The Wolf of Wall Street, Paramount+, Paramount Pictures, Red Granite Pictures, Appian Way, Sikelia Productions, EMJAG Productions

Wall Street

Paramount+ original film The Wolf of Wall Street was released December 25th, 2013.

#TheWolfofWallStreet cleared $406.8M at the international box office.

rottentomatoes: 80%

metacritic: 75

imdb: 8.2

oscars: 5 nominations

golden globes: 1 win

Jordan Belfort, The Wolf of Wall Street, Paramount+, Red Granite Pictures, Appian Way, Sikelia Productions, EMJAG Productions, Leonardo DiCaprio
Jordan Belfort, The Wolf of Wall Street, Paramount+, Red Granite Pictures, Appian Way, Sikelia Productions, EMJAG Productions, Leonardo DiCaprio

Jordan Belfort

Jordan Belfort learns the craft of being a stockbroker in New York City, New York.

Jordan Belfort, The Wolf of Wall Street, Paramount+, Red Granite Pictures, Appian Way, Sikelia Productions, EMJAG Productions, Leonardo DiCaprio

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role

1 nomination: 2014

Best Actor – Motion Picture – Musical/Comedy

1 win: 2014

“Twenty-five grand to the first cocksucker to nail a bull’s eye! Come on! Let’s go! My name is Jordan Belfort. Not him. Me. That’s right. I’m a former member of the middle class raised by two accountants in a tiny apartment in Bayside, Queens. The year I turned 26, as the head of my own brokerage firm, I made $49 million, which really pissed me off because it was three shy of a million a week.” — Jordan Belfort

“No, no, no. My Ferrari was white, like Don Johnson’s in Miami Vice. Not red. See that humungous estate down there? That’s my house. My wife, Naomi, the Duchess of Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, a former model and Miller Lite girl. Yeah. She was the one with my cock in her mouth in the Ferrari. So put your dick back in your pants. In addition to Naomi and my two perfect kids, I own a mansion, private jet, six cars, three horses, two vacation homes, and a 170-foot yacht.” — Jordan Belfort

“I also gamble like a degenerate. I drink like a fish. I fuck hookers maybe five, six times a week. I have three different federal agencies looking to indict me. Oh, yeah, and I love drugs. Okay. One more round.” — Jordan Belfort

“Relax! Just relax. You okay? Till the next time, brother. Yup, one a daily basis I consume enough drugs to sedate Manhattan, Long Island and Queens for a month. I take Quaaludes 10 to 15 times a day for my ‘back pain’, Adderall to stay focused, Xanax to take the edge off, pot to mellow me out, cocaine to wake me back up again and morphine, well, because it’s awesome. Good morning, Nathan. But of all the drugs under God’s blue heaven, there is one that is my absolute favorite. You see, enough of this shit’ll make you invincible. Able to conquer the world, and eviscerate your enemies. Ah! And I’m not talking about this. I’m talking about this. See, money doesn’t just buy you a better life, better food, better cars, better pussy. It also makes you a better person. You can give generously to the church or political party of your choice. You can save the fucking spotted owl with money. I always wanted to be rich. So let me go back.” — Jordan Belfort

“I’m 22 years old, newly married, and already a money-crazed little shit. So what do I do? I go to the one place on Earth that befit my high-minded ambitions. No. No problem at all. A million dollars? I could only imagine what a douchebag that guy must be. Yes, sir. Please to meet you. I had to do something to stand out. Right, sir? Yeah.” — Jordan Belfort

“You want to know what money sounds like? Go to a trading floor on Wall Street. ‘Fuck’ this, ‘shit’ that. ‘Cunt,’ ‘cock,’ ‘asshole.’ I couldn’t believe how these guys talked to each other. I was hooked in seconds. It was like mainlining adrenaline. Sir. Yes, sir. Jordan Belfort.” — Jordan Belfort

“Oh, no. Thank you, though. I’m good with water for now. Thank you. Mr. Hanna? You’re able to do drugs during the day and then still function, still do your job? Right. Well, I got to say, I’m incredibly excited to be a part of your firm. I mean… the clients you have are absolutely… I’m married. I have a wife. Her name is Teresa. She cuts hair. Thank you. Right. But if you make your clients money at the same time, it’s advantageous to everyone. Correct? Mm-hmm. Uh. Fugayzi. It’s a fake. Right. Mmm-hmm. No. Okay. Right. Right. That’s incredible, sir. I can’t tell you how excited I am. Thank you.” — Jordan Belfort

“Yeah. Do I… do I jerk off? Yeah. Yeah, I jerk off. Yeah. Like, um, three or four. Three or four times, maybe five. Wow. Really? Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. Done. Mmm-hmm. No, I don’t want to implode, sir. I’m in it for the long run, you know? Yeah.” — Jordan Belfort

“Right. Revolutions. Hmm. Thank you. Ah.” — Jordan Belfort

“The next six months I got to know ins and outs of Wall Street. Earning shit money as I geared up to take my Series 7. Oh! Oh, fuckers. Oh! Then I was a licensed broker at last, ready to make my fortune. My first day as a future Master of the Universe.” — Jordan Belfort

“I have Exxon at 86 1/4 six months ago. Today it is trading at 36 1/2. Mr… they called it Black Monday. No shit. By 4:00 p.m., the market had dropped 508 points. The biggest plummet since the crash of ’29. Unbelievable. My first shitty day as a broker. Within a month, L.F. Rothschild, an institution since 1899, closed its doors. Wall Street had swallowed me up and shit me right back out again.” — Jordan Belfort

“Babe. Will you listen to me? You’re not pawning anything. Okay? What do I always tell you? That’s right. Okay? Just let me look. We’ll find something. How about this? Nobody beats the Wiz, the electronic store. Stock boy. What do you think? Yeah, but, you know, you start off… I know. It’s sales. You work your way up, you’ll be a general manager. Why not? You understand that nobody’s hiring stockbrokers right now? You understand that? Okay? ‘Stockbrokers.’ In Long Island? Stockbrokers in Long Island?” — Jordan Belfort

“Hey, uh, I’m looking for Investor’s Center. No. Investor’s Center. I’m looking for Investor’s Center. You’re Dwayne? Hi, Dwayne. We spoke on the phone. I’m Jordan Belfort. I’m the broker from Rothschild in New York. We had a conversation… right. Two hours ago. So, uh… so where are your Quotrons here? Yeah. Your computers. Pink sheets? Penny stocks? Aerotyne, yeah. Aerotyne. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Good company. Six cents a share? Hey, come on. Who buys this crap? Hustler? Yeah, yeah. Nudie mag. Yeah. Is this… is this stuff regulated or are you guys… what are you doing here? Sort of? Jesus Christ, the spread on these is huge. Mine… Jordan Belfort. I make one percent. Or I did make one percent. It’s 50%? 50% commission? For what? And so if I… if I… if I sell a stock at $10,000, my commission is 5,000 bucks?” — Jordan Belfort

“Hello, John, how are you doing today? You mailed in my company a postcard a few weeks back requesting information on penny stocks that had huge upside potential with very little downside risk. Does that ring a bell? Okay, great. The reason for the call today, John, is, something just came across my desk, John. It is perhaps the best thing I’ve seen in the last six months. If you have 60 seconds, I’d like to share the idea with you. You got a minute? The name of the company, Aerotyne International. It is the cutting edge high-tech firm out of the Midwest awaiting imminent patent approval on the next generation of radar detectors that have both huge military and civilian applications now. Right now, John, the stock trades over-the -counter at 10 cents a share. And by the way, John, our analysts indicate it could go a heck of a lot higher than that. You profit on a mere $6,000 investment would be upwards of $60,000! Exactly. You could pay off your mortgage. John, one thing I can promise you, even in this market, is that I never ask my clients to judge me on my winners. I ask them to judge me on my losers because I have so few. And in the case of Aerotyne, based on every technical factor out there, John, we are looking at a grand slam home run. $4,000? That’d be 40,000 shares, John. Let me lock in the trade right now and get back to you with my secretary with an exact confirmation. Sound good, John? Great. Hey, John. Thank you for your vote of confidence. And welcome to the Investor’s Center. Bye-bye.” — Jordan Belfort

“Just like that, I made two grand. The other guys looked at me like I’d just discovered fire. Great! Even better! I was selling garbage to garbage men and making cash hand over fist. The only problem you’re gonna have is that you didn’t buy more. Boom shocka locka! So I was selling them shit. But the way I looked at it, their money was better off in my pocket. I knew how to spend it better.” — Jordan Belfort

“Yeah. Thanks, man. Hey. I’m Jordan Belfort. Nice to meet you. Oh, yeah, where? No shit? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. What floor are you on? Right. What do you mean, what do I do? I’m a strockbroker. Yeah. Oh, good for you. Yeah, I do all right for myself. I don’t know. $70,000 last month. No, I’m serious. I told you. $70,000. Well, technically, $72,000. Last month. Something like that. Yeah.” — Jordan Belfort

“And he did quit his job. Which I thought was a little weird. I mean, I just met this fucking guy. There were other things, too. Like his phosphorescent white teeth. The fact that he wore horn rims with clear lenses just to look more WASP-y. And then, there were these rumors. I heard some more stupid shit. I don’t know. Fuck, I didn’t even want to bring it up. It’s just… it’s stupid. You know, people say shit. I don’t even know. I don’t even listen to it half the time. Shit about your cousin or something like that. I don’t even listen to it. Like you married your cousin or some stupid shit. No? Is she a first cousin, or is she… no, I get it. Yeah. I mean, you’re not afraid of like the whole kid thing, right? Yeah. I don’t want to get personal, but they’re okay? But there’s a big chance, right, if… that’d scare the shit out of me, buddy. What if something like that happened. You’re completely fucking with me. That’s horrible. You’re not gonna… you know what? If you’re happy, God bless you, buddy. Well, I’m sorry to hear that, buddy. I’m really happy with what you’re doing. You got me a little present? Oh, fuck. You’re sweet. What do you mean? Like it’s wrapped up or something? I don’t get it. I’m not fucking doing this. You’re out of your fucking mind. No. Get the fuck… I’m not fucking doing it. Okay. One hit. One hit. That’s it. Fucking nut job. Wow! Wow. Let’s go run, huh? We gotta get out of here, buddy. We gotta get out of here. Let’s go fucking run. Let’s fucking run like we’re fucking lions and tigers and bears! Let’s run! Let’s fucking run! Let’s fucking run! Go! Go, go, go, go!” — Jordan Belfort

“Hello. My name is Jordan Belfort. My partner and I are very interested in renting out your garage. Donnie and I were going out on our own. And the first thing we needed was brokers. Guys with sales experience. So I recruited some of my hometown boys. Sea Otter, who sold meat and weed. Chester, who sold tires and weed. And Robbie, who sold anything he could get his hands on. Mostly weed.” — Jordan Belfort

“This is Brad. And Brad’s the guy I really wanted. But he didn’t go along with us. He was already making so much money selling Quaaludes, he’d become the Quaalude king of Bayside. You listening? It’s easier than you think. Every person you’re on the phone with, they want to get rich and they want to get rich quickly. They all want something for nothing. What the fuck are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about? I’m not talking about Buddhists or Amish. I’m talking about normal people, working-class, everyday people. Everyone wants to get rich. Am I crazy? Do you guys not want to make money? That’s the attitude. You can sell anything? Sell me this fucking pen right here. You can sell anything. Sell that. Go ahead. Sell me the pen. Brad, show them how it’s done. Boom. Sell me the pen. Watch. Go on. That’s my boy right there. Can fucking sell anything. I can’t. I don’t have a pen. See what I’m saying? He’s creating urgency. Get them to want to buy the stock. Convince them it’s something they need, you know what I mean?” — Jordan Belfort

“But look. I knew these guys weren’t like Harvard MBAs. Robbie Feinberg, the pinhead, took five years for finish high school. Alden Kupferberg, the Sea Otter, didn’t even graduate. Chester Ming, the depraved Chinaman, thought jujitsu was in Israel. Smartest of the bunch was Nicky Koskoff. He actually went to school. I called him Rugrat because of his piece of shit hairpiece. Still, give them to me young, hungry and stupid and in no time, I’ll make them rich.” — Jordan Belfort

“You like it, baby? They’re not the biggest stones in the world, but I promise they’re really high quality. Oh, boy. I know that look. What is it? Go ahead. Well, yeah. Yeah, they’re terrible. Don’t worry about it. I told you, what I’m doing is completely legal. Well, sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. You know how it goes. Of course. But rich people don’t buy penny stocks. They just don’t. Because they’re too smart, that’s why not. I mean, what person with a college education would trust this bunch of jerk-offs? But what if they didn’t sound like a bunch of jerk-offs? What if I could teach them how to sell to people with money? Real money. So I decided to reinvent the company.” — Jordan Belfort

“Gentlemen, welcome to Stratton Oakmont. You schnooks will now be targeting the wealthiest 1% of Americans. We’re talking about whales here. Moby fucking Dicks. And with this script, which is now your new harpoon, I’m gonna teach each and every one of you to be Captain fucking Ahab. Get it? Huh? Captain Ahab. From the fucking… the book, motherfucker. From the book. Listen to me. We’re a new company with a new name. A company that our clients can believe in. A company that our clients can trust. A firm whose roots are so deeply embedded into Wall Street that our very founders sailed over on the Mayflower and chiseled the name Stratton Oakmont right into Plymouth fucking Rock! You got it? What were gonna do is this. First we pitch ’em Disney, AT&T, IBM blue chip stocks exclusively. Companies these people know. Once we’ve suckered them in, we unload the dogshit. The pink sheets, the penny stocks, where we make the money. 50% commission, baby. Now the key to making money in a situation like this is to position yourself now before the settlement. Because by the time you read about it in The Wall Street Journal, it’s already too late. Then you wait. You wait. And whoever speaks first loses.” — Jordan Belfort

“They don’t know, right? They gotta think about it, they gotta talk to their fucking wives, or the fucking Tooth Fairy. Point is, it doesn’t matter what the fuck they say. The only real objection that they have is that they don’t trust you guys. And why should they trust you? I mean, look at you. You’re a bunch of sleazy salesmen, right? So, what do you say? U.S. Steel at 16, took you out at 41… honestly, Kevin? Honestly? Seriously? …a benchmark for future business, Kevin. And then you’ll know for sure that you finally found a broker on Wall Street that you can trust, and who can consistently make you money. Sound fair enough? Kevin. You give me one shot here on a blue chip stock like Kodak, and believe me, Kevin, the only problem you’re gonna have is that you didn’t buy more. Sound fair enough? Excellent choice, Kevin. How much do you want to go for this time? Can we try 8,000, Kevin? Ten. Excellent choice! Kevin, let me lock in that trade right now and get back to you in a few minutes with an exact confirmation, Kevin. And welcome to Stratton Oakmont. Take it easy, Kev. Fuck that motherfucker! That’s what I’m talking about! What a fucking idiot.” — Jordan Belfort

Donnie Azoff, The Wolf of Wall Street, Paramount+, Red Granite Pictures, Appian Way, Sikelia Productions, EMJAG Productions, Jonah Hill

Donnie Azoff

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

1 nomination: 2014

“Excuse me. Is that your car in the parking lot? It’s a nice ride. Donnie Azoff. How you doing? You know, actually, I see that car around. I see it around a lot. I think we live in the same building. Twelfth floor? Fourth floor. I have two little kids. Ugly wife. What do you do, bro? For work, what do you? Stockbroker? Children’s furniture. It’s all right. You make a lot of money? I’m trying to put it together. You got your fucking nice car, we live in the same building. I just… I’m not understanding.. how much money do you make? Get the fuck… get the fuck out of here. Yeah, no, I’m serious, too. Seriously, how much money do you make? You made 72 grand in one month? I’ll tell you what. You show me a pay stub for $72,000 on it, I quit my job right now and I work for you.”

“Hey, Paulie, what’s up? No, yeah, yeah. No, everything’s fine. Hey, listen, I quit. Don’t fucking tell Susan. It’s none of her business. …wife! I gotta fucking deal with your wife?”

“Shit with me? What are they saying? Oh, bro, it’s not like that. It’s not like that. Yeah, my wife. Yeah. My wife is my cousin, or whatever. But it’s not like what you think, or whatever, you know. Yeah, no, she’s, you know… her… her father is the brother of my mom. It’s not like, what, you know… look, we grew up together. And she grew up hot, you know. She fucking grew up hot. And all my friends were trying to fuck her, you know. And I’m not gonna let someone… you know, one of these assholes fuck my cousin, so, you know, I used the cousin thing as like an in with her. I’m not gonna let someone else fuck my cousin. You know, if anyone’s gonna fuck my cousin, it’s gonna be me, out of respect. You know? What? Having kids with her? No. We have two kids. And they’re… I mean… no, they’re not retarded or anything like that. Yeah, there’s like a 60%, you know, 60 to 65% chance the kid’s gonna be fucking retarded or whatever. Look, man, a lot of having a kid, or whatever, takes risk, whether you’re fucking cousins or not. Basically, you know, if the kid was retarded, I would, you know, drive it up to the country and just, like, you know, open the door and say, ‘you’re free now.’ You know, like, ‘run free.’ You know? You look like you’ve… no. We would take it to, like, an institution or somewhere that’s handled to, like, you know, raise the kid or whatever. No, I’m not fucking happy. No one who’s married is fucking happy. Listen, I’m really, you know… I’m really appreciate for this fucking job. I’m, really enjoying it. Actually, I got you a little present. I got you something. You gotta go out back. It’s wrapped up. Yeah. Neither do I. Let’s fucking go. Come on. Your turn. Smoke this shit, bro. No one’s fucking here, bro. Fucking smoke crack with me, bro. Smoke crack. Smoke some fucking crack with me bro.”

“Hang up the phone. Tell him you’ll call him back. Hey! The one thing I know about in this world is airlines. And Cuchon Airlines is the future of airlines. Get in now or…”

Brad Bodnick, The Wolf of Wall Street, Paramount+, Red Granite Pictures, Appian Way, Sikelia Productions, EMJAG Productions, Jon Bernthal

Brad Bodnick

“Can you bring me some ketchup? Okay? Getting any pussy with that thing or what? Bring some of them chicks around here sometime, huh? Let ’em watch. Let ’em watch. Know what I mean? Hey, Zip! You tell your sister I was asking about her. Why don’t you bring me a pair of her panties next time you come through. Get the fuck out of here. Hey, Ma, we got chicken or what? Ma! Can we get some ketchup, please? You want me to sell you this fucking pen? Why don’t you do me a favor. Write your name on that napkin for me. Exactly. Supply and demand, my friend. Four fucking times, Kimmie! Four times. Now she runs.”

Mark Hanna, The Wolf of Wall Street, Paramount+, Red Granite Pictures, Appian Way, Sikelia Productions, EMJAG Productions, Matthew McConaughey

Mark Hanna

“Jordan Belfort. Mark Hanna. And you as well. I see you’ve already met the village asshole. Hey, fuck him. I’m the senior broker here. He’s just a worthless piker. Now did you really pitch a stock in your job interview? I fucking love that. Lunch. Today. We don’t start dialing at 9:30 because our clients are already answering the phone. Three. Two. One. Let’s fuck!”

“We don’t give two shits about how technology works because all we care about is getting fucking rich. Solid 2,000. Done! Time to paint the tape. Whoo! 2,000. Microsoft. Going in the hole! Come on. Live. Live. Hold on, that is hot. In. In. Shut that motherfucker. Shut it! Shut it! Shut it! Sold!”

“Yeah. Tootski? Well, Hector, here’s the game plan. You’re gonna bring us two Absolut martinis. You know how I like them. Straight up. And then precisely seven and one half minutes after that, you’re gonna bring us two more. Then two more after that every five minutes until one of us passes the fuck out. It’s his first day on Wall Street. Give him time. Thank you. How the fuck else would you do this job? Cocaine and hookers, my friend.”

“Fuck the clients. Your only responsibility is to put meat on the table. You got a girlfriend? Congratulations. Think about Teresa. Name of the game. Move the money from your client’s pocket into your pocket. No. Number one rule of Wall Street. Nobody… I don’t care if you’re Warren Buffet or if you’re Jimmy Buffet. Nobody knows if a stock is gonna go up, down, sideways, or in fucking circles. Least of all stockbrokers, right? It’s all a fugazi. You know what a fugazi is? Fugayzi, fugazi, it’s a whazy, it’s woozy, it’s… fairy dust. It doesn’t exist. It’s never landed. It is no matter. It’s not on the elemental chart. It’s not fucking real. Right? Stay with me. We don’t create shit. We don’t build anything. So if you got a client who bought stock at 8 and it now sits at 16, he’s all fucking happy. He wants to cash in, liquidate, take his fucking money and run home. You don’t let him do that. ‘Cause that would make it real. No. What do you do? You get another brilliant idea. A special idea. Another ‘situation.’ Another stock to reinvest his earnings and then some. And he will, every single time. ‘Cause they’re fucking addicted. And you just keep doing this, again and again and again. Meanwhile, he thinks he’s getting shit rich, which he is, on paper. But you and me, the brokers, we’re taking home cold hard cash via commission, motherfucker. You should be.”

“There’s two keys to success in the broker business. First of all… you gotta stay relaxed. Do you jerk off? How many times a week? Gotta pump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers in this racket. I myself, I jerk off at least twice a day. Once in the morning right after I work out, then once right after lunch. Mmm-hmm. I want to. That’s not why I do it. I do it ’cause I fucking need to. Think about it. You’re dealing with numbers. All day long, decimal points, high frequencies. Bang, bang, bang. Fucking digits. All very acidic above-the-shoulders mustard shit. All right? It kind of wigs some people out. Right. You got to feed the geese to keep the blood flowing. I keep the rhythm below the belt. This is not a tip, this is a prescription. Trust me. If you don’t, you will fall out of balance split your differential and tip the fuck over. Or worse yet, I’ve seen this happen, implode. No. No, you don’t. Implosions are ugly. Pop off to the bathroom, work one out any time you can. When you get really good at it, you’ll fucking be stroking it and you’ll be thinking about money.”

“Second key to success in this racket is this little baby right here. It’s called cocaine. It’ll keep you sharp between the ears. It’ll also help your fingers dial faster. And guess what? That’s good for me. Yes, sir. Revolutions. You follow? Keep the clients on the Ferris wheel. And it goes. The park is open 24/7, 365, every decade, every goddamn century. That’s it. The name of the game. Halkidiki? Come on. We’re the common denominator. Ah. Ah. Keep it up for me. ♪ You’ve seen the echo ♪ And the money comes in ♪ The parade comes to town ♪ Going down Broadway ♪ It’s a one-way street ♪ Whichever way I go ♪”

“I know your family. You know mine. No, I don’t know. Some fucking country in Europe took a shit. Let them do what they want to fucking do. Our market’s solid. Trust me, do not answer the phone. A lot of people are gonna be calling you, trying to get your dirty laundry. I know. I know. Holy fucking shit!”

Teresa Petrillo

“I love you.”

“We could pawn my engagement ring if we needed to. Because I don’t mind… if we needed to, I’m saying… okay. Okay. You’re gonna be a millionaire. What? You’re not gonna work at that place. Jordan, you’re gonna be miserable at that place if you go there. You’re not gonna be a stock boy. ‘Cause you’re a strockbroker. Ah. This place is. What’s that say? Yeah. It’s in Long Island. So what?”

“Oh, my God. Jordan, that… oh, my God, it’s beautiful. It’s beautiful. They’re so beautiful. What? I don’t know, it’s… you know… these stocks… these companies… they’re like crappy companies. Okay. Yeah, I know. But they’re not gonna make anyone money though, right? Wouldn’t you feel better if you sold that stuff to rich people who can, like, afford to lose all that money? Why not?”

Investor’s Center

“What’s that? You want to invest? Oh. Yeah, yeah, that’s us. Hey. This is it. This is it. I’m Dwayne. Yeah. Yes, yeah. Have a seat. How are you? We spoke on the phone earlier, right? Right. Yeah.”

“They’re up and comers. That’s what that means. It’s 3 cents a share, that’s $3! You cheap fuck! Quotrons? No, no. We don’t even need computers here. We just trade right off the pink sheets here. Yeah, they’re penny stocks. You know, uh, companies that can’t get listed on NASDAQ they don’t have enough capital? Their shares trade here. Yeah. This one, uh, Aerodyne, is a really interesting… or Aerotyne… Aero… Aerotyne… very hot stock right now. They’re just a couple of brothers that are making radar detectors out of their garage. They’re out in Dubuque. Maybe it’s microwaves. I’m not sure. But you call the company’s main line, their mom, Dorothy, answers and she is so sweet. I actually don’t know what else to… I don’t know anything else about them other than that. Well, I mean… honestly, mostly schmucks. Postmen, there’s always postmen. Uh, plumbers. Um… they see our ads in the back of, uh, Hustler and Popular Mechanics. Our ads actually say they can get rich quick. Yeah. You know, those girlie magazines. A lot. We’re helping them finance houses, we’re helping them buy their wife a diamond ring… a boat maybe. Uh… sort of. Yeah. And that’s the point, that’s… what’s your name again? Jordan, what do you get on that blue chip stock? Pink sheets, it’s 50. Yup. It’s our markup for our services. If you sell $10,000 worth of this stock, I will personally give you a blowjob for free. And I hope it happens.”

“How’d you fucking do that?”


“Yeah, I may have sent something. Actually, I’m really very… Jesus! That’s my mortgage, man. This stock will pay off my house? Okay, let’s do it. I’ll do 4 grand. Yeah, sounds good. Yeah, thanks a lot, man.”

“You’ve reached Frank’s Best Auto Body. We’re closed right now. So please leave us a message.”

“Sorry, uh… I appreciate the call. I really have to give this some thought and talk to my wife about it. Can I call you back?”

“I don’t know you. You cold-called me. You’re a total stranger. I do wanna say that you sound like a… you sound like a pretty sincere guy. You know what… yeah. I gotta say, I’m pretty impressed. What are you thinking? Shit. My… uh… my wife might divorce me, but… yeah, let’s do it. Let’s do 5… $5,000. All right. Let’s do 10. You want to do that? Thanks, man. I’m gonna have a beer. This is fun. Hey, thanks, Jordan. Thanks a…”


“You are lower than pond scum. You got a problem with that, Jordan? Good. Because that is what you are. Pond scum. Your job is connector, which means that you’ll be dialing the phone over 500 times a day trying to connect me with wealthy business owners. And until you pass your Series 7, that is all you’re gonna fucking be doing. Sit. Sit! Now, just so you know, last year I made over $300,000. The other guy you’ll be working for, he made over a million. Smile and dial. And don’t pick up your fucking head until 1:00. Why don’t you blow me, Hanna?”

“You motherfucker, you can’t get any at 44… sorry… pick up the cocksucking phone! You are such a fucking douchebag, Hanna. You know what happened? A fucking tsunami. Yes, I will talk to your wife.”

Wall Street

“Piece of shit! Good fucking package… yeah. Fuckface, look at where the stock’s today, huh?”

“Mr. Hanna, what can I bring for you on this glorious afternoon? Excellent strategy, sir.”

“This is not something you want to sell. I think you’re making a big mistake. We don’t know what’s going on here.”


“Yeah, man, of course. Yeah, man. She said she don’t want to talk to you anymore, man.”

Belfort Estate

“Oh, yeah. Oh, you like it?”

“Okay, Mr. Jordan.”


“Pull up. Pull up! We’re gonna crash, for Christ sake! Yeah, I’m all right. Good job. You get in there safe, all right? Till next time.”

Stratton Oakmont

“The world of investing can be a jungle. Bulls. Bears. Danger at every turn. That’s why we at Stratton Oakmont pride ourselves at being the best. Trained professionals to guide you through the financial wilderness. Stratton Oakmont. Stability. Integrity. Pride.”

“One! Two! Three! One! Two! Three!”

“There was this one time that I was selling pot to this Amish dude. You know those guys who got like the beard with like no mustache or some bullshit? Well, he says that he only wants to make furniture. I don’t understand. What’s that got to do with anything? I’m not putting words in your mouth or nothing, but you just said that everybody wants to get rich. Holy fuck, you did just say that. Yeah, like Buddhists. They don’t give a shit about money. They’re wrapped in sheets. They’re not buying shit. There’s no such thing as an Amish Buddhist. There could be. I’m pretty sure. I want to make some money. I want to make some fucking money, okay. I can sell anything. Shit, I can sell ludes to a convent full of nuns, and get them so horny they’d be fucking each other. Can I finish eating first? I haven’t eaten today. Holy shit. And that’s the thing. All nuns are lesbians. What the fuck are you talking about, Otter? Think about it. They can’t keep a dude so they’re gonna start fucking chicks. Friggin’ Rambo. He’s not with us.”

“I got 5 fucking grand on the phone right now! Captain who? Turn your fucking brain on. Jesus fuck, Robbie. Fuck you.”

“You mean to tell me that if I put you in at Union Carbide at 7 and took you out at 32… Texas Instruments at 11 and took you out at 47… you wouldn’t be saying to me right now, ‘Chester, pick me up a few thousand shares of Disney on the spot, right now. Come on.’ I am in complete agreement with you. You don’t know me, I don’t know you. Let me introduce myself to you. My name is Alden Kupferberg. Chester Ming. Robbie Feinberg. I’m Senior Vice President at Stratton Oakmont… …and I plan on being one of the… …top brokers in my firm next year. And I’m not going to get there by being wrong, Stanley. It’s not gonna make you rich and it’s not gonna make you poor. But what this trade will do is serve as… you feel comfortable with me now, Scotty? Chester Ming… I’m Nicky Koskoff…”

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