Family Types

[Narnia51483]

Really?

[stellarrenegade]

Wow, yes, that's a lot of Ns. It would appear from this thread that one can't really predict kids' types based on parents' types. It does not seem to follow a pattern of inheritance, but there are quite a few cases where two N parents produce all N kids, so I don't know.

Yeah, but don't forget the grandpa gene! Sometimes those little suckers get tucked in a dark corner until the third generation when they pop out of hiding. Which sucks for the kids who get them, cuz then they end up already looking like an old guy.

But I think the point isn't so much that the correlation is necessarily always the same between parents and child (and there are only four temperaments, anyway, and the parents don't even usually share one) but that temperament is more than just some wishy-washy thing inside our head, but is rooted in something much more tangible and real. Heck, I'd love to see correlation done in neurology, too!

km_powers, your husband is a lucky man.

I AGREE WITH YOUR IN-DEPTH ANALYSIS, PROFESSOR JEFFSTER!

But I agree about the cooperative types. Also, I just thought of this... divorce isn't really an option in Indian culture... even though they have lived in the US for most of the time they were married, it probably still affects their decisions.

Wow, are you Indian? Amazing, I never knew!

[april]

Yep, well, my parents were born in India and moved to the US before my brother and I were born. So I'm Indian in descent, but not really nationality...never lived there either. But I find a lot of people fascinated with the culture .

[shytiger]

They do avoid conflict, but instead complain about each other to my brother or me. If they spoke to each other's faces I think the number of fights would multiply...it might have changed things.

But I agree about the cooperative types. Also, I just thought of this... divorce isn't really an option in Indian culture... even though they have lived in the US for most of the time they were married, it probably still affects their decisions.

My wife's parents, Teacher and Protector, did exactly the same thing to her. She demanded that they leave her out of it. Divorce isn't an option for fundamentalists either.

My parents, on the other hand, went out of their way to leave us out of their conflicts and problems.

[shytiger]

I wouldnt say that's true for the Champion, perhaps female ones, most male Champions get out of relationships quickly.

Whenever I think male Champion, I think of Wilson from Dr. House. Perhaps people are also hasty to get out of relationships with them .

[Goodrum]

...and a divorce for us has been in many ways, a positive thing, (Supervisor Guardian and Healer Idealist). No regrets here, and still a useful, caring and respectful-working relationship without the spikes. The part of me that can step back and observe the affect upon "us", as a family is thinking, well managed, and the part that is invested, "was"? invested in the relationship is saying, you gave it your best kid.

[Jeffster]

I don't think divorce is ever a positive thing. Especially when kids are involved. If there's one thing I've never forgiven my parents for it's getting divorced. As far as I'm concerned, it's the same thing as violence against children.

[Goodrum]

...and I would suggest divorce is more than a useful tool in our society so those that can find the desire and way to do it, (it isn't smooth sailing), focus on better use of personal/emotional resources toward benefit for children, (and each parent involved for the matter) instead of trying to flog a dead horse, (the marriage).

Your experience through your own childhood experiences are yours, and I am more than sorry to hear what you went through, to flip the coin, I am the product from a very unhealthy relationship and divorced parents, for me, in childhood divorce was a godsend, emotionally, physically-any which way you might imagine.

The violence was within that marriage, that family dynamic. It was a huge relief to escape.

The next step that important for me as a child, then younger adult, was learning my folks were only human and how best to understand them, then forgive them. Because that was important to me, core inside issue. I don't like carrying unnecessary baggage.

That is only my experience and need for myself, my little sister has more along your expressions Jeffster. That's life.

[christina]

My opinion is that divorce is sometimes better for the children, however, I think it is the trend in America to bail on marriages too quickly. I'm not sure I'm convinced real effort is put into relationships anymore. However, I go back and forth because I hold the opinion that if the relationship doesn't work well in the beginning, it's not likely to work in the end. I sympathize with those coming from/getting out of bad relationships/marriages.


I'm not sure I can understand the viewpoint of kids with parents that went through a divorce I assume they feel like life was good and then it got turned upside down and never turned right side up again.

[Narnia51483]

I'm not sure I can understand the viewpoint of kids with parents that went through a divorce I assume they feel like life was good and then it got turned upside down and never turned right side up again.

Bingo!

I think this is the dynamic and feeling that comes when parents have tried to build a life for their children, KNOWING full well in their heart of hearts that their marriage was a sham. I don't think it's true as much when divorce happens earlier in a marriage; then again, I don't know, because I don't have that experience as a child of divorce. I just know that after 20 years of one life, having it ripped apart and having to rebuild my images of my parents was tough stuff to endure, for everyone.