Disney+ original drama Loki drops its third episode this Wednesday June 23, 2021.
#Loki is on a six week slate / is Disney+’s most watched premiere.
rottentomatoes: 96%
metacritic: 73
imdb: 9.2
Loki Laufeyson
Loki Laufeyson accepts a plea bargin to help track down another iteration of himself outside of the Time Variance Authority.
“On my way down to coordinate search and rescue. I mean, honestly, how do you keep your food down? Breathe, breathe.” — Loki Laufeyson
“I am Loki of Asgard. And I am burdened with glorious purpose. I… never mind. Don’t touch that. I beg your pardon. I’m sorry. Who’s ‘us?’ It’s been a very long day, and I think I’ve had my fill of idiots in armored suits telling me what to do, so, if you don’t mind, this is actually your last chance. Now get out of my way.” — Loki Laufeyson
“What is this place? It’s the Tesseract. Be very careful with it. Know this. You cross me, there are deadly consequences.” — Loki Laufeyson
“Hey, hey! Absolutely not. This is fine Asgardian leather. Now, hang on just a minute. What? Oh, this is absurd. What? ‘To my knowledge?’ Do a lot of people not know if they’re robots? What if I was a robot and I didn’t know it? Please move along, sir. Okay, I’m not a robot, so I’ll be fine. What? Oh, what’s that? What’s that? There’s only two of us in here.” — Loki Laufeyson
“This is a mistake! I shouldn’t be here! Time-Keepers? The Sacred Timeline? Who actually believes this bunkum?” — Loki Laufeyson
“Madam, a god doesn’t plead. This has been a very enjoyable pantomime, but I’d like to go home now. Guilty of being the God of Mischief? Yes. Guilty of finding all this incredibly tedious? Yes. Guilty of a crime against the Sacred Timeline? Absolutely not, you have the wrong person. I suspect, the Avengers. I came into possession of the Tesseract because they traveled through time, no doubt in a last-ditch effort to stave off my ascent to God King. Oh, believe me, you can smell the cologne of two Tony Starks. You speak of Time Criminals? It’s they you should be after. Perhaps you could provide me with a taskforce and resources, and I could return and eliminate them for you. Oh, no? Right. Uh… ‘not supposed to happen?’ According to whom? Oh, the Time-Keepers. Right. Well, perhaps I should speak to these Time-Keepers, gods to gods. Oh, they are? What are they doing? I see. Right. And then what do you do? Guilty… of this. Hang on. Everyone quiet. Don’t rush me. Damn it! Why won’t it work? ‘Reset?’ What does that mean? What, is it bad? What does it mean? Hey! You ridiculous bureaucrats will not dictate how my story ends! You have no idea what I’m capable of!” — Loki Laufeyson
“And who are you? I’m gonna burn this place to the ground. I thought there was no magic here. That’s not real. This place is a nightmare.” — Loki Laufeyson
“Are you taking me somewhere to kill me? I don’t like to talk. How long have you been here? What does that mean? So, you’re part of the TVA’s courageous and dedicated workforce? You were created by the Time-Keepers. To protect the Sacred Timeline. The idea that your little club decides the fate of trillions of people across all of existence at the behest of three space lizards, yes, it’s funny. It’s absurd. For the record, this really does feel like a killing-me kind of a room. Trust is for children and dogs. There’s only one person you can trust.” — Loki Laufeyson
“If the TVA truly oversees all of time, how have I never heard of you until now? I live within whatever path I choose. What do you want from me? Not my forte. You don’t know anything about me. Like myself? Finish what I started. Claim my throne. I don’t want to be, I was born to be. You wouldn’t understand. Midgard. Space? Mock me if you dare. I would’ve made it easy for them. The first and most oppressive lie ever uttered was the song of freedom. For nearly every living thing, choice breeds shame and uncertainty and regret. There’s a fork in every road, yet the wrong path always taken. The Time-Keepers have built quit the circus, and I see the clowns are playing their parts to perfection. I am smart. Okay.” — Loki Laufeyson
“What is this? No. And I remember. I was there. Anything else? You know, things didn’t turn out so well for the last person who said that to me. Little solace to a dead man. Your games don’t frighten me. I know what I am. A liberator. I don’t have to play this game. I’m a god. No, I don’t suppose you do. What can I say? I’m a mischievous scamp. I fail to see how this has any relevance or bearing on… I was young, and I lost a bet to Thor. Where was the TVA when I was meddling with these affairs of men? So that had the Time-Keepers’ seal of approval, did it? What is it that you think that you’re really running from? I was just standing up to make a point. It won’t be as meaningful now. I’ll do what I want to do. What exactly is it that you want? Liar. I know what this is. It’s an illusion. It’s a cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear. A desperate attempt at control. Now, you all parade about as if you’re the divine arbiters of power in the universe. You’re not. My choices are my own. Precisely. I am on the verge of acquiring everything I am owed, and when I do, it’ll be because I did it. Not because it was supposed to happen. Or because you or the Time Variance Authority, or whatever it is you call yourselves, allowed me to. Honestly, you’re pathetic. You’re an irrelevance. A detour. A footnote to my ascent.” — Loki Laufeyson
Agent Mobius
“You think? Yeah, stab wounds look consistent with the others. Positioning of the bodies indicates they didn’t know what the hell hit ’em. And reset charge is gone. That we know of. Wait, stand down! Stand down. It’s just a kid. I’m sorry… …my friend is an imbecile. Tap it. Do you know who did this? Don’t worry, that devil’s afraid of us. We’re gonna take care of him. And we’re gonna put you back where you belong. That blue… what is that? Devil bearing gifts. Go ahead and run this sequence period and any hints of temporal aura. You know we won’t get anything. Yeah, just give it a shot. Okay. Go wait outside. It’s okay.”
“I… I think I might. Have an idea of what he’s capable of. Hi. Okay, I’m just chasing a hunch. Okay. I feel like I’m always looking up to you. I like it. It’s appropriate.”
“I’ll show you where my desk it, you can start there. Have a look. Home sweet home. There isn’t. It is, and unfortunately, so is all the paperwork. Good tinder for your fire, though. Come on. That’s another department. Now that department I’ll help you burn down.”
“I’m Agent Mobius, by the way. No. That’s where you just were. I’m taking you some place to talk. But you do like to lie, which you just did. Because we both know you love to talk. Talkie-talkie. I don’t know. It’s hard to say, time passes differently here in the TVA. You’ll catch up. Yes. Yep. Correct. Is that funny? I thought you didn’t like to talk. After you. Not big on trust, are you? Yourself. I like it. Slap it on a T-shirt.”
“‘Cause you’ve never needed to. ‘Cause you’ve always lived within your set path. Sure you do. Okay, come have a seat. I told you, time moves differently in the TVA. Come on, sit down. Let’s get into this. Go on, have a seat. If looks could kill. Well, let’s start with a little cooperation. Really? Even when you’re wooing someone powerful you intend to betray? Come on. I specialize in the pursuit of dangerous variants. no, particularly dangerous Variants. You’re just a little pussycat. I got a set of questions for you. You answer them honestly, and then maybe I can give you something you want. You wanna get out of here, right? Yeah, so we’ll start there. Should you return, what are you gonna do? Which is? You wanna be king? I know, but king of what exactly? Try me. AKA Earth. All right. Now you’re the king of Midgard, then what? Happily ever after? Asgard, the Nine Realms. Space? Space is big. That’d be a nice feather in your cap. ‘Loki, the King of Space.’ No, I’m not. Honestly, I’m actually a fan. Yeah. And I’m wondering why does someone with so much range just wanna rule? People like easy. How’s that one go? For nearly every living thing, choice breeds shame and uncertainty and regret. How’s that one go? Good. Yeah. You said ‘nearly every living thing,’ so I’m guessing you don’t fall into that category? Big metaphor buy. I love it. Makes you sound super smart. I know.”
“A sampling of your greatest hits, if I may. It’s funny, for someone born to rule, you sure do lose a lot. You might even say it’s in your nature. Oh, yeah, Phil Caulson. Didn’t the Avengers literally avenge him by defeating you? Do you enjoy hurting people? Making them feel small? Making them feel little? A murderer? Of eyeballs, maybe. Look at that smile. You are enjoying that. Did you enjoy hurting them? Of what, again? Mischief, right? Yeah. I don’t see anything very mischievous about this. Let’s talk about your escapes. You’re really good at doing awful things, and then just getting away. This is one of my favorites. No. This is the good part. I can’t believe you were D.B. Cooper. Come on! We were right there with you, just surfing that Sacred Timeline. Well, I wouldn’t think of it in terms of approval and disapproval. That’s sort of a… let’s get back to escapes… ..and a little psychobabble. Enough. Back in your cage. see, I can play the heavy keys, too. I’m sorry, go ahead. Okay, well, stay seated. Sure. I want you to be honest about why you do what you do. I’m serious. All I seek is a deeper understanding of the fearsome God of Mischief. What makes Loki tick? What is it? We are. Your choice is your own. Good, let’s go with that. I think this one’s gonna fire you up. You finished? You’re gonna start taking things seriously. If you hadn’t picked up the Tesseract, you would have been taken to a cell in Asgard.”
Judge Ravonna Renslayer
“Next case, please. Laufeyson. Variant L1130, AKA Loki Laufeyson, is charged with sequence violation 7-20-89. How do you plead? Are you guilty or not guilty, sir? Oh, really? And who should we have? That’s quite an accusation. We’re not here to talk the Avengers. No. What they did was supposed to happen. You escaping was not. The Time-Keepers? I’m sorry, but they’re quite busy. Dictating the proper flow of time. Dictate the proper flow of time according to their dictations. How do you plead? What’s going on? Magic powers? They’re no good in the TVA, Mr. Laufeyson. The court finds you guilty, and I sentence you to be reset. Next case, please! It’s not your story, Mr. Laufeyson. It never was. Approach the bench. If you’re thinking what I think you are, it’s a bad idea. Anything goes sideways, it’s on you.”
Hunter B-15
“Appears to be a standard sequence violation. Branch is growing at a stable rate and slope. Variant identified. On behalf of the Time Variance Authority, I hereby arrest you for crimes against the Sacred Timeline. Hands up. You’re coming with us. Last chance, Variant. You are now moving at 1/16th speed, but feeling all that pain in real time. Reset the timeline.”
“Come on. Log this as evidence. We’ll see.”
“He’s trying to use his powers, ma’am.”
Miss Minutes
“Hey there! You’re probably saying, ‘this is a mistake. I shouldn’t even be here.’ Welcome to the Time Variance Authority. I’m Miss Minutes, and it’s my job to catch you up before you stand trial for your crimes. So let’s not waste another minute. Settle in, sharpen your pencils, and check this out. Long ago, there was a vast multiversal war. Countless unique timelines battled each other for supremacy, nearly resulting in the destruction of… …well, everything. But then, the all-knowing Time-Keepers emerged, bringing peace by reorganizing the multiverse into a single timeline, the Sacred Timeline. Now, the Time-Keepers protect and preserve the proper flow of time for everyone and everything. But sometimes, people like you veer off the path the Time-Keepers created. We call those Variants. Maybe you started an uprising, or were just late for work. Whatever it was, stepping off your path created a nexus event, which, left unchecked, could branch off into madness, leading to another multiversal war. But, don’t worry, to make sure that doesn’t happen, the Time-Keepers created the TVA and all its incredible workers. The TVA has stepped in to fix your mistake and set time back on its predetermined path. Now that your actions have left you without a place on the timeline, you must stand trail for your offenses. So sit tight, and we’ll get you in front of a judge in no time. Just make sure you have your ticket, you’ll be seen by the next available attendant. For all time. Thanks for visiting the TVA. Don’t hesitate to let us know how we’re doing.”
TVA Robot
“Hold very still.”
Captain America
“On my way down to coordinate search and rescue.”
Thor
“Shut up. Hey, hey. Buddy! Take the stairs. Stark? Where’s Loki?! Loki! Loki!”
Iron Man
“Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! What do you think? Maximum occupancy has been reached. Yeah. Stop, stop. Good job. Meet me in the alley. I’m gonna grab a quick slice.”
Hulk
“No stairs!”
Agent
“Hand over the case, Stark. Hand it over. Stark?”
Mongolian
“Who are you? Why have you come to our home?”
Time Variance Authority Employee 1
“What species? Hello, ma’am, uh… oh… can you at least tell me what it is? It sounds dumb.”
Time Variance Authority Detainee 1
“Variant Skrull.”
Time Variance Authority Detainee 2
“My dad is on the board of Goldman Sachs. One call and your whole job is privatized. You’re making a terrible mistake.”
“What is this, a deli? No.”
“He didn’t give me a ticket, I asked. I tried to ask that guy for a ticket! What, you’re raising your voice at me, bucket head?”
Man 3
“All right.”
Man 4
“How’d you like that? You’re making a big mistake. Whoa!”
Man 1
“Hello, sir.”
Time Variance Authority Employee 3
“Please sign to verify this is everything you’ve ever said. Sign this, too. And this.”
Time Variance Authority Employee 4
“Please confirm to your knowledge that you are not a fully robotic being, were born an organic creature, and do in fact possess what many cultures would call a soul. Thank you for confirming. Move through. The machine would melt you from the inside out. Your temporal aura. Please, through the door.”
Minuteman 1
“Take a ticket. Take a ticket. Take a ticket.”
Minuteman 2
“Ticket, sir? Ticket, sir! Sir…”
TVA Commercial
“Always.”
TVA Employee 5
“Sir, there’s something you’ll wanna see.”
Minuteman 3
“The hunter and his Minutemen responded to a routine nexus event. It appears that when they arrived, somebody got the jump on ’em.”
Archival Footage
“If it’s all the same to you… I’ll have that drink now.”
“No!”
“From the flight deck, Captain William A. Scott, Northwest Orient Airlines 305, on schedule to land in Seattle. Flight time today, approximately…”
“Bourbon and soda?”
“Thank you.”
“Absolutely.”
“Is there anything else I can do for you, sir?”
“I suppose we’ll find out, won’t we?”
“Uh, Miss?”
“Yes, Mr. Cooper?”
“You might want to take a look at that note.”
“I have a bomb.”
“See you again someday.”
“Brother, Heimdall, you better be ready.”
“The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life’s joy in a mad scramble for power…”
“Loki.”
“Hello, mother. Have I”
Hunter U-92
“It’s him. That’s the sixth attack in the last week. Hey! Hey, yo! I speak every language on the timeline too. Jackass. The branch is nearing red line. We need to go. Set a reset charge.”
