the wrist, walk away. Okay. It’s just that simple. Now, I want you to kick me. Come on. Kick me. Okay, do it again. Do it again. Okay. You’ll block it every time. Have a seat. Now, in addition to what you just saw if you study with my eight-week program, you’re gonna learn these things. First off… Rex Kwon Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times! Second off, you’re gonna learn to discipline your image. Do you think I got where I am today because I dress like Peter Pan here? Take a look at what I’m wearing, people. Do you think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I’m wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. Last off… my students will learn about self-respect. Do you think anybody thinks I’m a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it! Now, for only $300, you can sign up right now for my eight-week program.”
Preston, Idaho
“What were you gonna do today, Napoleon?”
“Your current event, Napoleon.”
“Hey, Napoleon, what’d you do all last summer again? Did you shoot any? Heh. What kind of gun did you use?”
“You think you’re funny? Just watch your step. Is there anything wrong? David Demke, please come to the office. David Dempke… you do understand English? This isn’t that complex. Look, the cafeteria’s down the hall to the right and downstairs.”
“Napoleon, this is Pedro. Would you mind showing him where his locker is? Nothing on here works smooth. Napoleon, give me some of your tots. Come on. Give me some of your tots.”
“Is Pedro here today? Just wondering. Can you, uh, give this to him for me? Mm-mm.”
“Bueno. Who’s this? Who? Your name is Napoleon? No, he’s not here right now.”
