A Candle in the Wind

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind.
Never knowing who to cling to
When the rain set in.
I´d have liked to have known you
But I was just a kid.
Your candle burned out long before
Your legend ever did.

Candle in the Wind,  Elton John & Bernie Taupin

She is an icon of modern culture.  A legend.

She had been in foster care most of her childhood.  She wasn’t wanted, her mother was too unreliable to take care of her.  She was convinced to marry young for that way her guardians could go to Florida without her.

“My marriage didn’t make me sad, but it didn’t make me happy either. My husband and I hardly spoke to each other. This wasn’t because we were angry. We had nothing to say. I was dying of boredom.”

Continue reading A Candle in the Wind

Brutal Tacticians

The Dark Knight Rises wrapped principal photography in New York last week and in a recent interview with Empire Magazine, Christopher Nolan discussed his final Batman film.  Nolan revealed that the films’ events will be taking place 8 years after the events of the previous film, during a time when Bruce Wayne is “not in a great state”.  He also talked about choosing Bane as the primary villain, saying that the goal was to test Batman both physically AND mentally.  Since Bruce went and got everyone excited by going to ninja school in Batman Begins, some critics were largely disappointed with the lack of martial arts in The Dark Knight, which evidently will not be a problem in this film:

“He [Bane] is brutal. Brutal. He’s a big dude who’s incredibly clinical, in the fact that he has a result-based and oriented fighting style. It’s not about fighting. It’s about carnage. The style is heavy-handed, heavy-footed, it’s nasty. Anything from small-joint manipulation to crushing skulls, crushing rib cages, stamping on shins and knees and necks and collarbones and snapping heads off and tearing his fists through chests, ripping out spinal columns. He is a terrorist in mentality as well as brutal action.” — Christopher Nolan

Well that sounds pretty dope Mr. Nolan.  Thankyou for that.  I think we’re all glad to see that this Batman franchise is finally headed in the right direction.  The direction of ripping out peoples’ spinal cords.  Regardless of whether that ends up in the movie or not lets take a look at Batman and his new nemesis Bane.

Bruce Thomas Wayne had the unfortunate luck of witnessing his parents murder when he was a child, an event that birthed his life goal of ridding Gotham City of evil.  Bruce has since evolved into an arrogant billionaire industrialist and notorious playboy by day, and a ruthless masked vigilante by night.  Characterized by his physical prowess and technical ingenuityBatman ‘strikes terror into the hearts of criminals everywhere’.  Indeed Bruce Wayne is a martial arts ‘prodigy’ and excels specifically in japanese jujitsuninjitsuKeysi, and Aikido.  Bold, daring, and audacious with a strict adherence to utility The Caped Crusader is undoubtedly a Promoter Artisan.  Indeed Batman has a thick skin and is a hard-nosed utilitarian, doing whatever it takes to get the job done.  The Dark Knight however knows all too well as most Promoters do, that “he who travels fast, travels alone”.  Until Bane shows up.

Bane spent his childhood and early adult-life in prison, serving a sentence for his fathers crimes.  Bane’s ‘natural abilities’ allowed him to develop ‘extraordinary skills’ within the prison walls including a plethora of brutal martial arts.  Bane has since evolved into a ‘super intelligent world-class fighter’ and a ‘tactical genius’.  Bane is most known for causing a prison break to overwhelm Batman, and then breaking his back while he is weak and tired.  Impulsivefearless, and ridden with brute strengthBane is undoubtedly a Crafter Artisan.  Certainly, Bane like all Crafters communicates primarily through his actions.  Bringing his prison mentality to Gotham City, Bane decided to go after the man that everyone fearedBatman.  Indeed a physical specimen, actor Tom Hardy packed on 30 pounds of muscle to play the role.  Like his fellow Crafters, Bane is ‘fascinated by weapons of all kinds’ and wields them with ‘lethal virtuosity’, taking ‘pride’ in his ‘prowess’.  In other words if I saw this dude on the street, I probably wouldn’t talk sh*t.

Warner Bros. recently announced that fresh new trailers for both The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey and The Dark Knight Rises will be attached to their big holiday release Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows opening December 16th.

Quote1.png Everything’s impossible until somebody does it. Quote2.png

Bruce Wayne (New Earth)

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A Second Chance

He is grateful for a second chance. And he is doing well with it – at least for now.

Yes, he screwed up before – royally. He knew it. “I had burned bridges”

No, it wasn’t the addiction. No, that wasn’t it.

“It was the anger.”

“I had issues with anger. I wasn’t behaving professionally. I wasn’t accountable, no consequences, no rules.”

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Tactical Lust

Young whippersnapper Ashton Kutcher and used-to-be-fox Demi Moore have evidently called it quits, serving as horribly discouraging news to cougars all over the world.  The couple officially announced their divorce on Thursday, but had been allegedly having marital issues for quite some time now.  Despite such heartbreaking news, both camps are said to be “moving full force ahead in terms of work”, which is probably the issue in the first place.  Or maybe it was the fact that she’s almost 50 (49), and he’s like 15 (33).  Or maybe it’s because he cheated on her.  Regardless of what it was, I think the overall message we need to take from this unfortunate situation is that no one should ever marry the guy from Dude, where’s my car?  But then again, maybe they should.  Demi will reportedly be ‘cleaning up’ from the divorce, as their marriage occurred during the peak of Ashton’s career.  Since Demi made most of her money like 5o years ago when she was young, she gets to keep all of that.  Any money made DURING the marriage however is fair game.  Therefore the overall message to ultimately extract from this situation is that cradle-robbing is a good thing and you can even make a lot of money doing it.  Rude, ignorant, and disrespectful comments aside let’s take a look at this former Hollywood power couple.

Ashton Kutcher is indeed at the peak of his career, hauling in about 12 million this year alone from movies, TV residuals, his production company, and his fat new sitcom paycheck.  Ashton has actually become the highest paid sitcom actor at $700,000 per episode after replacing Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men.  Ashton is most known for his breakout role as Michael Kelso in That 70’s Show, and his popular TV show Punk’d in which he pranked other celebrities.  Ashton is also known for his vibrant and loud personality, which he expresses mainly through his highly utilized and highly popular twitter account.  Indeed Ashton’s twitter account was the first to reach one million followers (beating out CNN) and currently boasts more than 8 million.  Highly entertaining, emotionally expressive and extremely playful and fun-lovingAshton Kutcher is undoubtedly a Performer Artisan.  Indeed Ashton lives with a “radiant warmth and festivity” and clearly has “contagious good humor” and an “irrepressible joy of living”.  It’s not all fun and games however, as “the Performers’ talent for enjoying life is healthy for the most part, though it also makes them more subject to temptations than other types.  ESFPs are inclined to be impulsive and self-indulgent, which makes them vulnerable to seduction, giving in easily to the wishes of others, or to the desire of the moment.”  As evidenced of course by Ashton’s infidelity.  Poor Demi!

Demi Guynes Moore was part of the Brat Pack of teenage actors rising to fame in the 1980’s.  In the 1990’s she became the highest paid actress in Hollywood earning a salary of over 10$ million.  Demi is known mostly for defying convention with her highly controversial nude Vanity Fair cover page, and her sexually-charged roles like those in Striptease and Disclosure.  Bold, daring, audacious, and highly enterprising Demi Moore is undoubtedly a Promoter Artisan.  Certainly Demi is “socially sophisticated” and “suave and polished”.  Promoters like Demi are “master manipulators” of the people around them, as: “people are instruments in the hands of Promoters, and they play them artistically.”  As evidenced of course by Demi marrying a young teenage heart-throb half her age in the peak of his career.  Indeed it seems that Demi got the better end of this deal by a long shot, as through Ashton she was able to continue living in the spotlight, have him help raise her kids, and then ends up leaving with a bunch of his money.  Two And A Half Men airs Mondays 9/8c on CBS.

“Two SPs live primarily in the same world, the world of external, physical reality, speaking the same language of concrete objects, and they also share each other’s childlike love of fun and excitement.  Two SPs have so many interests and activities in common—travel, sports, parties, shows, clothes, and so on—that they can come together as playmates in a way not possible with persons of other temperament.  The only problem is that, with both partners living and playing so hard—going so fast in the same direction—they can quickly exhaust each other and lose interest.  This pattern of two Artisans lighting up the sky brightly and then burning out and falling apart is a familiar one.”  Please Understand Me II, p. 219

Quote1.png I say whatever I think and whatever is on my mind, and I just hope that it comes out good.  I just try to have a lot of fun.Quote2.png

Ashton Kutcher

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Eternal Romance

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 opens today much to the joy of pre-pubescent girls all over the country.  Breaking Dawn is the last of four vampire-themed fantasy romance novels, meaning that The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (to be released this time next year) will be the last time that we have to deal with this garbage. While some skeptics might call this stuff low-budget low-talent pop-teen fluffy bullsh*t, it has managed to gain quite a following so let’s not dampen the mood.  The Twilight Saga is a series of stories told primarily through the narrative of a young girl Bella and her romantic encounters with a vampire (left), and a werewolf (right).  The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 begins with a wedding between Bella and Edward (the vampire), so I guess we’ll see how that goes.  Twilight author Stephenie Meyer actually loosely based Breaking Dawn off of Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream, so it can’t be THAT bad.  Criticism aside if you are a hopeless romantic, The Twilight Saga has a lot to grasp on to so let’s go right on ahead and take a look at this delightful and charming story of true love.

Surely one of the most important and appealing concepts of The Twilight Saga is the idea that true love transcends time, as Edward is over 100 years old and yet falls deeply in love with the young human Bella.  Edward however is a pragmatist, and constantly warns Bella against being involved with him despite developing very strong feelings for her.  In the second book Edward even convinces Bella that he doesn’t love her in an attempt to protect her, as he knows that their relationship puts her in danger.  Highly skeptical of the dark world he lives in, extremely resolute in his concern for Bella, and very pragmatic about their forbidden relationship Edward Cullen is undoubtedly a Rational.  Indeed the couples’ entire relationship exists only with monumental amounts of self-control on behalf of Edward, something that Rationals pride themselves on. Bella’s scent is irresistible to Edward, and every second that he is with her his vampiric instincts are telling him to ‘bite’ her, but he ultimately cannot corrupt something that is so pure in his mind.

Despite Bella frequently asking Edward to turn her into a vampire so that they can be together forever, Edward believes that being a vampire is a curse and that they are soulless creatures with no place in heaven.  Indeed Bella possesses an unrelenting energy and passion for their relationship, and fell into a deep depression during their fallout in the second novel.  During such a dark period Bella discovered that she possesses intuitive powers, and can hear Edwards thoughts when she is in danger.  Highly sensitive, extremely empathic, deeply loving, and undeniably intimate Bella Swan is undoubtedly an Idealist.  Indeed Bella uses such danger-invoked telepathic abilities to justify nearly killing herself, a romantic cry for help that screams Idealist.  Certainly, Idealists (like Bella) “have a flair for dramatizing their courtships, and they spare no effort or flight of imagination to win the heart of their loved one.”

Undoubtedly, Bella Swan and Edward Cullen make a charming example of the profound connection between the Idealist Soulmate and the Rational Mindmate:

“The basis of the Idealists and Rationals compatibility is that they both live primarily in the world of abstract concepts–the world of theories and possibilities, of insights and symbols.  After dating more down-to-earth, literal minded Artisans and Guardians, an Idealist’s first encounter with a Rational can be a revelation, putting the NF in touch with a new and intriguing type of person, someone eager and able (like the NF) to dream the world, to build castles in the air, and to see far distances with the mind’s eye.  Also fascinating is the Rational’s calmness and autonomy, two characteristics which give the NT a strength of character—a firm grasp of who they are—that the easily ruffled, soul-searching NF greatly admires, and would like to emulate.” Please Understand Me II, p. 238

Of course once he ‘turns her’ and all the honeymoon and suspense is over, he’ll presumably get fat and lazy and the two will have to suffer through the woes of an actual relationship just like the rest of us.  The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 can be seen starting today at a theater near you.

Quote1.png Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night.  Very dark, but there were stars points of light and reason…And then you shot across my sky like a meteor.  Suddently everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty.  When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black.  Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light.  I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.’Quote2.png

Edward Cullen

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Reverence for Life

As a Viking traveler of books and people, I have occasioned to meet a person from a different place, a different time, and a different world, through the labyrinth of books.

Dr. Livingstone, I Presume

Presumably, this is what Henry Stanley said to Dr. David Livingstone, a missionary who had gone into the “wilds of Africa,” and Stanley was paid to find him which took about six months, a difficult and tortuous expedition.

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Timid Diplomacy

The official trailer for Snow White & the Hunstman was released last week and looks pretty damn intriguing.  The film’s lead roles are pretty solidly cast with Charlize Theron as the evil Queen, Kristen Stewart (Twilight) as Snow White, and Chris Hemsworth (Thor) as the Hunstman.  The Universal Studios film will be a “darker and more epic” take on the classic Disney tale, and will compete directly with Tarsem Singh‘s more family-friendly and comedy-oriented version titled Mirror, Mirror (who coincidentally released a trailer yesterday) to be released two months prior.  Some skeptics argue that the very premise of the film is fundamentally flawed, being a movie essentially about how Charlize Theron is jealous because Kristen Stewart is hotter than she is.  Which doesn’t make any sense.  Superficial and chauvinistic comments aside let’s take a look at Walt Disney’s first animated feature, the absolutely adorable and heart-warming classic tale of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

Snow White is a princess who lives with her stepmother, a vain and wicked queen who consults her Magic Mirror daily to find out ‘who is the fairest one of all’.  One day the mirror tells the queen that Snow White has become the fairest of all, to which the queen responds with utmost distaste and orders a huntsman to kill Snow White and take her heart.  The huntsman ultimately fails to fulfill such a horrid task, so Snow White runs into the forest where she encounters seven charming and adorable dwarves.  Upon meeting the dwarves for the first time, Snow White uses her intuition to guess the names of all seven (Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, and Dopey) and they immediately warm up to her kind-hearted semblance.  Each of the seven dwarves of course has a unique personality quirk as evidenced by their names, to which Snow White provides encouraging warmth and comfort.  Harmoniously diplomatic, a hopeless romantic, adorably timid, and highly nurturing with an affinity for cute forest creatures Snow White is undoubtedly a Counselor Idealist.  Indeed Snow White comes into possession of a small army of forest creatures including a variety of squirrels, birds and deer who follow her around and even help her clean and maintain the dwarves house.  She even manages to warm the heart of Grumpy, who by definition is, well, Grumpy.  The evil Queen of course tries to ruin the fun with a poison apple, but ultimately fails and dies.  Naturally, a charming prince happens to be on call to save the day and everyone lives happily ever after.  Let’s assume this modern take on the classic story will have slight differences in plot.  Snow White and the Hunstmen is slated for a June 1, 2012 release.

Quote1.png Some day when spring is here / We’ll find our love anew / And the birds will sing / And wedding bells will ring / Some day when my dreams come true. Quote2.png

Snow White

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One in the Same

At last, every hero becomes a bore.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

He saw himself and the institution he built as one in the same.

He was revered and reviled. He was founder and the builder of an United States Federal institution, that now has over thirty thousand employees and has a budget of eight billion. Once upon a time, famous, and respected, he was idolized by kids in the 1930s, for he was responsible for creating the good feelings about G men (government men), the prototypical hero of law and order, and justice, in an earlier age when government wasn’t as pervasive as it is today. Later, he was hated and reviled, on the top of list of the 1960s conspiracy theorist’s boogie men: he was viewed as a nexus for secrets, power, and repression of free speech.

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Ancient Conflict

 

Tarsem Singh‘s visually spectacular Greek mythology epic Immortals opened last Friday to mixed reviews and a $32 million box office weekend opening.  Some call it a “living, breathing, work of art” while others ask “doesn’t Greece have enough problems already?”  The film is an artistic depiction of several classic Greek myths including that of Theseus, the Minotaur, and the Titanomachy.  While the film does succeed in being an impressive visual spectacle, the story ultimately falls short and those looking for an emotional connection to the characters will likely be disappointed.  Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 37%  aggregate with its Top Critics giving it a 22%, while Metacritic gave it a 47 out of 100.  In other words when a movie gets “mixed reviews” it usually just means the movie sucks.  Most of the films issues lie in the screenplay, but if you are a movie fan or Greek mythology buff you should definitely check it out.  Regardless of Singh‘s artistic direction or perhaps lack-there-of let’s take a look at Immortals’ four main characters with limited spoilers.

A father-less peasant named Theseus played by the new Superman Henry Cavill serves as the Artisan in the film, being highly skilled in martial arts and utterly fearless.  Indeed it is Thesseus’ fearlessness that prompted Zeus to train him and provide guidance for him in the disguise of an old man.

An oracle priestess named Phaedra played by Freida Pinto serves as the Idealist in the film, being highly spiritual and gifted with visions and premonitions of the future.  Indeed it is Phaedra who took notice of Thesseus’ destiny and affinity to the gods, and helped guide him along his path.

A ruthless and bloodthirsty mobilizer named King Hyperion played by Mickey Rourke serves as the Rational in the film, who rose from an unwanted peasant to the most powerful man in Greece.  Hyperion is a mercilessly efficient leader and does whatever needs to be done to fulfill his aim of de-throning the tryanny of the Olympians.

The King of the Gods Zeus played by Luke Evans serves as the Guardian in the film, as the one who must enforce the rules of the Gods at all costs, while also protecting his Olympian family from the threat of the Titans.  Indeed Zeus is forced to execute martial law when one of his fellow Olympians breaks the rule of not interfering in human affairs.  He is also ultimately forced to defend his family’s right to the throne of Mount Olympus, which is probably the coolest part of the film.

Quote1.png If there was one human who could lead them against Hyperion, it would be Theseus.  But it has to be his choice. Quote2.png

Zeus (Immortals)

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Imperious Logistics

Filmmakers are reportedly looking to cast an unknown actress for the lead role of Artemesia in the 300 sequel titled 300: Battle of Artmesia, with screen testing to happen soon.  The films events will be concurrent with the first film (which was a fictionalized account of the battle of Thermopylae), and will be told from the point of view of the Persian King Xerxes. A synopsis tell us that ‘Artemesia’ entices Xerxes to go to war using her “vindictive charm”.  While the idiots in Hollywood that made 300 and that are going to make its sequel are rampant morons and are giving us a highly inaccurate account of what are actually pretty dope historical events (the Greco-Persian wars), let’s not dampen the mood and proceed by taking a look at the son of Darius the Great: mighty King Xerxes I of Persia.

King Xerxes son of Darius and Atossa of the Persian Empire was dubbed the ‘chosen king’ of Persia being a descendent of both Darius the Great and Cyrus the Great.  Naturally he came to be called what?  You guessed it.  Xerxes the Great.  Xerxes was crowned and succeeded his father in October 486 BC at the age of 36.  Xerxes’ ascension to the throne was a smooth transition, as he immediately quelled active revolts in Egypt and Babylon.  Xerxes’ first major undertaking as King of Persia of course was the second Persian invasion of Greece, an immense campaign that his father had made preparations for but could not lead due to his failing health.  Xerxes then finished preparations and led his highly regimented and extremely diverse Persian army of more than two million strong across the Hellespont.  Moving two million soldiers across a continent being a supreme logistical feat in and of itself, Xerxes topped such an accomplishment by bridging the Hellespont, an engineering and organizational triumph.  The first attempt to bridge the Hellespont was not successful and in classic Guardian fashion Xerxes had the Hellespont Sea literally whipped for its impudence.  Supremely authoritative, strictly commanding, extremely directive, and a logistical genius King Xerxes is undoubtedly a Supervisor Guardian.  Indeed Xerxes led the Achaemenid Empire with an iron fist.  Disobeying orders, rank, or command was fatal as Xerxes like many Supervisors was extremely ‘eager to enforce rules and procedures’.  Supervisors however do ‘have a tendency to jump to conclusions too quickly’ as evidenced by Xerxes ordering a body of water to be whipped.  Xerxes makes another brash decision after besting the Greek forces with some resistance (at Thermopylae as portrayed in 300), he reportedly had Athens burned out of spite.  Realizing that his anger may have gotten the best of him, Xerxes ordered the city rebuilt the next day.  The Battle of Thermopylae took place simultaneously with the naval Battle of Artemisium, the events of which the upcoming film will no doubt portray in typical moronic Hollywood fashion.  300: Battle of Artemisia is slated for a 2013 release.

Quote1.png There’s no turning back for either side of this conflict, only the question of who strikes first and who gets struck.  Either our land will be theirs, or theirs will be ours; our mutual hatred allows no compromise.Quote2.png

Xerxes I of Persia

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