by MarmieDearest on Sat Jun 30, 2012 9:22 pm
I can relate *somewhat* to Courtney, actually. I've never been hospitalized for severe physical abuse, but I've had screaming matches and dramatic fights with partners, and have also made dramatic gestures to try to change a partner I had a love hate relationship with (totally understand calling a guy a loser then later saying I can't live without him).
It says at the end do you have advice for Courtney, and mine would be, f___, do it anyway just for the impact it will make on him, as a form of revenge, even if it doesn't change him.
Because what women like Courtney have to learn is that they can't change anyone, you've got to take people for what they are, and trying to change someone by begging or enabling or angry force just doesn't work.
I had to learn I can't change anyone besides myself.
I think part of the reason those relationships last, though, is because the drama keeps the relationship from getting boring.
Artisans have to learn to get their excitement from somewhere other than knock down drag out fights with a onery partner, lol.
My mom is an ESFP and she has told me "hey you don't have the energy for that stuff when you get older" and I'm already aware of what she means, and she advised me and my sisters to find a man we can be good friends with, not just someone we have great chemistry with.
It sounds trite, but it's true. Being friends is very important. I've actually reached a point where I wouldn't accept anything less than that kind of friendship bond.
