HBO Max original show Friends premiered September 22nd, 1994.
#Friends has 19M followers on Facebook.
rottentomatoes: 78%
metacritic: 65
imdb: 8.9
emmys: 6 wins
golden globes: 1 win
SAG awards: 2 wins
Ross Geller
Ross Geller is a palaeontologist living in New York City, New York.
“Hi. I feel like someone grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth… …and tied it around my neck. Thanks. No. No, don’t! Stop cleansing my aura. Just leave my aura alone, okay? I’ll be fine. All right? Really. I hope she’ll be very happy. No, I don’t. To hell with her. She left me! No! Okay? Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn’t know. How should I know? See, but I don’t want to be single, okay? I just wanna be married again. Hey. Oh, God.” — Ross Geller
“You can see where he’d have trouble. Paul, the wine guy, Paul? He finally asked you out? That’d be good. No, go on! It’s Paul, the wine guy. So, Rachel, what are you up to tonight? Right. You’re not even getting your honeymoon. God. No, no. Although, Aruba. Heh. This time of year? Eh. Talk about your… …big lizards. Anyway, if you don’t feel like being alone tonight… …Joey and Chandler are helping me with my furniture. Oh, sure. Okay. Sure.” — Ross Geller
“I’m supposed to attach a bracket-y thing to the side things… …using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no bracket-y thing, I see no worm guys whatsoever… …and I cannot feel my legs. This was Carol’s favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can. I should have known. You guys. You know what’s scary? What if there’s only one woman for everybody? I mean, what if you get one woman, and that’s it? Unfortunately, in my case, there was only one woman for her. Anyway… I honestly don’t know if I’m hungry or horny. ‘Grab a spoon.’ Do you know how long it’s been since I grabbed a spoon? Do the words, ‘Billy, don’t be a hero,’ mean anything to you? You know, here’s the thing. Even if I could get it together enough… …to ask a woman out… …who am I gonna ask?” — Ross Geller
“We’re looking for an answer more sophisticated than: ‘to get you into bed.’ You got a job? The word you’re looking for is: ‘anyway…’ oh, come on. Cut. Cut. Hey. No. No, I gotta go home sometime. Yeah. Good night. Hmm. No. Oh, no. Go. Split it? Okay. You probably didn’t know this, but back in high school I had… …a major crush on you. You did? Oh. I figured you thought I was Monica’s geeky older brother. Oh. Listen, do you think– and try not to let my vulnerability become any kind of a factor here. Do you think it would be okay if I ask you out sometime, maybe? Okay. Okay, maybe I will. Good night. Mm-hm. I just grabbed a spoon.” — Ross Geller
“Yeah, and it’s not that we don’t like the comedian. It’s just that that’s not… …why we bought the ticket. No, it’s good. It is good. It’s just that, doesn’t she seem a little angry? Does she? Marsha, see, these are cave people. Okay, they have issues like: ‘gee, that glacier’s getting kind of close.’ See? No, no. Okay. Yes. Yes, it is. How about I’ll catch up with you in the Ice Age? Hi. You look great. I hate that. Well, you know, in here, anyone who… …stands erect… so, what’s new? Still a– well… you never know. How’s, um–? How’s the family? Carol, why are you here, Carol? Pregnant.” — Ross Geller
Rachel Green
Outstanding Lead Actress In A Comedy Series
1 win: 2002
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy
1 win: 2003
“Oh, God, Monica! Hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and this guy with a hammer said… …that you might be here, and you are. Sure! Hi. Oh, God! Well, it started about a half-hour before the wedding. I was in this room with all the presents… …and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Limoges gravy boat. When all of a sudden– Sweet ‘N Low?– I realized… …I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry. Then I got really freaked out and that’s when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. You know, I mean, I always knew he looked familiar, but… anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering: ‘why am I doing this?’ and ‘who am I doing this for?’ Anyway, I just didn’t know where to go, and I know you and I have drifted apart… …but you’re the only person I know in the city. Oh, I was kind of hoping that wouldn’t be an issue.”
“Daddy, I just– I can’t marry him. I’m sorry. I just don’t love him. Well, it matters to me. Come on, Daddy, listen to me! It’s like all of my life, everyone’s always told me, ‘you’re a shoe! You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe!’ Then today I stopped and said, ‘what if I don’t wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse? You know? Or a hat?’ I don’t want you to buy me a hat. I am a hat. It’s a metaphor, Daddy! Look, Daddy, it’s my life. Well, maybe I’ll just stay here with Monica. Well, maybe that’s my decision. Well, maybe I don’t need your money. Wait! Wait! I said maybe! I’m all better now. Please, no. Go, I’ll be fine. Well, I was supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon… …so, nothing. Actually, thanks, but I’m just gonna hang out here tonight. It’s been a long day.”
“Barry, I’m sorry. I am so sorry. You probably think it’s about making love with your socks on, but it isn’t. It isn’t, it’s about me. And I– hi. Machine cut me off again. Oh! See. But Joanie loved Chachi. That’s the difference.”
“Isn’t this amazing? I mean, I have never made coffee before in my life. Good morning. So, like, you guys all have jobs? Wow. Would I have seen you in anything? I can see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow, are you in trouble! Oh, wish me luck! I’m gonna go get one of those job things.”
“Guess what? Are you kidding? I’m trained for nothing. I was laughed out of 12 interviews today. Well, you would be too if you found Joan and David boots on sale… …50 percent off. They’re my new ‘I don’t need a job or my parents. I’ve got great boots’ boots. Uh, credit card. Um, my father.”
“I know that. That’s why I’m getting married. Thank you. I don’t think so. Look what I just found on the floor. What? Oh, boy. Good night. Hmm. Oh, sorry. No, have it, really. Okay. Thanks. I knew. I did. Yeah. Maybe. Good night. Would anybody like more coffee? I’m just serving it. Everything you need to know is in that first kiss. Yeah, well, word of advice: bring back the comedian. Otherwise, you’re gonna find yourself… …sitting at home listening to that album alone.”
Monica Geller
“There’s nothing to tell. It’s just some guy I work with. Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It’s just two people going out to dinner and not having sex. That one, I’ve never heard. Are you okay, sweetie? Carol moved her stuff out today. Let me get you some coffee. No, you don’t. Rachel? Decaf. Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. This is everybody. This is Chandler and Phoebe… …and Joy. And remember my brother, Ross? So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids? Who wasn’t invited to the wedding.”
“I’m guessing he bought her the big pipe organ… …and she’s really not happy about it. I guess we’ve established she’s staying with Monica. Okay. Just breathe, that’s it. Just try to think of nice, calm things. Look, this is probably for the best, you know? Independence. Taking control of your life. Joey, stop hitting on her. It’s her wedding day. Buzz him in. Maybe. Yes. Rach, wait, I can cancel. Ross, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay? Really? Hi, come in. Paul, this is… …everybody. Everybody, this is Paul. Okay. Sit down. Two seconds.”
“Oh, my God. My brother’s going through that. He’s such a mess. How did you get through it? Leg? You actually broke her watch? What? What? You wanna spell it out with noodles? Oh, so there’s gonna be a fifth date? Yeah, yeah. I think there is. What were you gonna say? Oh, God! Oh, God! I am so– I’m so sorry. Being spit on is probably not what you need right now. Um… how long? Wow! I’m glad you smashed her watch. Yeah. Yeah, I do.”
“Good morning. Hello, Paul. I had a really great time last night. We’ll talk later, okay? Shut up and put my table back. Yeah, we all have jobs. See, that’s how we buy stuff. Unless you happened to catch the Wee One’s production of Pinocchio. So how are you doing today? Did you sleep okay? Did you talk to Barry? I can’t stop smiling. I know. He’s just so– remember you and Tony De Marco? Well, it’s like that. With feelings. Okay, okay. I am just going to get up, go to work… …and not think about him all day. Or else I’ m just gonna get up and go to work. What for?”
“Hey, Franny. Welcome back. How was Florida? How do you do that? You know Paul? You mean, you know Paul like I know Paul? Why? Why would anybody do something like that? Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs… …and men with severe emotional problems can hear? I just thought he was nice, you know? How’d you pay for them? And who pays for that?”
“You can’t live off your parents your whole life. All right. You ready? All right. Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it. Well, that’s it. You gonna crash on the couch? Are you gonna be okay? That’s Paul’s watch. You can just put it back where you found it. All right. Good night, everybody. See you. Wait, wait. Hey, what’s with you? What? I said you had– would you stop?”
“What you guys don’t understand is… …for us, kissing is as important as any part of it. Absolutely. Are you through with that? Thanks.”
Phoebe Buffay
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
1 win: 1998
Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Comedy Series
1 win: 2000
“Wait. Does he eat chalk? I don’t want her to go through what I went through with Carl. Oh. No. Oh. Ew. Unh.”
“Push her down the stairs! Raindrops on roses And whiskers on kittens Doorbells and sleigh bells And something with mittens Lala la something With string. I helped. Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can’t be good. Oh, I wish I could, but I don’t want to.”
“All right, come here. Give me your feet. Give her a break. It’s hard being on your own for the first time. You’re welcome. I remember when I first came to this city, I was 14. My mom had just killed herself and my stepdad was back in prison. And I got here, and I didn’t know anybody. I ended up living with this albino guy who was cleaning windshields… …outside Port Authority. And then he killed himself. And then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel. Cut, cut, cut.”
“I can’t believe What I’m hearing here What? I said you had–. Oh, was I doing it again? Oh, yeah. Then I’ve already seen this one.”
Joey Tribbiani
“Come on. You’re going out with a guy. There’s gotta be something wrong with him. Oh, yeah. I’ve had that dream. Instead of– this guy says ‘hello,’ I wanna kill myself. Oh. And you never knew she was a lesbian. All right, Ross. Look, you’re feeling a lot of pain right now. You’re angry. You’re hurting. Strip joints! Come on, you’re single. Have home hormones.”
“I say push her down the stairs. Push her down the stairs! And, hey, is you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live right across the hall. And he’s away a lot. What? Like there’s a rule or something? Who’s Paul? Wait a minute. Your ‘not a real date’ is with Paul, the wine guy? Paul, the wine guy. Wine guy. Hey, Pheebs, you wanna help?”
“What’s this? Done with the bookcase. Hey. Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV. What did you get? You got screwed. What are you talking about? One woman. That’s like saying there’s only one flavor of ice cream for you. Let me tell you something, Ross. There’s lots of flavors out there. There’s rocky road and cookie dough and bing cherry vanilla. You can get them with jimmies or nuts or whipped cream. This is the best thing that ever happened to you. You got married. You were like, what, 8? Welcome back to the world. Grab a spoon.”
“Congratulations. While you’re on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make a Western omelet or something… although, actually I’m really not that hungry this morning. Morning. That wasn’t a real date. What the hell do you do on a real date? Okay. Yeah, I’m an actor. Oh, I doubt it. Mostly regional work. I will not take this abuse.”
“Of course it was a line. I can’t believe you didn’t know it was a line. Cut, cut, cut. Can’t believe what I’m hearing. Yes. Yeah, right. You serious? Are we still talking about sex? Yeah, sorry, the swallowing slowed me down.”
Chandler Bing
“So does he have a hump and a hair piece? Sounds like a date to me. I’m back in high school, in the middle of the cafeteria… …and I realize I’m totally naked. Then I look down and I realize there is a phone… …there. That’s right! All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. And it turns out it’s my mother. Which is very, very weird because she never calls me. Cookie? Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. Did I say that out loud? And I just want a million dollars!”
“She should not be wearing those pants. Push her down the stairs! Please don’t do that again. It’s a horrible sound. Ooh. This is a ‘dear diary’ moment. I didn’t catch your name. Paul, was it? Yes, and we’re very excited about it.”
“I have no idea. All finished. Oh, God. Oh, my God. Then stay out of my freezer. That is amazing. Morning, Paul. Morning. Hi. Paul, is it? All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don’t input those numbers, it doesn’t make much of a difference. ‘Look, Geppeto. I’m real live boy.’ You’re right. I’m sorry. Once I was a wooden boy A little wooden boy.”
“Yet you’re surprisingly upbeat. Oh, how well you know me. Yes. Did you make it or are you just serving it? I’ll have a cup of coffee. Kids, new dream. I’m in Las Vegas. I’m Liza Minnelli. Yeah, I think, for us… …kissing is pretty much like an opening act. I mean, it’s like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through… …before Pink Floyd comes out. See, the problem is, though… …after the concert’s over, no matter how great the show was… …you girls are always looking for the comedian again. I mean, we’re in the car, we’re fighting traffic… …basically just trying to stay awake. I think this is the episode of Three’s Company… …where there’s some kind of misunderstanding.”
Central Perk
“Can I get you some coffee?”
Carol
“Hi. So… sorry. Thanks. You look good too. A lesbian? Marty’s still totally paranoid. Oh, and– I’m pregnant.”
New York
“Uh, it’s Paul. Okay. I know, I know. I’m such an idiot. I should’ve caught on when she went to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get? He might try accidentally breaking something valuable of hers. Say her– heh. That’s one way of going through it, yeah. Me, I went for the watch. Mm. Ever since she walked out on me, I… no, it’s more of a fifth date kind of revelation. Isn’t there? Well…. er, uh– ever since she left me, um… …I haven’t been able to perform… …sexually. Two years. So you still think you might want that fifth date?”
“Morning. Thank you. Thank you so much. Yeah. Thank you.”
“Hey, Monica. You had sex, didn’t you? So, who? Paul, the wine guy? Oh, yeah, I know Paul. Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul. Before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years.”
“Well, she has issues. He’s out banging other women over the head with a club… …while she sits at home trying to get the mastodon smell out of the carpet. Speaking of issues, isn’t that your ex-wife? Yes, it is. Carol, hi.”
