by AngelaRak on Tue Dec 30, 2008 3:25 pm
Ha ha. That was sarcastic and witty, Ebaily!
But, just to add, that though some Artisans may choose to "mistreat" their mate, not all do. That is not an Artisan trait that has been hard-wired, though it may be a typical weakness of the type. (All of the types have predictable negative tendencies. But, many of them still get married!)
Negotiation is the way to go. Pretty Protective, you can still get an Artisan who treats you well. This is not an oxymoron or a contradicting concept. I have three adult Artisans in my family whom I've been watching for many years, in several relationships (parent, spouse, sibling), and they are wonderful, weaknesses and all. (And they rarely mistreat me, or others.)
Another thing to consider is "nurture" or environment. Though temperament is hardwired, including those predictable negative tendencies, you are always in control of your choices. (Temperament does not dictate all behavior. Choices can overrule any typical tendency.) Artisans can learn through natural consequences (what I am referring to as environment, or nurture), or a method Professor Keirsey came up with called "Abuse it Lose it," that certain behavior on their part doesn't fly. It doesn't work in the relationship. And since they are Adaptors (like Rationals) who are more focused on "what works" over "what's right" they will respond to this method. And choose behavior that does work in the relationship. (Here is that negotiation I was talking about.*)
So, nurture can have its effect too. Another example of this is that these Artisans I mention are all God-fearing, and strive to live by a moral standard that doesn't "let anything go." Their choices to live by this moral code (yes, it is possible for the Adaptors: Artisans and Rationals to be religious or intentionally choose to live by a moral code) helps curb their type-based negative tendences.
*Note, that just because Adaptors typically prefer methods that "work" over conventions that are regionally considered "right" does not mean that as a temperament group they don't do what's right, either neglectfully or defiantly. It just means that that's they're first choice in action. If a method both "works" and is "right" they will choose that as well. Though, always considering if it works first, and then considering social norms and conventions. (Brains and Careers, pages 27-29.)
For the curious, "Abuse it Lose it" is a short manual written by Professor Keirsey on managing unruly children in the classroom. However, its principles can be applied to any relationship with anyone, though it seems to work especially well with Artisans. This can be purchased at matrixbooksinc.com or call 1-800-753-2731 to order.
Temperament Connoisseur
