Personal development of one's temperament

[RandomUser191]

ok, so i've decided to wake up the forum. please help me.

i want you to remember the person you were some years ago and compare it with the person you are today. i'm interested in how much your temperament has been developed/manipulated and how it has affected your life.

personally, i'm one of those die hard believers that everyone has the potencial to achieve greatness (idelist much?) and that while we can't turn our temperament 180 degrees, we can most definitely manipulate it into the direction we want, if we just work on ourselves hard enough.

i myself have strictly worked on being more open and extraverted and i'm happy to say that some immense progress was made. i have become a lot more expressive and show a lot more extravent characteristics than i have 5 years ago. while the 15-year-old was hardly able to order a drink due to timidness, today it feels like i'm a totally different person in that sence.
i've grown into a somewhat reserved, and yet easy to read person who has a lot to say and likes sharing his views with everyone.

i still feel social events tiring, but today it's like my battery lasts much longer (especially if i'm having fun) and while years back i would stay silent in a group when someone new entered it, i'm now often the one to walk up to the stranger(s) and introduce myself.
i also relax a lot faster in a group of people i don't know (or have just met) than i have before. yes, i'm definitely still an introvert and i always will be, but in a country of introverts, i'd say i'm a lot more open than many people my age.


i have also noticed some change in the S/N field (it used to be about 60/40 but today it's 70/30). i daydream a lot less now. my head is sadly never empty, but at least for the last years, i have lived in the real world (up untill i was 15, i considered myself being an N). i leave abstract thinking to the hour(s) it takes me to fall asleep instead of allowing it to invade my everyday life. it has helped me notice changes in my environment a lot more often.

I've also been working on my T side. i like being F, but i needed to learn to control myself better and not let my emotions get the best of me. i still react impulsively on subjects that i'm very passionate about but as a whole, i've definitely succeded in keeping my cool in most cases.

the only field that hasn't changed much is the J/P. i'm still as organised and unspontanious as i've always been (always about 90/10) and i don't know how much i can really manipulate here.

uh... quite long post. now i would appreciate if the people who will post, to write at least 3/4 of the amoung that i have written. have a nice day.

[shytiger]

I've been able to draw my many facets into a more integrated whole. I can recognize my various moods now as simply an expression of myself rather than a new state of being. I have learned to take it easier and recognize that I can't achieve great things if I'm stressed out all the time. I'm learning to explain myself better to others and find ways to, say, go be alone without hurting people's feelings.

On another front, I'm finding ways to work that fit better with my own personality. I'm learning that you can be organized without being scheduled. You take care of details without losing sight of the big picture.

I've drifted away from magical thinking and learned that being unique doesn't require going outside the bounds of rationality. In doing so, I've been looking to anchor myself more solidly in details instead of letting myself capsize in a storm of abstraction.

[Quinta]

What I want to say will be in place two posts after this one.

[Quinta]

Then there was still this example of impatience with old equipment. (I have my guitar standing beside my computer...)

[Quinta]

I am sure of one thing: This analytical approach to human interaction has helped me be more patient with personal encounters. I still have a tendency to withdraw if I find a conversation uninteresting or repetitive, I still omit social cues that may be of importance, but I'm getting better at them.

Learning about attentiveness has helped me relax more. Before learning about it, I could get annoyed by people who wouldn't let others talk, and always be competing for having a say. Now I can sit back and enjoy listening.. after all, expressives do come to point where they want feedback.

I find I organize a good deal quite naturally. This has made me take it for granted, so I have become lazy about it. Even though it may be a natural strength,.. (not all will agree on that) it needs training to function well.

I am still a bit puzzled as to my own temperament, I'm no extreme in either direction, it seems.

So the conclusion is that I still take it as a working hypothesis.

[SunPath]

This is a great question. I'll have to get back to it. Sorry, to keep you waiting.

[Goodrum]

There has been so much aquisition in my life, I too, need to think on this, one thing I can say is it hasn't just been about positives and learning, the doing, it's also been my mistakes, errors that have served to remodel my life, expectations, actions..perceptions.

Greater patience has been one thing. Learning that there are many ways to skin cats another, understanding people, (temperament better) has been a massive shift in my learning base, to have more confidence in my decisions, not to be so hard on myself for errors of judgement, to act on matters of the heart in love, to understand better, (again!), my temperament and where it colors my interaction, (or lack thereof) with the world, to observe myself now with a 'better' depth of understanding.

To still enjoy every moment life tosses my way, an even greater enhancement of that with my brother going through his illness and losing family members through tragedy. I defintely feel that my foundation footings of life are strong under fire, that I have good, solid developed resources. The darkest moments do truly pass.

Also, another person's beliefs do not necessarily have to be wrong for me to be right.

I'm very glad I still have a strong desire and preparedness to learn, but that does not necessarily mean or follow therefore the lessons of life are sweet and smooth.

I may think of more.

[MarmieDearest]

I no longer impulsively lash out at people if I'm frustrated or angry. I never was one of those kids who got into fist fights, I wasn't rough enough for all that, but in high school there were a couple of incidents (one that I think is really pretty funny, a guy knocked my books off of my desk, I told him to pick it up, he said "pick it up yourself bitch" ...so I did, and hit him over the head with it ...he wasn't hurt or anything, but he sure was surprised!) ...so yeah, I grew out of things like that. I also no longer drive so fast that I get into accidents or do 360s in the middle of the freeway (seriously, once I was driving so fast my car went around IN A CIRCLE, but I managed to keep control of the wheel, and drive away unhurt).

I've also learned to a be a bit more productive with my hedonistic impulses, I'm less curious about trying every flavor of alcoholic beverage I could order in a bar, and more curious about learning to make new cuisine when I cook (I love cooking!) and my drinking is moderate now, and primarily limited to wines or imported beer, of which I've become more of a "snob" lol.

I've also become more T as I've grown up, I think I'm more sensible and logical than I was in my late teens and early twenties, though I am still very much a more values/people oriented Feeler.

I also learned to value what the SJ members of my family taught me growing up. I really felt frustrated by too much structure or scheduling by the time I was in my late teens (I grew up taking all kinds of dance and music classes outside of regular school, as well as church, and my grandparents had formal dinner at the same time every day, etc.) ...and I think I drifted for a while, being very very lax and taking joy out of very little productivity. I think it was good for me to go back to my natural temperament, but as I've gotten older I have a better balance between resisting too much structure and keeping my independence, but also being more productive now.

[RandomUser191]

i find it interesting how every group described his/her development differently. used different words, emphasis on different fields of life in which the change took place, even different ways of describing similar things.

i'm sure you'll understand what i mean if you read though them again.

[MarmieDearest]

What I want to say will be in place two posts after this one.

Is this a nod toward your secondary intelligences as a Rational (in this case you're more so Artisan impact than Idealist diplomacy) ...or do you have OCD?

Or is this an inside joke I'm not in on?