Tag Archives: Performer Artisan

Celestial Tactics

Music’s biggest night had a solemn undertone as the 54th Annual Grammy Awards was overshadowed by the tragic death of beloved music icon Whitney Houston.  The singer’s death happened in Los Angeles about 24 hours prior to the awards show, and gave the Grammy’s their best ratings since 1984 as people tuned in to see tributes to the former singer/songwriter.  Host of the show LL Cool J kicked off the night with a touching prayer in honor of Whitney, while fellow singer Jennifer Hudson gave a vocal tribute to the late songstress by singing her classic I Will Always Love You.  The night was otherwise rather straight forward except for British newcomer Adele claiming a record six Grammys including Song of the Year, Record of the Year, and Album of the Year.  Let’s however go ahead and take a look at the woman who is often heralded as one of the best female vocalists of all time, the legendary Whitney Houston.

Whitney Elizabeth Houston was born in Newark, New Jersey the daughter of a gospel singer and an entertainment executive.  Houston’s extraordinary vocal talent shined early as she sang in her local choir, and often sang along with her mothers vocal performances.  Indeed Whitney’s talents were exceptional, cited as the most-awarded female act of all time with over 415 total awards in her lifetime including six Grammys.  Sociable, outspoken, emotionally expressive, with her heart on her sleeve Whitney Houston was a Performer Artisan.  Unfortunately Performers are perhaps the most susceptible temperament to temptation, as evidenced by her run-ins with drug addiction.  Let’s however focus on the positive: and instead of mourning her death, let’s celebrate the life of this magnificent and vibrant singer Whitney Houston.

Quote1.png From the beginning, the camera and I were great friends. It loves me, and I love it. Quote2.png

  Whitney Houston

Dimwitted Homecoming

The classless morons from MTV‘s pop-culture phenomenon Jersey Shore returned this past Thursday for their last season as a cast together.  Returning home from Florence Italy, the cast shot back-to-back seasons ending in their ‘home turf’ city of Seaside Heights. Though the cast is calling it quits as a collective, MTV recently signed lucrative spin-off deals with cast members ‘J-Woww’, ‘Snooki’, and ‘Pauly D’.  Jennifer Farley (J-Woww) and Nicole Polizzi (Snooki)’s show will follow their moronic exploits moving in a house together, while Paul Delvecchio (Pauly D)’s show will follow his burgeoning career as an international DJ.  Originally it was thought that Mike “the Situation” Sorrentino would also get his own full spin-off series but it seems that his specific brand of idiocy only warranted a “series-development deal”.  Regardless of who’s idiocy is superior let’s take a look at the two remaining Jersey Shore stars who will continue to bless America with quality television programming.

DJ Pauly Delvecchio is a very young, loud, energetic and entertaining disc jockey from Rhode Island.  Pauly D is responsible for a slew of wildly popular catch phrases and has a current twitter following of almost 3 million. Indeed Delvecchio is constantly making his roommates laugh and is by far the most entertaining of the group.  Pauly’s endless line of witty quips and jokes have caught-on nationally among young adults, and his popularity has spawned a set of business-ventures for the young reality star.  Dirty Couture is a clothing line “inspiring a lifestyle for an underground generation who seeks individuality through a musically infused self expressive style.”  The young DJ also recently signed a record deal with rapper 50-Cent‘s G-unit Records, saying “I’m focusing on music.  That’s my passion.”  Outspoken, playful, fun-loving, and highly entertaining DJ Pauly D is undoubtedly a Performer Artisan.  Indeed Pauly D has a strict “no drama” policy, as most Performers do, and will always try to lighten the mood when his roommates get into conflicts.

Playful and fun-loving, these expressive Artisans’ primary social interest lies in stimulating those around them, arousing their senses and their pleasurable emotions–charming them, in a sense, to cast off their concerns and lighten up.  Such performers radiate warmth and festivity, and whether on the job, with friends, or with their families, they are able to lift others’ spirits with their contagious good humor and irrepressible joy of living.  Please Understand Me II, p. 69

Nicole Elizabeth Polizzi was born in Santiago, Chile and was adopted when she was six months old by an Italian American couple. Growing up in New York among so many Italian Americans Nicole embraced the “Guido” culture despite not actually being of Italian heritage.  Nicole was said to be the “breakout” star of Jersey Shore and her actions on the show have made her both wildly popular and the subject of public disdain.  Polizzi burst into the Jersey Shore house with the phrase “Party’s Here!” and proceeded to act accordingly.  After being shunned for a short period of time Polizzi wanted to make it clear that she was a genuine and warm-hearted person, and eventually won over her cast mates.  Confident, outspoken, vivacious, but highly diplomatic Nicole Polizzi is undoubtedly a Champion Idealist.  Indeed Snooki brings a warm enthusiasm to her occupation of being a “meatball”, and is a hopeless (albeit new-age) romantic.  Certainly Snooki has “championed” the Guido culture and the ‘Jersey Shore’ lifestyle.

Champions have a wide range and variety of emotions, and a great passion for novelty, and so can become bored rather quickly with both situations and people, and resist repeating experiences.  Also, they can never quite shake the feeling that a part of themselves is split off, uninvolved in their experience.  Thus, while they strive for emotional intensity, Champions often see themselves in some danger of losing touch with their real feelings.  Please Understand Me II, p. 155

Quote1.png I’m over here trying to clean my sneaks, I can’t concentrate with all this fighting .. like they’re talkin’ about f*ckin’ relationships and my sneakers are dirty!Quote2.png

Pauly D

Quote1.png I love food.  I love drinking, boys, dancing until my feet swell.  I love my family, my friends, my job, my boss.  And I love my body, especially the badonk.Quote2.png


Jersey Shore airs Thursdays 10/9c on MTV.

Tactical Disunity

Effervescent songstress Katy Perry and washed-up British imbecile Russell Brand officially ended their marriage recently and one wonders what in the world took so long.  The break-up reportedly stemmed from the couple heading in opposite directions as Perry‘s career is beginning to skyrocket, and Brand‘s is well, not.  Brand has had mild success recently in the American film industry with movies like Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Get Him to the Greek and the more recent Arthur.  In all three films he essentially plays the same washed-up, arrogant, promiscuous, out-of-control, no-talent moron and it’s like he doesn’t even have to act.  It just comes naturally for him.  Katy on the other hand catapulted into super-stardom this past year with five #1 billboard singles from the same album (Teenage Dream), being the first female artist to attain such an accolade (the only other being Michael Jackson).  The couple neglected to sign a pre-nuptial agreement, meaning that Brand stands to gain upwards of $20 million from the divorce.  I think the overall lesson we should learn from this is that dating the “bad boy” can go a little far in the form of an eccentric foreign ex heroin/sex addict who just took $20 million from you.  Lesson learned.  Let’s however hope for the best and take a closer look at this former Hollywood power couple.

Katheryn Elizabeth Hudson grew up in a strong Christian family in Santa Barbara California the daughter of two Pastors.  Originally a Christian artist, Perry rose to stardom by pushing the envelope in the pop/rock genre.  Perry’s breakout single “I Kissed a Girl” had a racy and mischievous tone, and pushed her 2008 album One of the Boys into the American Top Ten.  Perry is characterized by her borderline-controversial lyrics and outrageous fashion sense.  Bold, daring, audacious and extremely hard-working Katy Perry is undoubtedly a Promoter Artisan.  Indeed Katy is charming, confident, and popular and has made a career out of being artistically bold and edgy.  Katy however found out firsthand (as most Promoters do) that “[s]he who travels fast, travels alone“, as her booming success was likely the primary source of tension for the former couple.

Russell Edward Brand is an English comedian, actor, columnist, singer, author, and radio/television presenter.  Brand is known for being eccentric and controversial, and as a result has been dismissed from several large media corporations including BBC and MTV.  Brand‘s prior drug use, alcoholism, and promiscuity serve as a cornerstone for most of his comedic material and public image.  Playful, fun-loving, expressive, energetic and uninhibited Russell Brand is undoubtedly a Performer Artisan.  Indeed Brand (like many of his fellow Performers) is especially subject to temptations, and is inclined to be impulsive and self-indulgent, as evidenced by his past addictions and promiscuity.  Indeed Brand takes to heart the idea that “nothing is so serious or sacred that it can’t be made fun of“.  Though his “talent for enjoying life is healthy for the most part“, his “tolerance for anxiety is the lowest of all types“, resulting in his filing for divorce December 30th 2011 due to “irreconcilable differences”.

“Two SPs live primarily in the same world, the world of external, physical reality, speaking the same language of concrete objects, and they also share each other’s childlike love of fun and excitement.  Two SPs have so many interests and activities in common—travel, sports, parties, shows, clothes, and so on—that they can come together as playmates in a way not possible with persons of other temperament.  The only problem is that, with both partners living and playing so hard—going so fast in the same direction—they can quickly exhaust each other and lose interest.  This pattern of two Artisans lighting up the sky brightly and then burning out and falling apart is a familiar one.”  Please Understand Me II, p. 219

Quote1.png I think there’s a fine line between being a slut and being classy.  I walk in between that line.Quote2.png

Katy Perry

Quote1.png I like threesomes with two women, not because I’m a cynical sexual predator.   Oh no!  But because I’m a romantic.  I’m looking for “The One”.  And I’ll find her more quickly if I audition two at a time.Quote2.png

Russell Brand

Tactician's Vanity

The 2011 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show aired on CBS last night and WOW what quality television programming.  Like seriously.  The $12 million ‘marketing marvel’ is aired in more than 180 countries and features the worlds top models (36) wearing intimate apparel.  The show featured hard-hitting musical performances from Jay-Z and Kanye West,  Maroon 5, and Nicki Minaj.  “It’s one giant PR stunt” that was held in New York, and helps Victoria’s Secret “put our [their] brand in front of millions of people around the world during the crucial holiday period.”  And it works, as Victoria’s Secret raked in $5.5 billion in net sales last year.  Australian model and new mother Miranda Kerr sported the most expensive digs in the form of a $2.5 million Fantasy Treasure Bra—designed by London Jewelers and embellished with nearly 3,400 stones including 142 carats of diamond.  As is the new trend in these Victoria’s Secret Fashion Shows, a recent mother was given the honor of wearing the coveted Fantasy Bra, last year being Adriana Lima.  Indeed most of the lingerie giant‘s top models are now mothers including Gisele Bundchen, Heidi Klum, Kate Moss, Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosio.  With all that ridiculously good television going on it was hard to catch the fact that there were also musical performances.  Were there?  I had no idea.  Since analyzing the temperament of models wouldn’t make a whole lot of sense let’s take a look at burgeoning dynamic duo Jay-Z and Kanye West.

Shawn Corey Carter was born into poverty on the streets of Brooklyn December 4, 1969.  Today his net worth is estimated at over 450$ million.  An extremely talented rapper and musician, HOVA has 11 number one records, being beat out only by The Beatles.  Music however, is definitely not Carter’s only talent.  Indeed Carter is a very successful and renowned entrepreneur: he was President/CEO of Def Jam Records for several years, he has founded multiple corporations including Roc-A-Fella Records and Rocawear, finally he is co-owner of a variety of organizations including the 40/40 Club and the New Jersey Nets.  Whether it be music, fashion, food, or just cold hard business; Jigga clearly knows how to get sh*t done.  A self-admitted former crack dealer, Shawn Carter clearly will use any means or ‘tools’ necessary to be successful.  A brilliant Crafter Artisan from the streets, Carter knows that the most important things in life are ‘a gift and a curse’.

Kanye Omari West was born June 08, 1977 in Atlanta Georgia.  The Chi-town native is characterized by his flamboyantly loud personality, outrageous fashion sense, and skills as a music producer.  Indeed it was Kanye’s beat-making prowess that got his foot in the industry door.  However once his foot was in the door, his mouth did the rest.  The rapper’s flashy personality may come across as a bit egotistical, but also made him a powerful media darling, and helped propel his career to what it is today.  Kanye’s uncensored attitude has indeed gotten him in trouble: when he claimed that “George Bush doesn’t care about black people,” or his infamous mic-snatching incident with Taylor Swift.  In fact if at any point during the day you want to hear exactly what Kanye West is thinking about, you can check out his highly utilized twitter account, or even his website.  Although the guy may come off as a bit brazen or overconfident: at the end of the day Kanye West, a blazing Performer Artisan, simply wants to entertain his audience.

Quote1.png Shoot for the stars, so if you fall you land on a cloud.Quote2.png

Kanye West

Quote1.png I will not lose, for even in defeat, there’s a valuable lesson learned, so it evens up for me.Quote2.png

Shawn Carter

Tactical Lust

Young whippersnapper Ashton Kutcher and used-to-be-fox Demi Moore have evidently called it quits, serving as horribly discouraging news to cougars all over the world.  The couple officially announced their divorce on Thursday, but had been allegedly having marital issues for quite some time now.  Despite such heartbreaking news, both camps are said to be “moving full force ahead in terms of work”, which is probably the issue in the first place.  Or maybe it was the fact that she’s almost 50 (49), and he’s like 15 (33).  Or maybe it’s because he cheated on her.  Regardless of what it was, I think the overall message we need to take from this unfortunate situation is that no one should ever marry the guy from Dude, where’s my car?  But then again, maybe they should.  Demi will reportedly be ‘cleaning up’ from the divorce, as their marriage occurred during the peak of Ashton’s career.  Since Demi made most of her money like 5o years ago when she was young, she gets to keep all of that.  Any money made DURING the marriage however is fair game.  Therefore the overall message to ultimately extract from this situation is that cradle-robbing is a good thing and you can even make a lot of money doing it.  Rude, ignorant, and disrespectful comments aside let’s take a look at this former Hollywood power couple.

Ashton Kutcher is indeed at the peak of his career, hauling in about 12 million this year alone from movies, TV residuals, his production company, and his fat new sitcom paycheck.  Ashton has actually become the highest paid sitcom actor at $700,000 per episode after replacing Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men.  Ashton is most known for his breakout role as Michael Kelso in That 70’s Show, and his popular TV show Punk’d in which he pranked other celebrities.  Ashton is also known for his vibrant and loud personality, which he expresses mainly through his highly utilized and highly popular twitter account.  Indeed Ashton’s twitter account was the first to reach one million followers (beating out CNN) and currently boasts more than 8 million.  Highly entertaining, emotionally expressive and extremely playful and fun-lovingAshton Kutcher is undoubtedly a Performer Artisan.  Indeed Ashton lives with a “radiant warmth and festivity” and clearly has “contagious good humor” and an “irrepressible joy of living”.  It’s not all fun and games however, as “the Performers’ talent for enjoying life is healthy for the most part, though it also makes them more subject to temptations than other types.  ESFPs are inclined to be impulsive and self-indulgent, which makes them vulnerable to seduction, giving in easily to the wishes of others, or to the desire of the moment.”  As evidenced of course by Ashton’s infidelity.  Poor Demi!

Demi Guynes Moore was part of the Brat Pack of teenage actors rising to fame in the 1980’s.  In the 1990’s she became the highest paid actress in Hollywood earning a salary of over 10$ million.  Demi is known mostly for defying convention with her highly controversial nude Vanity Fair cover page, and her sexually-charged roles like those in Striptease and Disclosure.  Bold, daring, audacious, and highly enterprising Demi Moore is undoubtedly a Promoter Artisan.  Certainly Demi is “socially sophisticated” and “suave and polished”.  Promoters like Demi are “master manipulators” of the people around them, as: “people are instruments in the hands of Promoters, and they play them artistically.”  As evidenced of course by Demi marrying a young teenage heart-throb half her age in the peak of his career.  Indeed it seems that Demi got the better end of this deal by a long shot, as through Ashton she was able to continue living in the spotlight, have him help raise her kids, and then ends up leaving with a bunch of his money.  Two And A Half Men airs Mondays 9/8c on CBS.

“Two SPs live primarily in the same world, the world of external, physical reality, speaking the same language of concrete objects, and they also share each other’s childlike love of fun and excitement.  Two SPs have so many interests and activities in common—travel, sports, parties, shows, clothes, and so on—that they can come together as playmates in a way not possible with persons of other temperament.  The only problem is that, with both partners living and playing so hard—going so fast in the same direction—they can quickly exhaust each other and lose interest.  This pattern of two Artisans lighting up the sky brightly and then burning out and falling apart is a familiar one.”  Please Understand Me II, p. 219

Quote1.png I say whatever I think and whatever is on my mind, and I just hope that it comes out good.  I just try to have a lot of fun.Quote2.png

Ashton Kutcher

Stupidity Abroad

With MTV perpetually shaming our nation every week by airing episodes of The Jersey Shore Season 4  filmed in Florence, Italy perhaps it’s time to take a look at what makes these morons so delightfully entertaining.  Indeed the premise of the show is quite simple: put a couple of young wild Italian-Americans in a house together, chuck booze at ’em, and watch what happens.  The Jersey Shore has since evolved into a pop-culture phenomenon and TV ratings juggernaut.  The Jersey Shore is undoubtedly pop-culture for the sake of pop-culture: teenagers and young adults alike can flip to MTV, watch these idiots gets drunk, and forget about their day.  Given that the original cast of the show has in fact been let go after wrapping production on season 5, let’s take a look at the imbecile’s lucky enough to have signed fairly lucrative ‘spin-off’ deals.  Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is a classic and shameless Promoter Artisan and rampant dimwit.  DJ Pauly Delvecchio is a Crafter Artisan playboy and resident jokester with a slew of popular catch phrases.  Jennifer “Jwoww” Farley is a another tough and heavily siliconed Crafter Artisan.  Finally Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi may be a loud-mouthed, infamously trashy, and largely obnoxious Performer Artisan, but is actually a genuinely sweet-hearted girl and serves as the heart of the show.  The idea behind firing the current cast of course is to keep the Jersey Shore cash cow going with an all new and much cheaper cast, while still retaining their current ‘stars’ in spin-offs.  That way America can be once again blessed with an entirely new and fresh group of utterly classless morons.  Jersey Shore airs Thursdays 10/9 Central on MTV.