Mistakes were made, but not by me

[Quinta]

Thanks for the recommendation!

I don't think I need to justify that I bought that book. But when I sat up late yesterday, really overtired, I came wondering what I really was trying to accomplish, fooling myself about the need to sleep.

The book makes me rethink about disappointments in people. One instance when I risked speaking up about some outrageous behavior, and the person in question didn't even own up to it, as if it didn't exist. I could hardly believe it, but the others did.

There's a lot of insight into the dynamics of denial here, and also why it works to "fake it till you make it", when attempting life change. The book makes it understandable that support is necessary when changing.

Do I use the book as a proof about things I know? I guess it's rather enlightening about things that I've found puzzling.

But again, the need for sleep. Do I need to justify that I need to go to bed? It seems a bit childish. I didn't realize that sleeping felt good until I was at least ten. Sleeping was just something you were told to do. Am I still in the mood thinking that there's so much going on that sleep is just a waste of time?

I know it isn't.

And that's the end for tonight. Or is it? Do I HAVE to finish that chapter? Yes, I must, - NO, it makes no sense reading when tired, I just forget what I've read... and on and on.

(inspired by "Mistakes were made") It's a good read.

[Quinta]

I have finished the book, Mistakes were made. And it does help me look at memories in another light.

At a family cottage, we were having a birthday party, inviting locals over. I was in charge and my husband, supportive as usual, gave me a helping hand in getting things done. A visiting mother saw this and muttered: "You're spoiled." Now, being spoiled was really the worst thing in my upbringing. But instead of just letting that remark tell me that maybe she had a lot to handle on her own, I later wrote her a letter on how I would try to change. She didn't reply. And I have not improved SO much.

It kind of astonishes me to what length I would go in order to keep the peace of hospitality, and the belief that I could deal well with the local people. I plan to go back to that cottage this summer,but I'm not sure I would like to see that woman again. She destroyed my belief in dealing well with the locals. So my confidence has to rest somewhere else. ..Culture and personal differences ARE complicated, and knowing that, I'll do what I can.

Mistakes were made... ends with a chapter on not being so afraid of making mistakes as mistakes are part of any learning process. It tells about Japanese children who learn that working on it is what will make them succeed in maths. Americans can be told they're talented. And then, when they still made mistakes, they often assumed they're not good at maths anyway, or say that they lost interest. The Japanese continue learning from mistakes .. With a better result.

My mom is Diplomatic. She also stresses my diplomatic potential. No matter the talent. Practice and failure is inevitable. We just need to own up to our mistakes and learn from them.

Other themes covered: the way couples see each other, the risk of fallacies in interrogation and investigation, professional self protection