Disney+ original film Home Alone was released November 16th, 1990.
#HomeAlone made $476.6M at the international box office.
rottentomatoes: 66%
metacritic: 63
imdb: 7.7
oscars: 2 nominations
golden globes: 2 nominations
Kevin McCallister
Kevin McCallister is stranded at home for Christmas in Chicago, Illinois.
“Mom, Uncle Frank won’t let me watch the movie, but the big kids can. Why can’t I? It’s not even rated ‘R.’ He’s just being a jerk. Hang up the phone and make me, why don’t you? Dad, nobody will let me do anything. Did I burn down the joint? I don’t think so. I was making ornaments out of fishhooks. I can’t make ornaments out of the old ones, with dry worm guts stuck on ’em.” — Kevin McCallister
“Pack my suitcase? I don’t know how to pack a suitcase. I’ve never done this once in my whole life. That’s what Megan said. I’m not an idiot! Excuse me, puke-breath. I’m a lot smaller than you. I don’t know how to pack a suitcase. Do you know what I should pack? What? This house is so full of people, it makes me sick! When I grow up and get married, I’m livin’ alone! Did you hear me? I’m livin’ alone! I’m livin’ alone!” — Kevin McCallister
“Buzz? Can I sleep in your room? I don’t want to sleep on the hide-a-bed with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he’ll wet the bed. Mummies. Yeow! Pizza? Pizza! Pizza! Did anyone get me a plain cheese? Aah! You moron! He started it! He ate my pizza on purpose. He knows I hate sausage and olives and– why? Shut up. Goodnight, Kevin.” — Kevin McCallister
“Why do I always get treated like scum? How come you didn’t bring more cheese pizzas? I’m the only one getting dumped on. I am upstairs, dummy. The third floor? It’s scary up there. I don’t want to sleep with Fuller. You know about him. He wets the bed. He’ll pee all over me. I know it. I’m sorry. Everyone in this family hates me. I don’t want a new family! I don’t want any family! Families suck! I don’t want to see you again for the rest of my whole life. And I don’t want to see anybody else either. No, I wouldn’t. I hope that I never see any of you jerks again. I wish they would all just disappear.” — Kevin McCallister
“Mom? Hello? Mom? Dad? Mom? Dad? Where are you guys? Buzz? Buzz? Megan? Hello? Hello? Rod? Uncle Frank? Uncle Frank, is this a joke? Megan? Linnie? Is this a joke? It’s only my imagination. Only my imagination. The cars are still here. They didn’t go to the airport. I made my family disappear. I’m free! Free! Free! Aah! Whoo! No clothes on anybody. Sickening! Cool! Firecrackers! I’ll save these for later. Buzz, I’m going through all your private stuff! You better come out and pound me! Buzz, your girlfriend! Woof!” — Kevin McCallister
“Guys, I’m eating junk and watching rubbish! You better come out and stop me! Mom! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! This is ridiculous. Only a wimp would be hiding under the bed. And I can’t be a wimp. I’m the man of the house. Hey! I’m not afraid anymore! I said, I’m not afraid anymore! Do you hear me? I’m not afraid anymore! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!” — Kevin McCallister
“I took a shower, washing every body part with actual soap… including all my major crevices, including in between my toes and in my belly button, which I never did before but sort of enjoyed. I washed my hair with adult-formula shampoo and used cream rinse for that just-washed shine. I can’t seem to find my toothbrush, so I’ll pick one up when I go out today. Other than that, I’m in good shape. Aah! Whoa! All right! Buzz’s life savings. I thought the Murphys went to Florida.” — Kevin McCallister
“Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association? Can you please find out? Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Yee-haw! I’m a criminal. Aah! Sorry. When those guys come back, I’ll be ready.” — Kevin McCallister
Kate McCallister
“Where’s my suitcase? Pete’s brother and his family are here. Oh, it’s crazy. Montreal? Oh, that’s right. Her family’s there. When do you leave? You’re not ready, are you? Kevin, I’m on the phone. When do you come back? Not till then? Kevin, if Uncle Frank says no… then it must be really bad. No, we’re not bringing the dog. We’re putting it in the kennel for the– hey, hey, hey, get off. Kevin, out of the room. Oh, this kid… no, I didn’t have time to do that. Grow a goatee. He was in the garage again playing the glue gun. Peter.”
“I hope you’re all drinking milk. I want to get rid of it. Hey! Don’t you dare. For pizza? Forget it, Frank. We have cash. Kevin, get off of him! Stop– what is the matter with you? Kevin, get upstairs right now. Say goodnight, Kevin. Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. This house is just crazy. We’ve got all these extra kids running around. My brother-in-law drove in from Ohio today. It’s just nuts. Thanks.”
“Oh, no. My husband’s brother transferred to Paris last summer, and both of his kids are still going to school here, and I guess he missed the whole family. He’s giving us all this trip to Paris for the holiday so we can be together. Yes, we hope to leave tomorrow morning. If you’ll excuse me, this one’s a little out of sorts. I’ll be right back. There are 15 people in this house. You’re the only one who has to make trouble. You’re the only one acting up. Now get upstairs. Go. Don’t be silly. Fuller will be up in a little while. Fine. We’ll put him somewhere else. It’s too late. Get upstairs. Then maybe you should ask Santa for a new family. Just stay up there. I don’t want to see you again for the rest of the night. I hope you don’t mean that. You’d feel pretty sad if you woke up tomorrow morning and you didn’t have a family. Then say it again. Maybe it’ll happen.”
“Peter! We slept in! Heather, do a head count. Make sure everyone’s in the vans. Where are the passports and tickets? What? Okay, thanks. Heather! Did you count the heads? Did we miss the flight? Do you believe it? Hope we didn’t forget anything. Don’t you feel like a heel flying first class with all the kids back in coach? Yeah.”
“I have a terrible feeling. That we didn’t do something. Did I turn off the coffee? Did you lock up? Did you close the garage? No, that’s not it. Kevin! How could we do this? We forgot him. What kind of mother am I? Miss, we have to use the phone, please. I’m sorry. It’s an emergency. We really have to make a call. Thank you. I’m sorry, but thank you. Peter, I’m gonna call the police. Why don’t you book us a flight home? Here, get some change out of here. Call everybody you know. Oh. Leslie. Here’s my address book. You and Frank call everybody who lives on our street. Maybe somebody can help us. What am I doing? Hello? Hello? Hello? She’ll have to call you back.”
“Yeah. Hi. Look, I’m calling from Paris. I have a son who’s home alone. Our phones there are out of order, so I’d like somebody to go over to our house and tell him that we’re coming home to get him. No, it’s not a family crisis. I am calling from Paris. I have a son who’s home alone. No. I don’t know. I don’t– I hope not. No, he’s just home alone, and I would like somebody to go over to the house and see that he’s all right, just to check on him. Yes! No, they just transferred me to you. No, please don’t hang up. Please don’t– any luck? Leslie? Somebody pick up. Pick up! Yeah, hi. Look. I’m calling from Paris. I have a son who’s home alone, and I–“
“They’re sending a policeman over to the house to check on Kevin. There’s nothing to Chicago? What about a private plane? Friday morn– that’s two days away. Peter, Kevin is home all by himself. I’m not leaving here unless it’s on an airplane. Yes. I’ll wait. Bye. I’ll miss you. Good-bye.”
Peter McCallister
“Hey, did you by any chance pick up a voltage adapter thing? How am I supposed to shave in France? You don’t have anything to do? I’ve got something for you to do. You can pick up those Micro Machines that are all over in there. Aunt Leslie stepped on one and almost broke her neck. Didn’t we talk about that? My new fishhooks? Come on, Kevin. Out. Here! Here’s a voltage adapter.”
“Hi. Yeah. Yes. Am I under arrest or something? Oh, yeah. Well, we have automatic timers for our lights, locks for our doors. That’s about as well as anybody can do these days. Right? You get some eggnog or something like that? Come on. Honey, the pizza boy need $122.50, plus a tip. Ten pizzas times 12 bucks. You probably get the kind of traveler’s checks that don’t work in France. The passports! Watch it! No, no. Let’s get these passports out of here. Kevin, upstairs!”
“We slept in! I put ’em in the microwave to dry ’em off. Think positive, Frank. This way! Hold the plane. Thank you. We made it. Uh, yeah. Uh, fill it up, fill it up. No, the kids are fine. Only flying I ever did as a kid was in the family station wagon, and it wasn’t to France. We used to have to go over to Aunt Laura and Uncle Arthur’s house. The kids are okay. They’re having the time of their lives.”
“What’s the matter? Honey? About what? Oh, no, you feel that way because we left in such a hurry. We took care of everything. Believe me, we did. No. I did. Yeah. That’s it. I forgot to close the garage. That’s it. What else could we be forgetting? We didn’t forget him. We just… miscounted. I can’t believe that you can’t bump somebody or ask somebody– well, isn’t there a way, like, if you ask somebody? I mean, if you brought somebody up here and explained to them–“
“Well, that’s a relief. Everything here is booked. There’s nothing to Chicago, New York, Nashville. You name it. Everything’s gone. The only thing they have is a booking for all of us on Friday morning. Look, honey, the kids are exhausted. You are exhausted. There’s absolutely nothing more that we can do in this airport. Now, I say we go over to Rob’s, and that way we can call the police again, and they can get back to us. Is that okay? Bye. Find Kevin. Don’t you get lost. Good-bye, Kate.”
“Opera– do you speak English? Uh, parlez anglais? Well, is there– I mean… est ce qui un person qui parle anglais? I am looking for my son! No, I can’t find anybody. They’ve all gone shopping. Nobody’s home for the holidays. Never mind. Forget it.”
Harry
“Miss? Young lady. Excuse me. Girls– hey, hey, little girl. Hey. Excuse me, girls. Girls– Hey. Hey– Ma’am. Excuse me. Ma’am. Excuse me. Ma’am. Ma’am. Hi. Hey, son. Son! Big fella. Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Little guy. Little guy–“
“Pardon me, are your parents home? Excuse me, miss. Are your parents here? Hi! Are your parents home? Do they live here? No. Why should they? All kids, no parents. Probably a fancy orphanage. How you kids doin’, huh? Good? Lot of action around here today, huh? Goin’ on vacation? Where you goin’? Do you hear me or what? Goin’ on a trip? Where you goin’, kid?”
“Not for me, kid. I don’t live here. I guess you could say that. Hey, listen, uh– hi. Are you Mr. McCallister? The Mr. McCallister who lives here? I’d like a word with you, sir. No, no, no, no. It’s Christmas time. There’s always a lot of burglaries around the holidays. So, we’re just checking the neighborhood to see if everyone’s taking the proper precautions, that’s all. Eggnog? Listen, are you gonna be leaving, uh–“
“Having a reunion or something? You’re taking a trip to Paris? Excellent. Excellent. Don’t worry about me. I spoke to your husband already. And don’t worry about your home. It’s in good hands.”
“Five families gone on one block alone. They all told me from their own mouths. Check it out. All the houses with nobody home… have automatic timers on their lights. But I got it all figured out. Watch this. Number 664 will be going on… right about… now. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Number 672… right… now. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 671… now. And that’s the one, Marvin. That’s the silver tuna. Very ‘g,’ huh? It’s loaded. It’s got lots of topflight goods. Stereos, VCRs. Probably lookin’ at some very fine jewelry. Possible cash hoard. Odd marketable securities. Who knows? It’s a gem. Grab your crowbar. Crowbars up.”
“We’ll go around back to the basement. Come on. Follow me. They were supposed to leave this morning. You know, you’re one of the great cat burglars of the world, Marv. You think you could keep it down a little in there, huh? Yeah? Yeah. I knew they were.”
“What’s so funny? What’s so funny? What are you laughin’ at? You did it again, didn’t you? You left the water runnin’, didn’t you? What’s wrong with you? Why do you do that? I told you not to do it. Calling card. You’re sick, you know that? You’re really sick. Yes, you are. That’s a sick thing to do! We don’t need that kind of heat. You’re sick. Hey. Hey! You gotta watch out for traffic, son, you know? Damn. Okay, okay. Merry Christmas. I don’t like the way that kid looked at me. Did you see that? I saw a hundred kids this week. Look, I told you something’s wrong. See, I knew he looked at me weird. Why would he run? I’m not goin’ in there. Ah, let’s get out of here.”
“From Paris? We’ll come back tomorrow. Maybe they’ll be gone by then. We’d better get out of here before somebody sees us.”
Marv
“It’s almost too easy. Oh. Oh, it’s very ‘G.’ Toys. Which way? I thought you said they were gone. Let’s get out of here.”
“Hey, Harry? That house we were at last night, was that the McCallisters? You’re right. They’re gone. Silver tuna tonight. Harry, it’s our calling card. All the great ones leave their mark. We’re the ‘Wet Bandits.’ I’m not sick. I’m not sick! Don’t tell me what to do. I can do it if I want to. I’m not sick. Hey, watch out! Santy don’t visit the funeral homes, little buddy. What’s the matter? You ever seen him before? Let’s see what house he goes into. Why is he goin’ faster? Maybe he went in the church. Me neither.”
“Did they come back?”
Buzz McCallister
“He just ate a whole load of mice guts. He should be good for a couple weeks. Is it true that French babes don’t shave their pits? But they got nude beaches. Don’t you know how to knock, phlegm-wad? I wouldn’t let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass. Check it out, old man Marley. You ever heard of the South Bend Shovel Slayer? That’s him. Back in ’58, he murdered his whole family and half the people on his block… with a snow shovel. Been hiding out in this neighborhood ever since. Not enough evidence to convict. They never found the bodies. But everyone around here knows he did it. Now it’ll just be a matter of time before he does it again. He walks up and down the streets every night salting the sidewalks. No way. See that garbage can full of salt? That’s where he keeps his victims. The salt turns the bodies… into mummies. Look out!”
“Come on, Dad. Let’s eat. Oh, yeah, we did, but if you want any… somebody’s gonna have to barf it all up, ’cause it’s gone. Kev! Kevin, get a plate.”
“What? So? Why should I be? You know, he’s acted like a jerk once too many times, and this time he caught it in the butt.”
Gangster Movie
“Who is it? It’s me, Snakes. I got the stuff. Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell out of here. All right, Johnny. But what about my money? What money? Acey said you had some dough for me. Is that a fact? How much do I owe you? Acey said 10%. Too bad Acey ain’t in charge no more. What do you mean? He’ll call you when he gets out. Hey. I tell you what I’m gonna give you, Snakes. I’m gonna give you to the count of 10… to get your ugly, yellow… no-good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. All right, Johnny, I’m sorry. I’m goin’. 1, 2, 10! Ha ha ha ha! Keep the change, ya filthy animal.”
The McCallisters / friends / Chicago / Paris
“Downstairs! Who stole the hairdryer? Take the wenches. Come on down here.”
“You know, Trish is going to Montreal. And then we’re off. Oh, tomorrow. Of course I’m…”
“Peter, Kate, do you guys have a voltage adapter? Oh, you’re getting heavy. Go pack your suitcase.”
“Do you know where the shampoo is, Fuller? I don’t live here. I don’t believe in a house with this many people, there’s no shampoo? Yeah, but they don’t live here. Tracy, did you order the pizza? Buzz did. My parents live in Paris. Sorry. Hi. Yeah. No.”
“Tough. What did I say? You told Kevin ‘tough.’ The dope was whining about a suitcase. What am I supposed to do? Shake his hand and say, ‘congratulations, you’re an idiot?’ Oh, really? You’re completely helpless! Everyone has to do everything for you. She’s right, Kev. Hey, I hope you didn’t just pack crap, Jeff. Shut up, Linnie. Buzz told toy, cheek-face. Toilet paper and water. Listen, Kev, what are you so worried about? You know Momma’s gonna pack your stuff anyway. You’re what the French call les incompetents. Bombs away! P.S. You have to sleep on the hide-a-bed with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he’s gonna wet the bed.”
“Who’s gonna feed your spider while we’re gone? Some don’t. Not in the winter. Who is he? No. Well, if he’s the Shovel Slayer, how come the cops don’t arrest him? What’s he doin’ now? Maybe he’s just trying to be nice. Wow.”
“Okay, that’s $122.50. Oh, you’re just around for the holidays? Hey, the pizza’s here! Here you go. That’s $122.50. Oh, it’s my brother’s house. He’ll take care of it. Hey, kids, come on… Frank, remember to use the red plastic plates. Oh, good, cause somebody owes me $122.50. Grab yourself a napkin, and you’re gonna have to pour your own drinks. Mom, does Santa Claus have to go through customs? What time do we have to go to bed? Early. We’re leaving the house at 8:00 a.m. on the button. Frank, you’ve got some money, don’t you? Come on. Traveler’s checks. What kind are those? Fuller! Go easy on the Pepsi. Wow! Help me out here! Are you okay, honey? Come here. Are you all right? Look what you did, you little jerk! Kevin, you’re such a disease. Now what’s for dinner? Your brother’s such– like we don’t know. Nice tip. Thanks a lot.”
“Where are they? I don’t know. She said 8:00 sharp. Hi. I’m Mitch Murphy. I live across the street. You guys going out of town? We’re going to Orlando, Florida. Well, actually, first we’re going to Missouri to pick up my grandma. Do you know the McCallisters are going to France? Do you know if it’s cold there? Do these vans get good gas mileage? Gee, kid, I don’t know. Hit the road. How fast does this thing go? Does it have automatic transmission? Does it have 4-wheel drive? Look, I told you before, kid, don’t bother me. Now beat it. Come on. Hurry up. Line up in front of the van. Did you take my batteries? Come on, you guys. Line up and shut up! Wow! Shut up. I gotta take a head count. 1,2,3,4,5… 11, 92, 12… Buzz, don’t be a moron. 6, 7, 8… 9, 10, 11. Okay. Half in this van, half in this van, come on. Let’s go. Have a good trip. Bring me back something French.”
“There’s no way on Earth we’re gonna make this plane. It leaves in 45 minutes. You be positive, I’ll be realistic. Ma’am? Ma’am? Excuse me, I just wanted to let you know that the power’s fixed, but the phone lines are a mess. It’s gonna take Ma Bell a couple of days to patch ’em up. Especially around the holidays. Eleven, including me. Five boys, six girls, four parents, two drivers, and a partridge in a pair tree.”
“No, you just made it. Single seats only in coach, take whatever’s free. Thank you! Bye! I get a window seat! You kids are in coach. We’re up here. Here are your seats. Five A and B and four A and B. I’ll take your coats. Fasten your seat belts, please. Champagne, please. It’s free, isn’t it? Oh, yes. Thank you. That’s real. That’s real crystal. Yeah. So? Put ’em in your purse. Put ’em! Put ’em! Frank, I can’t do that. Just– put them in your purse. Champagne? Fill it up, please. Thank you.”
“The captain’s doing all he can. Your phones are still out of order. We’ll call as soon as we land, Kate. I’m sure everything’s okay. It’s horrible. Horrible. Just horrible. If it makes you feel any better, I forgot my reading glasses.”
“Que faites vous? Que se passe-t-il? Please! Our brother’s home alone. Rendez moi le telephone. Just give us the phone! Village Police Department. Okay, let me connect you with Family Crisis Intervention. Hold on. Larry, can you pick up? There’s some lady on hold, sounds kind of hyper. What line, Rose? Uh, two. Family Crisis Intervention. Sergeant Balzak. Has the child been involved in a violent altercation with a drunken and/or mentally ill member of his immediate family? Has he been involved in a household accident? Has the child ingested any poison and/or any other object that has become lodged in his throat? You want us to go to your house just to check on him? Let me connect you with the police department. Rose? Yeah? Hyper on two. Hold on, please. Hang on.”
“No. We couldn’t get anybody. I’m sorry, Kate. Nothing but a bunch of answering machines. Oh, hi, ma’am. It’s you again. Okay, okay. We’ll send a policeman over to your house to check on your son. There’s no one home. The house looks secure. Tell ’em to count their kids again. 10-4. I’m sorry, but there’s no way I can do that. I wish I could– no, I’m sorry. We don’t do that. Madame, we are doing everything we can. Now, if you want to stay at the airport, maybe we can get you on standby. It is a possibility that a seat will open up.”
“How may I help you? Well, I don’t know. It doesn’t say, hon. Herb! Yeah? I’ve got a question here about a toothbrush. Do you know, is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association. I don’t know. Just tell him that– oh, hon, you pay for that here. Why don’t you just tell him it’s approved? Wait, son, you have to pay for that toothbrush. Son? Son! Hey! Jimmy! Stop that boy! Hey! Hey! Shoplifter! Hey! Hey, kid! Come back here! Stop it, will ya! Come here!”
“Attencion! Attencion! Look what I have found in ze kitchen! Frank, those are for later. Frank? Mes petits enfants, do you want a little shrimp, huh? Did you get anybody? This is so pointless. We’re here rotting in this apartment, Kevin’s at home, Mom’s at the airport. You’re not at all worried about Kevin? But he’s so little and helpless.”
