Observing Human Action: Inferring Temperament

[Olga]

I've seen this "blaming" many times in my mother (ESFJ), and I have personal experience with it too.

I remember how my mother have worried to death about someone, seriously worrying, has been placed in a terible emotional state because of someone else, and it is this frustration (which is first shown as a relief for that person being safe), and then all the negative emotions are directed at that person when one knows they are going to be fine. It seems to be a blame game, because that other person is "responsible" for the worry they have caused.

I've done this too when I have felt that the "danger" (or something else) could have been avoided by that person.

Not saying it is a good thing to do, but when I have felt this, I couldn't control it. But to the observer it seems harsh and bad (which it actually is).

[rob]

I saw October Sky a long time ago, but I remember the general story and the characters. I agree that the movie provides great examples of an Architect and an Inspector in action. In addition, from what I can remember, the Architect Homer and his Inspector dad just instinctively value and prioritize very different things in life and don't understand each other. As a result, their relationship seriously struggles. This also exemplifies the potential problems in relationships between Guardian parents and Rational children described in Please Understand Me.

Another movie that shows struggles between adults and children of different temperaments is Dead Poets' Society. It's about a bunch of boys at an East Coast prep school in the 1950s. In the movie, the Administrator Guardians in positions of power have serious differences of opinion with the boys and one of their teachers over the way things should be done and what's important in life. Two of the boys, Neil and Todd, both Idealists, were seriously misunderstood by their respective Administrator Guardian fathers. The boys' English teacher, Mr. Keating, most likely a Teacher Idealist, tried to educate his students in unconventional ways that he felt would be more beneficial for their learning. Mr. Keating and the boys consequently had serious conflicts with the school's Administrator Guardian headmaster/principal Mr. Nolan. Neil's father and Mr. Nolan were completely intolerant of the children's and Mr. Keating's straying from the "straight and narrow" path they had set out for the children. I won't spoil the plot any more for those that haven't seen it.

[stellarrenegade]

Dead Poets' Society FTW!